I understand the demands of the military, I've seen it rip apart my own family. I grew up a military brat myself. My thing is, I don't blame him for the what the military has instilled in him, but there comes a time to be honest with yourself and when I ask him to please be open to self help and self knowledge , he is at first but then it's like the next day he didn't learn anything.....like he retained no information. I'm desperately trying to get him more involved in his own thoughts and his own self awareness but if he doesn't want to put in the effort then I'm not sticking around, you know.  He will have to figure this stuff out without me. Even being apart it's very hard for me to work on myself because when he's not busy in class ( he's still in a school)he's literally blowing up my phone. & I hate being on my devices all day, so I explain to him what would be healthy in this situation and he's still a clinger. Haha I'm hoping I can provide him with more resources when we are actually living together so he can get better help but if he's still wanting to be stuck, I'll be moving on. I realize I have way to much potential to just be a 3rd generation military wife. I definitely do not want to be my grandmother or my mother.