I am disappearing. What to do?

[Lelouch Lamperouge]

I have three interlinked problems:

1. I am literally disappearing. My physical presence disappears.

2. I feel as if my consciousness is ripped away from me. 

I don't know what to do because consciousness work led me to the totally opposite state. My consciousness is more suppressed and stifled than it was before any work.

3. I am neutralized by objective reality. When I open my eyes, my perception is flooded with external reality. It wasn't like that before I started work. Before, I had kind of a 'border' that separates eyes from reality, and my consciousness was okay, but now there is no border, its just one big mess and I feel extremely unconscious.

Edited January 21, 2020 by Lelouch Lamperouge

[Mu_]

How long has this been going on?  From what I've read, and experienced myself, these types of re-orientations and transitions can take time and be very challenging.  It at times can feel like a psychotic break down as there's a acknowledgement of dissolving, yet being present none the less.  Feelings of spacy, not able to access thinking or think coherently, overwhelming emotions such as anger, fear, depressiveness.

Was this something that came about after doing something for a while, or just out of the blue?  If so what happened?  The more you share the better I can possibly help.

[Nahm]

No problem .... just the perspective there is a problem.

The true self can never change nor disappear, and anything “you” worry about - notice, you are holding it as “separate” from, “you”...thus creating “something” to worry about. 

Keep doing the work. Get help on your techniques, and finding what the best practices for you could be. 

 

“I’m what’s aware of this”.