1.7g Lemon Tek

[RickyBalboa]

Setting: Room at 3:00 am

Probably one of the most uncomfortable trips given the small dose. Things started out normal, Increased sensitivity to sound. I put on Tesseracts Altered State album. Its one of my go-to- albums for setting the stage for encouraging flow and momentum in the tai-chi and Yoga I intuitively start engaging in as the come up begins. I really don't have to give my body too much input. It ususlly just start moving in smooth flowing patterns and I lightly direct my moves and postures to match the conditions of the music. It's a poly-rhythmic heaven this album so it suits moving around at various speeds and rhythms. 

After the album finished my hearing started to become ridiculously sensitive. The buzz from my studio monitors, the fans from my computer, and the various overtones from the a/c vent began to converge into this complex swirling cacophonous whir that I interpreted as incredibly menacing and dark. So I powered down my speakers and computer and just dealt with the a/c. This only magnified presence of the a/c. It sounded like a vacum,lawnmower, and low pitched siren all going off at once. Objectively it had a sort of beautiful depth to it. However the atonality of it makes it so dark for me for some reason. I've had this problem in the past with other experiences. The a/c always gets to me. This is coming from someone who enjoys very loud cacophonous and dark music. So it says alot when a stupid a/c vent starts getting to me. 

I started to notice how the sounds going into my ears is directly correlated with my bodys tension. Higher vibration and frequencies tighten my up and the release of those vibrations allows for the relaxing of my muscles. This had huge implications for what I allow to go in my head throught the day. The feelings in body are directly coorelated with whats going into it on a vibrational level. 

Things began to get dark at a certain point. I felt an impending doom. There was a 'thing' and it was coming. I had no line of sight or cue of any kind to tell me what the thing was. But I could feel it. It was there and the gap between it and me were closing. My body began to vibrate in a sort of way similar to when your leg falls asleep. A sort of numbing and dissociation became more and more present. My mind began to pull for an explanation of way of understanding what was happening. I was slipping and the ground under my feet in a sense was starting to give way. I imagined the senations I was feeling akin to that of what I'd imagine being raped or molested is like. Powerlessness, confusion, helplessness, with no hope of salvation. This is happening and there is nothing you can do to stop it. My mind was leaning away from what was occurring and I was sort of fighting what this 'thing' coming toward me was. Same sort of thing happens to me on dmt. My mind starts shuffling through all the things and people who I would normally go to for comfort and I realize they arent real. While in sober state they seem real the experience assures you "no, this is as real as it gets" All those other things are distractions from THIS. That you are truly ALL ALONE. There's no where to go.

I paced and flowed around my room as is routine for me in any experience. Energy is everywhere and it must continue, Energy keeps just going. That's what is does. It became clear how life is just energy happening through me and that my actions arent really my own but ones dictated by circumstance and magnetism. I spent the next half hour trying to accept this for what it was. Calmly and graciously accepting lack of control. 

As the experience started to wear off I decided put on another album to appreciate the illusion of control and connection with what seems like 'other'. I played Devin Townsend's Empath album and marveled at the range and complexity of this aural masterpiece.

The mundane patterns of everyday life are a true blessing compared to the void I was hit with. Being thankful for the illusion seems to be the take away of this particular experience. People are much to entitled and petty in daily life. Things are relatively good compared to any point in history. Sure things can be better and one must feel dissatisfaction in some capacity for progression forward but also must acknowledge how fortunate one is at the same time. 

 

 

[ThinAir]

even thought harsh, beautiful <3

Enjoy your illusion