Pick up or Life purpose first

[onacloudynight]

I'm really torn between these two. I'm working towards my life purpose but I'm getting distracted with these sexual cravings. I'm not sure what is the wisest solution. I live in a moderate sized city, so game is possible but not ideal. I'm wondering if I should hold off until I get some financial independence 

[Applegarden]

I would say life purpose; you will by default spend more time working than picking up or are already. Every hour in your work you will feel dragged if its hostile, meaningless and will cause boredom. Meaninglesness will eat every corner of your being and no pleasure will fill that. But providing value and being creative, innovative, sharp in your making a living thing is superb IMO. And i think you will learn alot from both regardless, however life purpose for sure. It's just such a big part of your life - that what you are doing.

[Roy]

Life purpose and self-actualization first. If you get other parts of your life handled prior it will be much easier to do dating and pick-up, you will be much more attractive and high value right from the get go.

[Zak]

You can actually do both at the same time. Don't ignore your sexual need and energy. Don't... don't be too drunk of anything. Just be wise and conscious while having your life purpose and all the other stuff in mind. You will get too bored chasing only your life purpose. The only way you can go for your life purpose is you moving to a forest living in a cave. Be always conscious what you are doing, but keep the other things in a moderate way.

[universe]

How old are you and what is your experience with girls so far? Why do you think financial independence has anything to do with this?

[Danioover9000]

   It would depend on what stage of the spiral you're at, what moral, cognitive, and lines of development you are at.

   Also, knowing what you are as a personality type. The more you know and refine, the better.

   I suggest pretending there's a scale with a pendulum. Which way is it swinging now? Life purpose or dating? Adjust yourself.

   Also, try to infuse this sexual craving into your life purpose.

[onacloudynight]

5 hours ago, universe said:

How old are you and what is your experience with girls so far? Why do you think financial independence has anything to do with this?

I am 22 years old. I have had minor relationships in the past, never lasted long. I have only slept with 1 girl. So only minor experience, but not a complete lack of experience.

Well currently I live with my parents so my logistical situation isn't ideal for pulling girls. If i had financial independence I could move to a better city for game and potentially have free time to work on game without getting distracted with money and paying bills.

[Roy]

26 minutes ago, onacloudynight said:

Well currently I live with my parents so my logistical situation isn't ideal for pulling girls.

Don't let this become a limiting belief. In this economic climate most people around that age are living with their parents if they aren't in college or uni full time.

So that means a lot of the girls you're probably going to meet will be in the same boat as you.

[Leo Gura]

LP by day, pickup by night.

Move to a bigger city when you can afford it.

Remember, pickup doesn't have to take up your whole day. You can go out for 2-3 hours every Fri, Sat, Sun. You can do day game in the afternoons on weekends.

[Kiko]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

LP by day, pickup by night.

Move to a bigger city when you can afford it.

Remember, pickup doesn't have to take up your whole day. You can go out for 2-3 hours every Fri, Sat, Sun. You can do day game in the afternoons on weekends.

Okay, but what if you are working full time job and your LP requires working on it after work?

[Leo Gura]

@Kiko Then you will have to priortize and space things out over some years.

[Hello from Russia]

If in doubt, prioritize the LP. The quality of your interactions with girls will be highly diminished if you don't follow your LP

[flowboy]

Do you care about fucking lots of girls, or do you just want to meet someone so that you're no longer distracted by the desire?

If the latter, you might try the One Approach A Day approach - which is exactly what it sounds like. This way you're still improving, but not in huge chunks of time. Who knows, you might meet someone pretty quick.

If there is self-esteem issues holding you back, there are more time-efficient ways to fix those than just massive going out.

Edited July 10, 2020 by flowboy

[Espaim]

I'm 19 and on the same boat. What I plan to do is just to hit LP as much as possible till I'm 22 and then start going out. Until then, I'll not be serious about it. I don't want to fuck a lot of girls, I just want to have a girlfriend.

[omartheman]

If you can go ahead and enjoy life without having women in it, and your life purpose is a priority over that, then maybe you could do life purpose first. I don't think I could just focus on a life purpose without any women in my life. Not having any women or sex, my mind is totally consumed with the thought of women. It is even when they are in my life, but at least if I have a girlfriend I can keep it at bay while working on myself.

I did it in this order: Figured out a way to earn income where I could still be learning and growing in some way (by dicking around in college for 7 years, and finally dropping out and becoming a web developer). Worked to get pickup to a decent level and found a girlfriend. Now focusing on life purpose work since I am still with my girlfriend.

At best, if I had no girlfriend I would split them up. I would work on life purpose while also going out a couple nights a week. But it's up to you of course. If you can tolerate living without women. You don't even need to be getting laid all the time or anything, but I would at least want to go out and be talking to girls and increasing my social skills. Not having any romantic interaction with women at all for months and months is a fucking bullshit way to live in my opinion. 

Last time I was trying to work on figuring out a life purpose while also doing pickup. I paid someone named Dain Miller to get some coaching advice for my programming career. He told me to go and sit down and figure out what the one thing I wanted to focus on in life right now was. I realized that it was unquestionably girls. I had been waiting years and years to be done with college and earning income so I could finally do pickup every day. 

I was starting to show some great results after about 1 year of focusing on pickup, the last 6 months of those was going out every single night. Having a girlfriend is great, but i do miss going out. Was doing an open relationship at the start, but the fire to go out and hit up women has tuned down since having a great girlfriend in my life. SO I guess this is a good time to focus on building up other areas of life. Haven't really wanted to go out that much since getting a GF, even though I moved to New York where she lives, and that's one of the best places in the USA to go beast mode doing pickup. (I was in New Orleans before, which was still pretty good but lacked an easily accessible online community).

That's my take on it.