Matteo

Sharing my path: RASA, Depression, Psychedelics, Ashram, Romantic Love

60 posts in this topic

With this post I’m sharing a little update on my journey in the last two years, with some considerations, observations, and a general overview of my path so far.

 

I was depressed for most of my life. Traumas, abuses, and bad resilience to them most of all.

 

I was looking for solutions to that other than the psychotherapy that I was already doing, and one day, 5 years ago, I saw the video “how to become enlightened” by Leo. Since then I’ve done all sort of things and experiments: trying many meditation and yoga techniques, doing self-inquiry for years, doing vipassana retreats, living in Sadhguru’s ashram, taking psychedelics (1P-LSD).

 

RASA

The last significant thing I’ve done is taking RASA, which is sold as a shaktipat energy transmission that is supposed to help you awaken to some degree. I took it around 20 times. I don’t really know if it had an effect on me or not, maybe on the psychological level (and even that is hard to tell), but I’m sure I haven’t had any awakenings from this. He kept saying that probably some emotional/psychological/energetic block was keeping me from experiencing the benefits of the transmission. After a while I stopped taking it because I run out of money. I would have stopped anyway, because doing things that I have no clue if they are working or not for extended periods of time while paying for it, doesn’t feel right to me.

I’m becoming more and more incapable of doing faith-based practices, where after months there is no way of telling if one is making progress or just wasting time. I’ll say more about this later in this post.

 

RASA and psychedelics:

 

I really don’t know what to think about psychedelics. He told me that to receive RASA I had to be clean of psychedelics for at least 6 months, so I waited. This person is clearly against psychedelics, he even has a section on his website stating this:

 

I had many people approached me regularly to give them RASA. Many of them had regularly used psychedelic or recreational drugs before. I noticed a certain patter between regular users of these drugs. Their spiritual energy is not stable. Sometimes it is hard to assess their LOC (level of consciousness). This is especially true for naive younger seekers who are probably susceptible to the drug’s influence. Any substance, which has the ability to alter your perception, is not good for you when you are aiming for LOC 1000. Why? Here's why: The problem of taking mind alternating drugs or substances is that it can create disturbance in your energetic makeup of the body. Although I have no source to back it up, my theory is that these drugs can prove too sensitive for people whose energy body is uniquely qualified for higher level of spiritual practice. If you are into self-inquiry or curious about enlightenment, then your energy body is already “subtle” enough to undertake spiritual practices. If people like you, for example, take LSD or weed, then it can create unpredictable problem in the energy body. Curiously, I once read a book where the author said that most people who see unearthly things like unicorn, fairies or elves during the influence of hallucinogenic drug are actually being from lower astral dimension. They are not as auspicious as some of the proponents of LSD claims to be. You need to understand that ultimately, enlightenment has nothing to do with being high. Not even close. Enlightenment is not a state; it is a way of being.

 

He told me privately also that he has no experience with psychedelics, he’s never taken any. He also told me “first reach to LOC 1000, then if you still want to, take psychedelics.” (LOC 1000 is considered the highest level of consciousness in the system he’s using).

 

Spiritual teachers and psychedelics

 

At this point I’ve heard around 30 different perspectives about psychedelics from spiritual teachers which are not shamans, and most of them are against them with a few exceptions. I also have a little bit of experience with psychedelics myself. Yogis tend to be against them, and those who don’t condemn completely (like Neem Karoli Baba and Ozen Rajneesh) say things like “just do it once or twice”. Advaita teachers rarely talk about energy as it is referred in other traditions, so they have other justifications to be against them, like “enlightenment is not a state”. For those who are interested, the only person that I found which is supposedly able to perceive directly the human energy body, that is not against psychedelics and has extensive experience with them, is Teal Swan. I’ll write more about this if you want. Bashar (Darryl anka) also has an interesting and open perspective on them, I’ll share a videoclip of him if you want.

 

My experience with psychedelics

 

I’ve done 10 trips with 1P-LSD, with positive results (I never did more than two tabs). I’ve also attempted 5-Meo-DMT with no results. 10 micrograms, plugging. Probably the plugging part went wrong, or maybe too low of a dosage. While doing them, I felt that finally I was doing something very meaningful and possibly life changing.

If I’m being very honest with myself, the main reason I stopped tripping is because I got scared by Sadhguru saying this:

- Have you noticed that people doing psychedelics never really grow?

- Psychedelics can cause damage to the energy body.

- Psychedelics is not a sustainable path. If it was, I would have taken them myself.

- the problem with psychedelics is what they do to you later.

I had a lot of respect for him, and thinking he knew what he was talking about, in 2018 I started doing his practices, flew to India to his ashram, lived there and did almost all the courses, practicing regularly for months with no tangible results.

 

Forgetting enlightenment for a while because of romantic love

 

when I came back to India in October 2018 I had no clue what to do. I started giving piano lessons to a girl. I had no interest towards her in the beginning, nor did I have an interest to be in a relationship with anyone, because I thought it would slow me down spiritually. After eight months we fell in love with each other. At that time, I started taking RASA also. I was so much in love with her that my spiritual quest became really secondary. For the first time that I had the thought: “I really want to be alive, because if I wasn’t, I couldn’t be with her”. Before this happened, I was very depressed, and her felt like a miracle to me. I started thinking: “I thought I needed enlightenment to be really happy, but maybe I just need somebody to love.” I never felt that happy and fulfilled in my life.

There was a problem. She was already in a 5 year long relationship with a guy, and still loved him. I hoped she would leave him, but she didn’t. She said she had no real reason to leave him because although she loved me a lot, they still loved each other. I even went to the extent of asking her to be in a polyamorous relationship, but she was afraid that her boyfriend would leave her if she proposed such a thing.

4 months ago we decided to not see each other anymore because it was too painful for her to keep cheating, lying and making his boyfriend suffer (she told him about me), and it was too painful and humiliating for me to be in that position. After that I moved to another bigger city, because I wanted to build a new, less solitary and stagnant life.

 

I still love her, think about her every day many times and suffer, and don’t know what to do about it.

 

Now what?

 

I’ve been reading the forum a lot lately, and watching leo’s videos. I haven’t followed him for a while because I felt it was harming me, but now it’s different. I’m thinking a lot about psychedelics, carefully watching how he’s using them and what he’s reporting to us.

I’m very tempted to start using them again, and that’s why: as I said before, I’m becoming incapable of doing practices that I don’t understand, that I don’t know whether are working or not, and I don’t like feeling so insecure and doubtful about what I’m doing all the time. (Still I’m doing them a little bit because I’ve got nothing else at the moment). I have questions, I want answers. I have confusion, I want clarity. I have pain, I want relief. I feel like psychedelics are the only thing that I’ve done that actually gives actual answers. They work, I know that, I’ve done them. They are not subtle at all. They are in your face. You don’t have to guess with them, and that makes them very attractive to me. There is even a lot of research that suggests that psychedelic mushrooms are very helpful in the treatment of depression, which is something I’m still struggling with.

Nonetheless, I’m still concerned about the dangers they may imply. Leo said something like: “don’t listen to people’s advice on psychedelics if they haven’t done at least 50 trips”. I see what he’s saying, but maybe they really can cause damage or slow you down in the long run, and maybe that doesn’t take 50 trips to be seen from the outside.

I met a guy once in India, he had developed kundalini syndrome by doing psychedelics. I heard Ram Dass saying that he has made a sincere attempt to awaken with LSD and failed. I heard David Hawkins saying that people use to (he doesn’t say when) prepare for one year before doing LSD, doing fasting and meditation, and then do it just once. Shamans do assist people while they’re tripping with rituals and energetic procedures, maybe if that was superfluous they wouldn’t do that. I don’t remember all the things that made me skeptical about psychedelics right now, but I’ve heard a lot of them.

Even though they might be dangers, if I keep failing to find satisfying alternatives (which is the case right now), I’ll soon use them. I'm sure it would be a lot more satisfying than the things I've done till now.

I wish you all good luck with your journeys. if you relate in some way to my experience, share yours. If you have experience and advices, share them.

 

Thank you.

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What do you mean with results brother?

Do you understand that in the more advanced stages (around nondual experiencing) it's rather about loosing than gaining? It's a process of self-emptying: surrendering good AND bad sensations, thoughts etc. Blockages are released through a surrender to love. 

You are not to gain anything. Maybe this sounds depressing, but its not nihilistic what i'm saying. The attitude of non clinging is a heart centered expansion. 

The Heart of Centering Prayer - by Cynthia Bourgeault (read that one to understand).

And Matt Kahns stuff will probably do you wayyy more good.

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Thx for sharing. If you want to pursue the psychedelic path seriously read Chris. M Bache's "LSD and the mind of the Universe". You will find a lot of answers there. ;) 


"Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything." -- Rupert Spira

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Im almost sure that if any of these teachers which are so clearly against psychedelics would trip some day, they would instantly re-evaluate their own LOC, too after the trip .


Embrace the game

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Well written post mate. I have same concerns about psychedelics. They surly have power to change your perception but it seems natural to me that such power must come at some cost. Many people on the internet try to paint psychedelic like a magic pill and it seems to me naive to believe it.

Maybe if you are in very "low state" psychedelic can quickly show you your minds delusion but if you are in more clear state it's not worth it to do them. That's just my theory tho.

Can you share this video of bashar ?

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Did you do psychedelics before or after doing sadhguru's practices? 

Actually the reason you cant feel the benefits of rasa transmitions is probably the same as why you can't feel much benefit from sadhguru's practices because sadhguru's path is all about transmition and presence. Without receptivity only your lung capacity will increase, no transformation will hapen. You can see he always says, do the practice with love and devotion, do it as an offering etc. etc. And if you're are receptive it will totally transform you. Some people on first day get blown away like tornado hit them. It's not a path of individual striving, it's a path of offering yourself and receiving. How fast you grow in many ways depends on your receptivity. So the reason you didn't see much result in those techniques whether It's sadhguru or rasa or even vipassana because even in vipassana buddha's grace is very much alive and active in that path, the reason is just that something is blocking you from grace. Like rasa instructor was telling you also.

So the reason I asked if you did psychedelics before or after sadhguru is because according to Mooji using psychedelics causes spiritual pores to close and makes you unreceptive to grace. That's what rasa teacher was also telling you also to make a 6month gap.

I want you to understand that without grace growth is impossible. "Grace plays 99% role of your spiritual evolution, you only do 1%." #Mooji.

Fix this thing before you do anything else. This is an answer to all your problems. Arrgoance is another disease that blocks a person from grace. Watch out for it.

"Especially these thoughts like I'm the ultimate authority",  "only I know what is good for me" is a peak of arrogance and a cancer to your soul.

Edited by Salvijus

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My advice would be to follow your heart, and if that is telling you to pursue Psyches then go with that, or if it is telling you to take a break from all of this work and go enjoy 'normal' life without considering spirituality go do that. In my view, it will probably do you worse to force yourself to keep 'seeking' if it isn't coming naturally. 

From your descriptions, it potentially sounds like more typical practices of healing and dealing with the issues you are facing may be a better approach to take, for example, you mentioned long term depression and not being over the girl you are/was in love with. 

So, in these cases, I usually ask what are your fundamentals like? Depression is usually caused by something being out of whack, our natural way of being is happiness and peace.

So by fundamentals I mean your Diet, Exercise, Sleep, EMF exposure, Vitamin& Mineral levels, do you have addictions to things like Porn, Phone, Weed, etc, are you over stimulated by Dopamine? Do you get outside much/ in nature much at all, even things like that can really help. 

To me, these should be addressed before we then move onto Spirituality and awakening. 

However, in regards to your emotions ALWAYS feel them fully, do not resist. Whatever you resist will persist! Treat ALL emotions and thoughts like guests in your guesthouse, LOVE them unconditionally and welcome them, only then can you start to investigate and truly understand their true nature. 

Also, sorry to hear about your lackluster RASA experience, mine was the complete opposite, I worked 9 months with Ananda Devi and it was the single most helpful thing on my journey, it was also the 1-1 sessions which really helped overcome blockages and integrate the insights from RASA. Who was your RASA facilitator out of interest? I'm biased, but maybe you weren't at the end of seeking, and it wasn't the right time for you to undertake RASA and were looking for some kind of shortcut. It doesn't exist. True awakening will also involve facing your shadow and the depths of your being, unfortunately, it isn't all sunshine and rainbows. But, it's always worth it. 

Or, what @Salvijus said. 

Problem is we come from materialistic and scientific backgrounds (mostly) so it can take a while to get on board with the whole 'energy blockages' and kind of new-age terms like that, but transmissions are based on grace and energy, so if you go down the Psyche path it's best to stick with that and not mix, same as if you go down the 'typical' path of transmissions and whatnot, it's best not to mix that with Psyches. 

You also have to remember transmissions have been used for 1000s of years, the highest teaching has always been silence. All words are simply modulations of this teaching to help express and explain the teaching in various ways to relate to most people. 

This video explains transmissions pretty well. In terms of RASA, it isn't personal, it is simply presence being shared and helping clear the blockages someone has. Not about getting high and having amazing experiences. They also actually don't give RASA to anyone who's tripped in the last 6-12 months usually. 

Awakening isn't an experience. 

https://www.rasatransmissioninternational.com/spiritual-transmissions


'One is always in the absolute state, knowingly or unknowingly for that is all there is.' Francis Lucille. 

'Peace and Happiness are inherent in Consciousness.' Rupert Spira 

“Your own Self-Realization is the greatest service you can render the world.” Ramana Maharshi

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@Salvijus Thanks for that message, interesting. Maybe I'll stop with the psychedelics.
 
@Matteo Nice share, thank you! :-)
I want to share a couple of things, as I can relate quite a bit with your story. I have similar concerns and doubts as you with psychedelics, also have done RASA and have been struggling or doubting as to what path I should follow too.

as for RASA I had maybe 2/3 'official' RASA sessions, and watched a bunch of recorded RASA sessions. Someone who gave RASA, and became my friend for a while, wanted to have a spontaneous video chat with me. He wanted to explain the stuff like 'there is no person, there is only this', etc. I already knew there was no person, but okay. At some point he said something like 'you already know there is no person? Oh that's like LOC 1000. You know what, close your eyes and let go of everything, stop the seeking', I gave it a go and tried releasing everything, I released something perhaps because I had a tear. Not a biggy. He said, 'yea you're probably 1000 now, let me check' he checked and said that I was at 1000. He send my picture to Ramaji or Ananda to have them double check and they also said I was at 1000. I didn't feel any different and doubted very much if he wasn't just trying to convince himself and me. Anyway, nothing changed in the meanwhile (that I feel I should attribute to RASA) lol. Not sure what to think of RASA, maybe there is something to it, but I think they might make it out to be more then it is.

As to pshychedelics. I love Bashar and tried finding some videos of him where he talks about pshychedelics. I found some videos where he mentions something, but not in fullness. Could you share what you found of him talking about it? Also, did Sadhguru really say that he would have done it himself if he thought it was a viable path? I read a book on it which also talked about psychedelics a bit, read it here :

I can relate to practices not seeming to do much, while psychedelics give palpable transformation. However, I've been doing Shambavi Mahamudra and a 5 element cleansing practiced based on mantras (https://learn.divinelineage.org/) now for like 4 months and I've noticed that I have been looking for perception shifts to tell if things are changing. However, if I focus on my subtle energy state, I do notice quite some difference. If I close my eyes the energystate I'm in is actually quite amazing. It seems that these practices work on a subtler level and you might not notice it that fast. It takes time for it to get going and then after a while you might notice that actually quite some change has seemed to be sneaking in. and in all I'm quite doubtful about the psychedelic path, maybe they (as you can read from the part of the book I shared with you above) will mess with your nervous system and you slowly become more insensitive to life.

Also, since you seem to know about Bashar, based on your frustration I don't get the impression you've been following his 'method' of following your passion, or just doing what attracts you the most in every moment?

Much love,

Edited by Waken

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7 hours ago, Matteo said:

Bashar (Darryl anka) also has an interesting and open perspective on them, I’ll share a videoclip of him if you want.

 

 

Yes please


What's the difference between a duck?

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2 hours ago, Mirror of Confusion said:

Yes please

I've assembled a short video compilation with his views about them. People ask him about this a lot and there are too many other videos with this topic, this is just a sample, but it's enough.

 

 

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Awesome big thanks for this compilation. 

Man no matter if you believe in channeling or not Bashar/Daryl is one witty clear speaking Alien/Guy.

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@Matteo LOVEEEEE your story. Dude I relate SO much you have no clue. 

I’ve done RASA 5 or 6 times with no results, very frustrating and he says I’m at 590 from my 577 in the beginning. 
 

psychedelics have been the only thing to help, too. 


Love Is The Answer: LSD Awakening

 

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@EntheogenTruthSeeker Who are you getting RASA with? And, if that LOC is correct, you won't notice much difference yet. 


'One is always in the absolute state, knowingly or unknowingly for that is all there is.' Francis Lucille. 

'Peace and Happiness are inherent in Consciousness.' Rupert Spira 

“Your own Self-Realization is the greatest service you can render the world.” Ramana Maharshi

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17 hours ago, Matteo said:

He kept saying that probably some emotional/psychological/energetic block was keeping me from experiencing the benefits of the transmission. After a while I stopped taking it because I run out of money. I would have stopped anyway, because doing things that I have no clue if they are working or not for extended periods of time while paying for it, doesn’t feel right to me.

I'm an open-minded person but the idea that dude waving his hands at you through skype can get you enlightened never really sounded right to me xD

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Mantak Chia is going to do a guided meditation and transmition through zoom this month to whomever joins it. 

 

Edited by Salvijus

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1 hour ago, Salvijus said:

Mantak Chia is going to do a guided meditation and transmition through zoom this month to whomever joins it. 

 

Do you know when exactly?


"Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything." -- Rupert Spira

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2 minutes ago, Gneh Onebar said:

Do you know when exactly?

No, you have to register by sending email to them. I wrote them today, they didn't reply yet.

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