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Preety_India

The HEALING ROAD

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Ok got it now. 

 

I was going to write about emotional abuse and the hurt cycle. I was also going to write about narcissism, psychopathy and empathy but that can be put off for later. 

 

One thing that I noticed in my previous relationship is that there was a certain pattern to it. 

 

I could put it like this 

- - - - harsh words spoken 

- - - - feeling hurt or traumatized 

- - - - apologizing without adequate acknowledgment, just an effort to win back, no rightful or mutually agreed upon resolution sought even after trying to convey the message "I need a resolution", no fucks given, and no guarantee that such a behavior will not happen again. 

- - - - a lame acceptance of his apology. And then talking to him once again. But at the back of the mind, the hurt remains. Unresolved. 

 

I'd call this the hurt cycle. I had known that this happened too many times, too times I had to forgive and let go until it reached a point where I could no longer forgive because it became a game of my emotions. 

 

One constant resonating theme of the relationship was my sentiment

'he just doesn't care at all' 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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One part of emotional independence is letting go. 

And I'm going to elaborate on this

 

The other part of emotional independence is carefully dissecting what has been spoken and how it was processed. This is a part of emotional regulation. 

The third part of emotional independence is counterintuitive behavior. Lessening emotional Reactivity. 

 

 

The next thing I was going to write about was the subject of emotional abuse. 

And how it plays an important role in our life. And how emotional abuse could be happening on the sly and you not being able to detect it. 

Becoming a pro at detecting signs of emotional abuse 

Note to myself 

A person who constantly aggravates you is really not the best person... 

Edited by Preety_India

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I'll have to write down some of the thoughts I get in my dreams. 

So these are the thoughts 

"why  do care so much about?you're better 

 


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Another part of emotional independence can be taking full or at least partial responsibility for the way you feel. 

The most important question to ask here is

Why I feel the way I feel right now and what did I do to resolve it? 

 

Edited by Preety_India

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Aspects of emotional independence 

  • Recognizing hurt cycles 
  • Ending hurt cycles
  • Full responsibility for how one feels and what one does to address it 
  • Seeking freedom and liberation
  • Counterintuitive behavior 
  • carefully dissecting what has been spoken and how it was processed
  • Detecting signs of emotional abuse at the earliest 
  • Labeling and identifying emotions as they are felt 
  • Letting go and learning exactly when to let go. 
  • Not allowing the mind to stay in an emotional knot 

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Another way of achieving emotional independence is to set barriers and filters. 

A person who is constantly trying to aggravate you or not being appreciative of you is probably not the best person to hang around with. 

 


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I believe in the power of transformation, in the power of change. 

 

 


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Note to myself

 

Don't talk to fake people. They're a plague 

 

 

3var8t.jpg

 

You said you will always be there for me, like a 4 am friend. But when I actually needed you, you just....... 

 

 

3vas4e.gif

 

 

3vas69.gif

 

 

Edited by Preety_India

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Pouring out my juvenile inner child

 

 

Note to myself - 

Don't just focus on desires. Also focus on reality. 

Reality is much bigger than what you can imagine. Look at it. Don't ignore. 

Take responsibility. Don't act like you never had a role in anything. 

Look up and look at the big picture. 

 

3vatap.jpg

 


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When you realize that you are not in the league. 

 

3vb4qr.jpg

 

 

3vb7jb.gif

 

Trying to be that....... Escape queen 

 

3vb9f7.gif

 

Edited by Preety_India

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Learn to label bullshit when you see it. 

 

 


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I'm not pretentious, that's the thing. 

If I pretended here to be this awesome person with an awesome life, that would be a lie and that doesn't help with healing. 

I have to be honest with my emotions. That's a tall order. But that's exactly what I need to do. 

I'm suffering currently from a mixture of emotions arising from multiple things and the breakup hit really hard and in the middle of a pandemic, things have been bad, if I pretended I'm all cool, it's not going to be right, I try to be as vocal as possible, I vent, I put it out all there.. 

It's like my throat Chakra and heart Chakra are in perfect alignment. 

Whatever I say, it comes right from my heart. 

If I look bad or crazy to people who read my journal, I don't care. I'm not here to impress them or seek their approval or be popular for them or inspiring for them. 

I'm me. Just me. Whether you like me or not. 

I can't be anyone else. I can only work through me. 

So pretense doesn't make any sense to me. 

I'm not here to be a model writer or clinch a title. That's like window dressing. 

This journal is my bare soul. What I feel I write. No holds barred. 

 

 

 

3vbb1h.gif

 

Edited by Preety_India

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When I was thinking and writing about emotional abuse, I also wanted to elaborate on spiritual abuse. I call it moral abuse. 

For example shaming a person in my opinion is like moral abuse. 

We aren't aware of it. But in every moment we are suffering some form of emotional abuse that goes unnoticed. 

Take responsibility for your own emotions and detect and stop emotional abuse early. 

 

Edited by Preety_India

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My current focus will be more on emotional liberation. 

This thing is working for me. 

I finally can see the unraveling. 

 

 

 

Edited by Preety_India

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Post pending 

 

Draft post 

(post is in edit mode with all mistakes, will be fully edited later) 

The heart must be set free from whatever is hurting it. 

When you have a negative emotion you feel trapped. The heart suffers extreme stress. This is visible both in the heart rate and blood pressure and also in sleep wake patterns as well as the nature of dreams nightmares. The feeling of vexation and lack of control. The feeling can be described as depressed, trapped, helpless, stressed, pressured, unhealthy, uncomfortable, gnawing, irritated, tensed, disturbed, confused, traumatized, hurt, distressed, chaotic, cathartic, anxious, angry, mad, obsessed, etc etc.... The list goes on. The point here is that whenever the heart experiences discomfort, it's important to listen to it, this is the start, this is the first step, is to listen, see what's making it feel uncomfortable, do not ignore it, don't think that anything that stresses you out is worthy of getting into, no its not, in fact it's the opposite, you shouldn't have to experience discomfort, it's not helpful but damaging... Now the damage can be little or huge. Damage is inevitable but not necessary. Anything that is fragmenting your emotional state should be discarded. 

This post is going to be extremely long and I'm going to be focusing on emotional liberation and the heart Chakra both in the romantic sense and otherwise. 

This will also involve aspects emotional abuse, terrible relationships, and since emotional abuse is such a strong word, I'll replace it with the word /phrase emotional tangling. 

Emotional entanglement, emotional knot or Emotional Jumble. 

And the process of coming out of this will be called Emotional Uncoupling. 

And this can be further taken to complete recovery. This is the new chapter after Uncoupling. 

It's called The Recovery Channel. 

In this recovery channel, there will be phases. 

Recuperation - this is the phase I'll call it the rehab phase where the potential cause is first removed or separated in order for healing to happen.. This is like going on vacation. 

Healing - 

 

 

The last phase is Regeneration. 

Edited by Preety_India

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Post in draft mode

On 4/5/2020 at 8:38 AM, Preety_India said:

It's called The Recovery Channel. 

In this recovery channel, there will be phases. 

Recuperation - this is the phase I'll call it the rehab phase where the potential cause is first removed or separated in order for healing to happen.. This is like going on vacation. 

Healing - 

 

 

The last phase is Regeneration. 

I forgot to write about the healing part, also right now my mind is so muddled with so many things that I can't really figure out how to place healing and what healing will look like. 

Just trying to imagine. 

Maybe during my meditation I'll get some new idea or insight. I'll have some clarity 

Till then I'm just fumbled on this word. And this puzzle is not completed yet. 

Need to wait till I get a new idea or concept in my head. 

 

 

 

 

I'll call the Recuperation phase as the zero aggravation phase

 

 

First is looking at signs of emotional entanglement and then looking towards liberation. 

Recuperation

This phase will focus on awareness, rest, liberation, going away, cutting off and Avoidance. Just like quitting a drug habit.. 

Having space. Breathing. Relief. Comfort. 

 

Healing 

Regeneration 

Regeneration needs love and support. Supportive care. 

This is like the resource building phase or strengthening phase. 

For example - taking herbs that strengthen the parts damaged by the drug. 

Getting prepared. 

 

Edited by Preety_India

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I'm still thinking about the healing phase and what picture I get is 

 

Something like hope..... 

Feeling of positivity. 

Morale building

 

Healing the deprivation with basic resources. 

Giving basic essentials like nutrients food, sleep, water, rest,hygiene, proper basic functioning 

A basic layout. 

I can give an example of injured skin, skin getting soothed by ointments and then finally strengthened by exercise and nutrition and care. 

A proper base to launch from. 

Removal of negativity. 

Replacing negativity with hope and positivity. 

Preparing the mind. 

Reassurance 

Patience 

No further exacerbation

Soothing relaxation calming 

Positive brain enforcement 

Encouraging 

I'll call this the incubation period. 

It's almost singing a lullaby to a child to assure it that everything is going to be fine

 

Another example is of a plant that's dying. Watering it and then caring for it but the first necessity is to expose it to sunlight. 

Here I gave 3 examples. 

One is of a plant dying. 

The other is injured skin or wound healing

And the other is recovering from drug addiction. 

All examples focus on healing from damage. 

I'm also include a graph on phases of healing.... A little later. 

There can also be a possibility of a downward spiral during the recuperation phase. 

 

But this downspiral can be avoided by proper healing. 

Healing is the intermediary stage on the curve between the recuperation and the Regeneration phase.. 

How to bring about healing

Increasing focus. Focus on both liberation and also on hope and positivity. 

Determination to do well

Positivity 

From hopelessness to a glint of hope or sliver of hope. Just the beginning of hope, just that small beginning. 

A spark 

A start 

An example can be something crude, something like a starter 

Your first attempt at writing before you become a writer 

Your first sign of motion in a sprained arm or muscle 

Your first walk around the building or in the nearby woods to get out of your depression 

 

Your first date 

Your first attempt at socialization 

 

These are steps you take towards healing. Of course these are baby steps but these steps are the first sprouts. 

An example can be of soil that is beginning to show signs of fertility, like the first sprout.. 

 

A parched land showing first signs of growth. 

(then comes momentum) 

The body and the mind has an innate ability to heal itself. 

You just have to let it be and activate that. 

Toxicity can hamper this activation process.

 

The mode in which toxicity is prevalent is the damage mode. The mode when it ends its the End mode 

The mode when it actively regenerates is the Active Mode. 

The mode before the active mode is the passive mode. 

In Healing the passive mode is very important. 

The Damage phase --- > the end phase - - - > the recuperation phase - - > the healing phase - - >the Regeneration phase - - > plateau..... Stabilization. 

I'd say that healing is more like the hope phase where you are still figuring out a way out of things and you have just got a way that looks promising. 

Let's say you are caught in a distant island in Jurassic Park. 

You're in a state of hopelessness because you are imagining that sooner or later you will be eaten up by the dinosaurs. 

But you are struggling, you aren't doing good, you have no food, you're living in a makeshift bunker... You are barely surviving. 

 

There are problems after problems. But you're still surviving.

You have a map and you are trying to figure a way out of the jungle.... And let's say you found a way to the waterfall and there you found a rope that you can use to climb to the top of the stones and it looks like you can escape somehow, only you need to struggle for a while before you get it. This is your first sign of hope. The rope... You were hopeless for so long but now something within you is holding on to the hope for good things, you're suddenly energizing yourself to fight through the situation, you are ready for the fight, you are ready to struggle to freedom, you are ready to motivate yourself to succeed and turn your hope into reality. 

This process means the healing phase. The phase of getting ready, getting motivated, finding that sliver of hope, trusting the process, taking the baby steps, holding the rope and having the courage to make that climb.... Making your hope a reality. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Preety_India

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I wanted to write about the phenomenon of energy scattering 

 

And about emotional recession.

 

I created the term emotional recession to identify feelings of hopelessness and apathy. General lack of focus and motivation. No drive. 

This happens during prolonged periods of depression or being stuck emotionally in a bad environment or a bad relationship. 

This phase is characterized by feelings of being helpless or not anticipating a positive outlook for the future. 

The anxiety gets so extreme that it drives away the motivation to do anything positive. 

This anxiety leads to a period of misery and a general feeling of lack and frustration. The resultant feeling of failure causes the person to be detached from their environment and seek distraction in gambling, drugs, self destructive habits and other such things that take the mind off of the situation but not in the most healthy manner. 

Such distractions only serve a temporary comfort from the stressor or trigger but stifle conflict resolution and growth. 

 

I'll call such a phase - emotional recession. 

The phenomenon of energy scattering 

When you find yourself devoting your energy to things that do not help you in your growth or in the achievement of your highest potential then this energy scattering. Your brain feels cluttered. Your focus keeps diminishing. 

For healing to occur, it's important that all your energies get focused on your growth and empowerment alone and nothing else. 

Energy has to come together in a concentrated form to focus on growth. 

This is Concentrating Energy.. 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Preety_India

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What will healing comprise of 

  • Energy concentration 
  • Increasing focus
  • Liberation 
  • Counterintuitive strategies 
  • Monitoring emotional state
  • Creating hope
  • Holding the straw.... The first straw
  • Baby steps 
  • Comfort 
  • Relaxation 
  • Soothing 
  • Positivity 
  • Morale Building 
  • Determination 
  • Having the courage to make that climb 
  • Temporary distraction 
  • Positive visualization 
  • Starting from scratch 
  • Coming out of emotional recession 
  • Healing basic deprivation 
  • Converting hope into reality 
  • Removing negativity 
  • No further exacerbation.
  • No further aggravation
  • Looking towards liberation
  • Avoiding further damage 
  • Avoiding the downward spiral
  • A basic layout
  • A base to launch from. Building that baby step base. Baby Base
  • Getting motivated 
  • Trusting the process 
  • Preparing the mind
  • Reassurance
  • Patience 
  • The Incubation period
  • Positive Brain Enforcement 
  • Actively seeking help 
  • The Spark or the First Sprout
  • Activating the body-mind's innate healing powers
  • Using Placebo Effect
  • Calming 
  • Affirming 
  • Encouraging
  • Reducing Energy Scattering
  • Finding a sliver of hope
  • Hope phase
  • Passive Positivity 
  • No longer hopeless or helpless or at least partial dissipation of  negative feelings. 
  •  

 

 

 

3vkee6.jpg

 

Edited by Preety_India

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 Different manifestations of the heart

The heart is like an ocean 

 

 

3vkm8m.gif

 

 

  • Beautiful heart 
  • Positive heart 
  • Cheerful heart 
  • Guiding heart 
  • Trustworthy heart 
  • Pure heart 
  • Innocent heart 
  • Honest heart 
  • Impartial heart 
  • Virtuous heart 
  • Incorruptible heart 
  • Generous heart or big heart 
  • Open heart 
  • Caring heart 
  • Strong heart 
  • Braveheart 
  • Romantic heart 
  • Positive heart 
  • Loving heart 
  • Sweet heart 
  • Empathetic heart 
  • Emotional heart 
  • Passionate heart 
Edited by Preety_India

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