Chumbimba

I am a hater

7 posts in this topic

Thanks to my mom I had a really deep insight/self-reflection about myself.

Last year, me ex girlfriend and I of about 18 months broke up and I have really been shooken up about it. I also lived with her recently and now I know who she is sleeping with so that doesent help. But ever since then I have been deeply bitter, critical and jealous of other people in intimate relationships or people who have more sex or sexual attention than me. I have been for pretty much all my life. Not only jealous of people in intimate relationships, but everyone. I have a belief that everyone is doing better than me in life and that my life sucks and I have to put all this extra work into my life to make it just a little bit functional, but it seems like everyone around me is thriving,

Money, career, youtubers, spiritual teachers, even some of you on the forum who have mystical experiences because I have yet to have one. You name it, I will find a way to be jealous/envious of it. 

The insight came: Me and my mom were driving to walmart and I see a couple holding hands walking down the sidewalk. I say to my mom "It seems like everyone is in a relationship now." In like a cynical, judgemental tone... She responds "Good". It suddenly hit me.. it is a good thing that people are in relationships. Why am I so bitter and angry about that.. then I realized how deeply jealous I am and that I am huge hater pretending that I am so loving spiritual person whos shit doesent stink and that everyone is unconscious but me.. SELF DECEPTION IS A BITCH !! A huge weight got lifted off of my shoulders and it made me realize that I have been suffering from that without even knowing I am suffering from it. It opened my heart up. 

Anyway my point is how can I create abundance in my life so I can nip the jealousy and hater thing in the butt/bud (I don't know how the saying goes) or just transcend the whole game altogether?  

Thank you for listening :) 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In short, these problems such as jealousy will autocorrect as you become more conscious.

I would say focus on your consciousness because that’s the only thing worth pursuing. Sure, other things can support you in this. Know that it doesn’t matter if other people have it, it matters if you have it. 

The thing about Truth is that you suffer if you’re not aligned with it. You can play millions of tricks but none will go along with you in the end.

It’s about values, if I valued sex, money, etc I would probably be jealous of the rabbits too. What matters for me is consciousness and once I got enough consciousness I realized life is a single player game. What matters is how I am.

Edited by Derek White
Last paragraph.

“Many talk like philosophers yet live like fools.” — Proverb

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

Your hatred of others will only hurt you more. I call it a hurt cycle. A cycle that starts because of a deep wound and then feelings act like a fuel to fire and trigger the same emotion of hurt over and over. Some people take advantage of this and try to hurt you even more by making you jealous, by flaunting their life and making you feel like you don't have what they got, making you feel that you are lesser than others, if you have low self esteem, this can play dangerously into your psyche and even cause you to have a mental breakdown and the resulting frustration can spiral into deep depression. 

Don't let people win. It does not mean that people are your enemies but you are only opening up to more shitty experiences from people by opening up your vulnerable side to them, this is like a goldmine for bullies, something they vigorously thrive on is your low self esteem and your tendency to easily get offended /jealous /vulnerable /hurt/deprived/lonely /isolated /whiny /triggered. 

Stop the hurt cycle and everything stops. You won't feel triggered by seeing people in intimate relationships. 

In a way those images /words /people /sentiments /ideas are like a mirror into your consciousness and showing to you what's hurting you inside. 

Jealousy can come out of the need to control or be superior, a kind of narcissism that only you have to be the best and no one else or it can come from deep deprivation, hurt, desire (unfulfilled) because you always felt you weren't appreciated enough. I think your case is the latter one. Your Jealousy is not because of narcissism or superiority but because of deprivation or lack of appreciation. 

Here is the thing . I tell you these words that will change your life forever. 

Let that "pain body" leave your body and soul. Take the higher road and be above everyone else. Dismiss their triggering as nonsense and Let it not bother you anymore. 

Take the higher road. You can be above everyone if you want to be. Let them go who trigger you. 

And when this happens, you get liberated from your own demons, you are set a free bird. 

I hope you make that choice and the hurt cycle will come to an end. 

You're not a bad person. You are just hurting deeply and lashing out. 

Once the pain leaves, you will be the one You wanted to be (always) . 

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Preety_India

How did you go about it? I mean this part: 

Quote

Let that "pain body" leave your body and soul. Take the higher road and be above everyone else. Dismiss their triggering as nonsense and Let it not bother you anymore. 

Let's say, practically speaking, what is, in your opinion a better approach to this: blocking them and ignoring them, on let's say Facebook, or so keep them in your circle and stand for yourself. Isn't letting these things into your life and subconscious a self-damaging practice? What do you think?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 minutes ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@Preety_India

How did you go about it? I mean this part: 

Let's say, practically speaking, what is, in your opinion a better approach to this: blocking them and ignoring them, on let's say Facebook, or so keep them in your circle and stand for yourself. Isn't letting these things into your life and subconscious a self-damaging practice? What do you think?

 

The pain body is created out of deep hurt because of some personal incident in your life or because of having to deal with a destructive person in your life growing up, for example your own mother's or father's behavior and their hurt or control can cause you to have a pain body over time. This hurt carries itself for the rest of your life if you don't address it through shadow work. 

This hurt causes you (the person) to act defensive because nearly everything begins to hurt you and you feel helpless in stopping it. Your personality has changed over time as a result of this hurt bomb inside you.. This results in low self esteem, feelings of victimhood which are natural feelings that are an offshoot or side effects of the bad behavior you experienced from your mother /father/another relationship.. When you think that you are above everyone else, it automatically elicits your forgiveness response and you immediately learn to accept other's behavior like their own misgivings or faults or limitations rather than approaching it in a defensive war zone manner.. You learn to dismiss the people who are trying to trigger you because when you let the pain body leave you, you replace the feeling of judgement with the feeling of understanding and dismissal. You dismiss the person who is trying to trigger you, because in the moment you focus more on the person and their karma rather than the trigger. You realize and accept that not all people are going to be humble and good and this raises you towards a higher consciousness. 

And coming to the Facebook part or practical approach. Here you need to be strategic. It's nice to forgive others but it's difficult. So if you can block and ignore people who hurt you, that's a very good thing to do. You are saving yourself some unnecessary trouble and drama. And you're right. Allowing them into your life and in your circle and constantly standing up for yourself can definitely be a self damaging practice. So the clever thing would be to block/ignore them for the time being. So they don't distract you with drama. 

But I present you with another example where my approach of letting go is suitable.. Let's say you are in a job where people are hurting you. You can't quit the job because it's your survival. Maybe it's difficult to get another job. In such a situation you cannot simply block people or quit the job. You will need to confront them, you will need to face them, you will have to deal with them and you will have to learn to take the higher road or else it will affect your work. So there are different approaches to the same issue. However shadow work and dealing with your pain body and hurt cycle is an important part of your healing. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 22/04/2020 at 10:12 AM, Chumbimba said:

see a couple holding hands walking down the sidewalk. I say to my mom "It seems like everyone is in a relationship now." In like a cynical, judgemental tone... She responds "Good". It suddenly hit me.. it is a good thing that people are in relationships. Why am I so bitter and angry about that.. then I realized how deeply jealous I am and that I am huge hater pretending that I am so loving spiritual person whos shit doesent stink and that everyone is unconscious but me.. SELF DECEPTION IS A BITCH !! A huge weight got lifted off of my shoulders and it made me realize that I have been suffering from that without even

Sound Great that You Realized! 

There's NO ugliness, But lack of vision Depth to See Beauty9_9


All of your life you have been told that God created you. God come now to tell you this:  You are creating God❤️

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Chumbimba hedonic adaptation is a term in psychology which means that you get used to the stuff that stays around eg. a good car, career, money or even a relationship.

So no matter how much abundance you have you will still want more cause your mind will get satisfied with what it has and will create new reference points which you think you will need to make you happy. 

Experiences will give you more happiness than things or people, try to create experiences.

Apart from that practice gratitude, kindness, connection with people and exercise and meditate daily. 

Also always remember that you are not happy because you don't want to be axiom.

You compare yourself to others because you think that they are happier than you and if you get the things they have you will get happier, but that's trickery of your mind. 

Don't worry be happy ?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now