Making 'Pick Up' Conscious

[LfcCharlie4]

Hey, 

I wanted to start this discussion about making 'Pick Up' a more conscious part of life. 

As we all know, a lot of PU is stage Orange at best and involves a lot of manipulation and lying. 

I want this to be a discussion on how you can make these teachings way more conscious. 

Firstly, I think the name 'Pick Up' is pretty shitty, a better name would be 'Dating & Attraction' or something like that, I feel. 

Instead of teaching guys how to manipulate Women, the focus should be on firstly, how to develop your social and communication skills naturally so that you can actually hold conversations with the opposite sex, without relying on canned lines or 'routines' if you look at guys who are 'naturals' it looks well, natural, not like some dancing monkey that a lot of PUAs look like. This would involve teaching the fundamentals such as talking, tonality, eye contact, conversation skills, physicality, leading, flirting etc, pretty much the basics of interacting like a human being, instead of a creep. This would of course involve overcoming approach anxiety, which is what holds a lot of guys back. 

Also, I believe the focus should be on becoming the best person you can be, instead of simply using tricks and tactics to manipulate the situation. This would been developing all areas of life such as career/ business, health/ fitness, Spirituality, hobbies etc, and just becoming a well rounded awesome person that doesn't actually need gimmicks to attract Women, but can do so by being someone people want to be around, I see this as a much more holistic approach. 

Taking care of yourself- This is essentially learning proper hygiene, getting a haircut, shaving, developing your fashion, taking care of your body etc etc, basically just becoming presentable and the best looking version of yourself. I get attraction is beyond looks, but attraction is of course still pretty key, no need to get hung up here like some guys do, just do what you can and move on. 

Developing Connections with people- Instead of seeing Women as sexual objects, start treating them as people, and developing connections. This doesn't mean you have to marry every girl you approach, it just means it's not ALL about Sex, but actually about developing a connection first before you simply try to get the Women into bed, also, I think everyone knows sex is infinitely better with people you have a connection with.

Sex- Last point, but don't make this about yourself. Sexuality is a beautiful expression of the divine, not a race to see who can finish first. Realize this and please take your time with each Women and treat them like the Goddess they are, not a piece of meat! Some great guys for learning about this are 'Don of Desire' he has some very fundamental videos on this topic! Mastering sex is a very fundamental part of this journey imo, especially if you want to see a girl again! 

What else would you guys add to this? 

This discussion was sparked as I am now single again, and getting back into the dating game, some of the guys I've been watching are very stage orange but have some good teachings to offer, but It's just about making them much more conscious instead of what you typically see in the so called 'Pick Up' community. 

I feel learning dating and attraction is of course essential for those who want to, but can be done in a way that doesn't involve endless manipulation and what not, and instead can be a holistic pursuit of becoming the best version of yourself and massively improving your Social skills. 

[Moon]

19 minutes ago, LfcCharlie4 said:

I feel learning dating and attraction is of course essential for those who want to, but can be done in a way that doesn't involve endless manipulation and what not, and instead can be a holistic pursuit of becoming the best version of yourself and massively improving your Social skills. 

Yeah, I don't know much about pickup but the most attractive/confident/funny guys I've seen are able to socialize well with anyone and aren't trying hard to "pick up" but they'll end up getting girls effortlessly just by being social and putting themselves out there without desperate neediness of wanting sex as the outcome 

Edited June 17, 2020 by Moon

[LfcCharlie4]

Precisely. 

It's a natural interaction, they know how to flirt, how to escalate, how to add humerus sexuality into the conversation etc. 

To me, 'Pick Up' is simply helping you do this in a refined way. Most of the best PUAs seem to come from a completely introverted, anxiety ridden childhood, I guess that's where a lot of the drive comes from. Kinda like how a lot of spiritual teachers are motivated by the extreme suffering. (I know I was!) 

 

[nistake]

Great idea. This is what actual "pick-up" is supposed to be.

[LfcCharlie4]

@nistake Couldn’t agree more, instead of faking it, go on a journey to become the man you truly know you can be, while simultaneously learning the social, flirting and sexual skills (game). 
 

But, becoming that man takes a lot of work- most guys in the PUA industry are very broke, don’t have any discipline for even a gym routine, so this is the “easy” way, even though approaching isn’t necessarily easy at all.

[JosephKnecht]

2 hours ago, LfcCharlie4 said:

Firstly, I think the name 'Pick Up' is pretty shitty, a better name would be 'Dating & Attraction' or something like that, I feel. 

Instead of Pick up, the industry should be renamed to Lift up. 

Instead of picking up the qualities that you are missing from the other (confidence, beauty, security, etc). Try to lift them up with the qualities you have.

Pick up is a game where you try to gain something from the other. Lift up is a game where you try to give something to the other. 

You have to learn to play the right game. 

[LfcCharlie4]

@JosephKnecht Great answer! 
 

Become someone who can always be giving and sharing love with those you interact with, and actually offer them incredibly value by being in your company! 

[Lyubov]

You will make it concious when you start to go full circle in this domain and realize 90% of all PUA stuff is just dream garbage and BS and you were able to feel completely satisfied in this domain and get the results you wanted when you just started loving yourself. 

[LfcCharlie4]

@Lyubov I agree, most of the stuff is built on the premise of selling a dream, a bit like most marketing, but won’t admit what it takes to actually get there. 
 

Only take advice from people who have the results you want! 
 

Self-Love is the number 1 answer! How can you expect someone else to love “you” when you don’t even love yourself? 
 

Also, it allows you to actually be outcome dependent and not-needy, like most thinfs its very paradoxical’

[Lyubov]

5 minutes ago, LfcCharlie4 said:

@Lyubov I agree, most of the stuff is built on the premise of selling a dream, a bit like most marketing, but won’t admit what it takes to actually get there. 
 

Only take advice from people who have the results you want! 
 

Self-Love is the number 1 answer! How can you expect someone else to love “you” when you don’t even love yourself? 
 

Also, it allows you to actually be outcome dependent and not-needy, like most thinfs its very paradoxical’

Yup

And then literally the rest is just.... duhhh going out and being social or capitalizing on opportunities already presentin ones life. 

I can see someone maybe benefiting from some sort of social training if they have autism but even then that's bullshit because they will just be a fake version of themselves trying to attract someone who isn't into the real them. 

all this domain does is mirror back how much you love and know yourself ... if you love yourself and have the desire to experience women you will most definitely experience plenty of women... not just any woman but ones that align with your values and your level of truthfulness or falsehood. 

Edited June 17, 2020 by Lyubov

[LfcCharlie4]

20 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

Yup

And then literally the rest is just.... duhhh going out and being social or capitalizing on opportunities already presentin ones life. 

I can see someone maybe benefiting from some sort of social training if they have autism but even then that's bullshit because they will just be a fake version of themselves trying to attract someone who isn't into the real them. 

all this domain does is mirror back how much you love and know yourself ... if you love yourself and have the desire to experience women you will most definitely experience plenty of women... not just any woman but ones that align with your values and your level of truthfulness or falsehood. 

 

I agree to an extent. 
 

But, you also have to understand how uncalibrated some people are, as in they are so anxious they can’t even talk to males, they have no idea how to flirt, how to build investment, how to have a normal conversation. 

So, I think there’s a case for mastering the fundamentals, although this doesn’t take years. But, to help you become a naturally social person like I said, not just a canned person, but authentically being you, free of anxiety and what not. 
 

Yeah, I also think there’s some technical teachings needed, like how to effectively set up an online game profile, what to say to overcome certain objections, what to do when X, Y & Z happens, and then it’s just refinement. 
 

But, yes it’s overall becoming your authentic natural self, while refining the technical aspects, and Learning things like sexual mastery etc 

[Bazooka Jesus]

2 hours ago, LfcCharlie4 said:

But, you also have to understand how uncalibrated some people are, as in they are so anxious they can’t even talk to males, they have no idea how to flirt, how to build investment, how to have a normal conversation.

Dude, you aint kidding. I have been watching some pick up seminar videos on Youtube in the past (these days I am waaaay too preoccupied with tripping and meditating to be chasing after skirts); and whenever I heard one of those guys ask their audience "Come on guys, do you ever run out of things to say when you’re hanging out and kicking the shit with your buddies?", I always thought "Uuuuummm, yes, as a matter of fact I do. All. The. Fucking. Time. What, is it really just me?!". LOL

Anyway, what you described in the OP is basically the business model / philosophy of The Natural Lifestyles. Do you know their Youtube channel(s)? My favorite dude among them was Tony Solo, but he just flat out vanished and went off into the wilderness some time ago; haven’t got the faintest idea what on god’s green earth he is up to these days. Probably chilling in some remote Ashram on some overclouded Himalayan mountain top!

[Onemanwolfpac]

6 hours ago, LfcCharlie4 said:

Hey, 

I wanted to start this discussion about making 'Pick Up' a more conscious part of life. 

As we all know, a lot of PU is stage Orange at best and involves a lot of manipulation and lying. 

I want this to be a discussion on how you can make these teachings way more conscious. 

Firstly, I think the name 'Pick Up' is pretty shitty, a better name would be 'Dating & Attraction' or something like that, I feel. 

Instead of teaching guys how to manipulate Women, the focus should be on firstly, how to develop your social and communication skills naturally so that you can actually hold conversations with the opposite sex, without relying on canned lines or 'routines' if you look at guys who are 'naturals' it looks well, natural, not like some dancing monkey that a lot of PUAs look like. This would involve teaching the fundamentals such as talking, tonality, eye contact, conversation skills, physicality, leading, flirting etc, pretty much the basics of interacting like a human being, instead of a creep. This would of course involve overcoming approach anxiety, which is what holds a lot of guys back. 

Also, I believe the focus should be on becoming the best person you can be, instead of simply using tricks and tactics to manipulate the situation. This would been developing all areas of life such as career/ business, health/ fitness, Spirituality, hobbies etc, and just becoming a well rounded awesome person that doesn't actually need gimmicks to attract Women, but can do so by being someone people want to be around, I see this as a much more holistic approach. 

Taking care of yourself- This is essentially learning proper hygiene, getting a haircut, shaving, developing your fashion, taking care of your body etc etc, basically just becoming presentable and the best looking version of yourself. I get attraction is beyond looks, but attraction is of course still pretty key, no need to get hung up here like some guys do, just do what you can and move on. 

Developing Connections with people- Instead of seeing Women as sexual objects, start treating them as people, and developing connections. This doesn't mean you have to marry every girl you approach, it just means it's not ALL about Sex, but actually about developing a connection first before you simply try to get the Women into bed, also, I think everyone knows sex is infinitely better with people you have a connection with.

Sex- Last point, but don't make this about yourself. Sexuality is a beautiful expression of the divine, not a race to see who can finish first. Realize this and please take your time with each Women and treat them like the Goddess they are, not a piece of meat! Some great guys for learning about this are 'Don of Desire' he has some very fundamental videos on this topic! Mastering sex is a very fundamental part of this journey imo, especially if you want to see a girl again! 

What else would you guys add to this? 

This discussion was sparked as I am now single again, and getting back into the dating game, some of the guys I've been watching are very stage orange but have some good teachings to offer, but It's just about making them much more conscious instead of what you typically see in the so called 'Pick Up' community. 

I feel learning dating and attraction is of course essential for those who want to, but can be done in a way that doesn't involve endless manipulation and what not, and instead can be a holistic pursuit of becoming the best version of yourself and massively improving your Social skills. 

I smash. I don't care what color people call it. I lift. I have not missed a workout during pandemic nor has the flu stopped me from hitting on girls. LTR or not, i am always on. While I don't necessarily have to cheat, options are available and it seems to eliminate shenanigans. You can master sex doing the no pants dance. There's a ton of snake oil salesman. Be warned. As for manipulation, what ever. Her hair is dyed. She's wearing the heels, not that tall. She has make up and sports bra on. She's wearing streychy pants and dolled up in clothes that is sexualized. Nothing short of a invite lololol. Who is one with manipulation? The difference is, victim card does not get a man laid. Nobody cares. Women can and they do + still get laid. 

I am reading Path to God by Ram Dass. I enjoy it. I am still going to smash. I don't think there's a better time than the present to bachelor life. 

I got a text the other day from a girl that read, "Hey muscles....!" i think she's 21. I apologise for nothing. 

[LfcCharlie4]

53 minutes ago, Bazooka Jesus said:

Dude, you aint kidding. I have been watching some pick up seminar videos on Youtube in the past (these days I am waaaay too preoccupied with tripping and meditating to be chasing after skirts); and whenever I heard one of those guys ask their audience "Come on guys, do you ever run out of things to say when you’re hanging out and kicking the shit with your buddies?", I always thought "Uuuuummm, yes, as a matter of fact I do. All. The. Fucking. Time. What, is it really just me?!". LOL

Anyway, what you described in the OP is basically the business model / philosophy of The Natural Lifestyles. Do you know their Youtube channel(s)? My favorite dude among them was Tony Solo, but he just flat out vanished and went off into the wilderness some time ago; haven’t got the faintest idea what on god’s green earth he is up to these days. Probably chilling in some remote Ashram on some overclouded Himalayan mountain top!

Haha, that’s what I mean, I feel the training itself has its value certainly. I’m focusing on text & online for now, for obvious reasons& until I go travelling I live in a small town of 30,000 people, not exactly London!?

I haven’t heard of them no, sorry, are they any good? 
 

@Onemanwolfpac Say it how it is?

And by manipulation, I only meant like upfront lying and what not to get girls.

[Bazooka Jesus]

1 hour ago, LfcCharlie4 said:

I haven’t heard of them no, sorry, are they any good?

As far as I can (could) tell, they are (were) definitely among the best and most conscious as far as pick up coaching companies go.

Last year, I saw them giving a PU "bootcamp" in the place that I am living at right now; I even had a chat with some of the guys who were attending this thing. But man, you better don’t ask what they are charging for their little extravaganza... the proverbial arm and a leg would probably be considered a discount by these fellows, heh.

Edited June 17, 2020 by Bazooka Jesus

[LfcCharlie4]

@Bazooka Jesus PUA bootcamps are a joke, we can thank RSD for that lol, It's like $1000s for a few days haha. 

[Onemanwolfpac]

3 hours ago, LfcCharlie4 said:

Haha, that’s what I mean, I feel the training itself has its value certainly. I’m focusing on text & online for now, for obvious reasons& until I go travelling I live in a small town of 30,000 people, not exactly London!?

I haven’t heard of them no, sorry, are they any good? 
 

@Onemanwolfpac Say it how it is?

And by manipulation, I only meant like upfront lying and what not to get girls.

There's a reddit sub. Some dude saw the magician player and paid thousands. He sung the guys praise but said what a joke it was with other so called players. I think he said it was in Vegas. Atm anything regarding male interests is scrubbed from the net, deplatformed or banned. Not shocking men resort to the fark arts after decades of feminism, government education, fatherless homes, and no male role models telling you to nut up + chat up girls. 

Here's perspective. My grandfather never learned game. He boxed. He fought in WW2 and killed a man with his bare hands in combat. He picked up. My grandmother when she was 18. Not 40. He is a bad ass. Men actually behave like men once. No soy juice. The era is awesome and the reasons they were the greatest generation. The best boxers, music, and a variety of different things came out of the great depression.

[Lyubov]

Bumping this to ask, what are the most high conscious resources out there (books and youtube) on dating advice for men and attracting women ?

Please don't post RSD junk, red pill and stuff of that tier 

I have....

- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man (must reed, all his stuff)

- The Naturals Lifestyle (these guys are the most conscious in male dating advice space on youtube)

- The Fearless Man

- Coach Corey Wayne 

- Travel Bum

- Todd V Dating ( ex RSD coach so it's 25/75 between low conscious crap and gold but he is more conscious and holistic now than before, often times some good free advice on youtube)

Edited May 4, 2021 by Lyubov