Kshantivadin

Regrets having gone the spiritual path so early ( 20 years old)

31 posts in this topic

It feels like knowing Santa isn't real too soon.

Because of these kinds of thoughts I'm having a feeling of regret/doubt of going even deeper.

On the one hand, it's so amazing and so much more and richer than anything I would've imagined or that my life would be without a spiritual practice. On the other, I feel like I see too much in certain situations. Can't I just be an ignorant young human being for a moment? Not that I'm not ignorant as fuck, but not seeing some things would be pleasant, at least for a little more while.

Life's so fucking transient and groundless, nothing to hold onto. Not even a fucking self. It's all a fucking dream, what happened today? Gone! GONE!

To be honest, I'm writing this post having clung to ONE feeling which led into a series of thoughts. It's just like one unit of experience to which I gave priority over other units of experience and now I'm creating a narrative. I SEE MYSELF doing all of this. Yet I decided to carry on.

I want to feel like I know at least something about this universe. But I fucking don't, I'm clueless. I want to feel like there is a me in all this. And I want, most out of all, for SOMETHING, something to be solid in this reality!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 minutes ago, Kshantivadin said:

Life's so fucking transient and groundless, nothing to hold onto. Not even a fucking self. It's all a fucking dream, what happened today? Gone! GONE!

To be honest, I'm writing this post having clung to ONE feeling which led into a series of thoughts. It's just like one unit of experience to which I gave priority over other units of experience and now I'm creating a narrative. I SEE MYSELF doing all of this. Yet I decided to carry on.

I want to feel like I know at least something about this universe. But I fucking don't, I'm clueless. I want to feel like there is a me in all this. And I want, most out of all, for SOMETHING, something to be solid in this reality!

You have billions of life brother. Let one be like that. And go with the flow. Lol. Just fly. Let the body feels, you feel as nothing as god. And you are not alive so nothing to lose :) 

Edited by James123

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ego´s problems. Not yours.


Embrace the game

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is why i have decided to do spirtuality after having a life purpose and i'm done going after girls. I have decided to go a different path and use maslow pyramide as a map. I have decided to satify my egoic survival stuff like money, passion, sex, relationship, confident and self self esteem before going for spirtuality.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
29 minutes ago, Peo said:

This is why i have decided to do spirtuality after having a life purpose and i'm done going after girls. I have decided to go a different path and use maslow pyramide as a map. I have decided to satify my egoic survival stuff like money, passion, sex, relationship, confident and self self esteem before going for spirtuality.

Why you have to choose?

Is as simple as becoming more conscious and the mind will start behaving differently. Is not that you start spirituality and you have to restrain yourself from having fun or making money. Is just that maybe you stop being so much interested in that stuff.

In the same way, If after a long meditation retreat, you still want to go "after girls", then what´s the problem? Maybe it´s what the body exactly needs at that moment.

Really I can´t understand you guys when you talk like you have to choose between spirituality vs material stuff. Idk for me it seems much simpler than that.


Embrace the game

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Kshantivadin congrats on making it early to the party! haha. Many of us here are much older and would have loved to have stumbled upon this earlier.

Although, I do empathise with what you are saying. Having been young and gone thorough all the deluded deceptive activities in my youth, I can say they have informed me of many principles I feel I would not have come to realise having not experience them. That said, I feel you should indulge in what your ego desires now and again, just don’t over do it. If you’ve been fortunate enough to come across this information, consider your so self blessed. Many people will never even provided the opportunities to see the possibilities that are indicative in this work.

Don’t be so hard on yourself, live a balanced life. Be young and learn the principles that are necessary, but also adopt some of the powerful practices that are shared here. You have come here at the right time ?

Here if you need.

Edited by Jacobsrw

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, it can be a bit of a crisis in the beginning, but as you begin to unwrap more and more of the Truth you'll see the benefit. You'll thank God every single day for your life and for the power to create what you ACTUALLY want. Living consciously brings great levels of peace and deep satisfaction with life.

You will have a beautiful life for yourself and it will be even more beautiful than you can imagine right now. The spiritual path isn't all about deprivation. It's about creation and that means creating your life from the dreams and inspirations that God (yourself) has put into you. This is the greatest adult playground! It's like finding out that magic is real and that you're the one holding the wand! You can become whomever you want to be! Everything is achievable!

You become deeply loving of yourself, of others, of all of creation! You begin to appreciate everything, even the stuff that seems questionable right now. You start to see how everything happens for a reason and that every person who enters your life is part of your purpose! It's like those kids books that pop up when you open them and then you can keep unfolding it more and more, and open the little doors, and peek behind the curtains and new things just keep popping up to dazzle you all the time! You see life as an incredible adventure waiting to be navigated by you, it's Creator!

If that means a big house and a 10/10 partner, then that's the life God has for you! LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE! You're learning the whole time so if something doesn't work for you, no sweat, create something better from that. It's about creating your reality into Heaven on Earth!

Don't despair! It's a beautiful gift to begin at 20!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Before Enlightenment - Chop wood, carry water.

After Enlightenment - Chop wood, carry water.

Whether you pursue it or not it won't matter anyways. It comes full circle and you'll always end up where you started.

That leaves you with but one thing to do - live your life :)


"Given enough explosives any moron can blow up a building, don't YOU wanna be that moron?"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Life itself is a spiritual path. You're just adding the label to it now. Your life before was also on the path. We are all on the path, whether we know it or not. 


Love Is The Answer
www.instagram.com/ev3rSunny

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Roy :x

Well said! 
 

@Kshantivadin Sounds like you’re just in a limbo seeking phase atm, we’ve all been there. 
 

Keep going, you’re too deep in to just forget it all now and become your average 20 year old, I’m your age and had the same thoughts when I was like 17/18 as spirituality isn’t always a walk in the park. 
 

How about this- 

Awaken, and live the best life possible from your understanding. Still go out and party, and see friends, get a job etc, but it all comes from Expressing happiness, not chasing it, and comes from a place of love and enjoyment not lack, so at least in my experience, life has been 99999999x more enjoyable post awakening. But, it wasn’t always like that so I empathise with you. 
 

Keep going. It is worth it. 


'One is always in the absolute state, knowingly or unknowingly for that is all there is.' Francis Lucille. 

'Peace and Happiness are inherent in Consciousness.' Rupert Spira 

“Your own Self-Realization is the greatest service you can render the world.” Ramana Maharshi

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Kshantivadin

 

The problem is, your far enough to see through some veils, but not far enough to see the benefits. You are free to choose your own spiritual path. I recently participated in an online festival from Ista Temple Arts called "Spiritual, sexual, Shamanic" and it was the most profound spiritual experience that integrated and showed me what spiritual sexuality is. and it is key. Integration is vaste. Once you see the ego die enough times, you have the map built up enough, you observe enough you can create any experience you want.

 

Leo is right about paranormal experiences. I experienced shamanic possession and a vision quest.

Edited by Thought Art

"Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 07/05/2020 at 0:09 AM, Javfly33 said:

Ego´s problems. Not yours.

Pretty much this. You don't have any problems unless you imagine them, and this parricular problem is well thought out. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Maybe try and contemplate why an artist paints, a transformer transforms, a thinker imagines etc. The answer really helped me go full circle. 

 There are an infinite amount of things to know so feel free to be as you are.   You are perfect just as you are. You are unique and this moment within infinity is just for you ? 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Kshantivadin  So you think doing some alcohol, maybe weed, fucking hot chicks here and there, messing around a bit would help you? You would like to have that kind of experience, know what that is like in your lifetime?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It'll be okay ❤


✨Earth Angel, Starseed hybrid✨

Infinite Love to you. ?❤

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

 So you think doing some alcohol, maybe weed, fucking hot chicks here and there, messing around a bit would help you? You would like to have that kind of experience, know what that is like in your lifetime?

I did that entire my life (till 30 years old and lost my soul). Thats why i am here. Lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jes, what You eamn that You lost Your Soul? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
27 minutes ago, WHO IS said:

Jes, what You eamn that You lost Your Soul? 

Whatever i desired, i got it. Life ended for me after that. Because i got everything i want, that left me with, loneliness, emptiness and no desire. I forgot to smile or get sad. No emotions. Empty and not aware lol.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

@James123  Glad to see you here :))

Thanks brother :) I appreciate 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now