Profound Transcendence Experience to Mental Illness

[Metahuman]

About 2 years ago I started pursuing spirituality and personal development. My intention was to experience the beyond and trip without drugs. It first started with me transcending my emotions through music/food and meditation. I would experience deep trance like states of altered consciousness naturally and almost was a curse since I happened to experience these for 2 months during my transcendence phase.

As i would experience deeper states it felt like I was a ball rolling down a hole and just continued to get deeper, deeper, deeper. I would receive these insights regarding UFO's on how the craft may work, time travel, electro-gravity, futuristic ideas, telepathy, the maze of the mind, dimensions, oneness. At this time I felt on top of the world since I was receiving insights from either entities, intuition, or my soul. The insights that I have written down are all great an all but its almost like a curse. I don't know if they are true, I keep trying to think how a UFO would work, I think absurd thoughts regarding reality. Its as I was so unconscious of what was truly happening in my mind at this time since I didn't take drugs to notice a distinct difference of my hallucinations.

Flash forward to now: I now suffer with bi-polar. I have these weird (i guess conspiracy theories). My mind thinks it can sense things telepathically which sometimes I am right with it but also I am wrong. Also It also feels I naturally programmed my mind to trip balls and go into altered states. Everyday I think of UFO's, flying at the speed of light, thinking how I could manage to build my own craft someday. I am conscious that my mind probably can't handle this beyond thinking where I try to wrap my head around the concept. I see professional help but they don't address the issue of my absurd thinking regarding the nature of this reality. My life was great before this and I think what the hell happened to me  I experience a lot of emotions of moving too quickly which gives me anxiety that everything should be done as quickly as possible which I wouldn't be sure if this stems from these experiences.

I'd love to hear your opinions, thank ya.

Edited May 21, 2020 by Metahuman

[IChoseTheRedPill]

If you do in fact have Bipolar, different forms of delusions are extremely common... Buy this book and follow Dr Natasha Campbell-McBride's instructions... She was a Neurosurgeon who flipped specialties... She is amazing...

 

https://www.amazon.com/Psychology-Syndrome-D-D-D-H-D-Schizophrenia/dp/0954852028

[Nahm]

@Metahuman

Sounds like you’re getting stuck on paradigms & the duality of thought, and thus recreating reoccurrences of spiritual ego. Let the stories & grandiose conceptualizing go, and scrutinize & inspect thought, feeling & emotion. Get understanding via direct experience of the basics of being a creator down first. Then create with intention & purpose, rather than getting sucked up by creation. The ordinary is the magical. The ‘living of the ‘regular’ life’ is ‘where it’s at’. There are phases, stages, of ignoring life, responsibility, etc, focusing on nonsense. Look at them, not away.