Practical ways to cultivate self-love?

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

One of my biggest problems (if not THE biggest problem) is my self-hatred. It's pretty intense. It makes me do things that slowly destroy myself, because that's what I really want. It's to destroy myself piece by piece. I used to cut myself, I used to constantly got black-out drunk, I actively and passively manipulate others (giving them bad impressions on purpose so that they hate me too) and doing other stupid things that ruin my life without really thinking about having to deal with the repercussions.

I'm looking for practical ways to cultivate some self-love now (ironically it's coming from a place of not being able to accept me the way I am right now too)

Some exercises, habits that I should cultivate or pretty much anything else that will help.

[Lyubov]

To be honest all that hate you hold on to is the hard stuff to do. It's hard to hate. Loving is easy. Try to keep an open mind about this. It's easy to love since it requires nothing, just being. To hate is what takes work. Take a breath and let go... Breathe in, "I welcome in this love", breathe out, "I let go of this hate." Go on youtube and look up "ho'oponopono." Do some of the guided exercises that come up to get you started. Set boundaries for yourself around ways in which you act out negatively and build discipline around following those boundaries and forgive quickly if you break them. Discipline is also a form of self love. 

 

[ToriVictoria]

Go right now and find beauty and perfection in flowers, trees, animals, clouds, etcetera...  Find  beauty and perfection in people that you are jealous of and dislike. Admit what  you are ashamed of and then practice laughing at yourself and letting go.  SEE the silliness in judging and hating and fearing.  SEE the easiness in love and BLISS.

Look in the mirror 6 times a day and kiss your lips. I am not joking.  SAY to your face, I LOVE YOU SEXY! and LAUGH and smile as you say it.  

I swear it works.  Don't think I am crazy.  Just try it and see after doing this for a week!

[alchemizt]

Saying "I LOVE YOU" to yourself regularly, it actually works, if your perceptive you can see your subconscious start finding reasons to love yourself, its one of these as within, as without things, the inner and the outer simultaneously shift towards loving yourself.

Saying "thank you", expressing (or impressing) gratitude for everything, this works really well too, sometimes if your struggling to love yourself, gratitude creates a bridge.

Using ho'ponono, saying "I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you" to yourself, this works. Sometimes things like guilt and shame are behind why we struggle to love ourselves.

Take opportunities to sacrifice yourself for the well being of others. It works. Act selflessly, do things to help others without wanting anything in return. Dedicate yourself to God.

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

Thank you guys, I appreciate the help! This is really helpful!

[RedLine]

Coherence between your instinct/believe are your actions.

For example, if you profoundly believe eat healthy is good for you and you are eating garbage every day, you are betrating yourself.

 

Also, when you cannot mantain this coherence you have to learn to forgive yourself. Man is imperfect by definition. Keep in mind that God is everything and "good" and "bad" behavior are both ok for God, he doesn't judge, the vice is also God, not only the virtue.

 

So summarizing: more taking action (less mental noise) and less judge

Edited August 11, 2020 by RedLine