5-MeO-DMT - Wedding Jitters

[PlayOnWords]

Hello people

I'm torn. 

You see, as the great Notorious once said, I am ready to die. I am very interested in dying. Mainly because I am sick of ego dictating my life with fear.

I bought Martin Ball's book Entheogenic Liberation: Unraveling the Enigma of Nonduality with 5-MeO-Dmt energetic therapy. Wherein he states, one is strongly advised not to trip alone, and that using this substance can lead to negative side effects for some people. Like if they just use it once or twice, or have some real deep shit inside them which can be exasperated initially. But keep in mind he is talking about freebase. There's enough for 7 breakthroughs and 40mg spare for building up to the big day. HCL salt. And I would be tripping alone. 

Basically, my main concern is that this just blows my shit way out of whack and I actually end up worse off. On the flip side, it could be one hell of a transformative, healing experience. Which does seem to be the common theme.

Some of you will know that my current intention with tripping (and life in general) is healing and releasing emotional blockages and trauma which is keeping me stuck. According to Dr. Ball, 5-MeO is the best for this. 

But then there's Lucy, whom I am on familiar ground with and have done at least 10+ journeys with since age 16. Nearly all pleasant. 

I guess I'm looking for a push in the right direction. Should I go for the jackpot with 5-MeO, considering I feel like I am ready to surrender myself and die or go with LSD, attempt some initial healing on a bit of a steadier ship and then move onto 5-MeO? 

My intuition feels conflicted and is sitting on the fence with this one. I really want the MeO, but caution is telling me to go with LSD. 

Any help appreciated x

 

 

Edited January 21, 2020 by PlayOnWords

[kieranperez]

1 minute ago, PlayOnWords said:

I am sick of ego dictating my life with fear.

Whose the one saying that?

Look man, if you want to heal, then experiment with what effective resources you can utilize to facilitate that aim. There is no right path, right direction, right trajectory, etc. in the end. I suggest you get honest with yourself about that and also with what you want. 

The likeliness of 1 trip “ruining” your life is unlikely. I would bet you most people who’ve gone into 5-MeO are still more or less the same self they were before they took it. Also, don’t confuse states for Absolute Truth. What’s true is true NOW and you don’t need some far out state to become conscious of what’s true. However, that takes responsibility and accountability to own that and do the work despite of that. Working on the person is done in the world of relativity.

When you get honest and listen to your heart and follow what your heart knows (and not how your mind interprets the knowledge of your heart), you’ll know what to do... and when you do, DO IT. 

[Bazooka Jesus]

Did you ever have a full blown ego death exeprience on LSD? If so, how did it feel?

[outlandish]

Well luckily you don't have to get married to 5-MeO-DMT, you can have a fling and see how it goes. Just get your feet wet with it and see how it goes. You don't need to blast your brains out on 5-MeO-DMT, work with the substance step by step and explore the turf.

If you're ready for it and you feel the calling, and are just a bit tentative because it's new territory, then here's a gentle push out the aircraft cabin... 1-2-3 .. Don't forget to pull the cord!

[Forestluv]

I would be mindful of your orientation and intentions.  

17 hours ago, PlayOnWords said:

You see, as the great Notorious once said, I am ready to die. I am very interested in dying. Mainly because I am sick of ego dictating my life with fear.

This is a very big statement. Entering "death" zones with 5-meo can be extremely intense and difficult to work through. From my experience, I have an immense respect for the power of 5-meo. The theme of death goes very deep and I would be cautious in how deep you go in the beginning.  Especially since you wrote the below:

17 hours ago, PlayOnWords said:

Basically, my main concern is that this just blows my shit way out of whack and I actually end up worse off. On the flip side, it could be one hell of a transformative, healing experience. 

If you were ready to die, it doesn't matter if you end up "worse off" - there would be no "you" to be better or worse off. It wouldn't matter if your shit got blown way out of whack and you went insane. This is death. Everything is surrendered and one has no control over the outcome.

To me, your orientation is more toward gaining insights and realizations that can help your person, mind and body to heal, transform and gain wellness. It seems you want the old fearful self to die and to create a new and improved healthy self. Imo, that is a totally legit use of 5-meo. That is a very loving intention for the mind and body. However, that intention is not for the full monty and I would be cautious with your dosages. I would highly recommend starting with a low dose and working your way up to moderate doses. Low/moderate doses can give meta views and allow you to see things like you've never seen before. They can be transformative and healing.

I would also have a positive attitude, that this will be a positive loving experience of insight, transformation and healing. Ask the Universe to bring that into your life. . . Higher doses of 5-meo can be a very different experience and intensity. I would say prior experience, transformations and purifications are really important. Ime, at higher doses everything is on the table. 

For me, it is also important to have respect for the power of 5-meo and enter the trip with a sense of humility and surrender. I have entered trips with a sense of cockiness and got my ass kicked. 

 

[PlayOnWords]

@Bazooka Jesus I would say a minor ego death. It wasn't like I lost myself for the entire duration of the trip. It was a glimpse at The Source. But, just exactly that. A glimpse. Very profound though and an afterglow that lasted a couple of days of inner peace and freedom. Then things went back to normal.

@kieranperez nice words, thanks x

@outlandish AHHHHHHHHHHH....

@Serotoninluv you're absolutely right. I want that change, the old self to die and a new, healthier, free self to flourish. Suppose a less grandiose form of death than originally suggested. But I still forsee the day when I will want to release it all. This seems like a good step and what I want for now though. I'll heed yours and Outlandish's suggestion on lower dosages and experiment with that for now.

Thank you brothers/sisters x

[Bazooka Jesus]

@PlayOnWords  Awesome. Why don't you blast yourself into the fourth dimension with 400-500 μg of acid as an intermediary step and then take it from there? (This is actually my personal new year's resolution.)

[outlandish]

@PlayOnWords I should have said Don't forget to not pull the cord! 

[Forestluv]

@PlayOnWords I think you have a healthy orientation and mindset. 5-meo can teach you more in 1 hr than I could in 1 year. 

[PlayOnWords]

@Bazooka Jesus wow. That evokes some apprehension. Lol. Maybe that's a good reason to push through and do it. There is a small supply so could always build up to it with this batch.

Tested a small piece today n it seems like powerful stuff. 100 per according to source.

I guess it's worth mentioning that it has been over a year since I tripped with serious intention. Me and my girlfriend have done a couple small dose trips over the last few months that were beautiful but mainly about sex and drawing. So I think I'm in rebuilding mode on this one. Probs 1-2 tab for my upcoming planned trip. 

@outlandish thought so. "this is your captain speaking, prepare for free fall into the unknown" 

@Serotoninluv I'm sure you're right

Edited January 21, 2020 by PlayOnWords

[Bazooka Jesus]

@PlayOnWords  C'mon, I did 400 μg a couple of times. It's fun!

[outlandish]

17 hours ago, PlayOnWords said:

 

@outlandish thought so. "this is your captain speaking, prepare for free fall into the unknown"