Jono

Can other people be helped?

8 posts in this topic

This question has come across my mind 1000 times and all research tells me that it can't be done. I'm hoping that someone in this forum has some alternative ideas.

I have a loved once that could really benefit from personal development type work. There is a lot of suffering going on in their life, and many of their issues could be overcome by learning some simple life skills.


Has anyone here had any success in convincing someone to head along the path of personal development? 

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@Jono

From a law of attraction basis, one needing convincing remains one needing convincing. No thing, person, words or substance has got anything on mind. Mind will always ‘win’, even while one is ‘losing’. 


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On 9/24/2020 at 4:05 PM, Jono said:

This question has come across my mind 1000 times and all research tells me that it can't be done. I'm hoping that someone in this forum has some alternative ideas.

I have a loved once that could really benefit from personal development type work. There is a lot of suffering going on in their life, and many of their issues could be overcome by learning some simple life skills.


Has anyone here had any success in convincing someone to head along the path of personal development? 

I have had success with some people, yes. The people I've had success with were more of the easily persuaded & open minded type though. Someone who is stubborn about the idea right off the bat likely isn't ready to be helped. 

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I think a person should understand for himself what will be better for him. And choose the right path of your life. You can only help her, push her, advise her. But it all depends on the character of the person.
 

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Would it help to look at this the other way round? All of us here have embarked on a personal development (PD) path, which are very individual, and many of us started by trying to find a way out of chronic suffering. With many ups and downs, twists and turns, making many many of our own mistakes before learning from them. Why did you start? (That's rhetorical, don't tell us if you don't want). 

Be patient with your loved ones through their struggles, and support them though their self-defeating choices. Being that loving presence through thick and thin with just an occasional nudge towards PD works better in my experience than logical arguments and telling them I know what's good for them. But there's no guarantees, you need to know someone very well to understand why they persist in resisting growth. 

Welcome to the forum too, by the way :)

Edited by LarryW

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Its a safe and pessimistic outlook that people can't be helped. there's some truth to it though.

13 hours ago, LarryW said:

Be patient with your loved ones through their struggles, and support them though their self-defeating choices. Being that loving presence through thick and thin with just an occasional nudge towards PD works better in my experience than logical arguments and telling them I know what's good for them. But there's no guarantees, you need to know someone very well to understand why they persist in resisting growth. 

Welcome to the forum too, by the way :)

patience is a perhaps one estimate to determine how fickle someones love is. very few people actually change for the better and are happy with the bare minimum. growth is a tiring, wonky and complicated process and the kicker is that there are no guarantees. human minds are conservative and easily exhausted.

Its FAR more preferable to be raised well from a young age then it is to try and help yourself at an older age. get those good habits and hunger for knowledge when you're young just like Leo Gura and my IRL mentor. they don't realize how lucky they are to have that drive for truth and knowledge from a young age.

Edited by wk197

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@Jono

I used to be a fixer and try to get all my friends who were suffering into personal development. Some friends jumped onboard, some were mildly fascinated but did not take any action, yet some others did not give a fuck.

People will be ready when they are ready. Usually it comes at a point when they hit rock bottom and all their other ways of coping aren't working. Only then will they be open to something radical to change their life. 

 

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@Jono I think perserverence is the key here: keep spreading your message, at some point someone will listen to you.

Ultimely you'll never know who is gonna listen to you and more of that who is gonna implement what you are suggesting. 

People arevery different and they need help based on what stage they are in their life, the range is really wide. 

You can certanly study how to do this better, but don't expect that just by saying something one time you can change a person instantly and have a success rate of 100% with everyone. You just have to be patient and deliver the best message as you can everytime because you will never know who will going to listen you. 

When you will see how much you have done for just a single person when you'll have success once, it'll become addictive, it's beautiful.

I have these thoughs a lot and I have your same point of view about the suffering in the world. We need people like you so keep spreading love and awereness!!

hope that this has helped<3

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