My Biggest Fear About Pursuing the Truth

[halo]

I think my biggest fear about pursuing the truth/spirituality/enlightenment, is that it will come at a huge cost. That at some point I will come across a pill too big to swallow. Something that cannot ever be unseen. The big cosmic joke?  Or perhaps I have already discovered the truth and spent my entire existence forgetting it so that I can continue experiencing life through different perspectives? i.e. God is everything and created "separation" in order to feel. 

 

 

Part of me says that I only have that fear because I have been programmed to believe that there is always a catch, you can't have your cake and eat it too, everything comes at a cost, etc. 

 

 

But I also want to believe that all of that is only dualistic thinking.

 

 

How do you see through the distortions? This unsettling feeling has probably been the biggest hindrance in going further. I just want to know if the fear is real or unfounded. 

 

[Gnosis]

The cost is relative.