Jai

Spiritual Review and Progress

545 posts in this topic

Daily spiritual practice* Attitude of service* Mental and emotional states* Sex energy* Cold exposure* Eat clean* Phone & computer habits* Exercise* 

Sep 22

Really good day today. I was a little dull at the end of the day yesterday and today I bounced back some. Still got up early but pushed back exercise until later in the day. I may end up doing that more often. It lets me get an earlier start on studying. Plus I can use exercise and a cold shower as a break between sessions instead of a first thing in the day activity. Today finished strong by meeting with some friends and discussing spiritual stuff. It felt really good to see them and to be back here in general. I feel like I'm in a good spot overall even though I'm not earning all that much now. I feel like I'm on a good trajectory. Even though studying is really difficult and I'm not sure what will come of it and I get in doubt with that overall I'm doing well. So one of the big things is to just keep up my spiritual activity. Within that realm the difficult part is always sex ideal. So with that I'll need to keep that clean and keep making progress there. If I can really improve that then I'll be in a good spot. It feels like the one troublesome area. So I really want to solve that spiritual problem.

Daily spiritual practice* Nice morning session as always. Good to do an evening meditation with friends

Attitude of service* Good here. Was helpful today and found a couple opportunites to help out with things. Good oreintation overall as well.

Mental and emotional states* Was playing mostly on offense today which was good. Good to be engaged and to have good outward energy.

Sex energy* Not distracted by this today. Felt like I had this rightly directed. It's still early in the retention streak so the real challenge comes when this is really high. But still good today and avoided lustful thinking

Cold exposure* Good here. Nice cold shower with the garden hose. But the water isn't really that cold now so not that big of a deal

Eat clean* good here

Phone & computer habits* Good but during down time I check my phone to unwind. Got to find better things to do to minimize screen time

Exercise* Good here. went for a run and bike ride. stretched some

moved forward today 

Edited by Jai

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Sep 23

Another really solid day. I felt connected pretty much all day. Had a really nice spiritual practice. Was really productive and had good habits. And avoided lustful thinking. So that was a win today. I definitely was playing on offense today. I got 7 hours of intent and focused studying in which I'm proud of. Today was day 7 of the nice streak that I'm on. I want to keep this momentum up and keep putting in good effort. Not too much else to say. When I have solid days everything aligns and I feel good purpose.

Daily spiritual practice* Nice morning session, good way to start the day

Attitude of service* Good here. Trying to be helpful. Good outward energy, not stuck in my own problems.

Mental and emotional states* Really solid here. Was in the positive neighborhood all day. Want to keep this up here and avoid fear, doubt, regret, self-pity, anxiety, jealousy, etc. When I'm there I want to drag people down. It's better to be positive and lift people up.

Sex energy* Good here. Had nice benefit from the retention streak. Day 7 on that. Really good job avoiding lustful thinking. I really kept good focus and avoided being distracted. That's definitely where it starts. This next week will be a challenge as the energy gets stronger

 Cold exposure* Really nice here. Good cold shower even though the water isn't really all that cold compared to winter water. Still always some mental push back.

Eat clean* Good here. Really nice diet.

Phone & computer habits* Better, but still get stuck mindlessly checking my phone. I want to eliminate that entirely

Exercise* Good here. Really solid bike ride today.

moved forward today

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Sep 24

Another good day. Good effort overall. Glad I have tomorrow off and I'm taking a rest day to reenergize for next week. I definitely put in good effort all week and made good progress. Today was mostly all positive but later in the day I felt some doubt about my trajectory and felt a little old to be learning something new. These are definitely thoughts to challenge and defeat. Whatever I do I want to come from a place of faith and confidence. That's where I've been most of the time. So this was a rare thought for this week. Most of the time I'm on offense. The big thing is to get back to trusting God in moments like these and look at all the daily progress I'm making which is considerable. If what I'm doing takes time then fine I'm at least going to keep putting in effort. Big thing is to keep my days solid and to keep God first.

Daily spiritual practice* Nice morning session here.

Attitude of service* Good here. Found an opportunity at a meeting to cut cake and pass out the cake. I jumped at this opportunity which is good. I like being on my toes for opportunities to serve.

Mental and emotional states* Good here for the most part. One small lapse into doubt. But really felt connected at times today.

Sex energy* Good. Day 8 on the retention streak. Keeping this area of life clean is so important. If I fall short here I feel the repercusions and my overall well being dips. So this is a priority. And it's really the only thing that will lead to a really off day. So if I keep this clean my other habits are good enough and predictable enough that I pretty much always have solid days. This is the thing that will throw me off course. With this it's also important to keep my mind focused and not distracted. Every time I go somewhere I also need to be focused to not be checking out girls or being distracted. Harnessing this energy is so valuable because it's such a strong force

Cold exposure* Nice shower. Really had good focus.

Eat clean* Good here

Phone & computer habits* Good for the most part but could improve

Exercise*  Nice bike ride, good stretching.

Moved forward today

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Sep 25

Day off today. Had a nice meditation session and hang out session with a friend. Good to catch up with him and chat. We're both on similar trajectories so it's nice to hang with someone like that. Also had a really nice morning spiritual session. Got some errands done and did some service. Only negative thing really was lustful thinking. I went to the beach and saw some pretty girls and lost focus and clarity. There is definitely something I can notice when I'm really focused and have a really clear mind adn then the whole tone of my mental space shifts once I have some lustful thinking like that. And it's not like I think being attracted to women or having sex with women is wrong. Just that if I'm in a phase of really having high disicpline in this area even a small thing like this shfits the mental direction and space I'm in. So that was noticeable.

Daily spiritual practice* A couple of nice sessions. This continues to be the foundation

Attitude of service* Good here. Good outward energy, generally helpful.

Mental and emotional states* Mostly good. Definitely positive and in a good spot. Really the only negative was the lustful thinking that threw me off.

Sex energy* Definitely at a higher level so I really have to keep discipline here if I'd like to keep a retention streak going

Cold exposure* Really nice morning shower. I had good concentration and good motivation

Eat clean* Good here

Phone & computer habits* Better today

Exercise* Went for a bike ride

Moved forward today

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Sep 26

A good day even though I felt a little sluggish at times. I didn't have the strong motivation or energy that I've been used to having. I felt a little doubt about my computer course and the progress I'm making. I also went into a little fear over the future and money and what I'm going to do. Fortnunatley I didn't stay here long. Hopefully tomorrow I have a really strong start to the day and get back being more confident. It's just that this computer coding course is difficult and sometimes I get a little frustrated or overwhelmed and the goal feels far in the future. I should feel pretty good though becasue I made a ton of progress this past week and hit all my goals. I think a good strategy is focus on the day and make it the best possible and hit weekly goals. A medium term goal is really just to pass this first assessment. I'm hoping that is not too far in the future. I really want to get that accomplished and feel good about passing the first course.

To do this I've been thinking about continuing to practice celibacy and to really harness the sexual energy. When I have this energy I do feel more energized and more focused. It's just that it ends up feeling really difficult at times to do this. Such a challenge. For now I have a nice retention streak going and would like to keep this up. My other habits also benefit from this energy. This is really the toughest thing to bring under discipline and control.

All around a pretty good day though. No major deviations and felt pretty decent, just not at the level I've been at most of the time. It shows how I usually operate at a pretty nice level.

Daily spiritual practice* Nice morning session as always. Gonna sit and do another session here shortly

Attitude of service* Cleaned up the house which was good. Roomate will notice that. Also had pretty decent outward energy for the most part.

Mental and emotional states* Kind of neutral today. Not really on offense, but not on defense either. Just kind of in the middle. I'd like to get back on offense tomorrow and put the pressure on the other team. Come out and have a good start to the week and get a bunch done and live life to the fullest.

Sex energy* Had some impure thoughts today. Had a pretty graphic dream last night and then was in lustful thinking a couple of times today. Still kept the retention streak going but I have to watch the thought world I operate in.

Cold exposure* Really nice cold shower today. I've really been embracing the cold water lately. There will be mental pushback always but once I'm in the water and my body adapts after like 30-45 seconds I start to feel really good

Eat clean* Good diet today, but didn't eat my plate of raw veggies like alwasy.

 Phone & computer habits* Pretty good, not on my phone all that much

Exercise* Really nice bike ride. My hill climbing is getting better

Moved forward today

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