Help me determine why i feel bad and what do i feel

[Aquarius]

Hi so I made a friend and he was all sad lately like telling me how hard it is and he cant do it anymore etc. Then he confessed he has HIV and that he approached about 200 women in his life but everyone turned him down. 

I was trying to support him and I told him that i accept him and we can hang out anytime and be good friends. I also told him most guys approach much more than that many girls and have even less luck. And finally I told him that life and happiness doesn't depend solely on relationship and he shouldn't base his happiness on someone else.

But he just kept feeling sorry for himself. He did appreciate my words but he is below himself. I told him to work on his depression more.

After and during the conversation I felt really bad  and heavy on the chest, I even cried. I feel horrible and miserable and I don't know why.. I just feel so bad everything makes me feel bad, I feel something similar to guilt, some sort of energy blockage, i cant feel grounded or myself, i feel a deep woe in my heart chakra area like everything is gray and dull and muddy.

So my question is, why do i feel so bad and  heavy? I feel helpless that i cannot help him but is this why i am feeling guilty? I cannot connect with my emotions..

That conversation totally drained me emotionally. Should I continue helping? What should I do? What can I tell him to help?

[Aquarius]

How can I stop feeling bad?

[Nahm]

@Aquarius Life is the teacher. Your experiencing the questioning of your own conviction, and of assertion. A moment of doubt.  Deeper into truth, these wash away. The ‘lesson’ is for you, not him, and it is of relativity and what is absolute. You did help him, and that seed will grow. He has that reference point now, and he has you. You’re a good friend. Classic Aquarius, look through even the compassion, for a yet deeper truth. 

[Rebecca Kalamata]

Ho'opopono. 100% responsiblity for what shows up. WITHOUT GUILT AND BLAME.

[GGG]

Sounds like the guy drained your energy and wants you to be miserable with him forever, without changing anything. Not sure what your relation to him is, but I would avoid any co-dependent bullsh*t from another guy, unless you want to be his emotional tampon or want to suck on his pen*s or something.

Is this too much Stage Orange? lol

Edited February 11, 2020 by GGG

[Raw Nature]

I can remember when I used to be more moved by these things, looking back it has to do with mind-reality distinction.

This simply means, the distinction between (1) my mind and your mind (2) your mind and reality (3) my mind and reality. Identifying these forms in a healthy way leads to a reformation of point of view.

In the end this is a kind of cognitive empathy (so a little imagination required) that helps mature that perspective.

Edited February 11, 2020 by Raw Nature

[Aquarius]

Thanks guys, all answers were super helpful

[Commodent]

Sounds like a deep form of empathy. If you model to your friend how to deal with such feelings it can be profoundly healing. The problem arises when you do not know how to deal with them.