Michael569

A Life of Purpose

246 posts in this topic

Latest vid ^_^


“If you find yourself acting to impress others, or avoiding action out of fear of what they might think, you have left the path.” ― Epictetus

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I've been going deeper with my childhood conditioning program than ever before. A long session of deep shadow work returned me to a place where I often experienced anxieties and insecurities as a child. Where I wasn't listened to and where my voice was ignored and not important. Now I could observe my old me anxious and every fearful. But this time I was there to guide him. 

Now I've reconnected with my 10-year-old me and together we put an end to a long strain of bad memories. We burned old stuff in an imaginary fire barrel outside in our backyard and we watched those memories, fake trophies and other pile of emotional garbage burn and lit out the entire backyard under a cold but cloud-less night sky.  A stone has lifted of my soul. I've helped him push over obstacles that he was neither strong nor conscious enough to deal with himself back then. We parted with a hug but not before he handed me a short written letter saying "thank you for doing this with me". I've been returning to that memory a lot lately in my meditations. It felt good to do that. 

I've pinned a memory of that event to my corkboard as a reminder. Ever-time I look at that picture, I get a small lump in my throat. I gues something really happened in that shadow session but time will show how profound it was. 

IMG_20211213_162432.jpg


“If you find yourself acting to impress others, or avoiding action out of fear of what they might think, you have left the path.” ― Epictetus

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 I've been spending ungodly amounts of time here, on Facebook, on Instagram and just circling from one platform to another while leaving the important work uncovered. I haven't been doing as much researching & blogging as I'd like to. I definitely haven't been reading as much as I need to and want to. I haven't put enough effort into more creative work, creating more material for my client and being a better practitioner. I also haven't ben dedicating as much time as I should to the childhood conditioning program I'm going through. 

Rapidly cutting down on social media is the way. And so until further notice I've decided to: 

  • Cut down forum usage to 2 visits per day neither exceeding 15 minutes 
  • Take a break from Facebook - logged out, deleted saved passwords, deleted the app 
  • Take a break from Instagram - logged out, deleted saved passwords, deleted the app 
  • Take a break from Twitter- logged out, deleted saved passwords, deleted the app 
  • Deleted Youtube app on the phone and cancelled Youtube Premium to prevent binging 
  • Netflix - No solo-streaming on my own. 

WHAT IS ALLOWED 

  • WhatsApp - to keep in touch with clients and friends 
  • Youtube -  ONLY for uploading new content once a week via PC and watching videos of the people in my YT accountability group. 
  • Viber - this shitty app is not a distraction but my family refuses to use WhatsApp for communication so I'll be keeping it. 
  • Some video gaming - this is a nerdy habit I am keeping for now. I like to play DayZ with a buddy of mine and it is a form of socialisation and catching up on a lot of interesting stuff since we both live on a different continent. For now, that stays in but I am limiting my gaming to DayZ only. 

And there goes the 15 minutes 


“If you find yourself acting to impress others, or avoiding action out of fear of what they might think, you have left the path.” ― Epictetus

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So far so good on the digital detox. 

I wake up without the neurotic need to do "the usual scroll" -> Facebook, Insta, WhatsApp, Forum & Youtube and check for updates. I wake up a bit more chilled and I'm not constantly looking around the platform checking for likes and comments. Visiting the forum twice a day for some quick update works well. 

I feel less tension in by belly from having cut the bottomless Instagram scroll out. Funny how some of these things can make us sick without us even realising it. 

I've started reading again. Went to a local charity shop, grabbed a few 1-pound books and am actually making a nice progress through them. 

It took me much less time to make the latest Youtube video although I'm not very proud of it and may at some point delete it, it's definitely the worse so far. Too long and too much distraction and unnecessary detail. I've tried a free version of Premier Pro  but my shit-ass computer is to weak to pull it off so for now I'm sticking with the old PowerDirector for editing although there's a lot that bothers me with that programme. I may be giving myself a late Christmas gift in Jan and buying new laptop, this old grandpa is slowly losing it. 

Flying back to Slovakia on Tuesday, so I expect levels of drama to rise once I reconnect with my family. But I'm also looking forward to spend some time in (hopefully snowy) mountains towards the end December and catching up with my high school buddies. Despite the drama every year Christmas time is usually pretty magical and beautiful so hopefully it won't be any different this year  


“If you find yourself acting to impress others, or avoiding action out of fear of what they might think, you have left the path.” ― Epictetus

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@Preety_India Thank You! :x

Does your family celebrate it? I'm asking because I actually know a few Indian families who do despite living in India because they kinda oscillate between UK & India and so they keep both Western and Eastern traditions which is kinda nice. And you're partially western-oriented as well so it wouldn't surprise me :)


“If you find yourself acting to impress others, or avoiding action out of fear of what they might think, you have left the path.” ― Epictetus

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@Preety_India That's so sweet! Well Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and your family as well ^_^


“If you find yourself acting to impress others, or avoiding action out of fear of what they might think, you have left the path.” ― Epictetus

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@Michael569 also check my garden pics in the same journal. I created a new garden for the first time. I'm so excited about gardening. I'm planning to grow my own organic farm with organic vegetables I wish to grow on my own. I think it's a fantastic idea. But first I need to start with a few plants and learn to manage that. I'm so excited about this new protect. It took me a week and 60 hours of work to assemble and set up all that. I worked like a dog on it. 

Let me know what you think. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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Fuck! I've slipped the past 2 days. Had a really nice momentum with staying off platforms until I allowed myself to binge on DayZ for 7 hours in the row yesterday, no clinical work done, no reading, no coaching prep even missed the deadline for a gift collection....ugh. All habits (and addictions) die hard,  I guess. That's alright moving on. Today will be a more productive day. 

Got a new client, a lady I helped with her pregnancy diabetes in May has recommended her friend to work with me who is trying to conceive unsuccessfully. While she is not my niche client, I am very excited about this opportunity to help somebody create a new life. Having worked with the other lady previously and then seeing her beautiful baby come to life with amazing health was a wonderful experience and I felt honoured to have been part of that despite the fact that she eventually had to go on Metformin for the last 2 weeks because diabetes got impossible to control with diet alone anymore but we still managed to delay metformin by 3 months so that was a small victory. 

I am very excited by this new opportunity once again. Decided to start with proper medical referral thou, she needs a bunch of blood work and examination done prior to us starting to work together to make sure we are not missing any elephant in the room. She seems motivated enough for now. Our first session took 4 hours...there was a lot to cover but hopefully we'll be able to make good progress for her. 


“If you find yourself acting to impress others, or avoiding action out of fear of what they might think, you have left the path.” ― Epictetus

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On 23/12/2021 at 8:51 AM, Preety_India said:

also check my garden pics in the same journal. I created a new garden for the first time. I'm so excited about gardening. I'm planning to grow my own organic farm with organic vegetables I wish to grow on my own. I think it's a fantastic idea. But first I need to start with a few plants and learn to manage that. I'm so excited about this new protect. It took me a week and 60 hours of work to assemble and set up all that. I worked like a dog on it. 

Let me know what you think.

Hey, sorry I missed this. We must have posted around a similar time. Looks amazing, small pots are great for learning how to care for individual plans. Likewise, I would one day like to have my own vegetable & fruit garden. It is a beautiful spiritual practice and has even been shown to prolong life and delay cognitive impairment. Not to mention getting pesticide-free crops. Good stuff, hope it'll go well for you 


“If you find yourself acting to impress others, or avoiding action out of fear of what they might think, you have left the path.” ― Epictetus

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I got all pesticide free crops from the organic store and I am using organic manure/fertilizer to enhance soil/soil enrichment. 

I'm using small pot for each plant. 

I have the following plants 

- spinach (new small sprouts have come today) it will take another 10 days for them to be visible. Right now it's kinda half cm 

- desert rose 

- Periwinkle 

- Oregano (big shoots and leaves have grown) 

- tulsi or holy basil (this is for religious purposes of Hindus, and it's used for cough/cold treatments, medicinal plant) 

- umbrella plant. This is a show plant. My mom calls it the marcel plant because it grew out of nowhere. 

These are enough for the time being. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

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@Preety_India beautiful :)

May be you should turn that into a youtube video. "How I started my tiny organic garden" And it would show you working on your plants and in the background have a voiceover where you'll talk about what you are doing, why, good practice tips etc. I can see that being pleasant to watch for sure 


“If you find yourself acting to impress others, or avoiding action out of fear of what they might think, you have left the path.” ― Epictetus

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New vid :)

Can't believe I stayed up till 2:30 am last night to finish editing this. Definitely need the hardware upgrade, the amount of time it takes to render a simple video like this on my laptop is staggering.


“If you find yourself acting to impress others, or avoiding action out of fear of what they might think, you have left the path.” ― Epictetus

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Because labor is cheap in India and we don't believe in capitalism and consumerism, I get a lot of herbal organic products at very cheap rates. Indians generally hate chemicals (our culture supports plants and herbs, we almost worship plants, I worship the holy basil plant every morning and evening), so a lot of Indian products are specifically made out of herbs and processed chemical and preservative free. Our scientists are always working on using the most safe natural preservatives so products are always safe on skin without losing their essential herbal benefits. 

So i use this moisturizer which is SLS paraben free and it's super cheap at 4 dollars. I even get Amazon discounts, discounts are huge in India. 

Maybe wherever you live, check out an Indian store or check Amazon. But if you're importing an Indian product it will be double price because of import duty etc. 

I ditched Proctor And Gamble long long ago. I knew all of this big big companies like Johnson and Johnson, P&G and the likes of them are nothing but a loot.. 

 

Give your dollar to a local smaller organic company. 

Use consumerism in a nature oriented way and ditch this horrible capitalism 

 

Picture of the moisturizer I use. It's an Indian company that sells locally to me. Not even expensive. Quite reasonable. It's even popular. I just added it to my cart. Picture taken from my local Amazon website. 

5zdu23.jpg

 

It also contains Shea butter, almond and saffron and smells like heaven... Go herbal. 

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand... Watch. 

 

... 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

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@Preety_India surprise surprise ?


“If you find yourself acting to impress others, or avoiding action out of fear of what they might think, you have left the path.” ― Epictetus

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Note to self: Do not use phone to record at poor light!!! It sucks at auto-adjusting the colour temperature. 

 


“If you find yourself acting to impress others, or avoiding action out of fear of what they might think, you have left the path.” ― Epictetus

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@Michael569 Get yourself one of those ring lights, usually marketed to beauty youtube gurus, seems kinda narcissistic and dumb but you can film anywhere, anytime and the camera will focus perfectly.  


My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

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12 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

Get yourself one of those ring lights, usually marketed to beauty youtube gurus, seems kinda narcissistic and dumb but you can film anywhere, anytime and the camera will focus perfectly.  

Thank you! I have one in the UK. I recorded this in my parent's home in Slovakia but it was a lesson learned for sure.


“If you find yourself acting to impress others, or avoiding action out of fear of what they might think, you have left the path.” ― Epictetus

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