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Florian

Is revenge good for you?

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If you have been treated really unfair by a person and been deeply hurt and feel the urge for revenge, is it good for you to act on it or not? 

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Depends. i've been bullied as a kid by a bigger kid for months once.

nobody helped me no teacher no parent no siblings.

so one day i beat that bully up when i was about 10 or 11 y o.

And that did feel good, also that bully left me alone after that.

But as a grown up you should find other ways than "revenge"

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@PurpleTree This isn't revenge though, but rather self-defense. If they are actively harming you and you harm them in return, it's self-defense. If they harmed you somewhere in the past and you harm them out of an unresolved emotion, it's revenge.

I got my revenge on a childhood bully once. They were the reason my mother decided to send me to kickboxing school. First, they put me into the children group for kids from 6 - 10 years (I was like 8 or 9). I trained and trained and got better at kickboxing. Then, when I turned 10, they put me into the teenager group. Guess who was also there? My bully. I had to fight them in a match and beat them up real good. In fact, I beat them up SO good that they apologized to me after training. We were cool with each other from that point on.

It taught me a few things. Revenge is like removing an emotional splinter from your body. It can make you feel relieved, however, is it really the best way to solve an emotional problem? In the end all you are doing is to give in into the pain. You give into the hurt. So all you are doing is to let somebody's past actions decide your present ones. You give them the power over your life. Over your emotions. Over your actions. Over yourself. Even if you get your revenge, you only did so because THEY made you do it. THEY had the power OVER you. Over how you've felt.

Revenge "can" be a good way to take back ownership over how you feel, sure, but there is another way that is way more powerful and way more effective at doing so. It's called forgiveness. Forgiveness will give you all the positive effects of revenge, minus the negative ones. Unlike revenge, forgiveness doesn't have to wait for certain external factors to align in order to take effect. You can forgive whenever you feel ready to do so.

Revenge isn't about another person. It's about you. It's about YOUR emotions, YOUR actions, YOUR thoughts and YOUR life. So is forgiveness. But unlike revenge, forgiveness can happen from within at any time. It doesn't rely on another person. It only relies on YOUR willingness to forgive. It can take a while before you can forgive. It can take a while before you can move on. But it will be worth it. (Keep in mind: Revenge won't necessarily allow you to move on!) 

 

 

 

Here is a couple of relevant videos that you could watch!

Much love and peace!

Edited by DefinitelyNotARobot

beep boop

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Revenge usually doesn't turn out as you planned it in your mind, leaves you with more destruction and emotional burden. Even though it depends on the people and the situation, I think it's better to think twice before actually doing something.

Also @DefinitelyNotARobot has some really good points, you should check that out.

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Revenge is about catharsis. But the thing is, studies found that catharsis theory actually doesn't work as it's supposed to. It's supposed to be an emotional release, but what actually does is, make you angrier and more destructive, as amenX said.
If you want, watch this video that is experimentation on that. 


For an internal problem search for an internal solution. You can never change others, only yourself.  
I wish you the absolute best 

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If you cant let it go, take your ravenge.

When i was younger i played football. In football circles if you are young and you play with older guys, you are like inferior than them and they are allowed to treat you bad, and you dont have the right to speak up and stand for yourself. So i was stuffing down theese anger, hatred etc. 

I end up being super passive agressive and bitter towards people who have nothing to do with that. So the thing i figured out  was  that no mater who you are or on what level of social herichy you are, you got the right to stand for yourself and call out when something is wrong and you are mistreated.

When we left ourselvs to be treated unfairly and we dont let it go, we stuff theese emotional backage in our subconcusnes mind and we end up with low self esteem and depression.  Ofcourse that happens if allow that for long period of time which was my case.

I am not claimng that everything that i said is right, but for me is right and this is  what is  working for me. 

And also if you are in spirituality, that doesnt mean you let people treat you like a shit.

This is my take on that ;)

Edited by evgn

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I believe revenge stems from some form of rage, anger and resentment you are choosing to hold on to. Rather than expressing this to create more turmoil, distress and chaos in your life, it would be more harmonious to let it pass away through the unconditional healing energy of the Heart. This is an act, nog an idea. Forgiveness, releasing and moving on with walking your highest purpose, deepest fulfilment and most blissfull balance sounds more appealing to me than wasting energy hurting others. I believe the Grand Karma will ultimately teach the other.

Edited by Darlisto

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Here’s the emotional scale as described by Abraham-Hicks:

Joy/Appreciation/Empowerment/Freedom/Love

Passion

Enthusiasm/Eagerness/Happiness

Positive Expectation/Belief

Optimism

Hopefulness

Contentment

Boredom

Pessimism

Frustration/Irritation/Impatience

Overwhelment (feeling overwhelmed)

Disappointment

Doubt

Worry

Blame

Discouragement

Anger

Revenge

Hatred/Rage

Jealousy

Insecurity/Guilt/Unworthiness

Fear/Grief/Desperation/Despair/Powerlessness

 

The closer we are to joy, the more easily we attract what we want.

How to use the emotional scale.

 


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NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

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@Nahm Ye but the significant question for me is how to lift up the emotions and I wondered if acting up on the feeling of revenge was a way to let it go. 

Actually just 30mins ago or so I was honest to the person and told her how angry I was about her and I think this was the best way. 

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Firstly , I am not saying that revenge is good or bad, there are, in fact cases that can be made for necessary revenge, to suppose that there cannot be is to impose limitations on the potential of an imagination we may not know enough about both with respect to the initial situation of concern and the perceiver of said situation relative to their perception of time and what they believe they can get out of it or to impose our own merits of conduct for all classes of situations which bring about feelings of revenge, either action can be argued out of existence unless one is omnipotent. These cases are merely cases showing respect for the imagination rather than cases that I myself would necessarily follow through with in those instances and thus reserve the right to not usher in an opinion that would only lead the witness, fool the jury and corrupt the judge trying to deliver a sentence on something he barely understands beyond what he has been taught.

For any reader: Have you grappled with the phenomenon of what revenge actually is? How can you merely equate it with hitting someone back because they hit you?

The limits of our consciousness are far greater than most other mammals on earth, but if we are in a culture that is impoverished, of which most are, we will not surrender ourselves to a life that deserves those higher limits and so we will much act like monkeys do when one monkey throws a coconut at another monkey. Strike back without thought, even though, our striking back, may be totally out of alignment with our own long term interests, the interests of our position relative to the object of revenge and the extension of our sense of control over the object we have feelings of revenge towards.

Have you thought about how taking revenge affects your future development? How you may look at the situation in the future from multiple positions? For example, how could you possibly validate the idea that you would be happy in the future when our perspective of a situation in our future often depends on our level of development?

Imagine at 5 years of age you took revenge on a child that stepped on your sand castle by stepping on their sand castle, how do you perceive that act of revenge now? Was it worth it? What did you get out of it? And these are your reservations, there is nothing that my comment needs to project on your own experience there based on any ethics you may believe I follow. Perhaps the only way to proceed forward was to really step on this other child's sand castle because then it puts an end to all future sand castle stomping not just to you but to all other children they come across. 

But how could you possibly imagine this at 5 years of age unless you happened to be unfathomably intelligent at that age? Meaning, when you develop in the future from now, you may perceive your present potential act of revenge differently thus you cannot necessarily completely know if your action of revenge now will be something you value in the future without very, very  good argumentation.

So one of the keys here is the purpose behind your actions of revenge, if you have personally dealt with the feelings already, then the action behind the revenge obviously has some other utility as such that the action of revenge may be predicated on achieving some logical consequence which is analogous. Let's take government for example, if we live in North Korea, would it not be right to take revenge on the government if we had the intelligence and the rest of possible means to overthrow the government to secure a new future of prosperity? Right and wrong are the incorrect  implementation here perhaps, at the very least it would seem completely irrational NOT to overthrow the government if you knew the odds were supremely stacked in your favour, without delusion.

Game theoretically then, how should you proceed forward? This much needs to be on the cards. If it neither aids you, someone else, your larger environment or how you would like to potentially teach your future child, why do it? If you feel the urge, then maybe the correct course of action is to instead take revenge on the feelings of revenge themselves by seeking to understand them as much as possible until that dream landscape can be transformed to a revitalised creative state that puts you in a new position in consciousness.

Have you thought about the epistemic implications of revenge itself? 
What does revenge say about what it means to have a human experience?
What does revenge say about the projections of the mind?
What does it say about the mind itself?
How can we reimagine the feelings that are attached to the objects related to revenge and the objects themselves?
What does revenge say about imagination?
What does revenge say about the experience of being, in the context of the social landscape?
What does it say about how humans relate to other humans?
What does revenge say about our perception of time?
What does revenge say about our need for and perception of survival?

The greater the pain the more we have an opportunity to grow to a higher level.
(because the sum of our growth must be greater than the initial cause)

So perhaps its not should we take revenge but rather, when we ought to versus ought not to, when and why. Because to not impose a pressure on gravity for example, we would never have invented aeroplanes, gone to space, even have the capacity to walk. By reimagining the intuitive landscape of revenge as I've done here with that analogy, you'll be able to see the larger role of revenge in the context of envisioning other modes of being and how it explains our various other kinds of advances, from both the necessity of revenge in certain cases to the protections we invent to not take or need to take revenge when we ought not to because it does not aid us in our ascension.


 

Edited by Origins

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In short, in my mind there exists many situations in which immediate well placed aggression is the appropriate course of action and there are other instances in which more strategic courses of action which are applied across time is more appropriate and there exists situations in which there is no further or escalation in aggression is required but the last two and even the first are a matter of well executed intelligence. All in all, this is a matter of scales, degrees and circumstances.

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I think revenge is good if you wait like a year or so, to act.

What I am saying is that if you are gonna get even you gotta have zero emotions.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

 

 

Arc

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It can be good, if you can't forget how you were wronged, just know karma's a bitch, but if you're willing to take what karma will dish out, then have at it! ?


“You don’t have problems; you are the problem.”

– Swami Chinmayananda

Namaste ? ?

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On 1/11/2021 at 10:20 PM, K Ghoul said:

Karma? Sounds more like some petty politics that people get involved in on a regular basis when interacting with each other.

 

? I'm not very political first of all.

Second, I follow advaita Vedanta (school of hindu) more then anything, which teaches karma. Even though the entire relative world is illusion, including karma. Lol

 

Edited by Ananta

“You don’t have problems; you are the problem.”

– Swami Chinmayananda

Namaste ? ?

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Revenge is a very straightforward way of expressing and freeing your emotions. Just need to sort of consider the consequences. If I had to choose between revenge or having a trauma for a few years, revenge is definitely my choice!

Of course the suggestions above are all good, still better to resolve the problem using other methods. I believe there are many ways to resolve the pain and anger between you and your "enemy". However sometimes the "good" ways just don't work and you'll just have to express your feelings.

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On 2020.11.11. at 10:56 PM, Florian said:

If you have been treated really unfair by a person and been deeply hurt and feel the urge for revenge, is it good for you to act on it or not? 

If you have a mindset like Krishna, then doing something to somebody is fine, but then there is no vengeance or even hatred or anything negative, only the experience of seeing everyone as pure infinite souls which doesn't die and are bliss themselves, even with the cover of ignorance - therefore there is no remorse needed for anybody. With that mindset Krishna won a violent war. The one who derived this way of thinking is Kapila and that method of cognizing the world is called Sankhya. It is like a siddhi - remove everything in your innerspace by purifying yourself and establishing your thinking from the inner space of enightenment then even the bully will not be supported to harm your body. The power depends on the mastery. This is what in hinduism said.

Other than that, the intention of the action matters, if you act out of that and keep spraling downward due to enimity, you will lose the track of your life's purpose and incur negative karma, the karma of violence. And both-ways, if you help somebody, serve somebody, do charity work, make somebody happy, cause somebodys life - you incur positive karma which accelerates you to your desires and purpose.

Waste as little as time as possible and find ways to purify yourself. That is what I do. You want to take revenge, because you might feel there is nothing better to do. Go and search your purpose, do visualisation on what you want, look for your authentic desires - those who arise when you are in a good mood.

Hope this helps! :) 

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