Trip report - 1.2g of mushrooms.

[DreamScape]

This is my first time taking mushrooms. This started off as something I wanted to do just for the experience and maybe gain small insight. See visuals, meditate, contemplate, smaller stuff. Instead, my whole reality broke apart. 

General release

So, first thing's first. I take them and about a half hour later there are small visual distortions. It looked like objects were breathing and I felt more in touch with reality.  The first thing that I do is cry. because I hated myself. I hated myself because it felt like I would never do things right, I was always wrong. That's how my mom made me feel. I let that out, it felt like a lot of my egoic boundaries broke down. I was no longer resisting crying. I now realize how powerful the mushroom is for healing and breaking down egoic boundaries. 

God realization. 

Wow! this truly was amazing. At one point, I was lying on the ground. All of my anxiety and fear went away and I felt myself break away. The energy was going toward the third eye chakra and the crown chakra. i remember hearing the ringing similar to what DMT produces when you take it. I was not fearful at all. I just kept letting go, I felt so ready to let go. So I did, and it felt like I fully broke through. My fucking god, the ultimate cosmic joke! I am the whole damn thing! You guys were right, this is completely beyond knowledge and myself. 

Realities spanning to infinity + Realization of infinity. 

When mirrors are set up to look at each other, and it produces the effect that you can see mirror after mirror after mirror. That's essentially what infinity is, except when we look into it normally we cannot see infinity because we are conceptualizing it with our mind. I remember imagining a similar effect that I produced when I created that imagery, except I dropped the conceptualization and I saw infinity for what it truly is. Never ending. 

Also, at some point I completely lost my sense of self and it seemed to produce effects similar to what you'd experience on a high-dose experience. It's like the psychedelic art that you see online. I remember, me being in the center seeing reality after reality after reality being created by consciousness. This is completely beyond words and I was speechless. I remember I kept muttering to myself "utterly remarkable" just at the sheer magnitude and beauty I experienced. 

No-self

Nearing the end of the trip, I was in a state where my self-concept completely obliterated. I didn't exist anymore. I was listening to music and the music sounded completely different without myself. It felt more pure and crisp. No way other to describe this other than it felt like I was blank inside. 

Will / Getting what you want in life. 

There's literally no way you CAN'T get what you want in life. Reality is the ultimate giver, and all you really have to do is ask for it, and it will come. This realization came to me because I was struggling with my will and limiting beliefs. This is because god has infinite will and creates anything he fucking wants! out of sheer nothing! people are so scared that somehow things can fail, that they're not good enough, etc. But the TRUTH is, anything you want will come your way. All you gotta do is ask, and sacrifice yourself to your goal. The problem is, is that we generally have unconscious desires that keep manifesting themselves. So we're using this principle, just unconsciously. 

My expression of life force/consciousness

From what I took and understand now, we are all individual expressions of consciousness. Like, yes we are all one, but god creates individual expressions that authentically exhibit different traits and characteristics authentically. I learned that I am a creator. It was so crystal clear to me on the trip, and even now that I'm making this decision in my life. I mean, a creator in art.

My soul is definitely a light worker. There's literally no fucking doubt about it. I realized that my only care is for the mission I have for my life right now. Which is: help many many people and be a source of light. 

I feel like I've known this for a while, I kept questioning myself though. Now is the time to embrace it. 

Existential fear

When "I" started to come back, I felt very fearful. I wanted to come back to myself because of fear. I kept having thoughts like "If I die, then I'm going to lose my goals!" "If I die, I'm going to be so authentic that everybody is going to find out that I had this experience!" 

That's all folks! I may revision if anything else I may have forgotten comes up.

[Leo Gura]

Awesome! You got it.

[Jonac]

48 minutes ago, DreamScape said:

My fucking god, the ultimate cosmic joke! I am the whole damn thing! You guys were right, this is completely beyond knowledge and myself.

[DreamScape]

[TheSelf]

Beautifully written! Thanks for sharing.

[Nahm]

@DreamScape Hey, welcome back. ??

[Inliytened1]

@DreamScape fantastic man.  Nice to hear.    And Yeah discovering its the real deal is one heck of a mindfuck.

[DreamScape]

@Inliytened1 Yeah haha.. I couldn't believe it, and yet it's way beyond belief.

@Nahm Thanks!

[allislove]

Quote

But the TRUTH is, anything you want will come your way. All you gotta do is ask, and sacrifice yourself to your goal. The problem is, is that we generally have unconscious desires that keep manifesting themselves. So we're using this principle, just unconsciously. 

100%

Thanks for sharing!