Not achieving your life dreams

[dharm4]

This thread starts in this subforum, but I think it also builds a bridge to Meditation, Conciousness, Truth.

I'm 34 years old and ever since I finished university ( rather late around age 26) I worked on my life purpose.

I have a computer science degree, but I always loved music, computers, games, art. And I still create music, games, art, software.

But I was never able to combine them all to support myself financially.

I have release commercial games, but they only sold ~1000 copies so far. Not enough to make a living.

I'm currently working in software development and it's a cool  job (AI and autonomous driving), but I feel something is missing.

 I realize I'm waiting for the future to make me happy (it's a trap).

"When I make a financially successful game, I will be happy"

I do realize happiness is found in the NOW, but I still battle with my "future self".

Can/Should I give up my dream do be a successful artist/developer/entrepreneur?

I feel like I worked so much on my success and conciousness, but I never had a serious relationship, lived life like a "normal person".

Can I be happy without achieving my dreams? Should I only focus on living the normal person life and have a family?

I'm not sure, but i feel it would make me more happy.

 

Edited July 24, 2020 by dharm4
spelling

[cnfvm]

5 minutes ago, dharm4 said:

 I realize I'm waiting for the future to make me happy (it's a trap).

wrong. classical "spiritual" delusion.

your idea that it's a trap is a trap. 

proof: when you are hungry, you are thinking about eating , that is in future, and that makes you happy when you accomplish it.

7 minutes ago, dharm4 said:

I do realize happiness is found in the NOW, but I still battle with my "future self".

wrong. when you are miserable living in poverty, all you think is geting to a place where you can keep yourself warm.

[dharm4]

8 minutes ago, cnfvm said:

wrong. classical "spiritual" delusion.

your idea that it's a trap is a trap. 

proof: when you are hungry, you are thinking about eating , that is in future, and that makes you happy when you accomplish it.

wrong. when you are miserable living in poverty, all you think is geting to a place where you can keep yourself warm.

Personally, I wouldn't compare basic human needs like eating with non-essential needs like success.

Also: I'm not poor, but I have experienced not being able to pay my rent. This is not the same.

Wanting Success or wanting Survival are two differnt things.

Edited July 24, 2020 by dharm4

[cnfvm]

Just now, dharm4 said:

Personally, I wouldn't compare basic human needs like eating with non-essential needs like success.

Also: I'm not poor, but I have experienced not being able to pay my rent. This is not the same.

Wanting Success or wanting Survival are two differnt things.

success is passion. no body wants to become successful without underlying passion. even if it is %100 survival based.

you are already in NOW whatever you do. even if you are delusional or "enlightened".

question is what are you gonna do?

 

[dharm4]

6 minutes ago, cnfvm said:

you are already in NOW whatever you do. even if you are delusional or "enlightened".

question is what are you gonna do?

 

Yes, everyone always lives in the NOW. But most people are asleep,they don't realize it. They are trapped in the future or past.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do, I'm still figuring it out.

[cnfvm]

1 minute ago, dharm4 said:

Yes, everyone always lives in the NOW. But most people are asleep,they don't realize it. They are trapped in the future or past.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do, I'm still figuring it out.

nobody can be trapped in future or past, logically it is impossible.  

"they" just want to find friendships.  which is cute.

 

 

[allislove]

3 hours ago, dharm4 said:

Can I be happy without achieving my dreams?

When you are happy all of your dreams actualizing.

[Member]

Haven't you tried working as a freelancer in the software niche?

[dharm4]

1 hour ago, cnfvm said:

nobody can be trapped in future or past, logically it is impossible.  

"they" just want to find friendships.  which is cute.

 

 

I don't know what you are saying. But it seems like are are trapped in the past/future

[Dimi]

1 hour ago, dharm4 said:

Wanting Success or wanting Survival are two differnt things.

They both come from wanting You think something (this or that) will complete you while it is not like that, how you feel can be a conscious choice, not determined by "outside" results or situations but from within You can be as blissed out with a family as you would being successful, you might have tendencies and so on which are OK, above all, question yourself why what you have and what you are now isn't enough? What makes you want something else?

The content doesn't really matter, if you base essential choices on content you will be "stuck" in/with content and there is an infinite amount of content

You should define more principal/core targets instead of content, this should be more in feeling than in thought although everyone is different so you are going to need to analyze that for yourself. What I mean with "principal/core targets" and content is exactly what Leo explains in this video:

 

[dharm4]

51 minutes ago, Member said:

Haven't you tried working as a freelancer in the software niche?

Actually, yes. I did VR visualitation tools for small clients, but only for ~6 months.

[cnfvm]

11 minutes ago, dharm4 said:

I don't know what you are saying. But it seems like are are trapped in the past/future

they are not , they choose , because they are desperate to solve such hard tasks. so they constantly imagine, and try to remember past.

if it is desperation, it is because of a passion.

but  unhealthy passion.

[Artsu]

Your life's purpose is getting rich? Why not helping others?

[Member]

@Artsu nothing wrong with getting rich and he can help others with his money.

[Heaven]

True satisfaction with life comes from within. That's an understanding from my personal experience and also Leo mentioned it in his last video.
Once you are happy, the achievement of your goal will be more like a play/dance/"lila" rather than a problem.
Question your wants. Don't judge yourself too hard. From our experience we live in a human body. So we want to survive. 

 When u find out that most of our motives come from dissatisfaction with what is, your primary goal will be acceptance(If you're looking to be happy).

Hope it helps <3 

[Setzer901]

I'm currently trying to balance both achieving my goals as well as being happy with where I am now. I tend to get very anal about achieving my goals and I end up feeling like I'm climbing a never-ending hill.

I believe the solution is to be grateful for what you have in life. Try to find play in the work you do as well as accept and love your current state.

[Leo Gura]

On 7/24/2020 at 11:52 AM, dharm4 said:

Can/Should I give up my dream do be a successful artist/developer/entrepreneur?

I feel like I worked so much on my success and conciousness, but I never had a serious relationship, lived life like a "normal person".

Can I be happy without achieving my dreams? Should I only focus on living the normal person life and have a family?

I'm not sure, but i feel it would make me more happy.

Of course only you can decide those things for yourself. It's a matter of your highest values, desires, and priorities.

In general I would say, don't give up on your dreams. But you have to be creative about how you go about them. Don't just keep doing the same old thing if it's not working. You must find new ways of pursuing your dreams, or perhaps adapting your dreams slightly.

No achievement will ever make you happy, but at the same time, not following your dreams will make you miserable.

Maybe you can take a couple years to work on your social life before you jump back into business? You don't want to work so long that you never have a social life.

34 is still pretty young. If you plan things out properly you should be able to get a girlfriend and then work on your biz.

But don't waffle around. Get clear about what you want and what order you want it in.

[dharm4]

@Leo Gura Thanks for the reply, watched your Requisite Variety Video yesterday. It gave me some inspiration/insights.

[remember]

On 24.7.2020 at 9:24 PM, dharm4 said:

Yes, everyone always lives in the NOW. But most people are asleep,they don't realize it. They are trapped in the future or past.

if the now is perceived as a trap.

if people would forget past and future entirely do you feel there was even a now? 

there are def bodies trapped in the past and the future. we call it life line, some people like to poke around in it meddle with it or cut it.

[hyruga]

We will never achieve our life dreams...because we/you change target all the time. 

For example, if you are a YouTuber, you will aim for 1k subscribers first, then 5k, then 10k, 100k, 250k, 500k, 1 mil. Then 2 mil. 

Or you would tell yourself oh I have reached 100k sub but most people have much much more so 100k subscribers is not that much of a big deal anymore?

Same for money and many other things.

Edited July 29, 2020 by hyruga