Models - Mark Manson 10/10

[Kalki Avatar]

This book is focused towards dating but it can be applied in all of your life areas. Its focused toward neediness. If you are always seeking aproval or worried about others opinions, this book explains neediness very well on a mental level so you can then transitition it into a more spiritual and contemplative manner. 

Neediness is caused by false beliefs in lack and these beliefs are guided by lack motivations that are often unconcious and continually conditioned towards you by society. 

I have become very non needy in the past and fallen into neediness again because of society invisible influences. If you are not enlightened yet, you will have to watch your inner frames (values, ethics and motivations) constantly. People will want to make you fit, dont fall for it, is not worth it. I have lived both sides and still prefer to be a prisioner who is inwardly free than a modern slave conditioned by society bullshit. 

Being vulnerable and accepting your neediness is the first step towards non neediness because if you try to improve non neediness this action implies you need something, thus making you feel needy. But, by simply being and not trying, you can also start to improve/actualize/change yourself by a true desire of inspiration and not lack. Its a paradox you will have to understand. Another ironical thing is that when you accept yourself, people tend to accept you. 

Also, you dont need to go crazy dating lots of women and get experience necesarily to stop being needy with them. First of all, realize they are a person just like you and their beauty is just their main asset. Land them from those clouds. They shit and pee worst than you. Before and after a date, you want to see if you like her, not the other way around. There are alot of needy manipulative women aswell. 

From my experience, primal biological sex is not that worthwile. I have played the alpha role and is not worth it, not if you want something deeper. Not if you are awake. Alphas are big kids. Thats all. Its just animalistic empty expression. 

Sex from a place of deep connection, values and personality match is alot more fulfilling. Its just that the idea of being alpha macho and Fucking loT of girls has alot of social proof and is overrated. Which is an attractive idea to influence and condition your unconcious mind. 

Planned sex is ok. But good sex is spontaneaous. If both of you are getting along dont hurry anything, it will happen. Unlearn and let go the advice of hurry up or you will loose her, thats needy! Its coming from a fearful motivation of lack. Both of you should get transported and seduced to a total imaginary place out of this world, with no rush or expectation, making love. 

Leo has spoken about this long time ago in his dating videos and I got him but i also didnt got him fully. Now I do. 

Im not saying being alpha is bad, its ok. Theres more to it. Authenticity/Honesty. Be feminine and masculine at the same time. (and when I say be feminine is not necesarily to be gay lol. You can be feminine in a seductive way). Is fulfilling and it makes sex alot more deeply fullfiling. You probably have only felt pleasure in your dick and havent activated your sexual energy through your whole body. I think thats what a super saiyan may feel like. 

If you feel you need to carefully think what to say before going to a girl, you are being needy. The fearful motivation of rejection is there and this implies to your subconcious that you need to impress her because you are not enough as you are at that moment, you are not accepting yourself and being authentic and vulnerable to the possibility of rejection. You just dont want to see it and accept it. You must, and if rejection happens it will be ok for both. Get real and move on. 

I have gone fullcircle contemplating all aspects of social dynamics, dating, persuasion and the mind. Here is my conclusion.

I started practicing alphaness through control (neediness) it doesnt need to be high or constantly shown but still needy.  Yes, there are things under your control like your habits, appareance, money, strength etc. And still you can do this things from a place of seeking validation so watch your subconcious motivations. After that, all type of trying to control is complete neediness. The vast 97% of puas are needy. This gives result but only for a short term and survival based place. Manipulation is a low level survival strategy. You will get sex but not the one you are dreaming of. 

I have learned from the most devilish puas from persuasion to hypnosis to chakras, body language, deception, etc. And how women operate completely. This info is useful to have as a bigger spectrum and to defend yourself. Other than that is needy. 

High quality fullfilling game may look something like this: 80% Authenticity combined with higher value coming from a place of inspiration. 10% understanding women. And the rest on being socially aware in the present moment. (Presence is crucial). 

Theres alot more to talk about neediness, but this a good place to start. 

 

 

Edited May 15, 2020 by Kalki Avatar

[28 cm unbuffed]

Quote

High quality fullfilling game may look something like this: 80% Authenticity combined with higher value coming from a place of inspiration. 10% understanding women. And the rest on being socially aware in the present moment. (Presence is crucial). 

Theres alot more to talk about neediness, but this a good place to start. 

What do you mean by inspiration in regards to dating? Something like: "Wow, this girl is really amazing", not "she's ok, we can maybe bang a couple of times"? Or does it go even deeper than that? 

Everything (including neediness) in life is, in my opinion, is choosing either inspiration or desperation, love or fear, power, or force.

Edited May 15, 2020 by 28 cm unbuffed

[Kalki Avatar]

Yes, thats exactly what I mean by inspiration. 

You can be inspired to fuck her a couple of times if thats what you truly want. Just be self honest. Maybe your motivation is just to practice. Just watch you dont want to fuck her because thats all you can get. But more to the idea watch how you feel. If you feel needy because you tell yourself you truly want something, theres a lie hidden. Find the true reason. Then proceed. I personally just want to fck high quality girls who I can relate deeply, stimulate me and just be my self. Find your values. And remember great sex involves mind and emotional stimulation. Not attachment, but connection. Win-win. 

We are the ones even by default already being complete, tend to unconsciously choose desperation and force, thus leading to feel lack. 

Its when you accept however you feel in this moment and are vulnerable to accept the possibility of other people rejecting, critizicing and making Fun of you. But, being authentic is something to practice. You may feel authentic for a while and fall back into the needy trap to impress and fit in because of unconcious momentum. There has to be a transition from this momentum based on lack to constant authenticity moment to moment. It will be painful to release and accept those lies and negative emotions, but thats the price. And then after this, is when you can make true authentic change just for the sake of it. 

Neediness is a very tricky thing just as most things from a dual perspective. You might stop feeling needy for a while and fall back into it unknowingly and think you must change something rooted in your subconcious thus making you feel more needy to stop the neediness, when all you had to do was accept that and see the truth of it. Although, when you stop being needy this does not mean there are not more deep rooted beliefs in your unconcious that might pop in another situation. You will get the hand of it through observation of your mind. Its just a matter of accepting the painful truth of our lies and emotions and staying vulnerable/authentic to yourself not others expectations. Why? Because your unconscious mechanism is always trying to help you survive, so out of your awareness its always trying to pull you into lies and fitting in the norm. Your survival is against all trascendental/actualizing work, but ironically its what will make you survive better. 

Edited May 15, 2020 by Kalki Avatar