Yakov

Just finished the army and I don't know what to do

11 posts in this topic

First of all, I must thank Leo for putting out those amazing videoes that help us live our life more consciously.

It is funny when I think about it. I thought I transcended some basic needs that almost every human being has, for example: the need for having a "meaningful" job/position, the need for validation from society or the need of having friends. When I was close to my release date it suddenly hit me. all those needs were never transcended completely. In fact, they became my deepest fears. I endlessly thought "oh shit, what I am going to do now?". I have had a fine position in a combat unit(although, I ate shit every day lol) that is well respected by the society, I really considered what I was doing "meaningful" and helping the society and I had real sense of camaraderie in my company. After I got released, I had a tiny "early life crisis" lol. I get those turning points every so often, but this one was very shocking to me. I was very surprised on the scale I deceived myself (need to be more careful in the future).

So, back to the topic, what to do? I feel like that everything that I put as a need to do, it really isn't something that "needs" to be doing. I imagine myself getting the ideal job or the ideal girlfriend or any ideal life situation, but I know it won't really satisfy me, I know that I will find a reason why I need to chase something else. Although I work in a part time job, study for the SAT(equivalent to my country), workout every 2 days and work on being more conscious, I don't see any true reason on why I am doing those things. I only see selfish reasons and those reasons aren't satisfying me deeply. Maybe I shouldn't put "bad meaning" to those selfish reasons, maybe I should find my true calling in life(aka life purpose). any advice or insight about by confusing thoughts?

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8 hours ago, Yakov said:

So, back to the topic, what to do?

Nobody can answer that, only you.

Just contemplate on paper what you wanna do with your life. Go deep. Ask why on your answers. See Leo’s vid on contemplations. You can share that if you want here.

The Power of asking questions; Life unfolds in chapter and phases; (Vids to watch)


"It is the emptiness within the cup that makes it useful."

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I don't know you, but it seems to me that your problem might be not knowing or not being okay with what you really want. Do you live your life for other people or yourself? Do you know what you really need?

If a meaninful job (or life purpose), validation from the society and friends is what you really want, why not go for those things? Not "ideal", but meaningful for you specifically. Do you know what that might look like? What kind of life would give you a sense of relief?

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@MrDmitriiV That's the way to do it. 

@Yakov  I'm very happy to see you've become aware that those needs won't just go away. The fact that you are conscious of it will allow you a certain freedom. I myself had to go through it. Work on yourself and your life.

For example - I am very young, so the current phase of my life that I have consciously began is about structuring my life abundantly and working on the skills it takes to do so. I'm processing shadows and fears by constantly approaching them and adopting a self-loving attitude. This is to prepare and nurture me for what follows next. 

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On 1/29/2020 at 0:17 PM, MrDmitriiV said:

Nobody can answer that, only you.

On 1/29/2020 at 2:55 PM, Pallero said:

I don't know you, but it seems to me that your problem might be not knowing or not being okay with what you really want.

On 1/29/2020 at 2:59 PM, Ero said:

 

@Yakov  I'm very happy to see you've become aware that those needs won't just go away. The fact that you are conscious of it will allow you a certain freedom. I myself had to go through it. Work on yourself and your life.

Thanks for the replies.

Basically yeah, it all comes down to what I decide to do. As I think further on this issue, I realize that maybe I looked at it from the wrong angle. Instead of looking at it as "there is a thing and I need to find it and do it, if not, my life will be bad". This motivation comes from a lower ground, from avoiding suffering, from fear. Maybe I need to look at the issue form a higher perspective, like there is no "me" involved. Just look at reality as it is as best as I can and act from that point. I need to contemplate on this more for sure.

 

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Hi stranger,

To me it seems that you are seeking guidance for what to do with your life after the army.

What I suggest is to start doing things instead of overthinking. What I'm trying to say is that sometimes we overthink situations and scenarios without taking actions and really see what make us feel good about life. Have you tried to speak with any Career advisor? Have you heard  of the Myers Briggs? Perhaps it will benefit you . They can give you some work to do for yourself and identify some career ideas that will satisfy you as an individual.  

 

Good luck buddy.

 

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Also there's the purpose course from Leo it might help

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Have you thought about going for a trip to "find yourself" in India or somewhere for a few months or more? And tasting some mushrooms may be Like many in your position do

 

I mean like going solo

Edited by Muhammad

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On 3.2.2020 at 1:43 AM, Yakov said:

Maybe I need to look at the issue form a higher perspective, like there is no "me" involved.

If by "me" you mean your fears, then yes. But keep in mind that it's your life and your decision. They are also your fears. Unfortunately, you can't escape them. The only way is to deal with them directly. So for example, if you're afraid of unemployment or not having something to do, that's the fear you deal with. If I was unemployed, what bad thing would happen? Why would that be bad? Then you go into the emotions that arise from it, like shame for example. You'd think something like, "I would be a failure". Then you work with that. Go right into it to inspect it and understand it.

Then you'll be free. Good luck. :)

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Being a soldier of a corrupt society isn't something to root about because others are cheering, that's just like being a bad singer but because everyone's cheering it not only doesn't matter, it's singing that warrants respect. 

The human condition is deeply entrenched in approval seeking, it's what makes the system work. But when the system facilitates and incentivises corruption, the system is the enemy.

Edited by Raw Nature

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My only harsh recommendation, which is harder than the army is that you need to learn to think for yourself. Develop a coherent philosophy that is grounded in as much truth, reason and morality you can fathom as well as improving your prefrontal cortex so that you can follow that philosophy as opposed to succumbing to primal impulses. 

That completes the meaning of your life.

Nothing more and nothing less.

Less than 5% of people do this but this is the only true path.

It's the only real way to make the world a better place.

Edited by Raw Nature

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