Personality

[Osaid]

What is personality? Is it an aspect of the ego? The answer seems obvious but I just can't wrap my head around it, so clarification would be nice.

[Gili Trawangan]

Personality is a word. There is no personality.

[Eph75]

Personality is a set of behavioral scripts that is based on the belief systems/paradigms that the ego has attached itself to, so that it can assess, judge, accept, reject ... and operate autonomously without mindfulness. I.e. a figment of your imagination, ignorance, that keeps you away from the discovering that you're not who/what it has limited yourself into thinking you are. 

[rNOW]

Here's a simple explanation: You were born, and someone gave you a name. You noticed everything and everyone around you, how they behaved, what worked and what didn't. You noticed what got rewarded and what got punished. You noticed what was appreciated and what was criticized. You noticed what was valued and what was devalued. And just like that, in all that noticing, you cast yourself into a mould that everyone around you put you in. That, is so gradual and unconscious, that you end up thinking, this is me. That you, the image you have of yourself is your personality.

As an example: Ever since I was a kid, my mom would interrupt me whenever I tried to speak something. If someone asked me a question, she would answer on my behalf before I do. And then over a period of time, I felt it is not really a good idea to open my mouth. I retreated into a shell and became an introvert. I disliked being around people even though I could not pin point why. Then that became my personality - shy and quiet. 

Then I move out and go to college. I no longer have my mom around. I also get to do stuff that I find interesting. I am able to ask questions openly and answer them honestly. And people started saying I'm so confident. Then that became my personality. 

That is what a personality is. People at in my family have a hard time believing I am confident and outspoken. People at my college have a hard time believing I'm shy and quiet. None of these extremes is me. Both are acquired traits.

Personality, the word, comes from 'Persona' meaning a 'mask'. So it is something that actually covers up your real face or the real you. How do you know what is the real you? When you let go of all your masks and stand naked. Decide which aspects of you are acquired and let them go. It's a hell of a process and hurts your ego a lot. 

Edited February 22, 2020 by rNOW

[Osaid]

@rNOW Very nice explanation. I think the fact that we have so many different personalities (ex: How we act at home, how we act online, how we act alone, etc) is just a testament to how fragile and fake it can be. Your example of being shy and confident at the same time helped me see this. And yeah you're right it does hurt the ego a lot, which is why I think I had so much difficulty understanding it.

Edited February 22, 2020 by Osaid

[Preety_India]

Perthonality goes deeper than the ego and is connected to the upbringing, cultural and genetic factors. Your perthonality emerges through it. It alters how you think, feel, react, respond and handle situations. The nature of the ego is deeply attached to the perthonality of the person. So if someone is egotistical, it's their perthonality, they're going to have a very fragile ego. So it's actually the reverse. The ego gets impacted by the perthonality rather than the other way around. 

Some factors that influence perthonality are genetic. So if a parent is someone who is addicted to alcohol, known to be sociopathic and having anger issues or mental illnesses, these are going to reflect fully or partially even in the kid. However with knowledge, therapy and other development tools it's always possible to alter the perthonality and make changes to help the person become pleasant