How to process grief over George Floyd's death?

[Preety_India]

RIP George Floyd. 

George Floyd shares an inspiring message before his death. 

I see his death as an act of inhumanity, a clear violation of human rights, and a death without honor or dignity on the street.. The most heartbreaking part was him calling for his mother moments before his death. 

I have had an emotional rollercoaster for the past few days. I cried for some days and grieved over his death. Although he is nobody to me personally, his death caused a tremendous emotional reaction in me and impact just because of the nature of the death and the circumstances in which no dignity was afforded to him. He is also a human being and so this association caused me to have an emotional reaction despite not being an American. 

I am trying to process the grief, pain and loss over his death but I'm unable to accept that injustice to this degree happens in the world. 

How is a person supposed to accept and reconcile pain and injustice and suffering in the world while living life? 

 

[Lyubov]

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

I am trying to process the grief, pain and loss over his death but I'm unable to accept that injustice to this degree happens in the world. 

How is a person supposed to accept and reconcile pain and injustice and suffering in the world while living life? 

 

You don't have to do anything. Just feel it fully. Don't resist it or try to control it or judge it or try to protect yourself from it. Just feel how you feel fully and be easy and compassionate with yourself and how you feel. Journaling helps too or connecting with others going through the same thing as you. When you feel it has passed and with a clear mind plan your next action steps to make a positive difference regarding this issue. 

[Preety_India]

@Lyubov that was helpful. Thank you. 

 

[Shmurda]

Hey,

Interesting post and I'm glad you put this here. It gives me the opportunity to ask an honest question that probably would be shot down by a lot of people who are grieving George Floyd right now. 

Why do you care about this guys unjustified death, compared to all the other fucked up shit that happens in the world all the time?

Just to list off a few examples: Industrial animal farming and the thousands of sentient beings that die every hour, the patriarchy and the countless women who have suffered and died because they were treated as less than men, wealth inequality and poverty and the hundreds dying in Africa and the middle east every day so that we in the west  can sit here getting fat.

Why do you choose to grieve George Floyd so explicitly but not these other things? Is it just because its popular on social media right now?

Sorry if this seems insensitive. I have the best intentions and genuinely just want to find out your thought process.

[Preety_India]

@Shmurda  it's because somehow in his death, I see all the injustices of the world, the nature of his death reflects the deaths of many innocent people around the world. 

He seems to symbolize the death of innocence. 

 

[IJB063]

@Preety_India

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

@Shmurda  it's because somehow in his death, I see all the injustices of the world, the nature of his death reflects the deaths of many innocent people around the world. 

He seems to symbolize the death of innocence. 

 

Two things

1 - George Floyd isn’t exactly a good boy, the man went to prison for five years for pointing a gun at a pregnant woman’s stomach, he has a list of felonies attached to his name, that obviously doesn’t justify that oinker killing him, but Floyd sure as fuck isn’t symbolic of innocence unless your delusional 

&

2 - Why are you grieving over the death of a man you never even knew? I can find you thousands of videos, I can find you dozens of videos just from today, of brutal acts of senseless violence acted upon innocent people, is George Floyd more deserving of your tears than those people?

[Preety_India]

@IJB063  even if he had a felony record, does he deserve to be executed on the ground in public on the street? Shouldn't he like others deserve a fair trial?  That's where I see an innocent death. A person not even allowed a proper arrest and dead on the spot.. It was inhuman in every form because of he was begging for his life. 

And second point. How does grieving over his death automatically become mutually exclusive. How does it imply that I won't grieve other things. I never said that others aren't deserving of my tears. They are too. If you showed all those thousand videos I would feel equally hurt and sad but my feed page on YouTube or Facebook showed me this first. If I was shown those videos I would have felt equally depressed.. 

The question or the focus is not so much why I'm grieving the death of this man alone, I never mentioned in my question that I am feeling more distressed over this out of a bunch of other videos. But this video is the latest in the string of incidents of different kinds of injustices. I usually heal over time but in this case I wanted help in processing grief, of course over time I will forget it as usual but my real question of the thread, if you cared to read carefully was the last line "How is a person supposed to accept and reconcile pain and injustice and suffering in the world while living life?"... This is about all injustices in the world, I have used the occasion of George Floyd's death to highlight his tragedy as well as other tragedies that don't get spoken about. 

I really needed help in processing pain and accepting or reconciling injustice and suffering in the world, wasn't looking for being judged for grieving the death of a black man in America. Don't understand why that was such a focus. The focus is more on the injustices, Floyd just happens to be the latest symbol of it. 

 

[IJB063]

@Preety_India

20 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

even if he had a felony record, does he deserve to be executed on the ground in public on the street? Shouldn't he like others deserve a fair trial?  That's where I see an innocent death. A person not even allowed a proper arrest and dead on the spot.. It was inhuman in every form because of he was begging for his life. 

...

1 hour ago, IJB063 said:

that obviously doesn’t justify that oinker killing him

I agree, it was inhuman, obviously, that’s the American Police for you, they’re jackboot evil authoritarians, that what they like to do, it gets there little peckers hard to know that they have the power to kill you, what I was saying is that you said that

3 hours ago, Preety_India said:

He seems to symbolize the death of innocence. 

Which I say the guy is a piece of shit. Just like the oinker. Doesn’t mean he deserves to get killed in the street, every person no matter how reprehensible deserves justice. 

20 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

And second point. How does grieving over his death automatically become mutually exclusive. How does it imply that I won't grieve other things. I never said that others aren't deserving of my tears. They are too. If you showed all those thousand videos I would feel equally hurt and sad but my feed page on YouTube or Facebook showed me this first. If I was shown those videos I would have felt equally depressed.. 

It’s this hyper focus on a single man that everyone has rallied behind, when there are many worse cases in this world that are deserving of much more attention at yet go by the wayside. It’s upsetting to me to see that narrow focus.

20 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

The question or the focus is not so much why I'm grieving the death of this man alone, I never mentioned in my question that I am feeling more distressed over this out of a bunch of other videos. But this video is the latest in the string of incidents of different kinds of injustices. I usually heal over time but in this case I wanted help in processing grief, of course over time I will forget it as usual but my real question of the thread, if you cared to read carefully was the last line "How is a person supposed to accept and reconcile pain and injustice and suffering in the world while living life?"... This is about all injustices in the world, I have used the occasion of George Floyd's death to highlight his tragedy as well as other tragedies that don't get spoken about. 

The worlds a shit place, if you’re looking to grieve over strangers it’ll never stop. Whats needed is a certain level of Stoicism, most people will live boring, uneventful and painful lives.

“No rose without a thorn but many a thorn without a rose.“

Suffering is a necessary part of the human condition, there’s no point in complaining or crying about it and you should just get on with it.

“Soon, you will have forgotten everything. Soon, everybody will have forgotten you.”

20 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

really needed help in processing pain and accepting or reconciling injustice and suffering in the world, wasn't looking for being judged for grieving the death of a black man in America. Don't understand why that was such a focus. The focus is more on the injustices, Floyd just happens to be the latest symbol of it. 

You’re right, I apologise, I wasn’t really judging you as a person, I’ve just been seeing this focus on Floyd to the exclusion of everything else on social media and it’s disappointing considering everything else going on in the world.

Edited June 7, 2020 by IJB063

[Preety_India]

8 minutes ago, IJB063 said:

Suffering is a necessary part of the human condition, there’s no point in complaining or crying about it and you should just get on with it

That's the part that is hardest for me. I understand that suffering happens.. But then everyday humanity is working harder to reduce suffering. So it is very difficult to imagine that suffering should continue. 

It almost makes me want to kill myself. Like life is not worth living if suffering happens. 

 

[IJB063]

@Preety_India

56 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

That's the part that is hardest for me. I understand that suffering happens.. But then everyday humanity is working harder to reduce suffering. So it is very difficult to imagine that suffering should continue. 

It almost makes me want to kill myself. Like life is not worth living if suffering happens. 

 

You're taking life too seriously 

Relax

I know it’s probably pretty stupid but this post reminded me off a Bill Hicks closer here 
 

 

 

[Preety_India]

@Keyhole  yea. I hadn't looked into his record at all. I had automatically assumed that he had some minor problems with the law. But here I came to know about him having used a gun to a pregnant woman and that has changed my perspective on him radically now. 

I don't feel so much sad about him now. Is this okay or is this wrong that I don't feel the same emotion anymore? 

After reading all the responses, my mind is slowly changing in my reaction to his death. 

Maybe I should have looked into his record earlier but I was swayed emotionally to even think of that. 

I don't support violence and I don't like violent people. So knowing that he was a violent criminal is very disappointing right now, almost like a betrayal, as though I grieved the wrong thing or misplaced grief. 

But anyway he still deserved a fair trial. 

It's strange that he is chosen to be the face of change. But then fate moves in mysterious ways.. 

 

Thanks for all the responses. They brought a gradual shift in my perspective to his death and him in general. 

 

[IJB063]

@Preety_India

Thats the problem, it’s not just you it’s everybody for the most part

Powerful institutions and group, e.g. the media, will always have vested interests in keeping people ignorant of the truth 

I know it sounds dull, but you really should question everything you read and hear from practically everyone, even if you do that your still in no way guaranteed the truth, so you should always be open minded to the possibility that you may be wrong

George Floyd has been portrayed as this heroic firgure, who if he had a criminal record it’s probably just because he stole a candy bar in high school, but it’s not true

That obviously doesn’t justify Derek Chauvin, and it’s good that police brutality is being addressed in America, it just fucking annoying the whole narrative that’s being spun around this whole thing.

Did you know, in the same state of Minnesota, just a few years ago, a woman called Justine Damond was shot dead in her home after she called the Police by an officer called Mohamed Noor, a Somali Police officer. For literally no reason, she wasn’t resisting arrest, she had no extensive criminal record or drugs in her system. She was just fucking shot dead for no reason in her home. Their were no mass riots, there was no global mourning and no cry’s of racism because a black man shot a white woman. It was just plain and clear police brutality. I hate the obsession with race, we’re becoming a more racist society, I wish we could just abandon it and focus on the real issue of police militarisation.  

[Preety_India]

 

4 minutes ago, IJB063 said:

@Preety_India

Thats the problem, it’s not just you it’s everybody for the most part

Powerful institutions and group, e.g. the media, will always have vested interests in keeping people ignorant of the truth 

I know it sounds dull, but you really should question everything you read and hear from practically everyone, even if you do that your still in no way guaranteed the truth, so you should always be open minded to the possibility that you may be wrong

George Floyd has been portrayed as this heroic firgure, who if he had a criminal record it’s probably just because he stole a candy bar in high school, but it’s not true

That obviously doesn’t justify Derek Chauvin, and it’s good that police brutality is being addressed in America, it just fucking annoying the whole narrative that’s being spun around this whole thing.

Did you know, in the same state of Minnesota, just a few years ago, a woman called Justine Damond was shot dead in her home after she called the Police by an officer called Mohamed Noor, a Somali Police officer. For literally no reason, she wasn’t resisting arrest, she had no extensive criminal record or drugs in her system. She was just fucking shot dead for no reason in her home. Their were no mass riots, there was no global mourning and no cry’s of racism because a black man shot a white woman. It was just plain and clear police brutality. I hate the obsession with race, we’re becoming a more racist society, I wish we could just abandon it and focus on the real issue of police militarisation.  

Yes! Absolutely agree. I'm also tired of the race thing. Humanity is one. The more we say black versus white, the more racist it gets. I've always said that police brutality is more about cop abuse of power rather than racism. Because I have seen so many videos of white people being tortured and killed by the police. 

Just this past 2 days, a 75 year old white protester was shoved to the ground in Buffalo and he was left bleeding and the police officers said that he simply tripped and fell but thanks to the video, it shows the cops knocking the man with full force. 

Cop brutality is abominable. 

This guy talks about it in depth. 

 

 

[IJB063]

@Preety_India

When I see the video of those oinkers knocking down that old man it makes me wanna do things that I shouldn’t say.

Its because the police aren’t accountable, all I want is more police accountability and less fuelling of racial division and divide and conquer.

These protest and riots exists because of the race narrative, the narratives focus isnt on the real issue  of police militarisation, instead it’s on the police being racist, that’s why most of these people are protesting, that’s what I find annoying about this movement 

8 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

The more we say black versus white, the more racist it gets

Amen

Edited June 7, 2020 by IJB063

[JessicaKatherine]

@Preety_India I've been feeling deeply sympathetic as well and also confused and hurt.

I'm feeling generally more open because the way that things have been for our communities right now whereas before I don't suppose I've been paying this much attention to the whole and feel like it is natural to stay open in your grief and allow change to take place. 

I hope you have been well, overall! 

[Red-White-Light]

@Preety_India The ego truly thinks Black Lives Matter is doing any good towards the ending of racism. Collective egos are still trying to address racism from the notion of black vs white, which doesn't make any logical sense. People literally get offended by All Lives Matter. This statement is more fundamentally true, it connects closer to the understanding of Oneness. The police officer doesn't understand he knelled on his own neck and killed himself. 

[Godhead]

2 hours ago, Red-White-Light said:

People literally get offended by All Lives Matter.

Be careful here, it's tricky, almost ironically funny.

People from an ethnocentric perspective use universal language (All lives matter) to move away from a universal conversation.

People from a universal perspective use ethnocentric language (Black lives matter) to move towards a universal conversation.

The people who are saying all lives matter are usually trying to deflect from all the issues black people are facing. There is ofc no problem in talking about other problems. But to try to focus on other problems just to avoid the current one is silly and bordering racism. 

[Armand]

On 6/7/2020 at 9:05 AM, IJB063 said:

@Preety_India

Which I say the guy is a piece of shit. Just like the oinker. Doesn’t mean he deserves to get killed in the street, every person no matter how reprehensible deserves justice.

I think this wasn't racial profiling but an interpersonal issue that these two people who previously knew and worked together had. It was murder but I think it's ridiculous to blame all the police for the actions of a few. It doesn't justify it, but I'm not about to get upset for the man who committed atrocities that I personally could not easily forgive if it was done to my wife and unborn child. Human Trafficking to me is a much larger issue than fighting to absolve people of responsibility or a label. Much better things to do than be upset and waste that time on an issue that's pushing us to lose more freedoms (such as freedom of speech.) As sad as this is to say, the fact that fentanyl was in his body, means to me that his fate was quite possibly nearing an end. My brother lost his life to it when he overdosed on it. Not only that, but those that I've encountered in life who were doing fentanyl illegally, were also distributing it out to the locals. If that was the case he might of had a hand in many innocents actually dying.