How to deal with "good" but needy people

[March]

Hey,

So i have this friend / co worker who is really damn needy. However, i feel like he is actually quite open minded, and not that toxic. The problem is that I feel I am being sucked into a codependent relationship - I don't need anything, but I feel this person keeps coming to me for emotional support (?), anyway I just feel he wants something out of me.

I know that i need to take extreme ownership of my life, but am just asking for some potential suggestions / resources that i could use to solve this

Thanks guys!

[Preety_India]

Complicated. You could choose to tell that person that you're busy. Or just avoid showing support so they won't come to you next time. 

 

[NoSelfSelf]

@March try giving him full attention for few minutes i mean full presence he will feel validated and stop being needy

[Preety_India]

 

1 hour ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@March try giving him full attention for few minutes i mean full presence he will feel validated and stop being needy

Needy people don't feel validated in one shot. They come back for more and more. 

It's like a feedback loop.like a sugar loop. You feed them sugar then they get addicted to it. They crave for more 

The best way is to rebuff strongly. Then they back off and don't piss that person too much. 

The other best way is to tell them straight to their face that they are needy. This is like showing them the mirror, that way they learn to self reflect on their behavior. 

[Byun Sean]

Help him to the extent you want to but remember to set healthy boundaries if you don't want to get sucked of too much of your time and energy.

You can only get sucked into a codependent relationship that you don't like if you allow yourself to.

 

Edited October 20, 2020 by Byun Sean

[Ananta]

54 minutes ago, Byun Sean said:

You can only get sucked into a codependent relationship that you don't like if you allow yourself to.

This ^

[Megan Alecia]

Use the interaction to learn more about yourself. Why am I being affected so much  by this needy person? Can this be used for inner work at all? 

The result may shock you.

Edited October 21, 2020 by Megan Alecia

[evgn]

6 hours ago, Preety_India said:

 

Needy people don't feel validated in one shot. They come back for more and more. 

It's like a feedback loop.like a sugar loop. You feed them sugar then they get addicted to it. They crave for more 

The best way is to rebuff strongly. Then they back off and don't piss that person too much. 

The other best way is to tell them straight to their face that they are needy. This is like showing them the mirror, that way they learn to self reflect on their behavior. 

Yeah thats right, i feel very needy with girls i like. Sometimes i might get jelous if my friends go out and nobody call me.

But it feels exatcly like that validation feels very good and after a while you start craving more and more.

[intotheblack]

Is it that he is too needy or are you too emotionally closed to let him in 

 

maybe he feels he can trust you and can be open with you?

Edited October 21, 2020 by intotheblack