Kazman

Understanding Nothingness on Weed

27 posts in this topic

44 minutes ago, Kazman said:

 

@Leo Gura I’ve read that book but didn’t think too much of his anxiety attack. Just re-read that passage, seems like his ego was struggling through its toss into the great abyss. 
Here it is, for fun:

MY LIFE HAD BEEN ALTERNATELY inching or leaping upward: I was proud of my job on the Smothers Brothers’ show. I had some cash. My sex life was abundant and selfish. Things were rolling along nicely when I experienced a crushing psychological surprise. One night I was off to the movies with my friends John McClure, George McKelvey, and his wife, Carole. We were going to see Mel Brooks’s The Producers, and we decided to smoke a little pot, which had become a dietary staple for me. So now I was high. In the car on the way to the theater, I felt my mind being torn from its present location and lifted into the ether. My discomfort intensified, and I experienced an eerie distancing from my own self that crystallized into morbid doom. I mutely waited for the feeling to pass. It didn’t, and I finally said, “I feel strange.” We got out of the car, and John, George, and Carole walked me along Sunset Boulevard in the night. I decided to go into the theater, thinking it might be distracting. During the film, I sat in stoic silence as my heart began to race above two hundred beats per minute and the saliva drained from my mouth so completely that I could not move my tongue. I assumed this was the heart attack I had been waiting for, though I wasn’t feeling pain. I was, however, experiencing extreme fear; I thought I was dying, and I can’t explain to you why I just sat there. After the movie, I considered checking myself in to a hospital. But if I went to the hospital, I would miss work the next day, which might make me expendable at CBS, where my career was just launching. My friends walked me along Sunset again, and I remember humming, “Whenever I feel afraid, I hold my head erect and whistle a happy tune” from The King and I. I spent the night on George and Carole’s couch in absolute terror. I kept wondering, “Am I dying?” but was more concerned with the question “Do I have to quit my job?” I survived the night and struggled in to work the next morning. I was not relieved, but I was calmer; I confessed to Bob Einstein what had happened and found that as soon as I discussed the symptoms, they arose again with full intensity. However, I somehow maintained my implacable façade. The cycle was unbreakable. Any relief was followed by the worry of recurrence, which itself provoked the symptoms. After a few weeks, a list of triggers developed. I couldn’t go back into a movie theater, and I didn’t for at least ten years. I never smoked pot again, or got involved in the era’s preoccupation with illicit substances (I’m sure this event helped me avoid the scourge of cocaine)

A classic normie reaction to a nondual/mystical experience.

That's how most ignorant teens react to a dose of psychedelics. It feels like death or madness so they try to forget it as quickly as possible and never peak behind that curtain again.

It takes a mature mind to appreciate such an excursion beyond material reality. 


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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33 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

That's how most ignorant teens react to a dose of psychedelics. It feels like death or madness so they try to forget it as quickly as possible and never peak behind that curtain again.

It takes a mature mind to appreciate such an excursion beyond material reality. 

OMG this is me.

And you know what? Im pretty glad to forget about all of this. LOL. 

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Understanding reality using science:

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"Beyond fear, destiny awaits" - Dune

 

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Hi all again!
So to follow up on this topic: what are your recommendations for me?
Leo talks about 50 psychedelic trips in his video about psychedelics. In my case, do you think one ganja-night qualifies as one trip?
About a week ago I smoked a pipe and had maybe my strongest awakening so far, it got me crying and laughing and shocked me several times.

I feel like it's happening without substance as well, meditation, inquiry, it's all getting super-boosted, I feel more like I'm channeling things and that I have more power to release suffering since I notice it much quicker when it occurs. I'm almost afraid to keep smoking. Should I stick to a once a week commitment for growth and understanding, or chill for a while ? I don't wanna stop but I'm afraid of the powerful effect it has over me.

I also worry that it's making my brain foggy, but it could also be a lack of mental activity that actually brings me MORE clarity. 

I'm feeling kind of alone and scared in all of this... as we all are. Thank you for your support.


Forget there’s anything to forget and remember there’s nothing to remember

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