How to really get rid of a hardcore addiction.

[Name]

Leo's video about addiction is just BS.

what it consists of is:
>70%fear of nothingness and how we will die and live with this 'nothing' for an eternity,thing that I'm sure he changed his opinion about

>Meditate,either do mindfullness meditation or do nothing tehnique or idk what.

He said that all addiction is based of fear of nothingness,which is BS.

Addictions don't have anything to do with fear of nothingness per se.

If you want to put it this way,survival is rooted in the fear,but this means that even if I fart I fart because of the fear of nothigness,because me farting is related to me surviving.

 

>How to really get rid of a hardcore addiction?

The rood of a hardcore addiction is based on you wanting X despite the negative consequences.

And X can be Drugs,porn,alcohol.

You have to ask yourself if you really want to live in the truth,the truth being that X is fucking up your life.It did fuck up your life and it always will,no matter if it is 5%X, 20%X or 100% X.

Your past is a proof of this.

You either live a lie or live a truth.

Make it black and white.

There cannot be a gray area.

Ask yourself this everytime when you have an urge: "If it's fucking up my life why do I want it?"
 

Stop making excuses like "dadadada........so I'll just get high".

 

Meditation is not the foundation of sobriety,but your priorities are.

Because meditation is a distraction, you're running away from your urges by meditating.

I'm telling you how to get rid of urges if there is any which pops up from your subconscious mind,just ask yourself "If it ruins my life why would I want it?"

and when you have an urge you make a choice,you either relapse and will regret it,or abstain and stay sober and live in the truth.

You have to have a stoic mindset,Pain,anxiety,they are your friend.

DO not run from the withdrawal symtoms.

 

My point is that meditation doesn't work as a foundation because it doesn't tackle the urge per se,it's just makes a delay,but you still want X,even if you meditate or not.

 

The bottom line is this: If you want to get rid of a hardcore addiction you have to keep this in mind:
 

You cannot lose sight of the truth,X will always ruin your life.

X is just a lie,you're denying the consequences of your problem..

You want X so bad but you want it without the consequences.

SO when you have an urge ask yourself "Will I accept the truth and live a life based on the truth or I'm going to tell myself a lie and belive and live a lie?"

 

The problem is not your mind(your subconscious which comes with urges), but it is you.
As long as you desire X,you crave X,you lust for X, you won't be able to get rid of it,you'll just come up with an excuse to do it.

You can run from it as much as you can,you can meditate for months,it won't change anything.

Last time when I relapsed I meditated for 2 hours straight and I binged even more because the usual binge+reward binge for my meditation.

 

What I'm telling you is simplier than you think: Ask yourself why you desire something that ruins your life.

Why do you value getting high?

Instead of coming up with an excuse to do X,come up with an excuse to do no-X

 

Gabe Dawg made a video about it,kindalong but you can 2x it and it can be applied for any addiction,just replace PMO(porn masturbation orgasm) with your hardcore addiction.

link: 

 

Also Porn is really a problem,I don't know why Leo dismissed it in the past.
But a lot of people are getting hooked by this shit and it's hard to quit because it hijacks your mind.
I'm telling you,this shit makes you very low,it makes you physically weaker and dumber.It makes you dull brothers.

 

[Bill W]

A lot of people getting hooked on porn because they have a have a big hole in their life that they are not addressing. They then think getting on top of their porn consumption and fapping amount will somehow make them a new person. Porn is a convenient scapegoat. 

If you don't do things in moderation this is what happens. And if you have a true addiction then you better be 100% comitted to addressing it. 

Addiction and fear are closely linked. I've never met an addict who is not in some way absolutely riddled with fear and inner angst.

[Name]

@Bill W

19 minutes ago, Bill W said:

A lot of people getting hooked on porn because they have a have a big hole in their life that they are not addressing.

 

so did you came here to look smartass?

When I got hook on porn I was 10 and my life was super cool.

I just got hooked by it just because it's addictive not because I had a big hole in my life life.( I think that you have a big hole in your head)
@Bill W

21 minutes ago, Bill W said:

 

If you don't do things in moderation this is what happens. 

yeah sure, try cocaine in moderation.

I'm not saying that everyone who does porn or alcohol is addicted,but those who are addicted and try to quit,they have to quit cold turkey,because there is no moderation,moderation turns into binge before you realise.

[Name]

26 minutes ago, Bill W said:

 

Addiction and fear are closely linked. I've never met an addict who is not in some way absolutely riddled with fear and inner angst.

Might be the case,but this is not the root of it.
The root of it is your desire to get high.

I meditate consistently and managed to get rid of my anxiety,but I still relapsed in the last months a lot.

And the root of it is not fear or childhood trauma.

"ok maybe some fuckup shit happened,but what the fuck does this has to do with you relapsing or not?"-Gabe Dawg

it doesn't.

It's just we finding excuses: I'll relapse because anxiety,I'll relapse because of trauma,I'll relapse because of depression,I'll relapse because my life sucks.

 

 

[4201]

2 hours ago, Name said:

As long as you desire X,you crave X,you lust for X, you won't be able to get rid of it,you'll just come up with an excuse to do it.

You can run from it as much as you can,you can meditate for months,it won't change anything.

Last time when I relapsed I meditated for 2 hours straight and I binged even more because the usual binge+reward binge for my meditation.

What you describe here is not hard rules of how you work as a human but what the ego does. The point of meditation is to notice the ego before it acts unconsciously through you. There's absolutely no guarantee that sitting down for 2 hours will give you any consciousness. It is easy for the ego to sit down for 2 hours and lose itself in its stories convincing itself of how useless meditation is. When it comes to meditation, quality should go over quantity. If you don't understand how meditation works or it doesn't reasonate with you, there's little use to neurotically force yourself to meditate to prove to yourself that it doesn't work. The way to get rid of addictions is to notice the thoughts in you that lead to this automatic unwanted behavior. Noticing how you feel when you do the unwanted behavior is also a good idea, as it helps reinforce the idea that this behavior is not something you want. Mindfulness meditation is the training for noticing thoughts but you don't need meditation in order to start noticing thoughts.

You seem to have noticed how you feel when you masturbate. That's good work, that's actually some bit of consciousness! But be cautious not to mix up how you feel and what reality is. True it takes away your energy and your mood, but it's not true that it makes you physically weaker or dumber. There can be a correlation between your energy and your performance indeed, but this lack of energy you get could also be attributed by the shame you inflict to yourself after every time your masturbate.

1 hour ago, Name said:

 

I just got hooked by it just because it's addictive not because I had a big hole in my life life.( I think that you have a big hole in your head)
@Bill W

 

Please be respectful to the other members of the forum. This name calling is not giving you anything and prevents people from taking you seriously.

1 hour ago, Name said:

It's just we finding excuses: I'll relapse because anxiety,I'll relapse because of trauma,I'll relapse because of depression,I'll relapse because my life sucks.

You seem to dislike the idea of not taking responsibility for your own behavior, you don't want to blame your addiction on past trauma instead you want to take 100% responsibility for it. That's great, but you have to see that your current ego is conditioned by the past. You weren't born with a porn addiction : porn or even addiction wasn't a concept in your mind when you were a baby. I can't tell you what it is in your past that lead to your current state but that's something you gotta figure out by yourself. And sure, you are 100% responsible for your past conditioning.

When you are asked to think about your childhood, how do you feel? We don't really care about the explanations of why looking at the past is BS here but what you feel and why you feel like that. There's definitely lots of unaware feelings that are trapped in there, as for everybody. Yet you are so used to those shitty feelings that you just identified them as being normal and you seem to think that everybody is living the same hell as you.

Edited January 29, 2020 by 4201

[Javfly33]

Go to a detox, seriously.

Nowdays there are free ones, at least in my country.

You'll stay with plenty of other people with addictions and you will learn a lot. I remember my father when he went to detox he recommended me to go (even though I didn't have hard addictions) he said I would learn a lot being there for a good couple of months.

I don't know about how bad might be your porn addiction, but all I can say is that much of the problem of it when away when I realized much of the bad vibe if it were due to shame and self-esteem deficiency beliefs.

I still absolutely hate how my mind/body feels after I binge on porn, but I just don't pay it that much attention.

Even more, when I actually let go a little bit of the shame of porn and accept it, I automatically stop watching so much porn. Literally my porn use was linked to self-hate, I would relapse when I feel particularly helpless. 

Having said that, there are days that you are particularly horny and its way more enjoyable to use porn in that moment, but that can be like 1-2 times a week. If you try to get it out of your way fast, then it just 1-2 times a week when you feel a little bad for a 3-4 hours.

I know it's not perfect, but if you are honest you can perfectly be happy even if you feel bad 8-9 hours a week, there are plenty of ill people who are in pain more hours a week and they are able to appreciate and be ok with life.

Having said that you shouldn't settle for reducing your addiction!. Sure keep working on it but realize that sometimes you really really have to change your life in order to let go of such big long term habits like porn, and second in the meanwhile don't get destroyed by it and fall into depression. I've found that the 'nocebo' effect of porn in people who are on the no PMO way suffer tremendously more because they make the release worse than it is .

Edited January 29, 2020 by Javfly33

[Name]

@4201 dude i think that this whole forum is just a circler jerk and you're jerkingyourself off on my post.

You're acting smart and but your whole theory of 'its not you its your ego' is just a lot of bullshit that you should shove it in your ass because its just useless.

It doesn't matter if you are the ego or not,the war of addiction is still the same.The urges won't go away.

19 hours ago, 4201 said:

 

Please be respectful to the other members of the forum. This name calling is not giving you anything and prevents people from taking you seriously.

 

Please shut the fuck up and put your morality in your ass.

 

19 hours ago, 4201 said:

t is easy for the ego to sit down for 2 hours and lose itself in its stories convincing itself of how useless meditation is

thats not meditation,I said that I meditated 2 hours.Are you dumb or what?

 

19 hours ago, 4201 said:

The way to get rid of addictions is to notice the thoughts in you that lead to this automatic unwanted behavior

No its not,I did that,guess what,you cannot control yourself.
I think that you just assume things but you never were a hardcore addict.

You can notice everything you want,but if you still crave X you will relapse.

19 hours ago, 4201 said:

And sure, you are 100% responsible for your past conditionin

What?Holy fuck how delusional you are.I am not responsible because I was raised this way,but I take responsability over the consequences instead of blaming,there is a difference.Can you use your brain more please?

 

19 hours ago, 4201 said:

When you are asked to think about your childhood, how do you feel?

Why the fuck do you ask me this?This post is not about me lol.

but yeah,you need to circle jerk too with the others and to look smart and helpfull even when nobody asks for help.

[Name]

@Javfly33

11 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

ure keep working on it but realize that sometimes you really really have to change your life in order to let go of such big long term habits like porn,

No mate,thats bullshit.
You either want porn or not.Stop using excuses.
You can have a beautifull wife,perfect kids,a perfect life and still be addicted to it.

The only thing that you have to change in order to get rid of pmo is the part of you which wants pmo.

11 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

Go to a detox, seriously.

Detox is running away from yourself.

Like any porn blockers and shit.

You'll detox and come back to it when you feel like.

Unless you don't want it,but if you don't want it you won't need detox in the first place.

 

[Bill W]

Look it's hard enough for mature adults to give up addictions, so the odds are stacked against you going by the way you are carrying on here, @Name

No one seems to be buying into your message. 

What's your issue with Porn? What's the problem? What are you doing about it? 

[oMarcos]

abstinence and pray

[King Merk]

All addictions stem from an unmet need. 

Focusing on removing porn won’t cure the addiction. You’re stuck on the surface bro. Go deeper. 

Porn isn’t the problem. Theres something deeper troubling you. 

Stop treating symptoms and get down to the root issue.

Edited January 30, 2020 by King Merk

[Farnaby]

@Name If you are so sure about the right and only way to get rid of an addiction, why the need to attack everyone who has another way of looking at it? Just do what works for you. 

I think you are mistaking having nice things/people in your life (a job, a wife,  money, etc.) with being fundamentally at peace and happy. Many people have a life that looks perfect from the outside but feel deeply miserable. That's where addiction has it's place, to cope with that suffering. 

Also, meditation is not about distraction, it's the exact opposite. By bringing your attention to your urges, you can watch them come and go without acting out on them. I agree that there are other steps needed to overcome an addiction, but IME it's a great practice if done consistently. It's also great for noticing the excuses you were talking about.

[BlessedLion]

@Name i think it's obvious you are addicted to shit, it has clearly rotted your mind 

[Javfly33]

On 29/1/2020 at 10:55 PM, Name said:

@Javfly33

No mate,thats bullshit.
You either want porn or not.Stop using excuses.
You can have a beautifull wife,perfect kids,a perfect life and still be addicted to it.

The only thing that you have to change in order to get rid of pmo is the part of you which wants pmo.

Detox is running away from yourself.

Like any porn blockers and shit.

You'll detox and come back to it when you feel like.

Unless you don't want it,but if you don't want it you won't need detox in the first place.

 

@name Ok I respect your opinions/discoveries , if you don´t want to listen to even a 5% of what I am trying to share with you why do you open a thread that says "How to really get rid of an addiction"? 

Not replying to you in a bad way, btw. Just to give you an insight. It´s kinda funny if you got already the answers why do you ask for advice.

Trust me that detox sometimes it´s neccesary. As you said you can you can have a beautifull wife,perfect kids,a perfect life and still be addicted to it, because brain pathways are very very intense if you are constantly using some drugs.

I don´t know man, do what you think you have to do. I´m just saying it wouldn´t be hurt you take some of my advice. Maybe 5%?

[Dayo]

@Javfly33 He just wants you to agree with him. Since he knows the answers to his problem, just leave him to do the work himself. I don't have answers for him.

[Hatfort]

First try for yourself, inform about it, there's a lot in the internet. If it doesn't work, seek help and be open about it. Look in your personal life, family or friends you can trust. Professional help is worth to consider too.

Don't give up, others have conquered it and you can too. You'll be stronger once you've done it, think about that.

[Lento]

It's not possible to get rid of an addiction. "You" simply can't do it. There's no doer, so there's no quitter.

It'll run its course whether you like it or not, and then it may spontaneously go away, or may stick with you until the end of your life. However, you can either treat yourself with love throughout it all, or you can hate yourself for being who you are. The choice is yours.

Also, you can turn the addiction into an advantage if you're really gifted. Just basically understand that the addiction is not your enemy. It's serving a purpose. Find out what that purpose is, and utilise it.