How to let go of a thought?

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

I am asking this, because I feel like I am getting this one wrong! Let's say I am sitting in meditation and a thought comes up. I notice the thought and I just want to let it pass without judging it. So I just bring my focus back to my breath. But to me it doesn't "feel" like I am letting the thought go. It feels like I am forcefully shutting it down! A better way of describing it is that the thought is "fighting back" like an animal trying to stay alive. Like that thought actually has a "will" to live. But what is the thought fighting back against? Another thought! That's where I get confused! Because the intention of letting a thought go, feels like just another thought! I say feels because it doesn't manifest itself as an image, a sentence or a sound. It manifests itself through an action! And that's my problem! Every time I try to let a thoughts go, it's just like another thought! It doesn't feel like a genuine letting go, but rather like a "I am letting this go because I am meditating and that's why I am doing this" which is yet another thought. Do you have any tips on that? How can you ever let go of a thought, if the letting go is a thought itself? I mean I can let go of a thought that has the form of a sentence, but how can I let go of a thought in form of an intention? Or better yet: How do I let go of the objectives of meditation?

[King Merk]

For me, letting go of a thought is a release or surrendering. 

Sure, with focus I can “make” thoughts go away but like you said, it feels very forceful.

The analogy coming to mind is like an exhalation of breath. You can forcefully exhaling, forcing the air out of your lungs OR you can simply relax and allow the air to leave the lungs effortlessly.

Focus on relaxing into it. View it as more of a release to the attachment your mind creates to the thought.  “Letting go” get easier and more natural with practice.  

[Bluff]

See that thought rises and disappears without any effort. It is their nature and you don't have to let them go. 

Just don't hold on to them. After one thought, the next will come very soon, which might be "don't think". That's the fighting. Thought fighting thought. 

What you should do is to direct your attention to the space between two thoughts. Into the stillness of your mind. Stay there for as long as possible. 

[Matt23]

Continually come back to the breath (if that's the meditation you're doing).  Use it as the anchor.  Eventually, perhaps, after "hypnotizing" your mind enough, you'll let go of thoughts without doing it from thought.  Thoughts will simply happen and pass.

If you're trying to actively let go of thoughts, simply do that and perhaps not overthink it too much.  Maybe allow for a certain degree of "thought-intentionality".  

Shinzen Young, if I remember correctly, when teaching his "Do-Nothing" technique, said...

• "Let whatever happens happen.  And, if you notice an intention to change your attention, drop that intention."  --> "This doesn't mean actively looking for intentions.  It means, if, by some chance, you notice you're trying to manipulate/change something, drop that intention."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZ6cdIaUZCA&t=363s 

 

[SoonHei]

outgrow what the thought has to say... it is all endless old-dead echoes which are echoing in your mind over and over...

just as you have outgrown the love of toys you once loved to play with... you will outgrow the obsession of listening to your thoughts as you grow wiser.

[Forestluv]

22 hours ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

Let's say I am sitting in meditation and a thought comes up. I notice the thought and I just want to let it pass without judging it. So I just bring my focus back to my breath. But to me it doesn't "feel" like I am letting the thought go. It feels like I am forcefully shutting it down! A better way of describing it is that the thought is "fighting back" like an animal trying to stay alive. 

Another way is to simply observe the appearances and disappearances of thoughts.

For example, observe the energetics of engagement with thoughts. An easy way for me to observe this is to observe the difference between thoughts and bird chirps. I will close my eyes and mediate in a setting with birds chirping. Like thoughts appear and disappear, the bird appear and disappear. Some thing, both just appearances. . . However, the energetic relationship to the appearances is very different. Attention and awareness does not get sucked into engaging with the bird chirps - yet the mind gets sucked into engaging with thoughts. . . If the mind can enter a space in which thoughts are no different than bird chirps, a new energetic relationship to thoughts will arise. 

[Litaken]

For me most of the things that made me feel really bad are still occuring (recent stuff), it just doesn't affect me anymore. Accept that thought, there is nothing bad with a thought. If you resist it, it'll push you harder and harder. The desperate need to stop thinking something will just make you think more of it  I like to think of meditation like you are your own psychologyst and the patient at the same time, and you say to yourself: you can say or think anything and you won't be judged. This helps you to free up.

Edited February 3, 2020 by Litaken

[WelcometoReality]

@DefinitelyNotARobot Just recognizing that the thought is a thought is enough. That means that you are not identified with it.

You can do the same with feeling sensations in the body.

[Preetom]

@DefinitelyNotARobot

Relax, keep your patience and head cool.

Now the important part: Try to slowly shift your attention from the thought to the 'one' who knows/watches the thought. It is not an act of forcing or suppression but a gentle shift of interest and attention.

In other words you don't have the power to let go of a thought, because 'you' did not create it in the first place! It is only there due to inadvertance, it simply caught you off guard. And now you feel imprisoned inside this fiction.

What you can 'do' instead, is simply depriving that thought of your precious attention. You can do it because now you have a new, mysterious and wonderful direction to redirect your attention towards: The one who knows that thought aka your own self

Edited February 4, 2020 by Preetom

[Bno]

Thinking about not wanting to think about something leads to rumination. I've gone through this in the past which led to panic attacks. I learned to focus on breathing, relaxing, remembering that my worry is just my ego. I've also learned that chanting certain phrases helps, for example: "I live in peace, with a happy heart, a peaceful mind, and a playful spirit."

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

@Bno I see how this could cause panic attacks! I observed the confusion I had and I could see that it was coming from a pretty anxious place. It felt like I was just "forcing" the meditation instead of just letting it happen. I think it was just the ego trying to stay in control!

@Preetom Good tip! I tried observing the observer and it felt like I was moving into the right direction. It felt a little confusing, but it helped my mind be a little more peaceful!

@WelcometoReality It's funny because it's relatively easy for me to not identify with the sensations in the body. It's the mind where it gets a little tricky for me! I intellectually understand that "I" am not the mind. I also do understand that "my" thoughts are simply thoughts and that I shouldn't identify with them. But I can't seem to get these things into my direct experience! I guess I still have a lot of meditation to do!

@Litaken I like that! Reminds me of the saying: "Treat yourself like you'd treat a good friend!" I would feel pretty bad if I treated others the way that I treat myself from time to time...

@Serotoninluv @Bluff These tips were pretty helpful! I saw how both, the sounds of the birds and the thoughts of the mind, arose out of pure nothingness! Just like waves arising out of an ocean!

@SoonHei

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it is all endless old-dead echoes which are echoing in your mind over and over

That's pretty accurate! I see the same thoughts/topics echo through the mind again and again! It's pretty draining, but I feel like I am on a good path now!

@Matt23 Yeah I guess I was making it more complicated than I should have. My perfectionistic ego was just trying to meditate the "right" way... It was trying to force the meditation. It was trying to "get results". I guess I just have to be a little bit more patient with myself! I gotta "let whatever happens happen"! Oh and thank you for the video! I found it to be very helpful!

@King Merk Good analogy! I guess I have to give myself some time and let the "letting go" become more natural. It will come with time!

 

Thanks for all the answers, I appreciate all the help!

Much love and peace! ✌️

[Aaron p]

I read somewhere that Ramana said "the only way to let go of thoughts is to pay no attention to them."

[Forestluv]

38 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

@Serotoninluv @Bluff These tips were pretty helpful! I saw how both, the sounds of the birds and the thoughts of the mind, arose out of pure nothingness! Just like waves arising out of an ocean!

Nice work and insight. 

[WelcometoReality]

3 hours ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

@WelcometoReality It's funny because it's relatively easy for me to not identify with the sensations in the body. It's the mind where it gets a little tricky for me! I intellectually understand that "I" am not the mind. I also do understand that "my" thoughts are simply thoughts and that I shouldn't identify with them. But I can't seem to get these things into my direct experience! I guess I still have a lot of meditation to do!

I was also deeply identified with thought. I guess we are conditioned to listen to them.

You can be aware as the thought arises and let go of it before it's identified with. This can have a forceful feel to it.

Or you can just observe the thought as it arises and passes.

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

@Aaron p So true! I used to have social anxiety, but I then realized that it was my attention that was feeding the anxiety. So I just let it be. I still get anxious from time to time, but the anxiety doesn't influence me anymore! I suppose thoughts work the same way.

@Serotoninluv Thanks! ❤️

@WelcometoReality 

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You can be aware as the thought arises and let go of it before it's identified with.

I'll try to become more aware of them as they arise! Those damn thoughts just REALLY like to sneak into my awareness without me even noticing! 

[WelcometoReality]

@DefinitelyNotARobot Yeah they have a tendency to do that.

For me especially when I'm in the shower. My mind comes up with all sorts of thoughts. At first I recognize these thoughts and they come and go. Sometimes they "catch" me and I'm totally enveloped in them, then at a point I notice that I was "asleep" and that I have awakened from the thought stream.