TheAvatarState

Why is the ego so tuned for self-destructive patterns?

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So we all have this machine in us called the ego, and it runs so many processes in our every-day lives. I understand that the ego is necessary for survival. However, it is also the source of all our ills. And one process in particular perplexes me still: why is it so prone to self-destruction? If it evolved to work for us and keep us alive, then why is it so dysfunctional? 

Here's what I mean. Socially, if you become deeply lonely or depressed, the ego will push away others, despite friendship and human bonding being the solution to healing. This is a self-destructive pattern that is difficult to break. 

All addictions, whether it's porn, sex, drugs, food, etc. Your ego is tuned to self-destruct in this way unless you make serious effort to overcome the addiction. Your ego will destroy your self-worth, motivation, and confidence to the point of no longer caring about your own health. 

War/genocide. Hating yourself. I could go on and on. It seems like unless great care is taken, self-destruction is the inevitable outcome of your natural egoic processes. The ego = fear. And knowing that fear is the greatest enemy to personal development, the opposite of love, I have to ask the question: *what the fuck is going on here?* 

Were we programmed to fail? We are supposed to have free will, yet we all have this extremely archaic and dysfunctional system inside of us that is seemingly tuned for fear, deminishing self-worth, and promoting self-destruction. What gives? 

 


"The greatest illusion of all is the illusion of separation." - Guru Pathik

Sent from my iEgo

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It is contextual

  • If you kill a tiger for self preservation then ego is for the win. Fear is good hear, kicks in the fight of flight and gets you ready for survival.
  • If you kill a tiger for trophy then ego has done a bad job. 

That's why the topic of 7 sins have been passed down through generation to know the evil ways of the ego. 

But the primary job of ego is the most important and why it has existed and evolved - survival, without that we wouldn't have even existed.

My take on it is balance.

 

Edited by Pacific Sage

Form is emptiness, emptiness is form.

 

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@TheAvatarState I don't believe the ego is programmed to self destruct.  The statements you are making are broad generalizations.  It was explained earlier about Johnny picking up a core belief that he is not worth of love.  Or he is unwanted.  Everyone's ego is different, and not everyone has that self destructive pattern programmed into them at an early age.  Only certain individuals have that programming.  This is apparent because there are countless people on the planet who don't self destruct.  

There are countless individuals that don't "self-destruct" While everyone's ego technically is capable of holding that particular belief, not everyone actually holds that belief, not everyone thinks exactly the same because not everyone has the same beliefs.

If we all had the same beliefs, we would all react exactly the same to any given situation, and obviously that's not true.

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@Joshi3 @Pacific Sage    thank you for the response. I understand and agree with what you said, but that wasn't quite what I was getting at. 

There are natural mechanisms in place, due to the very nature of having an ego. A rat, if given a supply of opiates in a cage, will drink itself to death. That wasn't programming through experience. The ego will ignore self-preservation in exchange for short-term pleasure. The ego is a deeply flawed system. 

To go back to your point, Johnny upon realizing the flaw in his programming, namely lack of self-worth, will still continue to push away others despite the knowledge of this act fueling his depression. Do you think smokers and heroin addicts don't KNOW it's not bad for them? Of course they do! But the ego will perpetuate the self-destruction unless through radical change and sheer force of will. 

Perhaps it's because the ego evolved for physical flight or fight threats, and in modern society this is mostly no longer an issue. The average person now days can float through life without ever fearing for their physical safety. There are no tigers here! 

This egoic system is completely dysfunctional for modern day life, is my point. I know we wouldn't be here in the first place without it, but... It just sucks knowing I am my own worst enemy. And everyone has to suffer for it.

What is needed is EGO education from a young age. The worst dysfunctions of this natural system in all of us can be worked around if understood and integrated. The nature of addiction. The pitfalls and traps, and their root causes. Everything I've only recently come to understand, would have saved me from years of suffering and self-destructive loops. And EVEN WITH this knowledge of how it works, I'm still fucking struggling because of how deeply imbedded the neural pathways are. 


"The greatest illusion of all is the illusion of separation." - Guru Pathik

Sent from my iEgo

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Ego *seems* to exist when the Self destroys Itself into the ego and the other than the ego, it only exists together with Self-destruction, Self-fragmentation, it is that and it pushes you to Self-realization, because it is a lie that stinks, just as any other lie does. It does not push others away - it creates others. In fact, all existences that are not seen as the Absolute Existence only exist in the illusion of destruction in the mind. And it is not like it ruins your life, because it is that life, that is limited and shall end. Without this duality you live as Infinite Love-Reality forever, no question/doubt about that. In Awareness, there is no-one who could verify, agree or disprove this. Also there is no such thing as the opposite of Love, since it exists by itself independently. Dark is not the opposite of light, it is just the absence or unawareness of light. There is no such thing as the opposite of light. God is always there to include you :) <3 

How is your meditation practice? 

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15 hours ago, TheAvatarState said:

Were we programmed to fail? We are supposed to have free will, yet we all have this extremely archaic and dysfunctional system inside of us that is seemingly tuned for fear, deminishing self-worth, and promoting self-destruction. What gives? 

@TheAvatarState

Your definition of ego is very specific and highly non-conventional.
You were programming that machine that runs your life ever since you were a child so that you could serve a role, purpose, in your environment. The problem does not lie in programming, or performing a role, but rather in the fact that you were not conscious of how the machine works. You did not even know that machine is there and you did not know that it will carry the patterns into your adult life.

The patterns it learned were appropriate in the context of their creation, but they are self-destructive now because your environment changed.

"The ego" as you call it, does not have a will of its own. It's just psychological momentum that repeats patterns that you taught it.

15 hours ago, TheAvatarState said:

Socially, if you become deeply lonely or depressed, the ego will push away others, despite friendship and human bonding being the solution to healing. This is a self-destructive pattern that is difficult to break. 

That is lack of emotional maturity and lack of understanding of your emotional needs.
Not the machine's fault. It's usually a result of bad parenting, trauma or emotional neglect.

15 hours ago, TheAvatarState said:

All addictions, whether it's porn, sex, drugs, food, etc. Your ego is tuned to self-destruct in this way unless you make serious effort to overcome the addiction. Your ego will destroy your self-worth, motivation, and confidence to the point of no longer caring about your own health. 

Addictions serve a specific role in addict's life. They are meant to distract the addict from emotional pain and fear.
They are often rooted in traumatic experiences that were not dealt with properly. This is ignorance in programming, not the machine's fault.

15 hours ago, TheAvatarState said:

War/genocide. Hating yourself. I could go on and on. It seems like unless great care is taken, self-destruction is the inevitable outcome of your natural egoic processes.

Notice that all of these are self-judgments oriented towards the past. You are judging others for judging others.
The self is conceptual and this concept has nothing in reality to correspond with it.


Bearing with the conditioned in gentleness, fording the river with resolution, not neglecting what is distant, not regarding one's companions; thus one may manage to walk in the middle. H11L2

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My reality is a dream. In my dream of reality, there is no such thing as a ‘true thought’, because there is no thing as “a thought”...it’s actually, dream

This reveals that there are therefore, no true thoughts, about me...as those thoughts too, are dream. 

I must therefore be, “the dreamer”, and the total, or entirety, of the dream itself...rather than what appears to be in the dream. (Nothing is in a dream. Thatis dream too...the meaning for “in”...is dream)

18 hours ago, TheAvatarState said:

So we all have this machine in us called the ego,

With all the love in the world my Good man....that’s false. It is one thought. That is the actuality. The ego is that one thought - believed. The “content”...”machine”...is not true. The subtle implication is that a “machine” is a thing, implying “the ego”, is a thing. But it’s not, that is just one thought

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and it runs so many processes in our every-day lives.

In believing that first one thought, this thought, which appears to be linked to that first thought, is also believed. So now we’re believing there is a thing, “machine”, which is separate, and “running things”. But in actuality, there was one thought, and then there was (again) one thought. The two thoughts have no link, nothing at all to do with each other. In believing they do...we are “entering a thought story”...by believing the thoughts, and believing they’re linked. The “congruency”...is illusory. Only in doing this, can there then be the belief...”everyday lives”. It is only in this believing these thoughts, and believing they are linked, that what’s coming next can follow suit.......

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I understand that the ego is necessary for survival.

Notice how you got there, by believing the first two thoughts, and believing they’re linked, congruent. That led to the next thought being believed...”survival”. Now that thought is being believed, and also being believed to be linked to the other thoughts. 

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However, it is also the source of all our ills.

Now there is another one thought. As it is being believed, and the linkage is also being believed...there can now be the identifying as this linkage. 

Notice though, it was one thought at a time. No linkage. 

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And one process in particular perplexes me still:

This gets you to this point, where having identified with the thoughts...actual you appears to be separate. So now, there can appear to be a problem. 

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why is it so prone to self-destruction?

That, is one thought. It has nothing to do with the prior thoughts. Only in believing each arising thought, and the story unfolding by believing they are linked...there can be this “ it “....which is “prone to” self destruction. Without believing that first thought, “the ego is necessary”...this thought would not occur. There is no opportunity for the thought “self-destruction”, without there being this belief in being separate from that which destructs a separate self. That, is one thought

I, in reading this, experience the sharing of each one thought. I am not experiencing the story of it, because I didn’t believe the first thought. 

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If it evolved to work for us and keep us alive, then why is it so dysfunctional? 

In believing the first one thought, then the following one thought, etc...a story is weaved & believed. Only due to this, this next one thought arises. Notice though, now we have given more separation, more life, to this “separate self”. We are now referencing with “ it “, as if there is this “thing”, which “evolved”. That is the content, the story...being believed. There is no such actual “ it “. “ It “ is a series of one thought ‘s. 

Not believing & linking the thoughts....there’s no “it”, and therefore no “dysfunction”. There can be no dysfunction of an it, if there is no it. And there is no, “it”. 

There’s no ego to be “solved” or “corrected” or “fixed”. There just is no ego. When a thought arises implying there is...without believing that one thought...it is clear that there isn’t. 

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Here's what I mean. Socially, if you become deeply lonely or depressed, ....

...then one is believing these exact, “story of the separate self”, thoughts. 

Actual: One thought at a time arising. 

Appearance: They are all linked, there appears to be an “ego” by believing the thoughts, which makes me “the separate self”. (Not really though). 

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the ego will push away others,

Now, one thought arises, which has the content of giving credit to this “entity”, the “ego”...the “machine”...but there isn’t really. It was just one thought, believed. Didn’t feel good then, isn’t feeling better as we go, because it is a tour into falsity right outta the gate (first thought). 

Without the believing of the first thought, there is no “ego”, no implication believed of a “separate self”. Without the belief in those, there is no “others”. Without the belief “others”, there is simply no possibility to “push anything or anyone away”. 

The guidance of this clarity has been present this whole time...feeling. But feeling is being missed, because the thoughts are being taken at their face value - content - believed. 

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despite friendship and human bonding being the solution to healing.

Now this one thought arises. But, without believing the prior thoughts, there would be no “story” weaved of them. Without that story, there could be no “problem”. Without that “problem”, this one thought, would not have arisen, and there not be the one thought that a “solution” is now needed. 

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This is a self-destructive pattern that is difficult to break. 

All thought loops are in believing thought. Feeling will cut through it. 

Were feeling first from the beginning of this, there wold have been no “pattern”. It would have been one thought, which didn’t feel good, and a better feeling (truer) thought would have been chosen. Then, there is no pattern, and therefore, no need to “break” it. 

There’s no pattern, or breaking a pattern. 

There is believing this one thought. Right now. Not this story. Not these old thoughts. They’re gone, done, passed. They have nothing to do with the thought which about to arise next. It is spontaneous, and free of all implied meaning. It can be led by feeling, and worked up the emotional scale, and this one thought which is arising next, can change everything. 

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All addictions, whether it's porn, sex, drugs, food, etc. Your ego is tuned to self-destruct in this way unless you make serious effort to overcome the addiction. Your ego will destroy your self-worth, motivation, and confidence to the point of no longer caring about your own health. 

War/genocide. Hating yourself. I could go on and on. It seems like unless great care is taken, self-destruction is the inevitable outcome of your natural egoic processes. The ego = fear. And knowing that fear is the greatest enemy to personal development, the opposite of love, I have to ask the question: *what the fuck is going on here?* 

The believing of one thought, then another, as if they are linked. That’s all. 

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Were we programmed to fail?

Without believing the thought, “programmed”, there could not be this perspective. 

Without believing the thought, “failure”, there simply would not be this perspective. 

Inspect. What was your direct experience, of “being programmed”? What is “failure”, actually ? (Just a thought, linked with another thought, “me”)

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We are supposed to have free will,

In this story of separation, there arises another seemingly linked thought...”supposed”. Without believing the very first thought “we all have this machine in us called the ego”...there wouldn’t have been the implied separation, and therefore could not be the thought believed “supposed”. 

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yet we all have this extremely archaic and dysfunctional system inside of us

What is your direct experience that everyone else has this going on inside of them? 

That is one thought. Believe it, or choose a better feeling, truer to you, thought. 

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that is seemingly tuned for fear, deminishing self-worth, and promoting self-destruction. What gives? 

How can you believe that, if you didn’t believe the thoughts which led to the believing there is a separate self? 


MEDITATIONS TOOLS  ActualityOfBeing.com  GUIDANCE SESSIONS

NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

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The first trick is that fear is also love, except that it's a limited form of it. When this is realised, fear stops feeling limiting, it starts becoming freeing and creative. The other trick is to direct fear at itself! When fear gets fearful, it eats itself up, it diminishes. That's the whole point of the concept 'ego', is to create awareness of the problem, to shine a light on the shadow. There's no ego in actuality. There's just fear. The concept 'ego' is an add-on, a cunning idea to help us move away from fear by becoming aware of it.

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19 hours ago, TheAvatarState said:

So we all have this machine in us called the ego, and it runs so many processes in our every-day lives. I understand that the ego is necessary for survival. However, it is also the source of all our ills. And one process in particular perplexes me still: why is it so prone to self-destruction? If it evolved to work for us and keep us alive, then why is it so dysfunctional? 

Here's what I mean. Socially, if you become deeply lonely or depressed, the ego will push away others, despite friendship and human bonding being the solution to healing. This is a self-destructive pattern that is difficult to break. 

All addictions, whether it's porn, sex, drugs, food, etc. Your ego is tuned to self-destruct in this way unless you make serious effort to overcome the addiction. Your ego will destroy your self-worth, motivation, and confidence to the point of no longer caring about your own health. 

War/genocide. Hating yourself. I could go on and on. It seems like unless great care is taken, self-destruction is the inevitable outcome of your natural egoic processes. The ego = fear. And knowing that fear is the greatest enemy to personal development, the opposite of love, I have to ask the question: *what the fuck is going on here?* 

Were we programmed to fail? We are supposed to have free will, yet we all have this extremely archaic and dysfunctional system inside of us that is seemingly tuned for fear, deminishing self-worth, and promoting self-destruction. What gives? 

 

Astute observation!

Ego cannot be anything other than self destructive. Because self-destruction is the only relief it ever seeks for! Just like a moth cannot help chasing the flame, and the flame is it's death.

The ego is an unreal superimposition or contraction. The only thing it ever truly wants is release...aka it's own death. In every single desire and the through the fulfillment of that desire, the ego only seeks release. Have you noticed that?

While orgasming in sex, the ego seeks death. In taking drugs/alcohol to dumb down one's senses and torturing mental patterns, the ego seeks death. In watching that fav tv show and eating pizza, the ego seeks relief/death. In sleep, in introversion and hiding away from people, the ego seeks relief/death. In partying, extroversion; the ego seeks to lose itself aka it always really wants its own cessation. So on and so forth..

The ego wants happiness, but it can never get that happiness; it can only die into happiness.

Because happiness/respite/relief=temporary cessation/death of the ego

The beautiful example Rupert Spira gives is the moth...which ever longs for the flame but can never get the flame; it can only die in the flame. And that is the ONLY way the moth can ever experience the flame, by dying into it.

So both mature, constructive egos and fickle, destructive egos are all towards the same full circle of going self destructive on itself...sooner or later.

The ego is like a stretched rubber band. It can't help but pushing in the opposite direction to revert back to it's original, relaxed state. And thus when stretching force is let go of, the rubber band crashes into itself. Hitting itself with it's own self aka self-destructing itself. And that in essence the stretched rubber band ever longs for to get back to it's original, unaltered state.

The biggest tragedy is the ego seeks to relieve itself of itself in the most horrible ways possible, depending on its maturity. Its intent is pure/true. But the means it adopts backfires on itself as they never fulfill the intent permanently.

Edited by Preetom

''Not this...

Not this...

PLEASE...Not this...''

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19 hours ago, TheAvatarState said:

So we all have this machine in us called the ego, and it runs so many processes in our every-day lives. I understand that the ego is necessary for survival. However, it is also the source of all our ills. And one process in particular perplexes me still: why is it so prone to self-destruction? If it evolved to work for us and keep us alive, then why is it so dysfunctional? 

Here's what I mean. Socially, if you become deeply lonely or depressed, the ego will push away others, despite friendship and human bonding being the solution to healing. This is a self-destructive pattern that is difficult to break. 

All addictions, whether it's porn, sex, drugs, food, etc. Your ego is tuned to self-destruct in this way unless you make serious effort to overcome the addiction. Your ego will destroy your self-worth, motivation, and confidence to the point of no longer caring about your own health. 

War/genocide. Hating yourself. I could go on and on. It seems like unless great care is taken, self-destruction is the inevitable outcome of your natural egoic processes. The ego = fear. And knowing that fear is the greatest enemy to personal development, the opposite of love, I have to ask the question: *what the fuck is going on here?* 

Were we programmed to fail? We are supposed to have free will, yet we all have this extremely archaic and dysfunctional system inside of us that is seemingly tuned for fear, deminishing self-worth, and promoting self-destruction. What gives? 

 

Its such a great question.    God was tripping ballz when he made the ego..i.e. you were trippin ballz lol.

But seriously...

Its all survival my friend - and fear is survival

Survival is selfishnes.   Pleasure is survival.

Depression left unchecked will kill you.

If God put limits on the ego it would be selfish of him.   And we'de probably all be dead. 

From God's POV it doesn't matter because its all Love and it is experiencing itself through you. 

"Sometimes the path to discovering who you really are is by discovering who you are not"

-- Neal Donald Walsch -Conversations with God


 

Wisdom.  Truth.  Love.

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The ego is primarily concerned with preserving identity regardless of if it's healthy or not.

Sure it is linked in with the survival instinct but often the ego's desire to preserve self identity diverges from that natural urge so ultimately may be destructive to the body or functioning in society.

Ironically the ego will protect the self even if it kills you!

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23 hours ago, Joshi3 said:

Idk if this helps but https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eight-circuit_model_of_consciousness There is a book about this called prometheus rising explaining how the mind is programmed. Let's say we have someone named johnny. And Johnny's dad did not love him all that much as a child. You could say Johnny has this sense of missing love. And Johnny grows up and then is addicted to porn and self isolation. As much as Johnny would LOVE to connect with people. Ever since a young age Johnny thought he was not worthy of love. Now fast forward today and johnny to save his life can not figure out why he is in this mess of an addiction and why he is self destructing. Because all of Johnny's fucking PERCEPTION is based on not being worthy but here is the catch. If Johnny stopped and became aware of said perception he would realize. OHHHHH It wasn't that johnny wanted to self destruct it was that johnny himself did not realize the flaw of his own programming. A viking warrior is not afraid to die in battle as it is dishonorable to be a veteran. There is no 1 way every ego works it seems. It seems that every ego individually programmed. 

i really like that link, it somehow matches a little bit with my understanding of spiral dynamics. or at least it’s a good comparison,although it’s a little different. and i would maybe reorganize it a little so it would match better.

some questions about the ego may be more understandable when we realize that we did not always have one. it appeared around the age of three. that’s also where we would probably put the first development phase of red (what is not an explanation but an answer to where the ego got stuck a little) in the individuum. in the eight circuit model they somehow put that phase as second phase - because they might have really sorted it in age sequences. but in spiral dynamics you can’t really say all of this stage was developed in that age and all of that stage was developed in that age. so it seems as if they ordered it into first appearances of the stage in the individual and collective perception. 

the third circuit would be purple but in the spiral model it is at the second place because it starts already before the ego is discovered. it begins with intuition and personal tribe bonding. that’s why a lot of mothers make such huge thing out of it. no perceivable ego yet but all intuition.

Edited by remember

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10 hours ago, tsuki said:

"The ego" as you call it, does not have a will of its own. It's just psychological momentum that repeats patterns that you taught it.

Thank you for your response. It cleared up some things for me, and yet brought up more questions.

11 hours ago, tsuki said:

The patterns it learned were appropriate in the context of their creation, but they are self-destructive now because your environment changed.

The patterns it learned were induced by the ego itself. Inability to deal with emotional trauma turns into trying to escape the pain, which results in a physical or mental act (self-destruction) which it perpetuates by momentum. The emotional trauma was caused by natural impulses (fear namely). You must be able to relate in your direct experience: in the wake of certain "trying circumstances" as you might call them, there is a natural pull towards escapes that are self-destructive. I guess it ties in with the concept of Resistance. Your view of "the ego" as I meant, would make sense IF there wasn't this natural force. The patterns you perpetuate TEND to be negatively oriented, and if you look through your life and the lives of others, you can verify it. The system of psychological momentum may be neutral, but as a human you have a tendency towards fear, escape, judging, etc... So this momentum system works against you many more times than not in a modern lifestyle.

 

@Nahm We are having a relative discussion.

If what you said was true (in my direct experience), then I would stop the patterns the second I stop believing in the one thought. However, my patterns continue regardless of what I believe or what state I'm in. I still have cravings. I still sometimes get bombarded with negative thoughts. I want you to understand that through my direct experience, I have verified that there's a system of psychological momentum and pattern-forming "inside me" (I have to use English, please give me a break).

I understand I'm "in a dream," rather, that I don't exist and there's nothing but dream. Believe me, I get it. Even when I was writing my post, I knew that it was a story I came up with. But I have to communicate to you through a dualistic medium called the English language, and I was trying to communicate something we all directly experience. Notice that the way you approached my question was a pattern. "You're just in a dream buddy, one thought led to another and here you are, you constructed your entire existence." Have you noticed that you always talk to people like that? Perhaps you haven't noticed that it's not helpful or applicable to the discussion at hand. Your point is True with a capital T, and yet misunderstands  the relative existence of trying to live a dualistic life. Reality is way more complicated than that.

 

8 hours ago, Preetom said:

The ego wants happiness, but it can never get that happiness; it can only die into happiness.

Because happiness/respite/relief=temporary cessation/death of the ego

 

The beautiful example Rupert Spira gives is the moth...which ever longs for the flame but can never get the flame; it can only die in the flame. And that is the ONLY way the moth can ever experience the flame, by dying into it.

ASTUTE!!! THANK YOU for reminding me of this. I love Rupert! This is what I was trying to communicate. There's this natural tendency towards death, and the egoic system perpetuates patterns. Put 2 and 2 together, and you understand why the majority of our loops turn negatively with respect to our mental and physical health.

8 hours ago, Preetom said:

The biggest tragedy is the ego seeks to relieve itself of itself in the most horrible ways possible, depending on its maturity. Its intent is pure/true. But the means it adopts backfires on itself as they never fulfill the intent permanently.

Yes yes yes. 

 

8 hours ago, Inliytened1 said:

If God put limits on the ego it would be selfish of him.   And we'de probably all be dead. 

From God's POV it doesn't matter because its all Love and it is experiencing itself through you.

All Love.

 

Thank you all, I received the info I needed.

 


"The greatest illusion of all is the illusion of separation." - Guru Pathik

Sent from my iEgo

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36 minutes ago, cypres said:

avoid for example rejection

But why do you want to avoid rejection? Is it really that painful? No, your ego blows it out of proportion through fear, and that fear keeps you locked into loneliness. Your fear keeps you locked into inaction. And loneliness itself becomes an addiction, to the point of not really enjoying other people's company even if you do try. It takes a while to break out, that's why this system is so wicked. Fear was a proper motivator for physical threats we experienced in the past, but it is terrible in social situations. Why do you think public speaking is the biggest fear there is? It has to be something common to the human experience.


"The greatest illusion of all is the illusion of separation." - Guru Pathik

Sent from my iEgo

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@TheAvatarState I hear ya. I not only understand, I experienced the same thing directly. I also communicated it and wanted to be understood as well. No worries. Hope I didn’t offend you. ♥️ I found my misunderstanding of a few feelings, kept the patterns going.


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NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

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Survival is highly irrational and not designed to make you comfortable or happy.

Survival is about keeping the idea of YOU alive.

Thus, as you go from child to teen to adult, you keep accumulating your idea of you and that idea becomes a nasty giant web to the point where if even a tiny pin pokes it, you suffer immensely. This is why children look so joyful and carefree and a lot of adults who haven't done spiritual work may look serious or depressed. 

Survival is a mechanism designed to keep you alive long enough to experience life. But the need to survive causes you to suffer. Thats why we have spiritual work

Prepersonal---> Personal---> transpersonal 

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Gotta improve the prefrontal cortex.

Our brains are like our bodies, with weight training we can increase the bone density of the related regions as well as reap so many other health benefits.

The same with brain exercises or lack of exercise (learn chess, learn games in general and do things daily that really test your capacity for reflective thought). I would combine this with meditation.

Modern education is meant to be the foundation for enhancing the prefrontal cortex but many people don't get that experience because they don't aim for excellence.

So in one sense the answer is simple, find a training activity and aim for long term excellence.

With improvements in the prefrontal cortex you'll be able to self regulate better and have greater freedom of choice at your disposal enabling you to make better health, exercise and psychological choices.

Honestly, to me "ego" is an outdated term and we need to start thinking much more practically and functionally.

Like Leo says, there's structural thinking and content thinking, implicit and explicit. I'd encourage everyone to think as structurally as possible, go to the raw essence, "okay what am I? what does this thing do? why does it exist?" and work from those answers not from mainstream bullshit that just wants your wallet and attention.

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In a nutshell, if you're in a low position you have to figure out what the right activities are and then work your ass off.

The higher the consciousness the more you'll be able to do this.

I mean its not like you're going to die if you bring yourself to collapse, incrementally overtime you'll just become stronger and stronger.

Its about (1) right activities (2) right approach (3) prepared to die to get to the next level - so work ethic (4) having a long term incremental view which protects you from being discouraged from not seeing results immediately.

50 million right now are quarantined in China due to the coronavirus outbreak, we've got it pretty darn good most of us so we don't have any excuse.

I mean if your consciousness is high enough you'll realise there's never really an excuse that can be made as it concerns seeking that long term towards incrementally achieving higher and higher excellence.

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8 hours ago, TheAvatarState said:

The patterns it learned were induced by the ego itself. Inability to deal with emotional trauma turns into trying to escape the pain, which results in a physical or mental act (self-destruction) which it perpetuates by momentum.

Trauma, by definition, is the emotional stimulus that the person is not equipped to process. Seeking relief by avoidance is the right way to deal with it in the short term, when you are supposed to deal with objective damage of the event and arrange your life in a safe way. The problem is that we're not taught the steps that follow, which enable the actual processing of the event in the safe space that has been created. If you don't consciously choose to heal and process the trauma, it will ferment until the patterns that the ego learned to cope with are no longer sufficient to distract you. Then, you turn malicious and self-destructive, out of desperation.

8 hours ago, TheAvatarState said:

You must be able to relate in your direct experience: in the wake of certain "trying circumstances" as you might call them, there is a natural pull towards escapes that are self-destructive. I guess it ties in with the concept of Resistance. Your view of "the ego" as I meant, would make sense IF there wasn't this natural force.

I wholeheartedly disagree. There is no such thing as deliberate self-destruction. There is only lack of self-knowledge that leads to bad decision making. Ignorance, if not addressed, can turn into malicious desperation that seeks relief in destruction of others to justify itself, but it has to be reinforced through years of self-neglect. The ego is not evil. Evil does not exist.

You cannot face the "trying circumstances" if the previous ones broke you and you haven't healed.
Remember that children have much lower trauma threshold than adults. What causes PTSD in a soldier is very different from what causes it in a newborn. Bad parenting is enough to create a lot of trauma, not to mention the superstitions about newborns that circulate hospitals. Supposedly, until 1980 there was a superstition that newborns do not feel pain the same way as adults do, so some doctors performed invasive procedures without anesthesia. Horrifying.

Other superstitions include the belief that if you address every whim of a newborn and answer every cry, then you are teaching it to be overly reliant in life. So, some parents decide to let the child cry until it has no more strength left. That in turn teaches the child that crying is useless and that help will not come. This causes a life-long pattern of suppression of emotions which forces the body to accumulate them. It causes feelings of estrangement and the belief that the world is a dog-eat-dog place. It gets reinforced by over-reliance on the mind and general cunning, manipulation, etc. Getting to the bottom of it requires the person to acknowledge a lot of hurt it had inflicted unto the world, which is more difficult with age.

Psychology is very, very nonlinear and tricky. Actually, in the earliest stages of child development, addressing every whim of a child is absolutely necessary to develop a healthy ego. I suggest reading Homecoming by John Bradshaw for more information. Alternatively, look up Erik Erikson's model of psychosocial development.

Edited by tsuki

Bearing with the conditioned in gentleness, fording the river with resolution, not neglecting what is distant, not regarding one's companions; thus one may manage to walk in the middle. H11L2

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