Preety_India

My name is Preety, not Pretty !!

417 posts in this topic

 

Joseph was like Magick 

August and September 2019 

It was last week of August. 

I had an injury. It would take days to heal. 

On the night of August 23 Joseph gave me bad news. He said that he was served a restraining order by Rob. 

There was a court date fixed to decide if the restraining order was to be approved or not. 

Joseph told me that he had to urgently leave the place as told by the police. 

He moved into a homeless shelter.. 

My mom wasn't feeling well in India. And I decided I had to leave urgently. 

By September 2019 I was back in India. 

Joseph was looking for new places. 

This was September. Joseph told me that he was sure he will get cleared of the restraining order. 

So I patiently waited. 

He began to be abusive again towards the end of September. 

I started to rethink about our relationship. I wanted to be done with Joseph once and for all. Because I knew by then that there was no hope for any change. I also knew that the restraining order will not be dismissed. It was my intuition. 

I thought he would go to jail again. 

Joseph appeared in court. 

Before that we had an intense argument because i had hinted at a reality he wasn't ready to accept. 

I had told him that the restraining order won't be lifted. 

He was very furious. But I was only telling him the truth so that he could accept it and find a better place before it was too late. 

Joseph's ego wasn't having it. He called me a stupid bit*ch. I told him this was the last time I was having it. 

 

He appeared in court and his request was dismissed and he was told by the judge to move all his belongings out. 

I knew that he had done nothing wrong. Of course Doug and Mick and Rob had a vendetta against him and wanted to use his recent arrest against him. 

I was very upset. I knew there was no hope for this relationship at all. 

I just decided to offer him support as long as his homelesssness went on  

By the end of September I checked into a meditation retreat center and I met Andrew, an American there. We had a great conversation and we exchanged numbers. Andrew became a close friend. 

By October Joseph tried to switch shelters. I encouraged him to get a job 

Joseph was looking for a job. 

 

 


 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. 

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Joseph found a job at Fereshekl (name of the company changed for privacy. 

He was working for a while. He also got an accommodation. 

I had lost a lot of weight by this time and I was looking very thin and frail. The stress of the relationship had caused me to lose significant weight 

 

I had been losing weight since Joseph went to jail. I had never truly recovered from the trauma. 

Joseph had been neglecting me and constantly talking about how he could get a better woman. I felt a bit unnerved. Maybe he was trying to just put me down. This was his narcissistic habit.. He would always shame me. 

He would take credit for everything and make me feel like I was a someone who didn't deserve him 

His love wasn't a farce. But his behavior was very wrong and unhealthy. 

I had come across a video in which I had seen a woman being arrested because the husband called 911 on her during an argument 

Although this video had no correlation to me, I was a bit unnerved watching it. 

It felt like a conspiracy by the husband. 

I had a bad feeling. I was thinking what if Joseph did the same thing to me. 

He had previously given me jail threats. He was wanted to take revenge for what his ex wife had done to him by sending me to jail. 

He told me that since I was an immigrant, nobody would believe me. 

He could easily bring up some false charge against me and send me to prison.. 

He wanted to know what it would feel like if I were sent to jail and made to suffer. 

This was creating a major fear in me and a major reason why I wanted to break up with him. I didn't want to be involved in his jail drama. 

The fear was overwhelming. America is well known for false arrests. He himself was a prime example. Just a 911 call and people get arrested over next to nothing.

Looking at the Johnny Depp case. Any woman could bring charges against a man and vice versa. 

I increasingly began to feel wary and frustrated.. 

Since he had given me jail threats it was clear that even a small argument with him could easily turn deadly or fatal. He could do anything. The trust was lost. 

Although I knew deep down that he wouldn't kill me but I was not sure about the jail part. Saying such serious things can easily ruin a relationship. Threatening someone is not a great idea especially when the other person is planning marriage. 

This was a huge trust issue between us. The threats he had made. Death threats and jail threats. The threat of Planting evidence against me and sending me to jail. 

I confronted him in the first week of November about this. He was begging me to marry him. 

He begged me to come back to America and marry him. 

I asked him about the threats. 

He said he would never harm me in any way. That whatever he said, he said it to frighten me and hurt me and because he was in anger. 

That week I had decided that I needed to be out of this. No matter how much he convinced me about it, I was scared that he would lie to get me in trouble.. I was scared that our marriage would never work.. I was scared that he would go to jail again leaving me alone and anxious. 

And he would never change his abusive behavior. 

I was at the end of my line. 

By November 12, I called Joseph and ended things with him 

 

The relationship was over. 

 

 

 

Edited by Preety_India

 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. 

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🍒☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️Periwinkle 🌸

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Joseph was like Magick and a new chapter with Andrew 

I was very upset about our relationship. After breaking up with him I was despondent. 

However I made a firm resolve and quickly recovered. Andrew was helping me in this direction. 

I had quickly grown attached to Andrew and I was feeling very good in his company.. After a few meetings we  were already getting intimate because Andrew wasn't shy in expressing himself. He was living in a motel at the time. He was desperately looking for a place to live when he was in the meditation retreat with me. So I told him that he could stay at my friends place for a few days. 

For privacy reasons I wouldn't be disclosing any location details. 

Once I had arranged a place for him, he was very grateful to me. 

By December I was already sexually intimate with Andrew. Part of this could have been that I wanted to forget Joseph and quickly move on and not fall back into the same trap. 

I wanted to close that chapter. 

I hadn't confessed my decisions to Andrew. We were in a friends with benefits relationship at the time. Of course I was looking for a long term relationship with Andrew but I wasn't going to tell him so easily. I wanted to be a bit sneaky this time. 

My previous experiences had taught me that quickly falling in love and confessing can make the other person take you for granted. Being needy in a relationship is not valued. 

I was more focused on emotional independence at the time and I needed a breather and time to myself. I didn't want to get so emotionally involved  so quickly. 

I had gotten used to relationships. They weren't a big deal to me anymore. Of course I would cherish a loving relationship and show gratitude but nothing was going to ever come closer to how I felt with Joseph. 

I had sort of outgrown the need for being in relationships itself. 

I had outgrown those teenagey dreamy passionate feelings and desires for a great romance. 

I had already experienced a great romance, so there was nothing left to experience anymore. 

The Romeo Juliet of my life had come and gone. It had come  like a storm and it had gone like the wind. 

 

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 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. 

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🍒☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️Periwinkle 🌸

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This picture reflects my personality really well.. I'm the writer. I express. I vent. I write. Till the end of time. 

 

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I still hear the coucal and I always will. 

 


 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. 

Quick access to journal entries

🍒☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️Periwinkle 🌸

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So a short summary of my dating history which I keep for reference. The loves of my life were important to me. 

They gave me pain and hurt and sorrow but also taught me important life lessons 

 

Raj was my first crush when I was 18. This was in 2011..he rejected me because he was 35 years old.. Although I never saw his age as a problem because he was very young looking, he was not ready to date an 18 year old girl. He called me his little sister and that pissed me off because I had such romantic feelings for him. But anyway we went our separate ways and never contacted each other again. I met Raj in the years when I was pursuing my graduate degree in college.. 

My first real boyfriend was when I just applied for a Masters degree, that is MBA in a nearby college in my city. He was SHT. I was just 20 and it was 2013. I had just finished my graduation that year and applied for masters. And I was in the first semester of my Masters. And I met SHT at a corner near a bookstore. 

The experience with SHT was my first sexual experience during MBA school/college  years. We used to not call it MBA school but we used to call it MBA college. I lost my virginity to him. Not in a good way because he forced me but I enjoyed it because back then I did not see it that way. I don't blame him. It was something that happened between us in a moment of heat or passion, although I was not ready for it and back then I had no idea about sex so I could not have consented to it, yet it wasn't something I denied completely. I simply surrendered to his will and we became boyfriend girlfriend. He was my first real boyfriend and the relationship became bad within just 6 months. And I had to dump him because I constantly felt like he was in it only for the sex. The only thing we did was sex. The relationship became fruitless very fast and I wanted someone who would be more kind and understanding. 

I used to watch  SHT flirt with other girls for the rest of the semesters after our breakup. It wasn't pleasant. 

Although SHT kept contacting and texting me for many years after that, as recent as 2017 when I received texts from him and I had to block him. He couldn't get over him past the breakup but I had already moved on. 

I finished MBA in 2015.  That's when I finally moved on from SHT. 

I began working late that year and I switched a few jobs 


 

After finishing my MBA college. I began searching for a job. I joined a small investment firm. It was not a good experience. In fact it was a horror show. That firm was a scam as I would find out later. 

I quit that job and joined a accounting company. This was a marketing company as well. This was 2014 and I had just celebrated my 21st birthday and I was selected for this accounting cum marketing job. 

The pay was minimum, bare minimum. I thought I'll just get some quick experience and jump for a higher better paying job. 

I started my first month at this workplace. And here comes Mr Bud. He was assigned by my manager to train new members or employees. Since I was a new employee, his job was to train me and explain me how to operate their systems and the overall protocol. 

So this guy Bud was always hovering around me like a butterfly. He would constantly draw my attention to him.. 

He was extremely helpful. He was my age. 

At first I didn't notice this guy. He was shorter than me. Slightly shorter. He was thin and kinda wimpy. 

He looked ugly. He was nothing like my first handsome boyfriend. If my first boyfriend was a 9 out of 10 then this guy was a 4. 

I would have never fallen for this guy. Because I usually was attracted to good looking men. I didn't pay much attention to the ones that didn't look good. They escaped my view. 

A man that looked confident also looked more manly to me. 

So Bud was a little guy who was almost like a jester. Always around me, playing pranks on me while I would be seriously immersed in work. I had a terrific work ethic. I would never miss a day. Always on time. Finishing all my work on time 

This relationship began because I really felt that Bud was the stereotypical nice guy. 

The relationship was awful and plagued by Bud's insecurities that I was earning more than him, wealthier than him and generally doing better than him. He never felt confident or comfortable around me, resorting to attacking my success or family or my character. He would always find something to compete with. He also financially exploited me during this time always telling me some excuse to make me pay for everything. Later I would find out that he had no intention to marry him and the entire relationship was a total fraud. 

I ended this relationship in early 2017 or mid 2017 when it became clear that Bud was just fooling around. 

My next relationship began in a totally different country, USA, where I met a nice handsome well built young man Joseph at a grocery store and who took me by surprise with his boldness and confidence. 

This was late 2017. 

And this relationship would take me for a real ride on the emotional roller-coaster. 

The next two years 2018, and 2019 were the most grueling years of my life dealing with a boyfriend who had put me through intense challenges. 

Yet I learned a lot. A lot. So I don't really regret it as much as I regret my relationship with Bud. 

I sort of ended this relationship with Joseph in November 2019 when several people on the forum encouraged me to leave the abusive relationship. 

At this same time I met Andrew when I returned back to India at a meditation retreat and he was my saving grace. I quickly moved on to him, in an effort to forget Joseph. Yet Joseph was very persuasive and he kept persuading me throughout November, December, January and February 2020 to come back to America and marry him 

I was not sure what to do by then. 

Although I didn't want to make the relationship work, I still had feelings for him 

By March 2nd week 2020 we had a tensed argument and he was being abusive again.. After which I ended the relationship for good on March 13,2020. The date is weird to me because I consider 13 an unlucky number in my witchcraft practice. I never contacted him again. 

I told Andrew about it and our relationship began the same month. Now I'm happy in this relationship and my miseries have been put to rest at last, hopefully. 

 

Closure. 

 

Edited by Preety_India

 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. 

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🍒☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️Periwinkle 🌸

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 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. 

Quick access to journal entries

🍒☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️Periwinkle 🌸

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A new chapter begins. I love you Andrew forever. Forever in love now. 


 

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 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. 

Quick access to journal entries

🍒☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️Periwinkle 🌸

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The religious aspect and witch aspect of Me

 I will give a small summary on my religious background and then proceed to explain the different types of witches.

I'm born a Hindu with some Catholic influence as a child. My father had faith in Christianity and he used to take me to church.. My school was in the church itself and the school principal was the Father of the church I used to go to. I used to pray to Christ as a child. 

When I grew up, I still retained both my Hindu and Christian roots. At some point because of a statement of Pope Francis in September 2018,I tried to look away from Christianity because I was disappointed in Pope Francis but my boyfriend Joseph who was an American Catholic encouraged me to not leave Christianity because of the Pope. So I  wandered around a bit and got into Wicca during this period. Wicca gave me a base to sustain without Christianity for some time but then I had the hunger to return to Christ. I knew my depart would be temporary. I was looking for true Christianity and not the Joel Osteen type of Christianity, that is prosperity gospel. I gave up Prosperity Gospel because it didn't serve my purpose. At the same time Martin Luther the German monk changed my view on traditional Catholicism and I decided to adopt the Lutheran style or Protestantism, my knowledge of Christianity is still not full, and I needed a strong background to return back to Christianity, that's when by accident I came across Justin Peters ministry and I became a member and then I began to follow John F. MacArthur while I was in America in early 2019. 

By May 2019, I started using Justin Peters teachings and successfully mounted myself back into Christianity, this time with a firm foundation and no false teachers or money hungry pastors. 

At the same time I realized that Wicca could be in conflict with Christianity so I stayed away from divination practices in Wicca, although currently I think it's okay to do divination and I might pursue divination in the future. 

 

The good news for me is that the attitude of Americans is changing towards Wicca and very recently the Nevada state okayed the Wiccan symbol on the grave of veteran Sgt. Patrick D. Stewart, he was a follower of the Wiccan religion. 

This article gives me hope for the future of Wiccans in America. At least the American government approved our sacred symbol 

 

https://www.nysun.com/national/feds-okay-pentagrams-for-veterans-graves/53114/

 

Witches across America are rejoicing after the Veterans Administration agreed to permit service members to have their graves at military cemeteries marked with a Wiccan symbol known as a pentacle or pentagram.

OK now I finished my background on my religious struggle.. Coming to types of witches. 

These are the main types of witches 

Kitchen witch 

Hedge witch 

Cosmic witch 

Green witch 

Garden witch 

Sea witch 

Elemental witch 

Solitary witch 

Divination witch 

Gardnerian witch 

Alexandrian witch 

Dianic witch 

Forest witch

Elven witch

Dragon Wicca.

Swan Wicca ( I'm the creator/founder of this Wicca, this is my own and personal, not that others follow) 

 

Kitchen witch - kitchen witch is an informal term for a witch who emphasizes cooking, food, and meal times in her magical practice.

Cooking 

Home routines 

Homemade offerings 

Cleansings

Protection spells 

 

Hedge witch - the Home and the hearth. She will take care of the home and main interest will be healing her home. This is a house witch. 

 

Cosmic witch - 

Astrology 

Zodiac signs 

Horoscopes 

Uses Celestial energy. 

 

I work with astrology myself. Not professional. Just for myself as a hobby. I learn about it every day. 

 

 

Green witch - loves nature and the earth

 Also called flora witch. 

Works with trees, herbs and flowers. Plants. 

Skilled herbalist and makes herbal remedies. 

Enjoys hiking /trail walking 

Loves animals and wildlife. You can see in my journals I write and post a lot about animals.. 

Enjoys gardening and wild crafting - I enjoy gardening a lot 

Environmentally friendly 

Atttune with Earth's natural cycles 

Has an apothecary full of herbs, roots and oils. 

Can have interest in fae fairies or elves. I have interest in elves. In one of my journals I have focused on different costumes and styles of elves. 

I have elven fantasies. It's a sign that I'm a forest witch. 

Sea witch - ocean, seas, lakes. My journal label Ocean Marina is about being a sea witch. It deals with working with vast water bodies and lunar magic and weather magic. 

I made a journal entry on collecting storm water for my moon magic spell. 

My tarot cards De La Luna deck that I created in my old journal deals with lunar magic. 

 

Elemental witch - The Elemental Witch, as the name implies, invokes elemental energies as an empowering force for magical goals. They use the Elemental Quartet namely Earth, Air, Water and Fire

I use all elements since I resonate with all elements. 

Under the Elemental Witch we have different categories representing different sentiments and ideas or qualities to which the witch can have an affinity or she could be  a general elemental witch like me. 

 

 

 

Solitary witch - this simply means that the witch practices her craft and magic on her own. Some witches belong to a hierarchical group called coven. I don't belong to a coven. I do my stuff alone so I'm a solitary witch. 

Solitary witches make their potions and spells and can write their own book of shadows. 

My goal is to write my own book of shadows. A grimoire is a general book that most witches follow. Right now I don't have a grimoire. I just want my own book. 

 

Divination witch - they deal with divination or fortune telling.

Tarot cards

Palmistry

I Ching 

Tasseography 

 

This interferes with my Christianity as in the Bible there are references against divination. So I only do this on a minimal scale. 

I have a pendulum which I use. But generally I work with my several tarot decks that I created in my journals 

 

Gardnerian witch - I'm a Gardnerian witch. I follow the Horned God. 

 

 

 

Dianic witch - these are similar to Gardnerian, they are more feminine and only worship goddesses. 

 

Garden witch - same as green witch, but will work more in gardens rather than open spaces. 

 

Forest witch, elf witch - this is my own category. It's similar to green witch but there I combine fantasy art of Elves into this practice. 

Alexandrian witch - this was started in the 60s by Alex and Maxine Sanders and the Gods are different from Gardnerian traditions 

Elven witch - not popular, very few witches that I was in contact with used elves as inspiration. I use this some times. 

Dragon wicca. - dragon wicca is a very rare form of Wicca which I practice. I consider a dragon my twin guardian. I created the Character  Sairys and Porsairys using   Dragon Wicca. It's somewhere lost in my journals. 

Swan Wicca - this is own personal brand of Wicca I created in the month of September/October 2018. I call it Swan Wicca.. I wasn't very satisfied with the current forms of Wicca and they weren't enough for me so I created my own brand of rituals, spells and tarots. And I labeled it Swan Wicca. It's my sacred practice and I don't share it. 

If I write a book of shadows in the future, I will share Swan Wicca in it. 

All in all, I try to follow and incorporate every form of witch in my life. This is reflected in the various interests in my journals. All of which are witchcraft related. My whole life is about it since I adopted Wicca 

Edited 4 minutes ago by Preety_India 

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I'm sorry I don't know much about tantra. Except for the link and info on the internet. 

I'm myself trying to explore tantric sex. So maybe in the future I will know a little more. 

Also I will try to practice tantric sex with my boyfriend somewhere in the future if he is comfortable..then I will know how it exactly works 

I'm open to sexual experimentation with him. He is as well 

 

 


 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. 

Quick access to journal entries

🍒☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️Periwinkle 🌸

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On 8/1/2020 at 3:59 AM, Preety_India said:

 

The religious aspect and witch aspect of Me

 I will give a small summary on my religious background and then proceed to explain the different types of witches.

I'm born a Hindu with some Catholic influence as a child. My father had faith in Christianity and he used to take me to church.. My school was in the church itself and the school principal was the Father of the church I used to go to. I used to pray to Christ as a child. 

When I grew up, I still retained both my Hindu and Christian roots. At some point because of a statement of Pope Francis in September 2018,I tried to look away from Christianity because I was disappointed in Pope Francis but my boyfriend Joseph who was an American Catholic encouraged me to not leave Christianity because of the Pope. So I  wandered around a bit and got into Wicca during this period. Wicca gave me a base to sustain without Christianity for some time but then I had the hunger to return to Christ. I knew my depart would be temporary. I was looking for true Christianity and not the Joel Osteen type of Christianity, that is prosperity gospel. I gave up Prosperity Gospel because it didn't serve my purpose. At the same time Martin Luther the German monk changed my view on traditional Catholicism and I decided to adopt the Lutheran style or Protestantism, my knowledge of Christianity is still not full, and I needed a strong background to return back to Christianity, that's when by accident I came across Justin Peters ministry and I became a member and then I began to follow John F. MacArthur while I was in America in early 2019. 

By May 2019, I started using Justin Peters teachings and successfully mounted myself back into Christianity, this time with a firm foundation and no false teachers or money hungry pastors. 

At the same time I realized that Wicca could be in conflict with Christianity so I stayed away from divination practices in Wicca, although currently I think it's okay to do divination and I might pursue divination in the future. 

 

The good news for me is that the attitude of Americans is changing towards Wicca and very recently the Nevada state okayed the Wiccan symbol on the grave of veteran Sgt. Patrick D. Stewart, he was a follower of the Wiccan religion. 

This article gives me hope for the future of Wiccans in America. At least the American government approved our sacred symbol 

 

https://www.nysun.com/national/feds-okay-pentagrams-for-veterans-graves/53114/

 

Witches across America are rejoicing after the Veterans Administration agreed to permit service members to have their graves at military cemeteries marked with a Wiccan symbol known as a pentacle or pentagram.

OK now I finished my background on my religious struggle.. Coming to types of witches. 

These are the main types of witches 

Kitchen witch 

Hedge witch 

Cosmic witch 

Green witch 

Garden witch 

Sea witch 

Elemental witch 

Solitary witch 

Divination witch 

Gardnerian witch 

Alexandrian witch 

Dianic witch 

Forest witch

Elven witch

Dragon Wicca.

Swan Wicca ( I'm the creator/founder of this Wicca, this is my own and personal, not that others follow) 

 

Kitchen witch - kitchen witch is an informal term for a witch who emphasizes cooking, food, and meal times in her magical practice.

Cooking 

Home routines 

Homemade offerings 

Cleansings

Protection spells 

 

Hedge witch - the Home and the hearth. She will take care of the home and main interest will be healing her home. This is a house witch. 

 

Cosmic witch - 

Astrology 

Zodiac signs 

Horoscopes 

Uses Celestial energy. 

 

I work with astrology myself. Not professional. Just for myself as a hobby. I learn about it every day. 

 

 

Green witch - loves nature and the earth

 Also called flora witch. 

Works with trees, herbs and flowers. Plants. 

Skilled herbalist and makes herbal remedies. 

Enjoys hiking /trail walking 

Loves animals and wildlife. You can see in my journals I write and post a lot about animals.. 

Enjoys gardening and wild crafting - I enjoy gardening a lot 

Environmentally friendly 

Atttune with Earth's natural cycles 

Has an apothecary full of herbs, roots and oils. 

Can have interest in fae fairies or elves. I have interest in elves. In one of my journals I have focused on different costumes and styles of elves. 

I have elven fantasies. It's a sign that I'm a forest witch. 

Sea witch - ocean, seas, lakes. My journal label Ocean Marina is about being a sea witch. It deals with working with vast water bodies and lunar magic and weather magic. 

I made a journal entry on collecting storm water for my moon magic spell. 

My tarot cards De La Luna deck that I created in my old journal deals with lunar magic. 

 

Elemental witch - The Elemental Witch, as the name implies, invokes elemental energies as an empowering force for magical goals. They use the Elemental Quartet namely Earth, Air, Water and Fire

I use all elements since I resonate with all elements. 

Under the Elemental Witch we have different categories representing different sentiments and ideas or qualities to which the witch can have an affinity or she could be  a general elemental witch like me. 

 

 

 

Solitary witch - this simply means that the witch practices her craft and magic on her own. Some witches belong to a hierarchical group called coven. I don't belong to a coven. I do my stuff alone so I'm a solitary witch. 

Solitary witches make their potions and spells and can write their own book of shadows. 

My goal is to write my own book of shadows. A grimoire is a general book that most witches follow. Right now I don't have a grimoire. I just want my own book. 

 

Divination witch - they deal with divination or fortune telling.

Tarot cards

Palmistry

I Ching 

Tasseography 

 

This interferes with my Christianity as in the Bible there are references against divination. So I only do this on a minimal scale. 

I have a pendulum which I use. But generally I work with my several tarot decks that I created in my journals 

 

Gardnerian witch - I'm a Gardnerian witch. I follow the Horned God. 

 

 

 

Dianic witch - these are similar to Gardnerian, they are more feminine and only worship goddesses. 

 

Garden witch - same as green witch, but will work more in gardens rather than open spaces. 

 

Forest witch, elf witch - this is my own category. It's similar to green witch but there I combine fantasy art of Elves into this practice. 

Alexandrian witch - this was started in the 60s by Alex and Maxine Sanders and the Gods are different from Gardnerian traditions 

Elven witch - not popular, very few witches that I was in contact with used elves as inspiration. I use this some times. 

Dragon wicca. - dragon wicca is a very rare form of Wicca which I practice. I consider a dragon my twin guardian. I created the Character  Sairys and Porsairys using   Dragon Wicca. It's somewhere lost in my journals. 

Swan Wicca - this is own personal brand of Wicca I created in the month of September/October 2018. I call it Swan Wicca.. I wasn't very satisfied with the current forms of Wicca and they weren't enough for me so I created my own brand of rituals, spells and tarots. And I labeled it Swan Wicca. It's my sacred practice and I don't share it. 

If I write a book of shadows in the future, I will share Swan Wicca in it. 

All in all, I try to follow and incorporate every form of witch in my life. This is reflected in the various interests in my journals. All of which are witchcraft related. My whole life is about it since I adopted Wicca 

Edited 4 minutes ago by Preety_India 

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I'm sorry I don't know much about tantra. Except for the link and info on the internet. 

I'm myself trying to explore tantric sex. So maybe in the future I will know a little more. 

Also I will try to practice tantric sex with my boyfriend somewhere in the future if he is comfortable..then I will know how it exactly works 

I'm open to sexual experimentation with him. He is as well 

 

 

Forgot to add hecatean or hecataine into the types. 

I'm a Hecataine as well. 

 


 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. 

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🍒☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️Periwinkle 🌸

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Asking for help is wrong? 

Asking for freedom is wrong? 

 

 

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Please god help me 

Edited by Preety_India

 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. 

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🍒☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️Periwinkle 🌸

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There is something wrong about life. 

Life is bad.. Life is horrible. 

We live in darkness. This is not life. 

We need light. We all need light 

 

We need light. 

Something needs to show us light 

 

Without that light, we are in a vicious cycle. 

A cycle of desperation 

 

 

Watch out 

Edited by Preety_India

 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. 

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🍒☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️Periwinkle 🌸

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Think about all the people who suffered. Think about their pain. 

Think about those who were lost and left behind, who were suffering, deprived, helpless with nowhere to turn. 

When I think about them I get tears in my eyes. 

I think that as humans we are too physical to deal with life. 

And life is a deeply spiritual phenomenon. 

And we as physical beings are not equipped to deal with it.

Edited by Preety_India

 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. 

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🍒☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️Periwinkle 🌸

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She is not empowered enough to understand her worth. 

 


 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. 

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🍒☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️Periwinkle 🌸

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Why is the internet so cheap? 

 

 


 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. 

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🍒☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️Periwinkle 🌸

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@Preety_India "  Now he proceeded to open my legs and forced himself inside. I hadn't seen a penis in real life before this. It appeared really hard and tight. The penetration wasn't happening quick, maybe because I was a virgin so I guess the vagina was very tight. He just went on thrusting himself into me. Finally he was able to force more after a couple of attempts. I was drenched wet. There was semen all over me, on my anus, on my back, on my belly, on my vagina. My vision was blurry and I was too exhausted."

 

This is what girls like?

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1 minute ago, coca said:

@Preety_India "  Now he proceeded to open my legs and forced himself inside. I hadn't seen a penis in real life before this. It appeared really hard and tight. The penetration wasn't happening quick, maybe because I was a virgin so I guess the vagina was very tight. He just went on thrusting himself into me. Finally he was able to force more after a couple of attempts. I was drenched wet. There was semen all over me, on my anus, on my back, on my belly, on my vagina. My vision was blurry and I was too exhausted."

 

This is what girls like?

You won't understand any of it if you're not a woman. 

Woman don't like it or want it

 

But the body gives its hormonal responses even during a rape attempt. 

If a man touches my breasts, my breasts will be aroused by touch, even if I don't like it, and even if I didn't consent for it. 

I DID NOT UNDERSTAND AT THAT TIME THAT IT WAS RAPE. I WAS TOO NAIVE. I FELL IN LOVE WITH WHATEVER HE USED TO SAY TO ME. HE WAS USING ME FOR SEX. 

IT WAS ONLY YEARS LATER THAT I REALIZED THAT IT WAS RAPE AND ABUSE. 

 


 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. 

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🍒☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️Periwinkle 🌸

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@coca he raped me. Obviously because he forced himself onto me. That's not pump and dump. It was without consent. 

He had a relationship with me that didn't feel right.. 

I dumped him after 6 months of emotional hell.. I realized that he only wanted me for sex because he wasn't ready for relationships mentally. 

But I was naive and did  not understand the difference between rape and sex. 

It was my first experience with anything physical.. So I had no idea what consent meant. 

It's like being sexual to a child. 

I was not a child, yet I didn't know much about sex because of my conservative upbringing. 

 


 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. 

Quick access to journal entries

🍒☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️Periwinkle 🌸

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