Nick_98

Why do people argue ?

31 posts in this topic

I don't think I have ever had a single argument in my whole life . I can't seem to quite understand this part..

Usually when someone have a different point of view than mine , I just follow it with an " Ok " . 

Why do people argue ? What's the point of it ? What does it serve ? 

 

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Well, a lot of my arguments started when people attack me or when they misunderstand my position. It’s usually me trying to “explain” what I meant or me getting angry and responding to personal attacks.

One mistake I make is thinking I’m engaging in a discussion when I’m actually engaging in an argument with a closed minded person. 

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In most cases, people don't make the conscious choice to get into fights, so there is usually no deliberate calculated intent behind it. People are just letting their emotions get the best of them. There always seems to be some emotional attachment to ideas involved. When two people who are ideologically opposed get into a heated argument, it can quickly become a fight. It's not a deliberate choice. It just happens.

Edited by Peter-Andre

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47 minutes ago, Nick_98 said:

Why do people argue ?

Because they disagree.

47 minutes ago, Nick_98 said:

What's the point of it ?

To come to a common agreement.

48 minutes ago, Nick_98 said:

What does it serve ? 

Serves the Ego to prove itself right. 

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2 minutes ago, JosephKnecht said:

Because they disagree.

To come to a common agreement.

Serves the Ego to prove itself right. 

Ok

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2 minutes ago, Nick_98 said:

Ok

Just curious, when you say OK, do you agree with the arguments or just say OK to avoid arguing? :) 

 

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2 minutes ago, JosephKnecht said:

Just curious, when you say OK, do you agree with the arguments or just say OK to avoid arguing? :) 

 

The latter. 

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32 minutes ago, Nick_98 said:

The latter. 

So if your friend wants to go to the movies with you, and you want to play video games with your friend, what do you do? 

You can't play video games at the movies. 

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@JosephKnecht I would just reject giving a reason. If he doesn't get it , that's on him. I do not indulge in an argument over it. 

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I believe it is because humans have a subconscious fear of death and that shows itself in the 'ego' where they desire to assert their identity, so when it's attacked they react violently.

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4 minutes ago, Raze said:

I believe it is because humans have a subconscious fear of death and that shows itself in the 'ego' where they desire to assert their identity, so when it's attacked they react violently.

good point

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Survival.


Intrinsic joy is revealed in the marriage of meaning and being.

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That is how we learn. We simulate a real fight and learn to find better arguments (weapons)

Otherwise chances are you are living in your own fantasy. In reality you have no status which is bad for survival in some cases. For the more developed you might live in your epicurean safe space garden. I am a fan of that.

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Some people like to use their viewpoints to influence the world around them. Often this means you need good arguments, and you can strengthen your arguments or upgrade to a better viewpoint through debates.

If you mean why do people argue as opposed to debating, that's like asking why people are close minded. They want their belief to take force then and there, but no one's really looking to get on anyone's side. The pressure builds and something can break.

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12 hours ago, Nick_98 said:

@JosephKnecht I would just reject giving a reason. If he doesn't get it , that's on him. I do not indulge in an argument over it. 

Yes. But do you get your friend? 

You can't always get your way, and you can't always accept the way of others. 

Arguments are sometimes necessary to find the middle way. 

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How would you proceed if someone told you one of your behaviors is bothering them?

Replying ok?

Edited by Espaim

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26 minutes ago, Espaim said:

How would you proceed if someone told you one of your behaviors is bothering them?

Replying ok?

Something tells me he has been living a should we say sheltered life.


Intrinsic joy is revealed in the marriage of meaning and being.

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18 hours ago, Akemrelax said:

Well, a lot of my arguments started when people attack me or when they misunderstand my position. It’s usually me trying to “explain” what I meant or me getting angry and responding to personal attacks.

One mistake I make is thinking I’m engaging in a discussion when I’m actually engaging in an argument with a closed minded person. 

Also recognize how the person you're talking to is thinking the exact same thing.


Intrinsic joy is revealed in the marriage of meaning and being.

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19 hours ago, Nick_98 said:

Usually when someone have a different point of view than mine , I just follow it with an " Ok " . 

Why do people argue ? What's the point of it ? What does it serve ? 

Arguing for one’s position is a form of control.

When you say “Ok” and let it go, you are surrendering one form of control and gaining another form of control.

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@Forestluv Or let's say when you say Ok and let it go, you are surrendering a limited form of control and gaining an infinite one. 


If you have no confidence in yourself, you are twice defeated in the race of life. But with confidence you have won, even before you start.” -- Marcus Garvey

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