Forrest Adkins

How to deal with rejection because of Looks?

42 posts in this topic

I have a lot of rejections from girls in real life but also on an online dating platform where I usually  get blocked whenever I reveal my photos. How do you not let that get to yourself? I mean you have to be real with yourself that you start with a huge handicap, I'm already 30 and it feels so hopeless at times.

Looks wise Ive done everythig I can (good clothes & fit)

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Then dont focus too much on online dating. Also good clothes & fit is a nice start. But the pictures have to be good otherwise as well. If its just selfies you can improve that as well. Do they tell a story about you? Do they show your personality in a positive way?

How do you know you get rejected in real life from your looks, I think you are telling that to yourself mostly. Work on your mindset.

Edited by universe

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33 minutes ago, Forrest Adkins said:

Looks wise Ive done everythig I can (good clothes & fit)

Are you sure about that? What you think looks good and what girls think looks good are two totally different things.

Consider getting some help from female friends or family, or spending some money hiring a dating coach or professional stylist/photographer.


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I know how it sucks to not like some part of yourself (looks, a part of your personality, etc.) so I get how frustrating it is, because you can't do much about it. I mean, you can get in shape, etc., but it will be hard to change your face if you don't like it. Actually, IMO that wouldn't really solve the problem, unless it's the only insecurity you have. Usually, people who get plastic surgery to change some part of their body, don't heal their insecurities and just find a new thing to be ashamed of. 

I prefer a deeper and longer lasting solution, which requires accepting yourself as you are. Easier said than done, but it can certainly at the very least get better. 

Therapy can be really helpful in this process. 

Good luck!

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1 hour ago, Forrest Adkins said:

I have a lot of rejections from girls in real life but also on an online dating platform where I usually  get blocked whenever I reveal my photos. How do you not let that get to yourself? I mean you have to be real with yourself that you start with a huge handicap, I'm already 30 and it feels so hopeless at times.

Looks wise Ive done everythig I can (good clothes & fit)

How that happens? Do you send them photos and they just instantly block you?

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@Leo Gura easier said then done. took me a few hours walking around my home town to build up the courage to say hi to a girl and after that I was like now what, so I said I leave you too it. xD I'm thinking of tripping balls, might get lucky and experience ego death which in turn might just help me a little with approach anxiety. 

do you reckon something like that would work? 

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2 minutes ago, Abhishaik said:

easier said then done. took me a few hours walking around my home town to build up the courage to say hi to a girl and after that I was like now what, so I said I leave you too it.

So?

Now do that 5000 times.

You guys here are way too damn lazy. You want hot girls for free. Well, that will never happen.

Roll up your sleeves and get to work. Become a man. Right now you are a child.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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I know am a lazy bastard who was pretty much born with a silver spoon up my ass. I really just wish this was something out there to make it easier. I set my mind on something and then I quickly lose motivation. 

Tbh I feel a little scared with were my life is currently going,  in terms of life purpose, enlightenment and relationships and I don't know how am going to fix this. how am I going to build the work ethic to achieve any of this. 

someday I would like to think I'll do more approaches. 

Edited by Abhishaik

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9 minutes ago, Abhishaik said:

I really just wish this was something out there to make it easier.

Don't wish for life to be easier. Wish yourself to get stronger.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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@Forrest Adkins

1 hour ago, Forrest Adkins said:

I have a lot of rejections from girls in real life but also on an online dating platform where I usually  get blocked whenever I reveal my photos. How do you not let that get to yourself? I mean you have to be real with yourself that you start with a huge handicap, I'm already 30 and it feels so hopeless at times.

Looks wise Ive done everythig I can (good clothes & fit)

   Me too. Not just from online dating, but while doing cold approaches. Getting rejected face-to-face is a real Ouchy, so go with the cold approaches more if you can. Not only is my ugliness a handicap, but  my past female trauma made it very challenging to sustain a date. It's one thing to have approach anxiety, but another to restrain my hate, like a balancing rope. As a man, you must face that hopelessness head on, with each woman you meet. I don't even go for one night stands, I torture myself by just talking to them, and friend zoning them. 

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By going out a lot, you stop caring about rejection.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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wow, I just posted on this topic a couple of days ago with little response. thanks guys I really feel valued..  but seriously I talked to my therapist about it and she suggested I write a mass letter to every girl who rejected me stating my feelings about how I felt then burning or deleting it. Very healthy indeed. try it. Also, you're not ugly you feel ugly because people told you that. No human being in their right mind would call themselves ugly on purpose to hurt themselves. Write a letter to people who called you ugly too. PM for details or help 

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Why not go to out at a party, nightclub or a rave party late at night to approach girls. I think that is easier to do then just random day time approach. 

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There are four main ways in which you can meet women:

- online

- night game

- daygame

- socially

Pick the one that caters to YOUR strengths. If looks aren't your strength, obviously online dating isn't for you. Just delete all those apps and forget about it. Focus on meeting girls face to face.

Now, are you more introverted or extroverted? If you're more of an introvert, go for daygame. This means you approach women during the day, anywhere you want: a bus stop, the streets, a coffee shop, a library, a supermarket, etc. You don't need high energy, you don't need friends, you don't need money, all you need is skill. You obtain this skill by practicing a lot, which is the advice you got from Leo.

If you're extroverted, both night game or social game are where it's at for you. If you have plenty of friends and are a leader, people listen to you and you organize events, parties, stuff like that, then for you it's social game. Girls will flock to you that way.

If you're just a fun guy but not a leader of men, then night game is for you. Go out to bars and clubs and approach women.

Whichever you pick, just stick to it and become good at it. You will suck in the beginning. So what? How does anybody ever learn anything? By sucking in the beginning. Then try again and again until you no longer suck.


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If you got decent game, about 1/3 of girls should hate you, 1/3 should love you, and 1/3 should be indifferent to you.

Train yourself to only care about the right 1/3.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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If you have no confidence in yourself, you are twice defeated in the race of life. But with confidence you have won, even before you start.” -- Marcus Garvey

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I know leo said you should maybe try doing pickup up 5000 times, but instead of doing that why not just improve your appearance ? You can go to the gym and improve your body, eat healthier food and get better grooming habits. If you do this you wont have to go out and talk to 5000 women, thats a big waste of time. Its not worth it. Focus on your goal, your passion and your self improvement. Women will come to you and if they dont you can go to them and it will be a lot easier. You don't even have to take them out on dates, invite them straight over. And if they try to play games and waste time, then go to other women. You need an abundance mindset (not only with women but with everything) 

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15 hours ago, Don Wei said:

You can go to the gym and improve your body, eat healthier food and get better grooming habits. If you do this you wont have to go out and talk to 5000 women, thats a big waste of time. Its not worth it.

Haha! That won't work! If that worked, that's what I would tell you to do.

What you misunderstand is that women aren't attracted by looks, they are attracted by a strong masculine persona, which you cannot fake through any external material modifications.

See, you are trying to trick women into being attracted to the weak guy that you are, and you think that will work. And what I'm telling you is that won't work, and you should attract them legitimately by actually turning yourself into a strong masculine persona.

But you want to cheat women. You think it will work. Well, good luck.

It doesn't matter how good you look, if your game sucks, you will not get good women.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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