Preety_India

My name is Preety, not Pretty !!

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Joseph was like Magick 

October 2018 

Joseph tells me that he needs to find a new place post eviction. 

So I began hunting a house again for him in Seattle. 

Joseph responded to an ad close to Everett. 

He went, there were a couple of white dudes living there with an Asian landlord. 

Joseph immediately signed. Paid cash and moved in. 

I had sent a golden rose as a gift to Joseph. He forgot to collect it on his way out. He left his laptop at Ypgjifs and went to the new place. 

I was a bit upset that he didn't carry the laptop with him but I was still glad that he found another place. 

Joseph had asked Rebecca to help him find the new place and that's when she denied and he called her a bit*ch and she  blocked him 

 

By November Joseph was all set in the new place. 


 INTP loner... .shy girl.. The devil loves me a bit too much. 

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Joseph was like Magick 

November 2018 

I was very unhappy after knowing that Joseph had shown interest in another woman meanwhile I was always by his side. He had apologized to me and told me that he would never do that again. 

I was feeling overwhelmed by the stress of these events and mainly by the emotional stress from Joseph's constant name calling me. The name calling was very regular and it was getting unbearable to even talk to him. 

My stress levels going very high and by then I had started overeating to get comfort in food. 

Whenever Joseph called me a fat pig, I used to have a very heavy meal to feel better. 

I began to eat a lot. I just wanted to feel okay. I wanted to feel better. 

Eating compensated as a coping mechanism against Joseph's emotionally abusive behavior. 

I started getting fatter and fatter. 

Then suddenly I lost weight. 

I gained weight again 

The overwhelming stress of our fights gave me insomnia. My health was completely out. 

I was staring into death.. My body would feel heavy. And sometimes I would feel like I was going to get a heart attack simply by the stress Joseph was putting me through. 

By December I had become overweight. 

He would start a fight over little things, even if I hadn't said anything at all, he would take offense and then proceed to attack me verbally and when I protested he would get aggressive. 

If I called him, he would block me. 

I came back to India in November last week 2018 to have a short break. 

That time my family was with me and we decided to go on a short vacation in December 2018. 

I was very unhappy during this trip. I returned from the trip in the last week of December. 

I had told Joseph to not call me back 

By December last week I had decided that I wanted to break up with Joseph 

I told him that I'm not coming to America at all. 

I told him that I was too upset 

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl.. The devil loves me a bit too much. 

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Joseph was like Magick 

December 2018 and January 2019 

I cried a lot during the entire last week of December. I was fed up with Joseph's homelessness and his abuse and the constant feeling that he didn't love me. 

It just didn't feel right. 

The abuse was too much. 

When I told him that I was breaking up, he gave me a death threat. He told me that he will find me in India and he will kill me. 

He knew where I was living 

 

I told him that it wasn't okay. I told him that I will never come to America. 

I didn't talk to him after that. 

By first week of January Joseph started contacting me again. Begging me to return to America. 

He was telling me that he will change 

I was too tired and I started to get health complications from my insomnia and weight gain. 

. My heart was having a problem. The doctors were telling me to control the stress levels.. 

In Seattle my aunt called me back to be with her. 

So I flew to America to be with her again. 

This time my mom wasn't with me. She was back in India. 

Joseph had won me back again and we started talking and meeting once again. 

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl.. The devil loves me a bit too much. 

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Joseph was like Magick 

February 2019. 

I was back with Joseph. 

This time things were okay but I was sensing some danger early on. 

I didn't believe his death threats. I never took it seriously. 

I always thought he was joking. 

It was March 2 2019. It was his birthday. 

I ordered a cake for Joseph.. 

A large blue colored cake 

I wanted to give him a surprise but he was too lazy to wake up. 

When he wouldn't wake up I kinda forced him to get up and see. 

He flew into a rage, his normal bipolar narcissistic rage and he screamed at me calling me bit*ch again very loudly and lot of profanities. 

I broke down and cried and I couldn't take it anymore.. 

I went online to seek help and there was a woman on a website whose name was Tracey and she offered me help. She was a British woman. 

She told me that Joseph was using me for his advantage as a emotional crutch and nothing more. 

My heart sank. I kept looking at the cake I had ordered for him. 

Later he apologized about the cake incident. I forgave him but the words of the British woman were always in the back of my mind. 

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl.. The devil loves me a bit too much. 

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Joseph was like Magick 

April May 2019. 

By the end of April I was already contemplating breaking up with Joseph. This was probably my 4th or 5th attempt to break up with him. I was already tired of this relationship. It felt like I was a service doll to him. It didn't feel like a relationship. 

My only job was to serve him whenever he needed me and be there for him like a nurse maid.. 

I loved him truly and immensely and I think this was the reason why I was ready to put up with so much pain and struggle with him. 

I wasn't giving up too quick. 

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl.. The devil loves me a bit too much. 

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Joseph was like Magick 

May 2019 

We had an argument again over something . 

Joseph was living with Rob, Doug  Mick and Larren. . Something happened. Larren was acting crazy. Mick was constantly at Josephs throat. 

Doug had a physical fight with Joseph and warned him that he would call the cops.. 

Rob was a druggie who would collapse every now and then. 

Doug would talk about rape and murder. 

Doug  had stolen Joseph's pizza when he was sleeping and when Joseph confronted Doug, Doug told Joseph that a rat must have eaten the pizza. This was obviously a lie because there were no rats there and the pizza didn't seem to be eaten by rats.. 

When Joseph caught Doug  in his lies, Doug  got violent and threw a punch at Joseph's chest and injured him. 

Joseph let the incident pass. 

By now Rebecca was acting up again 

She wanted to create some more drama as though the divorce wasn't enough. 

 

Edited by Preety_India

 INTP loner... .shy girl.. The devil loves me a bit too much. 

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Joseph was like Magick 

May 2019 

Rick was acting crazy. He was an old man. 

 

He would write silly little chits of paper and stick them as notices on Joseph's door. And sort of threaten Joseph to leave.. This was because Lou was egging Rick to somehow get Joseph out. 

I was very tired of the drama and the stress was too much to deal with. 

Rebecca decided to remove Joseph's last name from Matty's name.. Rebecca wanted her son to not have any presence of his dad in his life. This was very evil of Rebecca. 

Obviously Joseph wasn't gonna have his son not have his name. 

I wasn't having this. I told Joseph that no matter what Matty was not going to lose his name. This was just too much. I told Joseph that this was the time that he needs to put his foot down. 

I knew how much Joseph loved his Matty. He was his only son separated from him by an evil ex wife. And now she was preparing to completely eliminate Joseph  from his son's life. 

I knew that if Joseph was separated from his son, he would commit suicide. He was already suffering PTSD from the divorce and this separation from his son was causing him to have fits of rage combined with suicidal depression. He was on meds 

I told Joseph that enough is enough. He agreed.

He decided to go to court and protest Rebecca's name changing decision. 

 

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl.. The devil loves me a bit too much. 

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Joseph was like Magick 

Joseph was the true love of my life 

 We were soulmates. 

Although he was abusive with me, I loved him deeply. I knew that his abusive behavior was coming from his abusive mom, his deadbeat dad, his evil ex wife who had lied to the cops about domestic violence and gotten him falsely arrested, and then took his home and abandoned him to die and separated his son from him. For Joseph his son was everything. Since his own father had abandoned Joseph when was just 2 years old, Joseph always wanted to be a dad more than anything in his life. He wanted his son, to hold him, to love him,, to be a dad to him and he didn't want his son to grow up and feel the way he did when he was growing up. 

He wanted to his own father when he was 13 for abandoning him as a child. 

He didn't want his son to grow up with the same trauma 

And now Rebecca was taking from Joseph what he needed the most, his son.. 

Rebecca lied to Joseph's family and also turned his own family against him. 

I was the only source of support for Joseph and that's why I didn't want to leave him but it was getting increasingly harder on me to put up with his abuse and lack of love. 

Sure I would have wanted to support him all my life but not in the capacity of a girlfriend, because as his girlfriend, there was no respect in the relationship, he was always abusive and I was always crying and this wasn't healthy. 

But when I fell in love with Joseph, i had prayed to God that me and him meet in heaven if not on earth. 

He was truly the man I loved. I was ready to forgive all his abuse for one moment in eternity to be with him. 

I wanted to tattoo his name on my body. 

We were like Romeo and Juliette. Never together never apart. 

We weren't destined to be together but in my heart I know that some day soulmates will meet in another world.. 

Joseph was the only man I dreamed of as my man. Andrew is a great guy and I love him as well, but it is nowhere as beautiful as it was with Joseph. 

Joseph was like Magick. It was a incredibly painful relationship but it was an unforgettable romance of my life. 

I always believed that If I was born in this world, I should experience true love at  least once and this was it. 

Joseph had surpassed all of my exes. His love for me great. This was visible in times when he wasn't abusive. The love and sex we had was heavenly. 

His passion for me was never ending 

 He loved me like no other. 

 

 

 

 

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl.. The devil loves me a bit too much. 

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Joseph was like Magick 

May 2019

One day I told Joseph that if I ever die, I would want to be buried next to his grave. That would be a way to be united with him in spirit. 

It was May. We had an argument over Mick. Then Joseph said something like "why don't you eat his d" ck? "

I was furious. He said he was simply joking. But he was being a douche. 

I told him it was not okay to make mean sexual jokes with me. He kept repeating that it was just a joke. I told him to stop being a douche. And served him an ultimatum. 

This was May 7. I had enough. 

I decided to walk out for good.. But then the thought of the court case. 

Joseph was due to appear in court on May 23.

I thought to myself - I can't leave him at this time. He needs me. He needs my support. But okay. Once this court thing is over with, I will confront Joseph and break up for good. Final time to breakup.. 

I decided to wait till his court case to give him the final news 

The day came and Joseph was happy. 

I was having a happy day. 

And suddenly the phone rang. 

It was Joseph. Breathing heavily. I asked "what?" 

He said he was being arrested once again. 

I couldn't believe my ears. 

This was just the beginning of my nightmare. 

 

Edited by Preety_India

 INTP loner... .shy girl.. The devil loves me a bit too much. 

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Joseph was like Magick 

Continued 

And suddenly the phone rang. 

It was Joseph. Breathing heavily. I asked "what?" 

He said he was being arrested once again. 

I couldn't believe my ears. 

This was just the beginning of my nightmare. 

Joseph told me that he got arrested again. 

I couldn't take it. 

Initially I asked him how and why.. 

And I immediately told him to calm down because he was crying. I told him that everything would be okay. 

They told him to surrender the phone. He had only 1 minute. He said to me "I love you" 

And there was dead silence after that. 

I felt calm and reactionless for a while. I was just trying to process what had just happened. 

After an hour, I got a knot in my stomach. 

My anxiety spiralled out of control. 

I started getting non stop panic attacks. 

It was the time of night 

I was heaving and gasping. 

I didn't sleep at all. 

The next day I started to contact anyone who knew Joseph, I contacted Rob. No reply. 

I contacted Jeff. No reply. 

I contacted the Corrections office or the County Jail.. No one picks up 

I was frustrated. 

I went on websites to gather information on how to track a person in jail. 

I wanted to post bail. I had no idea about bail, bond or jail. These words were alien to me. 

None of my family members had ever been to jail, never, not even a traffic ticket. 

The word jail had never even existed in our family conversations. 

Then a gnawing feeling came over me. 

Nauseating.... 

This feeling was, "how in the world Preety are you going to explain this to your mom? “ how?????????? 

I was very tensed. I didn't know what to do. I stopped eating. 

My anxiety caused me to feel a deep pounding and sweating. 

I was sweating throughout the day and my body would feel heavy. 

My heart was pounding 

I had no idea what to tell my mom. What if she finds out from my relatives. 

By now my relatives and family in America had begun to have some doubts about me. The suicide attempt had left a scar on my body and it didn't go unnoticed. When they talked about it, I simply said that I received some cuts and bruises over broken glass.. 

I was searching alll day long through the records to see if I can find something. 

I called Everett police department. 

I didn't know much about these police departments or corrections departments because I was too new to all of this. This is the first time I learned the difference between jail and prison. 

Finally I found it.. 

I thought he would be released the next day. I was hoping. 

To my horror, the column read "Felony B"...... 

My heart just sank. Since I had watched some crime shows I at least knew that Felony was something big. 

I immediately looked up. I wanted to know more. 

It showed that felony charges can be 1 year in prison. It was minimum. 

Now I was extremely anxious. My anxiety shot through the roof.

Never in my life had I experienced or known what it feels like when a partner, boyfriend or spouse goes to jail or prison 

I was never prepared for this. 

His previous arrest claims were past incidents and they were simply words spoken. But this was an actual experience. 

I was waiting for a breakup after the court thing but now this. 

It felt like a nightmare ride through hell. 

Plus the American jail and prison system is extremely secretive about even little things like docket numbers or case numbers or any mention. There is zero help given to relatives or family members of the person arrested. Everything needs a lawyer. 

Whenever I called any department they would simply reject or tell me to speak to a lawyer. 

It felt like the Justice Department was like a big tower sealed from all sides and there was no way to get in. 

They are completely closed off to the public. Anything happens, it only happens in court with lawyers. Before that, zero information. 

Apparently Joseph had a bail lawyer who was supposed to help him with all the procedures and she had contacted me but I had missed her message. 

Then I finally get a reply from Jeff. I tell him that the bail amount is $2000. He tells me "just relax okay, that's not the amount you need to pay, you only have to post 10% of it. Don't worry, I will post bail for him. I will take care of this and get back to you." 

I was relieved. For the first time in nearly 5 days of absolute terror, someone at least spoke to me. 

Then I received a message from Rob. I immediately called Rob and explained him everything. Rob was being a douche and he said " sorry I can't do anything about this" and hung up. 

I still felt better knowing that something will come out of this. At least Jeff was going to post the bail. So I thought. 

It was another 3 days. I was without food, no sleep and feeling completely drained and anxious and on edge.. 

I wanted just a modicum of assurance that nothing bad would happen to Joseph.. 

I was thinking whether to call Jeff or not. 

 

 

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl.. The devil loves me a bit too much. 

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Joseph was like Magick

It sounded a bit preposterous that Jeff wasn't saying anything. He had promised me that he would bail out Joseph and that he would get back to me. 

But it was 3 days and still no news from Jeff. 

Jeff was a young guy, the same age as Joseph, both were friends from a long time and he was a wealthy guy, he owned a ranch and a mansion. 

Joseph used to speak highly of him. This caused me to trust Jeff a lot. 

I was apprehensive. I didn't want to sound too needy to Jeff. Because then who knows he might just block me or not be ready to help Joseph. 

But my impatience was growing. I really wanted Jeff to speak up about my boyfriend. 

Joseph had always told me that Jeff was a very loyal friend to him and if anything happened to Joseph, he had always told me to contact Jeff. That's what I did. 

Then out of impatience I finally message Jeff. I ask him politely about the bail situation or if he was contacted by Joseph in jail or any damn news 

He told me that there was nothing and no reason to worry, that he would never be in prison because of his medical condition and that he would be free very soon. 

I was a bit relieved after this Reassurance.

Edited by Preety_India

 INTP loner... .shy girl.. The devil loves me a bit too much. 

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Joseph was like Magick

It was 10 days now. No news. 

I had become a total zombie. I wasn't myself anymore... 

Days of not eating, not sleeping and constant anxiety had driven me mentally insane.. 

I didn't talk to anyone. If anyone asked me anything I simply stared at them. I became a basket case. 

My family said to me "you don't look normal anymore, what the hell has happened to you" 

The next day I get a call from a close family member, an important person from my family and the voice said on the phone "don't have relationships with people who go to jail okayyyyy" 

My jaw dropped. Was this just a coincidence? How does this person know that I am dating someone? How does this person know that he is in jail? Did this person spy on me? Did this person spy on Joseph? I was dumbfounded. 

In retrospect I think that person simply had an intuition and they felt like wanting to protect me. 

I was numb 

 


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Joseph was like Magick

I gave up. By the 14th day I simply gave up. I was sullen, depressed, melancholic, listening to sad songs. 

I had given up. My strength went out. My light went out. I wanted to support Joseph but I didn't want this relationship. It was too much too deal with emotionally. 

I had become miserable. I knew it was over. 

What was I going to tell my family. Of course I could have lied to them about his previous arrests but how could I lie about this one. How could I have told them that he was currently in jail 

 

 


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Joseph was like Magick

Joseph was finally released from jail but it was too late for me. 

The moment he was out he immediately called me. First he had called to talk to his son. Then he called me. I was cold on the phone. He felt a bit unnerved. He didn't understand my cold response. 

I simply told him I was too tired. So he didn't bug me anymore and we both went to sleep. 

The next few days I was avoiding Joseph. I was too traumatized 

 I finally began eating.. I had lost a lot of weight during this period by not eating and too much stress.. 

Joseph was not understanding what was going on. He was looking gaunt. He had lost weight in jail because he didn't want to eat the food plus what they served was too little. 

I wasn't ready to meet him. 

Joseph didn't say much and I finally texted him that I need to go and that I'm done. 

 

And I blocked him. 

Nothing happened. 

I thought he would kill me if I really left. 

4 days went by. Still nothing. I breathed a sigh of relief. It was over. 

At last it was over. Over for the sake of my mental health.. 

I felt guilty for leaving him. I felt like I betrayed him. 

But it was still better than being with him. I had already decided that I needed to break ties with him and so I did.. There was no other way. 

I needed some sanity in life. 

Few days go by and I began to feel better. More sleep and then the anxiety slowly weaned. 

I thought Joseph had moved on.. 

 

 


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Joseph was like Magick

I was trying to mend my life and get it back on track. 

And I spent the next few days watching movies. Just to relax and chill. 

One night I was relaxing. It was June 17..I suddenly got a notification on my phone. I checked and it was Rob. This was at night. 

The message was "Joseph wants to know if you're doing ok" 

I didn't reply to this text. I simply kept quiet. I didn't want this anymore. 

After some time, I checked my phone again and there were a bunch of messages from Joseph. 

They read like 

"hey hun" 

"I'm sorry" 

"please preety forgive me" 

"I really love you and I miss you" 

"God, are you okay, I'm worried sick." 

 


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Joseph was like Magick

Since he was blocked, he had texted me from some other number. 

I thought maybe I should just let him know that I'm doing fine. 

I unblocked him on my phone and I texted him that I was doing okay. 

I wished him well.. 

Joseph was like hmmm. 

Well Joseph wasn't the kind of guy who simply takes a no for an answer.. 

He called me right away and then the verbal assault began. 

He was furious, absolutely furious. I had no idea he was furious. 

I was trying to calm him down. 

No avail. 

He shouted loudly. His voice was the loudest ever. He yelled into the phone. I couldn't bear it.. He was hurling abuses.. Calling me 'bi*tch' and blaming me for leaving him.. He was a mess. I couldn't understand what he was saying because he was so loud and fast and his words were all garbled. It was full on bipolar fury..

It felt like a torrent. Like Tourettes.. 

He kept swearing non stop. Death threats. He kept repeating death threats and I was listening in silence. 

For the first time in my relationship with him, I had seen him this angry at me..

I didn't care if he wanted to kill me. I would have gladly died by his hands rather than my own. 

I just wanted him to calm down. 

 


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Joseph was like Magick

After his long abusive rant over the phone, I explained him why I left. I told him that I was deeply unhappy with him. I didn't want things to be this way. 

I calmed him 

Then he was kissing me over the phone and begged me to meet him. 

He said he just couldn't imagine living without me. 

I wanted him to just focus on his future.. I was so sexually attracted to Joseph that whenever he wanted me in his bed, I was in his bed. 

I decided to forgive him. But I had my doubts.. I wanted to know why he was arrested. I wanted to know that first. 

For a long time I had always believed that Joseph was innocent in all his previous arrests. He told me that he had never been violent and all charges were false.. 

But this time things were different. I had seen a felony B on his record which was later reduced to a misdemeanor.. 

This time I was very scared. I thought he would be going to prison for a year 

Joseph calmed me and proceeded to explain me that it was all a conspiracy 

 

 

 


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Joseph was like Magick

Joseph told me that there was a conspiracy to get him arrested falsely. 

That Yogjif had falsely accused him of violent threats and there was a pending warrant against him that he wasn't aware of. 

I told Joseph that I can't handle his arrests. If we have to marry then the first thing that needs to be done is that he needs to stop being violent. Whether he is or is not, he shouldn't go to jail. 

I sympathized with his false arrests.

 

I gave Joseph an ultimatum. If he were to be arrested again, I was going to leave him for good.. 

I wasn't ready to suffer trauma again. 

I had already suffered enough. 

Joseph convinced me that it won't happen again. I told him to not get into fights with people again. 

He told me that he will mend his ways and control his bipolar rage and seek therapy. I was glad. 

I met Joseph in July and the instant we met we had sex. It was irresistible. Every time I saw him and he saw me, there was an instant pull, I couldn't resist. I wanted his physical intimacy so much. 

He loved my body. That's what he always told me. He liked my curves. He would be very affectionate during sex. Spanking me. We used to kiss each other for fairly long periods of time. I used to orgasm multiple times whenever we had sex. He used to cum all over me. I loved it and enjoyed it. Sex with Joseph was the best sex I ever had. He absolutely knew what turned me on. His touch was heavenly. Just his touch would turn me on. He was a passionate kisser.. 

And he would smile at me during sex. He was a perfect gentleman in the bed. He never did anything inappropriate. He never forced me or raped me like one of my exes in India. 

After sex he would snuggle up to me and and we would hug each other tight and drift into sleep. 

We were lovebirds again.. 

I began dreaming about marrying Joseph. But how to tell my family.. If I told them they would instantly do an instant background verification on him. And they wouldn't have agreed. 

 

 

 

 


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Joseph was like Magick

July 2019

Now we were back together. 

Joseph was very sweet and doting. He was being adorable.. I felt like this is the Joseph I really wanted to be with. Caring gentle loving.. 

Joseph told me that the jail experience had changed him. He won't ever get into fights again and control his anger around people. He didn't want to be this tough guy anymore roughing up bad guys.. He wanted to leave all that

 

His Italian roots had taught him to be this macho guy. But he was done playing the big macho guy role. 

Now he wanted to be gentle and sweet and start a new life with me. 

I was extremely happy.. Finally our dreams will come true. I will be his bride. He will be my husband, my lover, my friend, my companion for life. Nothing could be better than this. 

I would have taken Joseph to meet my parents. 

I was ready for things to get better. 

However...... 

Things weren't so rosy as I had imagined. 

Everything was beautiful for the first three weeks of July. 

It was the last week. 

I wasn't feeling good. I knew something was not right. 

 

 


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Joseph was like Magick

Last week of July 2019 and August 

The last week revealed what was to come. 

Joseph began to show anger again. 

We had a minor disagreement and he lashed out me in the same abusive manner.. 

I went out for a walk to chill myself. I wanted to be in complete peace. I told Joseph that. I no longer wanted his drama. 

It was August. 

Joseph began complaining about Rick and Warren and Rob. 

Joseph told me that they were conspiring against him and that they were taking advantage of his recent arrest.. 

The situation was getting bad. He didn't want to end up homeless again. 

I was getting sick and tired of all this. 

This was the middle of August. I had suffered an injury while walking on a pavement. 

I wanted some rest. I also wanted to speak to my family about my marriage with Joseph and get things together. 

It was August 23. I wasn't able to walk because of my injury. 

This last week was bizzare. I had absolutely no energy. 

 

 

Edited by Preety_India

 INTP loner... .shy girl.. The devil loves me a bit too much. 

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