How to overcome self loathing and hating life?

[Elshaddai]

Like the title suggests, this is some I really struggled with for a very long time and with mixed results.

I'm not very comfortable in my own skin and have a very negative of my self and human society as a whole.

Leo's videos on self love helped a bit but I still struggle to love myself if i'm honest. So I guess another way to reframe my question is how can I make it easier to accept and love myself?

Edited June 2, 2020 by Elshaddai
sounds better i guess

[ajasatya]

@Elshaddai Why are you uncomfortable?

[rlc]

@Elshaddai if you saw almost an identical clone of yourself walking in the street would you really still think low of that person? Both answers are okay but which is it? 

Don’t you just wish someone understood what you were going through? If they can’t understand you then there is something they wish they could be understood about too. understanding you’re only misunderstood by someone else who feels misunderstood can help you be free 

like he asked what’s making you uncomfortable? Is it your appearance? Your actions? It helps get to the root 
 

 

[Elshaddai]

14 hours ago, ajasatya said:

@Elshaddai Why are you uncomfortable?

Because i hate myself. I hate the life that i lived and all the People i hurt and still do.

I wished that didn't live the life I lived thus far. how I fail to meet the gals i set for myself because i'm to afraid, lazy and addicted to persue them. 

I could go on but I think you get some of the picture

Edited June 2, 2020 by Elshaddai

[Elshaddai]

9 hours ago, rlc said:

@Elshaddai if you saw almost an identical clone of yourself walking in the street would you really still think low of that person? Both answers are okay but which is it? 

Don’t you just wish someone understood what you were going through? If they can’t understand you then there is something they wish they could be understood about too. understanding you’re only misunderstood by someone else who feels misunderstood can help you be free 

like he asked what’s making you uncomfortable? Is it your appearance? Your actions? It helps get to the root 
 

 

Well generally i don't think low of someone I don't really know. 

My appearance does sometimes make me uncomfortable since I'm overweight but i think the main thing like i said above is not liking the way i lived.

I despise the way i was educated and how much time i wasted in the standard k12 education and how it really was terrible for me since i was very awkward growing up because I have Asperger's syndrome that wasn't diagnosed until i was 20.

[ajasatya]

@Elshaddai Are you willing to change?

[Elshaddai]

@ajasatya Yes I am

[ajasatya]

Just now, Elshaddai said:

@ajasatya Yes I am

Ok. I would recommend you to start by changing your diet. This is a marathon, not a sprint contest. Stick with a healthy diet for at least one year.

While you do that, build a strong foundation of self-knowledge. Read several books. Nietzsche, Kant, Socrates.

Change drastically and consistently. This is the key.

[Roy]

I was in the same place for a long time @Elshaddai with the loathing and being cynical of the world. It may feel like a "righteous" place to be mentally, and that you have an accurate view of the world. But it's just a selfish and warped perception. The worst part is it's not even the kind of selfishness that serves you, it's just an illusion that is put on to appear smart to other people.

You'll come to realize over time (or already) that it's a limiting, toxic, and self-destructive perspective. You can't just stay in that place forever, because it's tiring and will eat at you and your average happiness levels. You need to work on orienting yourself towards the things that make you happy. Life purpose is a great center for this. See Leo's course for more. You have to spend as much free time as you have aimed at the things you want do, don't waste it on other people and their BS.

As for loving and accepting yourself, realize that everything happened exactly as it needed to happen for you to be where you are now. Where you want to change and are trying to move yourself in a better direction. Don't resent the past, because it will keep you stuck and stewing in those negative feelings, which doesn't help you move forward. What happened is just what happened, and it's OK!

Once you really get that down you're able to be more present and can focus on the future you want more.

Hope this helps - Roy

 

[Elshaddai]

On 2.6.2020 at 7:45 PM, ajasatya said:

Ok. I would recommend you to start by changing your diet. This is a marathon, not a sprint contest. Stick with a healthy diet for at least one year.

While you do that, build a strong foundation of self-knowledge. Read several books. Nietzsche, Kant, Socrates.

Change drastically and consistently. This is the key.

Yeah diet is a good place to start for sure. i've dabbled with the writings of the philosphers you mentioned but i'll definately check them out once i'm done with the book i'm reading.

thanks for the tips i'll start applying your ideas and see if i get results

[Elshaddai]

@Roy Thank you roy for the kind words

 

On 2.6.2020 at 11:55 PM, Roy said:

because it's tiring and will eat at you and your average happiness levels.

I agree!

 

On 2.6.2020 at 11:55 PM, Roy said:

Life purpose is a great center for this. See Leo's course for more. You have to spend as much free time as you have aimed at the things you want do, don't waste it on other people and their BS.

Easier said than done! Ordinary life(I mean work, family, and other obligations) have a habit of distracting me from finding my life purpsoe  also I often just procrastinate on changing myself because of fear and desire for comfort and ease I would imagine.

[ArchangelG]

On 2020-06-02 at 11:57 AM, Elshaddai said:

Because i hate myself. I hate the life that i lived and all the People i hurt and still do.

I wished that didn't live the life I lived thus far. how I fail to meet the gals i set for myself because i'm to afraid, lazy and addicted to persue them. 

I could go on but I think you get some of the picture

Don't worry about self-love, focus on the self-hate. Cause that's obciously what you're feeling.