Ate Candy, Went to Hell

[MrDmitriiV]

Wednesday I took a quarter of a candy edible, which was about 10mg of THC. Barely felt anything, like a micro-dose. A little nice and warm, that's it.

Today I took the other 3 parts of candy, which was about 30mg of THC. This time on empty stomach and with some cheese. Word has it that fatty food increase the absorption rate of the THC. I was worrying that maybe my body naturally rejects weed or whatever...

Boi, this was the most awful experience of my life.

I had 8 LSD trips for example, and the 500ug LSD trip was a nice massage compared to this.

I started feeling the effects at around 20min. It started hitting me so fucking hard, took a while to realize that it actually hit me. I was mind-blown at how strong it was. If with LSD I melt into a puddle of synergy, with this edible God kept my ego and maximized it's dual nature, and burning it to a crisp.

I was telling myself: Everything will be ok. Weed is safe. You're not gonna die.

But I did die. Many many times.

I became so old. Everything felt old like a trillion years. Until my existence crumbled to ashes. To dust.

I died a hundred ways. So a vision of a previous lifetime, dying as an old man. Looking at the window made me wanna jump out of it. Cutting a lemon slice (to make lemon water) made me imagine using the knife to cut my fingers. So a vision of dying as a pig. Visions of death.

Everything felt one fire. DRY AS SAND. I felt like screaming for help. Felt so hopeless. I couldn't cry or move because of how D R Y all of it felt.

Time was slowed down. 1min here was hours or days burning there. Looking a couple hours later at the watch only to realize just 1 min passed by.

Dreadful, Hopeless, Painful, Burning, Dry, Endless Fear

It was as though God took my soul and burnt it on the sun.

There was one moment where I felt like a barely alive zombie like creature floating in line with millions of alike creatures, it was so legit real. Just a lifeless toy in God's hand.

How do I recover from this hellish experience? I lost all hope in "God Loves You" after experiencing something like this. What if we, or some of us, do indeed go to hell like the one I experienced? Does stuff like "sand" have some sort of it's own consciousness? It did feel like I existed as sand.

Now I'm shit-packed with fear and paranoia. Fucking herb of the devil.

 

[Red-White-Light]

@MrDmitriiV They do call it the devil's lettuce.

[Dlavjr]

I feel like people really understate how powerful weed can get when you've experienced powerful levels of consciousness in the past, and in my experience it's a bit trickier to control because weed has a nasty side affect of anxiety and paranoia. The problem is mostly your resistance to the experience. Relax into it, and only then will you realize nothing is happening. Observe your thoughts as you would any other time. Thoughts of mortifying death are just as meaningless as any other thought. You have not yet seen that part of infinite love includes the things that the ego fears most. You have not yet looked outside of yourself to see the true nature of death. Nothing has changed, you have only experienced another state of consciousness. My advice, remove yourself from drugs for a while, take the time to do some growth through other means, and allow yourself to settle and analyze what you've experienced. Read some books, meditate, contemplate, try to understand  and accept that what you experienced was just as much of God and infinite love as all the fluffy nice parts of reality. 

[Forestluv]

Cannabis edibles can be powerful and lead to really uncomfortable spaces. This is why it's important to increase dosages gradually. Going from 10mg on a full stomach to 30mg on an empty stomach is a huge jump. This is why people were suggesting to only increase to 15-20mg.

I've had many of these types of trips - they are mini traumas. The mind and body usually recovers. I would be kind to the mind and body for a while - take a break. If you feel a calling to edibles again, I would reduce to 15-20mg in a nice serene setting.

[Leo Gura]

Give it a week or even a month. It will clear out of your mind.

The lesson here for you is not to fuck around with psychedelics but to treat them with respect. You don't just triple your dose on a whim. If you are gonna have that kind of attitude, expect to be bitchslapped by God.

[remember]

1 hour ago, MrDmitriiV said:

Wednesday I took a quarter of a candy edible, which was about 10mg of THC. Barely felt anything, like a micro-dose. A little nice and warm, that's it.

Today I took the other 3 parts of candy, which was about 30mg of THC. This time on empty stomach and with some cheese. Word has it that fatty food increase the absorption rate of the THC. I was worrying that maybe my body naturally rejects weed or whatever...

Boi, this was the most awful experience of my life.

I had 8 LSD trips for example, and the 500ug LSD trip was a nice massage compared to this.

I started feeling the effects at around 20min. It started hitting me so fucking hard, took a while to realize that it actually hit me. I was mind-blown at how strong it was. If with LSD I melt into a puddle of synergy, with this edible God kept my ego and maximized it's dual nature, and burning it to a crisp.

I was telling myself: Everything will be ok. Weed is safe. You're not gonna die.

But I did die. Many many times.

I became so old. Everything felt old like a trillion years. Until my existence crumbled to ashes. To dust.

I died a hundred ways. So a vision of a previous lifetime, dying as an old man. Looking at the window made me wanna jump out of it. Cutting a lemon slice (to make lemon water) made me imagine using the knife to cut my fingers. So a vision of dying as a pig. Visions of death.

Everything felt one fire. DRY AS SAND. I felt like screaming for help. Felt so hopeless. I couldn't cry or move because of how D R Y all of it felt.

Time was slowed down. 1min here was hours or days burning there. Looking a couple hours later at the watch only to realize just 1 min passed by.

Dreadful, Hopeless, Painful, Burning, Dry, Endless Fear

It was as though God took my soul and burnt it on the sun.

There was one moment where I felt like a barely alive zombie like creature floating in line with millions of alike creatures, it was so legit real. Just a lifeless toy in God's hand.

How do I recover from this hellish experience? I lost all hope in "God Loves You" after experiencing something like this. What if we, or some of us, do indeed go to hell like the one I experienced? Does stuff like "sand" have some sort of it's own consciousness? It did feel like I existed as sand.

Now I'm shit-packed with fear and paranoia. Fucking herb of the devil.

 

the answer is: water! drink a loooooot of water! and might be that thc just is not so much yours. if we would go on debating about poison or not, i‘d recommend to trust herbs but not this one.  or maybe the only thing to be trusted about thc is that it’s not trustable as it completely works different for everyone and it’s not a personal achievement if you can handle it, but a matter of luck like it is to have hay fever or not.

there is nothing especially cool about any mysterious plant if you react in an unhealthy way to it.

Edited January 31, 2020 by remember

[Farnaby]

As others have said, take a break from substances, do some grounding techniques consistently, healthy lifestyle and you should feel better pretty soon.

I personally used get this kind of negative vibe with THC quite often (that's one of the main reasons I quit). Even more with edibles. I guess it's a mixture of bad interaction with my brain chemistry and difficulty to let go during uncomfortable experiences.

18 minutes ago, remember said:

the answer is: water! drink a loooooot of water! and might be that thc just is not so much yours. if we would go on debating about poison or not, i‘d recommend to trust herbs but not this one.  or maybe the only thing to be trusted about thc is that it’s not trustable as it completely works different for everyone and it’s not a personal achievement if you can handle it, but a matter of luck like it is to have hay fever or not.

Do you think these things are a matter of luck as in genetics? 

[remember]

10 minutes ago, Farnaby said:

As others have said, take a break from substances, do some grounding techniques consistently, healthy lifestyle and you should feel better pretty soon.

I personally used get this kind of negative vibe with THC quite often (that's one of the main reasons I quit). Even more with edibles. I guess it's a mixture of bad interaction with my brain chemistry and difficulty to let go during uncomfortable experiences.

Do you think these things are a matter of luck as in genetics? 

no i know that this substance interacts so chaotic that it is not even luck anymore but pure randomness - you can have super genetics and it would still fuck you up! it can be cryptonyte for some people - it’s not predictable.

[nightrider1435]

I smoked during a mushroom trip and had a identical experience to what you just described. One of the most unpleasant things I have experienced so far, it took about 12 weeks for my body and mind to recover from that.

[cetus]

@MrDmitriiV The weed shown you a "state". There are infinite states to be had this being one of them. Now you can say "Been there done that" And move on.

[Leo Gura]

Such experiences also teach empathy and humility. Consciousness is a very powerful thing. It can be as serious as a concentration camp. It's not all New Age crystals and unicorns.

[rlc]

THC gets stored in your fat.

But yeah I've been smoking everyday and a lot for 5 years, and as I've been cutting back recently weed has felt really dangerous because like a fool I'll still smoke similar dosages without realizing it. When I actually do realize I'm basically overdosing I just forget because that's what potheads do, then I'll blame it on something else and do it again.  It's actually been a vicious cycle and this thread is helping me a lot to realize that.

Panic attacks, suicidal contemplation, ocd, the whole 9, really bad and hospital material. I got very similar visions to you anytime I saw something threatening survival it would be like the weed wanted me to do it. Then after a nice night of sleep everything is normal as fuck. I guess this is what its like entering psychosis? 

I'm sorry for what you went through but it's real interesting to hear about its power. 

I'm gonna experiment with this right now and try taking 1 hit instead of like 50 and see if I get a normal feel good high or if I still get paranoid. One time years ago I did too much blow and came down real hard, took one hit of weed and was completely fine- so it can take you out of paranoia too. I'm really curious how weed affects the brain now as you do more and more with a lower tolerance. I don't really get how that can just trigger psychosis. But with high tolerance I can smoke non-stop all day and barley get high. Seems like it should be common sense but what's actually going on with receptors I wonder

 

[Dlavjr]

27 minutes ago, rlc said:

But yeah I've been smoking everyday and a lot for 5 years, and as I've been cutting back recently weed has felt really dangerous because like a fool I'll still smoke similar dosages without realizing it. When I actually do realize I'm basically overdosing I just forget because that's what potheads do, then I'll blame it on something else and do it again.  It's actually been a vicious cycle and this thread is helping me a lot to realize that.

Panic attacks, suicidal contemplation, ocd, the whole 9, really bad and hospital material. I got very similar visions to you anytime I saw something threatening survival it would be like the weed wanted me to do it. Then after a nice night of sleep everything is normal as fuck. I guess this is what its like entering psychosis? 

It's fascinating you mention that, weed is probably the most abused drug there is, simply for the fact that I've never seen a pothead stop smoking until they're practically comatose. There is no line drawn, nobody watches dosages. At least with alcohol you can count your drinks to gauge where you're at, but in my old stoner days I would smoke endlessly without a second thought, almost feeling a sense of pride in some cases when I did. I haven't smoked weed recently due to a mix of personal development taking priority and also I entered similar states of near seemingly psychosis when I'd smoke, but I'd like to really experiment and see what happens when dosage is accounted for. 

[Leo Gura]

I would advise you guys to stay away from chronic weed smoking.

If you want to use weed to trip for spiritual purposes, that's a very different thing than vaping weed every night to chill out.

The way you know you're doing serious spiritual work with your substance is that it's exhausting, you need time off to integrate it, and you're even scared to do it again right away.

If you are tripping properly you shouldn't be eager to trip the next day. There should a somber tone when you even thinking about tripping. It should be something you do with mild hesitation.

[Dlavjr]

34 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

I would advise you guys to stay away from chronic weed smoking.

If you want to use weed to trip for spiritual purposes, that's a very different thing than vaping weed every night to chill out.

The way you know you're doing serious spiritual work with your substance is that it's exhausting, you need time off to integrate it, and you're even scared to do it again right away.

If you are tripping properly you shouldn't be eager to trip the next day. There should a somber tone when you even thinking about tripping. It should be something you do with mild hesitation.

1 hour ago, rlc said:

 

I agree, weed is a little bit more forgiving in most cases by nature however with the intensity that weed affects me personally I find it hard to do recreationally to begin with. Personally what I'd like to see if dosages make a difference, and if weed can be used without engaging it's more negative side affects, just for personal reasons having consistently experienced severe anxiety with weed. I think weed has potential, because it can be productive while not being as intense as such things as DMT or being as exhaustingly long lasting as say LSD or shrooms. 

Marijuana surprises me, similarly to other drugs it should be taken lightly, especially seeing as though it's high risk for addiction. 

[Gili Trawangan]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

I would advise you guys to stay away from chronic weed smoking.

If you want to use weed to trip for spiritual purposes, that's a very different thing than vaping weed every night to chill out.

The way you know you're doing serious spiritual work with your substance is that it's exhausting, you need time off to integrate it, and you're even scared to do it again right away.

If you are tripping properly you shouldn't be eager to trip the next day. There should a somber tone when you even thinking about tripping. It should be something you do with mild hesitation.

I was reading through the thread and thought the exact same thing. I've never felt fully confident before tripping. There's always hesitation, respect, humility.

You never know what you're gonna get.

[MrDmitriiV]

The thing I didn't know is that weed can get this awful on a high dose. LSD is much safer (at least for me), in 8 trips never had a problem. Weed handpicked my nightmares and maximized their awfulness by x100. Awful beyond words.

8 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

Cannabis edibles can be powerful and lead to really uncomfortable spaces. This is why it's important to increase dosages gradually. Going from 10mg on a full stomach to 30mg on an empty stomach is a huge jump. This is why people were suggesting to only increase to 15-20mg.

With the way 30mg affected me, I'll go back to 10mg or even 5mg, it should be enough for me. Just eating it on an empty stomach with fatty food makes it way more potent.

7 hours ago, remember said:

the answer is: water! drink a loooooot of water! and might be that thc just is not so much yours.

Yes, I read that sniffing black pepper and drinking water with lemon helps. It kinda did a little.

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Such experiences also teach empathy and humility. Consciousness is a very powerful thing. It can be as serious as a concentration camp. It's not all New Age crystals and unicorns.

Before this weed trip I got to a profound level of experiencing Love. But now I was shown dark shit beyond words, hard to see the love in experiencing that hell.

2 hours ago, Dlavjr said:

being as exhaustingly long lasting as say LSD

I was in peak hell with weed for about 4 hours, and after-effects the whole day. Those 4hr felt like hundreds of years.

 

[Farnaby]

11 hours ago, remember said:

no i know that this substance interacts so chaotic that it is not even luck anymore but pure randomness - you can have super genetics and it would still fuck you up! it can be cryptonyte for some people - it’s not predictable.

@remember I envy my friends who don't get anxious when smoking weed. Well, I guess it's not for me. 

@MrDmitriiV I kind of get what you mean, it's like being stuck in a mind-fuck you can't escape. Can be really uncomfortable. I suggest taking some distance from substances, taking care of more mundane things that help you feel grounded and you'll probably be feeling fine soon. 

@Leo Gura Yep, chronic use is definitely useless for growth. It's a crutch. However, occasional use without tolerance gives me even more anxiety. I prefer other substances for tripping, weed has a strong body-load for me and it distracts me. But I've also had eye-opening experiences with weed  

[remember]

3 hours ago, Farnaby said:

I envy my friends who don't get anxious when smoking weed. Well, I guess it's not for me. 

that’s the most interesting part of it - you think it’s only cryptonite for you but actually realizing that it’s nothing for you will be giving you powers your friends might not have. also think about what you really then envy about your friends - could be that it’s something different than the cryptonite... i don’t think that weed really is much supportive in a spiritual sense, i even think it’s an ego modulator which almost always leads to a more self biased self defensive mindset - i sometimes think it leads oftentimes more to closed doors than to open ones therefore i‘m really biased about weed as a tool to spirituality. i also think it’s one of the drugs almost no one does just once, therefore already thinking it could be used non frequently is a selfdeception - not doing it is the only way of not falling into the trap a drug like weed is meant to be.

[Leo Gura]

7 hours ago, MrDmitriiV said:

Before this weed trip I got to a profound level of experiencing Love. But now I was shown dark shit beyond words, hard to see the love in experiencing that hell.

Love is a brutal thing.