Approach Anxiety? No Problem.

[Chew211]

I’m a beginner to day game, and game in general, but I’ve developed a way to get approaching even if you have approach anxiety. The idea is baby steps. 

To someone with little to no experience in approaching, there’s a lot of limiting beliefs running around in his head, and the whole process of going up to a girl, making a conversation, going on a date, and then having sex with her seems way beyond something he is capable of pulling off.
I’ve had two successes from day-game thus far, and my mind still isn’t convinced that it’s as simple as it actually is. 

The solution I’ve discovered is to break down the entire process into small steps, and focus on one step at a time.  With each step there’s a certain amount of tension and perhaps some limiting beliefs as well. The idea isn’t to numb yourself to the tension, but rather to increase your capacity to handle tension.

 

1. The first step is simply moving towards a girl. Instead of just standing there or walking the other way, just take steps towards her. Do this enough times until the tension is manageable. This step is pretty simple, and most wouldn’t have trouble getting past it.
2. The second step is to go close enough to the person to where you can touch them on the shoulder if you extended your arm halfway (essentially the distance you would be if you wanted to approach them). Do this until the tension is manageable. 
3. The third step is to go close enough to the person to approach, and you maintain that distance for ten seconds. Do this until the tension is manageable. This is also the step where you might have limiting beliefs come up, like thinking that you look creepy, people are watching, or that you’re making her uncomfortable. None of your limiting beliefs are true, but you need to do this step enough times to prove your limiting beliefs wrong. 

 

After the third step, all that’s left to do is to actually open your mouth. I’ve found that conversations are easier to start than it might seem— as long as you don’t let your mind get in the way. If you still can’t do a full on approach after step 3, then do some hit and runs (compliment, and then leave). 

You might find that doing step 3 with girls that you are really attracted to would involve more tension. Any steps toward the girls you find attractive is progress.

The benefit of doing this in a session is that even before you start doing actual approaches, you will already feel like you are making progress because you are stacking up small wins, and getting over tension.  

You might have to go through the steps every session, depending on how infrequently you go out— but I find that it doesn’t take long to just start warming up with the third step. 

 

I would recommend a shopping mall/complex to do this in. Go into store where the women are relatively stationary so that you can practice going near them, while you pretend to be browsing the items on the shelf yourself. 

[Javfly33]

Nice advices, I´ll have to check those out.

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Chew211

I think the easiest way is always to have some reason to talk to a girl.

If, let's say, you want to ask for a destination and you don't label it as pickup or approach, you just do it, because you know, all you want is to find a fucking destination point.

Or talking to a cashier about some nonsense and see where it goes. Like - never treat talking to a girl like an approach - they can subconciously sense that and will automatically label you as a guy that approached them just to bust a nut. 

And sometimes it happens that you meet a beatiful girl that way, which you already approached and now you can keep the conversation going. 

Just look for an opportunities everywhere in normal life and don't force anything. Go with the flow, do not stress about the process and follow kaizen principle - small steps to success. 

[Javfly33]

2 hours ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@Chew211

I think the easiest way is always to have some reason to talk to a girl.

If, let's say, you want to ask for a destination and you don't label it as pickup or approach, you just do it, because you know, all you want is to find a fucking destination point.

Or talking to a cashier about some nonsense and see where it goes. Like - never treat talking to a girl like an approach - they can subconciously sense that and will automatically label you as a guy that approached them just to bust a nut. 

And sometimes it happens that you meet a beatiful girl that way, which you already approached and now you can keep the conversation going. 

Just look for an opportunities everywhere in normal life and don't force anything. Go with the flow, do not stress about the process and follow kaizen principle - small steps to success. 

I´ve found that way gives me the most anxiety. I feel myself much more relaxed and comfortable if from the beggining im just saying what I really want to say. (Sometimes it will only be a silly opener, but because in that moment I only feel to say that, not because I have thought before, "im going to talk to her with this line because its very congruent with the context, that way my chances of being approved by her will be way higher)

[Meetjoeblack]

I've been working at it for a couple years. Assuming attraction gives permission to approach when baseline is cucked, beta, and bitch out while Chad and Tyrone to take her down. The action is immediately, no hesitation, straight line in, and let the chips fall where they may. 

Interestingly, i have nights where its garbage. I can't get out of my way. Other nights, I'm hank scorpio with the flame thrower and going absolutely insane. 

 

Its not to say, i pull all the time but, other nights or says i hit the flow state. Every set just opens. Its a head fuck. One night, i can't get anything done. Its all going through the motions. Likely, its felt on the approach. Generic chatter. Go nowhere. The following night was hank scorpio flame thrower. Approaching machine. Assumed attraction. I ended up in the girls bathroom with a random lol. The night prior i ended up fapping alone. The glow state night, I am getting throated on a random chicks balcony. Chemistry wasn't great. Direct SNL. ONS. The aftermath is... Whatever. She texted me to get home safe. I thanked her. Never seen her again lulz. 

Its fucked to say that. To live it when prior, i was beta. I paid for dates. I needed a emotional connection. I wanted a family wife and kids. Maybe i still do. I am seeing a lot of people who are following the beaten path. The homemaker route because its time, what society says versus knowing it yourself. 

@Chew211, good stuff.

Be warned by the darker side of the game. You see a lot infidelity cucking, and randomness. Game is red Pilling. I have a preference in age range. I also recognise that difference in "wants baby and marriage" vs "wants my baby and to marry me." there's a savage elements in dating and game by both men and women. 

You see LMR between the beta. Its not something Chad's or Tyrone experience. Furthermore, in the ers of metoo, LMR destroyers are asking for trouble. I don't play at it. There's no ambiguity around female desire. Genuinely desiring you. 3 or whatever date rules don't apply for genuine desire. 

Good luck to you man. What are you seeking from the following approaches? I wanted a wife originally. Now I am unsure. 

[Chew211]

@28 cm unbuffed

Good advice. And the successes I've had resulted from going in the flow. One from an indirect approach and another from direct. 

I usually pick out a feature I like and use that as an opener, or a situational opener.

As long as my mind doesn't get in the way, it's a good interaction.

[Chew211]

On 1/16/2020 at 2:59 AM, Meetjoeblack said:

I've been working at it for a couple years. Assuming attraction gives permission to approach when baseline is cucked, beta, and bitch out while Chad and Tyrone to take her down. The action is immediately, no hesitation, straight line in, and let the chips fall where they may. 

Interestingly, i have nights where its garbage. I can't get out of my way. Other nights, I'm hank scorpio with the flame thrower and going absolutely insane. 

 

Its not to say, i pull all the time but, other nights or says i hit the flow state. Every set just opens. Its a head fuck. One night, i can't get anything done. Its all going through the motions. Likely, its felt on the approach. Generic chatter. Go nowhere. The following night was hank scorpio flame thrower. Approaching machine. Assumed attraction. I ended up in the girls bathroom with a random lol. The night prior i ended up fapping alone. The glow state night, I am getting throated on a random chicks balcony. Chemistry wasn't great. Direct SNL. ONS. The aftermath is... Whatever. She texted me to get home safe. I thanked her. Never seen her again lulz. 

Its fucked to say that. To live it when prior, i was beta. I paid for dates. I needed a emotional connection. I wanted a family wife and kids. Maybe i still do. I am seeing a lot of people who are following the beaten path. The homemaker route because its time, what society says versus knowing it yourself. 

@Chew211, good stuff.

Be warned by the darker side of the game. You see a lot infidelity cucking, and randomness. Game is red Pilling. I have a preference in age range. I also recognise that difference in "wants baby and marriage" vs "wants my baby and to marry me." there's a savage elements in dating and game by both men and women. 

You see LMR between the beta. Its not something Chad's or Tyrone experience. Furthermore, in the ers of metoo, LMR destroyers are asking for trouble. I don't play at it. There's no ambiguity around female desire. Genuinely desiring you. 3 or whatever date rules don't apply for genuine desire. 

Good luck to you man. What are you seeking from the following approaches? I wanted a wife originally. Now I am unsure. 

What I'm seeking from the approaches is a clearer sense of the world, and to be more secure as a man. One of the chicks I got from daygame took a liking to me and is a (sex) friend now. She has been married, she cheated on her husband, and she usually does on night stands with guys and never sees them again. I learn a lot just from hearing her stories.

I want to meet (and bang, and develop relationships) with a wide variety of women. 

The shattering and reconstitution of reality is the ultimate process, and game is just one of the subprocesses. 

I'm also learning to love and accept women as they are-- I'm past my redpill rage and misogyny. 

[turtleneck]

what do you think of this video?

 

[Chew211]

8 hours ago, turtleneck said:

what do you think of this video?

 

This guy seems like he has solid inner game. 

I'm learning my style from someone else, and so I personally wouldn't have had as long of a conversation. 

4 minutes is all one needs. My two successes came from talking with the girl for less than 4 minutes, but making a strong enough connection. My body language is also more sexual. 

I'm introverted-- and that's okay-- I don't want or need to talk that long on an approach. On a date though, talking is great. 

[turtleneck]

well, I mean if you are enjoying an interaction then what's the point of cutting it short? Also, I feel he talked way more than 4 minutes cause he speeds the video at some point. 

[Meetjoeblack]

16 hours ago, Chew211 said:

What I'm seeking from the approaches is a clearer sense of the world, and to be more secure as a man. One of the chicks I got from daygame took a liking to me and is a (sex) friend now. She has been married, she cheated on her husband, and she usually does on night stands with guys and never sees them again. I learn a lot just from hearing her stories.

I want to meet (and bang, and develop relationships) with a wide variety of women. 

The shattering and reconstitution of reality is the ultimate process, and game is just one of the subprocesses. 

I'm also learning to love and accept women as they are-- I'm past my redpill rage and misogyny. 

There's a lot soy boys and feminism that counters anything Unflattering to the opposite sex as misogyny. That's not an argument. 

You posted about a girl who cheater on her hubby. Personally, I don't care much for people like that. The idea of marrying someone out doing ONS is absurd at best. 

 

Stefan Molyneux breakdown attacks against himself with his daughter. A group of women on Real Talk girl chat lol call out a group of men racist, sexist and a number of ridiculous claims without any evidence. Ironic, its OK for a group of people to give their 2 cents on men. If men do it, people freak out. Thank god Stefan is educated his daughter from leftist jargon. 

 

Classic example of misandry and gaslighting. The following of which is more common in our society. 

JP is GOAT.

Spam (calibrated approaches) is ideal. Think numbers game and volume. Options are the solution to any particular problem. Instead of fixing a solution, more approaching. 

You can accept reality as it is but there's Unflattering aspects (divorce stats for example) that are telling. The more approaching you do, the more you see it, and the option is to act accordingly with the facts or to be delusional. Its a fork in the road. 

After a ridiculous amount of approaching, the idea of forever and marriage seems ridiculous. The divorce stats, child custody, and alimony are less than appealing. 

I think even the most alpha male and dude at the top of the dominance hierarchy, say Dicaprio for example will eventually settle down and start a family. The difference being made in living a life of abundance. 

Again if your end point is wife and kids, i cannot stress it enough to VET hard. There's a huge difference in wants marriage and baby versus wants to be married with you and wants your babies. Its not the same. Its a savage process to endure and no amount of mental masturbation will do. Everyone's got a opinion. Opinions are like assholes. Everyone's got one. Very few men approach and even fewer are any good at it. Lots have an opinion on the subject despite ZERO experience. Its comical actually. 

 

Good luck bro on your endeavour. 

Edited January 17, 2020 by Meetjoeblack