Going Undercover On Dating App As A Girl (How The Dating Scene Effects Women)

[UnconsciousHuman]

To start, I'm a guy! I've been having some success with girls and I became interested to know what It was like from their POV to be talking to me, her thought processes, what she felt, her fantasies, how she was comparing me to other guys...

So I decided I am gonna take it upon myself to experiment, I decided I was gonna go on a dating app pretending to be a friend of mine (Girl) and see what it is like..  I don't like catfishing and being manipulative so I decided to get rid of the account an hour after, but within that hour I learned the following:

If you're a girl you don't have to be good looking to get swarms of guys, my friend is your average girl and within 10 minutes of swiping right on guys I get 40+ matches, the guys will be offering you products, sex, love, dates where they pay for the food, etc... I'm assuming that almost all girls that aren't overweight nor have a physical disorder will have no problem getting matches and attention on dating apps. 

I would pick the guys who seemed the most alpha and reply to them and they respond QUICK, so I decided to flirt with them in the way I see girls flirt with me, and it is so, so, so easy to control guys and have them do all kinds of conversational maneuvers to try to get me to be interested in them. Girls will develop a thick face quickly (Not caring to reject and be assertive with guys) 

I should also mention, If girls want to date successfully they need to develop a strong sense of emotional intelligence, as well as some detective skills in order to discriminate between the bullshitters and authentic masculine men. There are so many guys who would say and do anything just to get "Me" to sleep with them. I assume that girls have an inclination for a real relationship or connection as opposed to a quick fuck so a girl will naturally start to pick and chose the best guys that she thinks can sustain and offer her that. She will quickly realize, and come to like guys that are fun, dominant, trustable, social and carefree.

I can only make the assumption that a young girl who goes through dating-app experiences will start to think she is highly desired, and she will develop an image of the world where everyone just wants to fuck her. This can be daunting for a developing girl and for her self esteem since she can start to believe she is only valuable because she can offer sex, or she is only valuable when she is desired...

Come to find out that dating is not the same for guys and girls. Girls have literally 100s if not 1000s of options at any moment of their choice, yet this isn't what they desire, for me as a guy If I had a 100 even unattractive girls at my fingertip I would be on a fuck rampage, but for girls, this seems to be the exact opposite of what they want. 

Girls on dating apps will judge you based on your looks, that's the only way I could discriminate quickly between so-called attractive guys and unattractive guys, and girls really don't have the time to talk to every single guy and judge his personality. I would say that with every 30 guys, there is a muscular guy with good style and some nice photos who gets all the girls on those apps. So you really need to be good looking because if you arent girls will not give you time cuz you will be placed with the other 100s of guys in the "Leave on read category".

On a final note, I am amazed by the fact that If I had been born with a XX chromosome instead of the XY chromosome, this would be the experience of dating I would have. In my eyes, girls differ from guys in only 2 foundational ways. 1) They value emotional connection more than sex 2) They have a bias towards dealing with things emotionally rather than logically. The other characteristics that women develop (selecting guys, making sure they themselves look good, building larger social circles etc..) come from having those 2 little differences in values that then branch out and create a world of a difference in character, and that is just beyond beautiful. The metaphor I have for this is: If you shoot a bullet with just a slight nudge to one side, as the bullet travels through space this small nudge creates a difference that becomes greater and greater. It's like that with women, because of those 2 foundational differences in values they end up developing into an entirely different being psychologically. 

 

 

Edited April 20, 2020 by UnconsciousHuman

[Spiral]

However there is a problem girls face. Sure girls have plenty of options but most are unattractive for various reasons. The few guys that stick out get the same kind of attention girls get and hence will be assholes. So in the end girls get a higher number people interested in them but also struggle to find suitable partners.

Also I assume your friend was ok with you using her photo for this experiment. 

[Preety_India]

 

Yes there are obvious psychological and biological differences between men and women. Men and women experience sex differently. For men sex is an experience of achievement, a conquest, a fulfillment whereas for women, sex is an experience of connection and longevity. Both are looking for different things. However if you look at guys who are more emotionally resonating to a woman's feelings, you'll realize that these guys to have similar attachments and expectations out of sex, hence their connections with women are stronger and their relationships last longer. Society in some ways is to blame because it does not allow men to cultivate their feminine side in them and If a man ever tried to develop his emotional side, he is shamed for it. 

Women are also hounded by Insecurities, either those that were subconsciously and unknowingly developed during childhood or by constant comparisons made to other women, such Insecurities can have a drastic impact on how a woman perceives compliments received from men, if the woman genuinely believes that she is not good enough, his compliments will have no impact on her. She is less likely to accept it as praise. His flirting will not get her excited in any way. Also society has this notion that if a man meets many girls then he is a stud but when a woman goes out with many men, she gets shamed so women are very much fixated on finding that one good guy who is the one size fits all solution to her needs and criteria so she doesn't need to look for another one, this tends to make her more discriminatory and judgemental towards partner selection because she considers it to be her only chance at scoring a stable potential mate for q lifetime.. Men usually think only about the moment. Women have a counting brain so they are calculating a lot about their future, the smarter the woman, the lesser are your chances with her because she has a long list of prerequisites in her mind that need ri be met before she even decides to reply to that message you sent her. This sort of social and biological conditioning of women makes it very difficult for men to get the attention of a woman. Also there's the Madonna whore complex, damned if you do, damned if you don't, which puts women in a tight spot while deciding any sort of a sexual commitment to a man. With men they hardly ever have to think about something called the shelf life, whereas with women, a lot of things are a function of time, so if they recklessly go out and spend too much time with too many men, they resent the time lost in not finding an ideal partner by distracting themselves with several men.. 

So yea, with women a lot of factors make them reluctant to accept the invitations from men even if they have several men vying for them, for a lot of women, this does not seem like a golden opportunity, as opposed to men

[Leo Gura]

@UnconsciousHuman Great work! That's real learning right there! That's how all growth work should look. Empirical and not based on ideology or self-serving theory.

Just keep in mind that attraction online is very different from attraction in-person. Your looks matter far more online. If you're an above average looking guy, online will give you an advantage. If you're below average, stop doing online and focus on in-person.

[UnconsciousHuman]

@modmyth Thanks for the long response, but I'm having trouble following your thought flow as I read along. Could you maybe sum up each paragraph in a short idea or sentence?

Sorry to trouble you by asking you to do this but I'm very curious about the things you are saying yet can't seem to understand.

[UnconsciousHuman]

@Leo Gura

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Quote

@UnconsciousHuman Great work! That's real learning right there! That's how all growth work should look. Empirical and not based on ideology or self-serving theory.

It really is real learning! I realized recently that to understand most things you need to have a real-life reference experience where you are involved. In the case with understanding women, it isn't enough to create an idealogy about women based on some womanizer's opinion of them. You can develop an explicit understanding by theorizing but not an implicit one, implicit understanding comes from raw experience and what I'm after is an implicit understanding. 

Big ups to you teaching me about implicit vs explicit. ?

Edited April 21, 2020 by UnconsciousHuman

[whatishappeningtome]

On 4/21/2020 at 6:06 AM, UnconsciousHuman said:

On a final note, I am amazed by the fact that If I had been born with a XX chromosome instead of the XY chromosome, this would be the experience of dating I would have.

 

See this was a valid, interesting experiment. A lot of people who completely buy into The Red Pill content, take what you just said as an ideology of how evil women supposedly are. 

[UnconsciousHuman]

@whatishappeningtome 

Guys that buy into the red pill:

Lazy, idealogical, fearful, afraid of girls, low self-love and finally they lack taking responsibility for their own dating life. 

 

 

[Leo Gura]

Guys who buy into Red Pill have been hurt and wounded. What they lack is love. So they lash out and create ideologies to armor their wounds.

[Chumbimba]

I was a red-pill guy.. then I turned 16 

@Leo Gura you're right I am not very photogenic so I am terrible at online dating, but I thrive in person because my personality gets to shine  

[Leo Gura]

7 minutes ago, Chumbimba said:

but I thrive in person because my personality gets to shine  

There you go! Excellent.

[Leo Gura]

5 hours ago, modmyth said:

Notice how "hot girls" are good at taking up space, particularly in person?

It's a two-way street.

Hot girls are confident and cocky because guys have been drooling over them for years, and they know it. So of course that gives them confidence. They can afford to take the buyer frame because they have leverage (their hot looks). They use it like currency.

Then again, lots of hot girls also have low self esteem. It's twisted. A lot of that confidence is fake and skin deep.

[Chives99]

@Leo Gura how are you supposed to feel confident and secure when you can't be sure whether a guy truly likes you for other than your looks, super models have this problem when dating athletes, they think he's head over heels for her then he goes on cheats on them with their best mate or whoever. Thats why rich men are cautious about going after someone with no money as how can you be sure they aren't there just for the wealth. At least less attractive people no they are more valued for their other qualities.

[UnconsciousHuman]

@modmyth Thanks

[Derek White]

Seeing all the complains regarding beautiful people, I’m like: 

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Chives99 said:

@Leo Gura how are you supposed to feel confident and secure when you can't be sure whether a guy truly likes you for other than your looks, super models have this problem when dating athletes, they think he's head over heels for her then he goes on cheats on them with their best mate or whoever. Thats why rich men are cautious about going after someone with no money as how can you be sure they aren't there just for the wealth. At least less attractive people no they are more valued for their other qualities.

As a guy it's pretty to easy to tell if a girl likes you for your personality or your money. Don't buy her anything for the first 6 months and see if she sticks around. If she really likes you, she will.

Is there a risk of getting cheated on? Always. So what? Be such an awesome person that your mate would never dare cheating on you. Problem solved.

[Kshantivadin]

10 hours ago, UnconsciousHuman said:

@whatishappeningtome 

Guys that buy into the red pill:

Lazy, idealogical, fearful, afraid of girls, low self-love and finally they lack taking responsibility for their own dating life. 

 

 

 

10 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Guys who buy into Red Pill have been hurt and wounded. What they lack is love. So they lash out and create ideologies to armor their wounds.

I'll try to defend the red pill here, and any other community :

Have you guys researched it well enough? probably not. you wouldn't be able to write the things you have if you did. It's like saying that people on the actualized forum are new age and deluded, not having even visited the forum.

The red pill has a LOT to offer. it is a lot of junk as well. Ultimately you would want to use the valuable information as a stepping stone towards more conscious dating, relationships and sexuality. A person who hasn't read anything about dating, game, seduction and ultimately TRP, cannot just jump into having conscious relationships, he will stay a needy man unaware of social dynamics. Stage Green relationship paradigms lack the Orange concepts of social dynamics, SMV, etc. Also, on what stage of the spiral would a person have the most experience with women? Orange, of course. Also of course the sample of women may not be representative. But I have found that TRP has improved my life greatly.

[Chives99]

 

 

 

 

34 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

 

Is there a risk of getting cheated on? Always. So what? Be such an awesome person that your mate would never dare cheating on you. Problem solved.

 

Thats more of a problem for women, athletes are pretty much at the top of the social hierarchy and can get any women they want so you just want to sample all the flavours like being in a sweety shop, not saying all athletes and sportsmen are like this but, when you have that power its hard to resist, All the European kings of time gone by had misteresses so technically everyone in europe has some degree of line to the throne due to being the decedent some where along the line of an illegitimate born 

[UnconsciousHuman]

@Chives99 @Kshantivadin

I'm going to mention how I see some people here under my post theorize about seduction and women like its some recipe or formula.

You don't get it, all of that is just a bullshit theory;

"Men of status get more women, women only want high-status guys, women have it harder because of so and so theory or men have it this way."

No, not of that matters, and even if there was truth to it, in the end, it is a line of logical reasoning and does not involve personal reference and experience. What matters is what you do and the results you yourself see.

I'm sick of this subconscious incel behavior clinging onto theories about women and dating. 

Edited April 22, 2020 by UnconsciousHuman

[Kshantivadin]

3 minutes ago, UnconsciousHuman said:

I'm going to mention how I see some people here under my post theorize about seduction and women like its some recipe or formula.

You don't get it, all of that is just a bullshit theory;

"Men of status get more women, women only want high-status guys, women have it harder because of so and so theory or men have it this way."

No, not of that matters, and even if there was truth to it, in the end, it is a line of logical reasoning and does not involve personal reference and experience. What matters is what you do and the results you yourself see.

I'm sick of this subconscious incel behavior clinging onto theories about women and dating. 

thanks for broadening my perspective, i see i am kind of locked in the belief. but!!!! but!!! my beliefs about it are based on personal reference and experience. so, what now?

Edited April 22, 2020 by Kshantivadin