Panic attacks and states of anxiety

[lostmedstudent]

My ego backlashed hard after 2 profound psychedelics experiences, where panic attacks can be triggered by re-experiencing those trips or reading topics on non-duality (almost like PTSD, but not as intense). I have been sober from psyches for over 6 months but i can tell that i am more anxious at a baseline level. i often think about death and resist that thought. 

Everytime i have a re-experiencing of the existential fear, i CANNOT lean into it. each time, i feel like if i do let go, i will die and i resist the thought of dying with everything that i can.. last night, i must have eaten something bad and i had a lot of nausea and vasovagal symptoms like lightheadedness. It made me so anxious and that i panicked. i try to sit and breathe and it eventually passed but i know that i didnt let go AT ALL. i was so tense and waiting/wishing for the nausea and anxiety to pass. i tried telling myself to face it and accept it but i also didnt want to because it felt like dying. 

After the episode has passed, i honestly felt pretty disappointed because i knew it was another chance for me to lean into my fear of death that i did not take. intellectually i know that i must face my fear in order to overcome it. but every time the fear comes up, i panic and resist. I have been meditating everyday for 2 months. sometimes i try to simulate and trigger the fear on purpose during meditation, but it doesn't fully works. 

does anyone has any tips on how to face and embrace the panic attacks? should i keep going slowly with the meditation or should i face/trigger it with another trip ? the panic attacks come up so sporadically that i dont really know how to work with them. 

thank you 

[Eren Eeager]

Take SSRIs, they will help you a lot in decreasing your anxiety and handling your fears.

You may have got more than you can handle, don't push yourself more than you can handle. Get back to normal functioning, that is most important. The truth will not not go away, why the hurry, make small steps towards your goal. If you cannot handle harsh existential truths, that's totally Ok, don't feel guilty or that you must handle them. Make your way towards them, make sure you enjoy the total of the journey if not and you continued forcing yourself , you may get yourself into serious mental illnesses or dysfunctions.

[lostmedstudent]

1 minute ago, Eren Eeager said:

Take SSRIs, they will help you a lot in decreasing your anxiety and handling your fears.

do you take them? you speak of them very lightly as if it were some magic pills. I dont meet the criteria for depression or generalized anxiety disorder. therefore, SSRIs are not the right solution to my current situation. thanks 

[Raptorsin7]

@lostmedstudent Have you considered working with a enlightenent coach to help speed up the path to enlightenment?

[Eren Eeager]

Yeah I am on them, and I a medical student too, hi there ??. You shouldn't be afraid of them because as a medical student I believe you know they don't have many side effects. They will help you go back to your normal mode and deal more easily with those ideas and fears you got from trips. Mental healthiness is very important if you are a seeker. Any psychological barrier must be cured before you do trips. Bad trips are guaranteed if you have any real psychological issues.

[Raptorsin7]

@Eren Eeager Isn't the purpose of trips to sort out psychological barriers that are preventing optimal mental health?

If you were already mentally healthy why would you need do the psychs in the first place?

In my view being a spiritual seeker is the recognition that your normal mode is off, and hence you go on the path to find what it means to be healthy and well. 

@lostmedstudent Be careful of falling into the trap of using drugs to suppress the underlying issues so that you can return to "normal" functioning. 

I've done LSD about 4-5 times in the past 4 months and i've had 3 full blown bad trips full of misery and suffering. But these trips proved incredibly valuable because i've been making major changes to my life recently, dropping out of law school, cutting out toxic people etc. And in comparison to the misery of those trips this stuff has been a cake walk haha

[lostmedstudent]

@Eren Eeager i am not afraid of them but its not wise to just straight up recommending antidepressants to people lol. idk where you are from, but i was not taught to prescribe SSRIs like its Tums. 

i dont see how they would help to solve the root of the issues. my panic attacks are brought up by the psychedelics, they reveal a part of me that i need to face, a fear that i must have the courage to embrace. i really dont think SSRI's are what im looking for as they will reduce my symptoms (i guess) without me actually knowing or understanding my fears. 

my panic attacks are circumstantial, always regarding death and existence.

i believe also psychedelics help you discover and heal your psychological traumas. no one is perfectly psychologically sound. 

[Schahin]

Dry fasting or at least water fasting and little water intake. 

 

It helped me to avoid becoming paranoid schizophrenic after a terrible psychedeluc experience. Trust me paranoid schizophrenic is real and is the most frightening experience in the world

[lostmedstudent]

@Raptorsin7 no i havent thought of the path of finding a coach. but it sounds like it can be a good idea. so far ive been lucky to find answers to most of my questions on the forum with help of other members. 

9 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

I've done LSD about 4-5 times in the past 4 months and i've had 3 full blown bad trips full of misery and suffering

wow, that sounds insane! koodos for you for braving through 3 of them! 

good luck on the integration

[lostmedstudent]

found this on leo's fear videos 

12 METHODS FOR DEALING WITH FEAR:

1 - Face your fears head on. Just do the thing you fear. If you avoid the fear, all it does is deepen the fear. 2 - Put yourself proactively to challenging situations. Don't get too comfortable. Push your comfort zone. Be bold on purpose. Be bold, not reckless in a stupid way. 3 - Training. Massive experience. Massive exposure. Expose yourself to something mindfully, conciously. Feel into the fear. Get comfortable with that fear feeling. 4 - Rigorous mindfulness practice 20-30 minutes a day [see episode on Mindful Meditation] 5 - Be totally present. When fear comes up, if you're able to be totally present, you can notice that your mind is jumping into the future. This can be done through a lot of meditation practice. 6 - Psychedelics. One of the most practical and powerful tools for dealing with fear, because it puts you face to face with death. 7 - Kriya yoga, which is sort of a meditative yoga rather than physical [see episode on the Importance of Yoga] 8 - Contemplation using a journal: what is this fear? Why is it arising? How is it connecting back to my identity? Contemplation alone will not be enough, though. Fear is too powerful to just reason your way out of it. [see episode on How to Contemplate Using a Journal] 9 - The letting-go technique. The Sedona method. [see episode on The Power of Letting Go] 10 - Breathing conciously, slowly and deeply as you feel the fear. [see episode on Body Awareness] Fear is a physiological phenomenon. 11 - Visualization and law of attraction. Overwhelm the fear with a positive vision. 12 - Love. Love is the ultimate solution to fear. Whatever situation in life that you're in when you're scared, the most counterintuive move you can do in that point is experience love. There'll be a separate video in the future on how love and fear inter-relate. Be grateful and more appreciative of life. When you feel grateful in your heart, there's no room for fear. When you're feeling afraid, do something selfless to another person. Help somebody. Fear is selfishness incarnated.

[Raptorsin7]

@lostmedstudent I started working with @Nahm in January. Best decision i've made so far on the path (not sure which is more valuable Nahm or psycsh tbh).

I highly recommend finding a teacher who's enlightened. Many of our beliefs we inherited unconsciously. At some point i realized i was operating according to beliefs that i had no idea where they came from. Now i'm starting to have thoughts that i remember specifically hearing from Nahm in our calls. And wala i'm getting better and happier lol.

[Natasha]

@lostmedstudent Panic attacks are pure chemistry. They are result of adrenaline dependency. Look it up. Once you become aware of what's causing them, would become easier to find solutions. 

[lostmedstudent]

@Joshi3 im a female

[Raptorsin7]

1 hour ago, Joshi3 said:

how’s your testosterone? T levels have a HUGE effect on anxiety in men. 

 

1 hour ago, lostmedstudent said:

i3 im a female

@Joshi3

[Aaron p]

Do you smoke weed? If you smoke regularly at all this will dramatically increase your baseline level of anxiety which, in turn, will be amplified by any psychedelic you use

[lostmedstudent]

@Natasha no i thinnk its a mixture of chemistry, life events, genetic predisposition, personality/temperament and childhood factors.

i just read a bit about the neurobiological parts of it, interesting..  

[lostmedstudent]

@Aaron p very occasionally.. weed gave me panic attacks 70% of the time i consume it, especially edibles. my first ever panic attack was triggered by weed.  i stay away these days ..

i think i have a more anxious nature. and i tend to react with panic with susbtances that alter my state of consciousness....

[Natasha]

1 minute ago, lostmedstudent said:

@Natasha no i thinnk its a mixture of chemistry, life events, genetic predisposition, personality/temperament and childhood factors.

i just read a bit about the neurobiological parts of it, interesting..  

Consider the other factors triggers, not causes. Adrenaline dependency can be fixed in 21 days if done correctly.

[lostmedstudent]

@Natasha do you mind sharing some articles or books about it? id love to read more on it. a simple google search didnt seem to bring up anything credible

[Aaron p]

15 minutes ago, lostmedstudent said:

@Aaron p very occasionally.. weed gave me panic attacks 70% of the time i consume it, especially edibles. my first ever panic attack was triggered by weed.  i stay away these days ..

i think i have a more anxious nature. and i tend to react with panic with susbtances that alter my state of consciousness....

@lostmedstudent my recommendation? Start doing hardcore practices. Self enquiry kriya yoga, strong determination sits. For me, it had to reach a point where Id had enough. Reaching your breaking point can be a beautiful thing. Very beautiful. In my opinion, reaching a breaking point...is *always* beautiful, even if it leaves you weak. (This of course excludes experiences that leave you physically or psychologically damaged). But assuming that your not permanently damaged, even if you reaching your breaking point is a breaking point of pain...something has been going in the wrong direction to begin with. If I'm going in the wrong direction, and it's causing me to suffer...I'd much rather reach the point where I can't take any more shit, throw my hands up and admit that there must be a better way. For me this was the point where Id had enough with my own energy. I was becoming aware of parts of myself that were ugly and disgusting...causing people to be uncomfortable in my presence and I couldn't control it! After the 50th person telling me these things about myself I knew that something was wrong. Now I meditate for an hour a day because...I'll be fucked if you think I'm gonna put up with this dog shit that I've been served. Don't be afraid to do that. Get angry. All that gas building up, light a fucking match and let her go. That's what I say. If your going in the wrong direction you might as well try to approach your breaking point faster

...if that makes sense