AwakenedSoul444

I just want a god damn enlightenment experience

151 posts in this topic

I need to get a taste of enlightenment, my life is so fucking stressful and full of suffering, I'm not motivated to do any spiritual work I meditate like 10 minutes every week.

The hard thing is that the less effort one puts into it the further away from enlightenment you get and my life is full of unsolved problems, I'm on antidepressants so can't even take psychedelics, ugh. So I have to stop resisting these problems and solve them before i can go on to enlightenment but I just want some god damn relief from my suffering and there's a state availible 24/7 to everyone of freedom from all of this shit, if eckhart tolle can be in it 24/7 why can't I at least get a glimpse of it.

I've tried to do spiritual practices but I gave up on a course in miracles because my life is too hard to consistanly do that right now, I have a reiki attunement but the same as meditation, I only do like 10 minutes of self healing on myself a week lol, wtf is wrong with me.

The mental problems I have in my life are insane, imagine having to deal with anxiety, depression and some semi psychotic brain fog problem that nobody fucking knows what's wrong with me even psychiatrists don't know.... I just want one day when I experience life being OK.

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18 minutes ago, AwakenedSoul444 said:

The mental problems I have in my life are insane, imagine having to deal with anxiety, depression and some semi psychotic brain fog problem that nobody fucking knows what's wrong with me even psychiatrists don't know.... I just want one day when I experience life being OK.

I'd say you need to go to a different psychiatrist then, because one that's highly skilled will recognize signs/symptoms of various mental illness and either diagnosis you or tell you straight up that your issues are situational only.

Either way, you should probably do therapy with someone who does CBT.  Also, if you are having psychotic stuff happening, then antidepressants may not be best for you. Maybe an antipsychotic and a mood stabilizer instead. Anyways, maybe check out a different psychiatrist.

You can do Self-inquiry while having mental problems, but it's harder, because the mind is not clear, still and calm. Maybe watch videos and hope something clicks.  This is best sometimes with a mind that's stormy (not clear, still and calm).

Good luck❤

 


Take what you like and leave the rest.

Namaste 🙏 🕉

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32 minutes ago, AwakenedSoul444 said:

I need to get a taste of enlightenment, my life is so fucking stressful and full of suffering, I'm not motivated to do any spiritual work I meditate like 10 minutes every week.

You say you want a taste of enlightenment but are unwilling to do the work to get there. Are you sure? You meditate 10 minutes PER WEEK. Im not trying to be harsh, but if you’re serious about this stuff, if you’re truly serious, start putting in the work. Meditation, yoga, contemplation, psychedelics, self inquiry. You know the techniques. Pick one and actually work towards it. Ive recommended The Mind Illuminated in another one of your posts I think, and if I didn’t, well Im recommending it now. Learn how to stabilize your attention and then and only then learn how to deeply inquire into Now, into who you are, into what you are. There’s no escaping the work. 

Even 5 minutes per day of meditation would be a step in the right direction. Don’t underestimate building momentum with small changes. It also sounds like you could benefit from therapy. Im not really an expert in that domain but having someone to talk through your problems with seems like it could be incredibly healing. 

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Nothing clicks conceptually. 

Mystical experiences are actual. Including Self Realization. 

Seeker you will die sorry to say. 

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@AwakenedSoul444 Maybe meditation isn't your thing. Have you tried other techniques like surrender? You can incorporate it into your day to day life and don't have to do sittings like in meditation.


He has no will of his own.
He dwells in reality,
and lets all illusions go.

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Keep going, or keep falling down to rock bottom, then a few more rock bottoms even deeper than the one before. At absolute rock bottom the ego can't take it anymore, it is limited, it has its limit, you will bow your head in absolute ultimate surrender, past and future will disappear, everything will disappear. And when everything is gone, you will realize there is still something left, and there you go, the experience of peace/presence/bliss that cannot be worded. That's how "I" did it.

If you can't focus in meditation, you might want to try DEEP breathing techniques, there is no way anxiety can exist in a body fully loaded on oxygen, anxiety is a bodily reaction, you have the power to create greater effects that overwhelm the anxiety simply with your breath. And not just 1 round of the Wim Hof Method or whatever, with the amount of suffering you have, you need to go extremely deep, sit and do the different methods like Wim Hof for 30min+ until your whole body is vibrating and you intuitively know "holy shit, this is it, THIS is what they were talking about". Breathing techniques can give many of the peak experiences meditation give, but you are much more active and can more easily flow with what is when you're breathing rhythmically. 

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If you want a total shift of perspective, you must be able to admit and want to change everything about that makes you you.

Not necessarily doing it, but being willing to do it if necessary, accepting everything about you and at the same time embracing changes too.

Right now you don't really want enlightenment, you want something that will mindfuck you and make you feel good, that's not very different than wanting to do some meth or fuck an escort girl, you want a distraction, not the real thing.

If you really want Enlightenment, you would be ready and ok to die for it, without knowing what it entails.

Do you ?

It's ok to admit you don't, I don't either 😂

 

 


If you want the moon, do not hide from the night
If you want a rose, do not run from the thorns
If you want love, do not hide from yourself

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Write the word "enlightenment" on a piece of paper and burn it. There is no enlightenment in the way that you think about it. You have been deluded.

You seem to have mental health issues. Seek professional help. Therapy, psychiatrist, hotlines. Please get help. New age, enlightenment, meditation are not the answer. Please get professional, licensed, scientific help.

You want relief from your pain. Enlightenment won't give you that. Professional medical has a track record of helping and relieving pain.

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Maybe you could go on a retreat for a long weekend. Then you don't really have a choice but to meditate or surrender with a group of people. At least you are out of your environment for a while. 

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@AwakenedSoul444 Based on your posts, you seem highly oriented toward seeking relief for your symptoms rather than transcending your symptoms. Your motivation seems yo be an idea that a thing called enlightenment will rescue you and relieve all your symptoms. 

Perhaps focus on being kind to your mind and body. You often write about how you crave peace. Perhaps spend some time practicing activities that promote peace, without any expectations of 100% relief and what it should look like. Find what allows you relative peace. Stretching, a hot bath, creating art, walking in nature, yoga, holotropic breathing, watching nonduality videos, candles and soft music. . . . While trying new practices, observe the mind and body. Perhaps yin yoga or holotropic breathing reduces anxiety by 20% for 10min. That may be it. Be grateful and appreciate it. After a few weeks, there may be a 30% reduction for 20min. . . Or perhaps while sitting in nature, there is a two second glimpse in which there is no anxiety - then the anxiety returns. That two second glimpse is a treasure and can provide a brief insight into what is possible. Or at the very least, knowing that you have tools for partial relief can itself reduce anxiety. 

Yet you seem to have an idea that a thing called enlightenment will suddenly give your mind and body 100% symptomatic relief and full motivation to achieve personal success. 

For where you are, it seems like being kind and getting in touch with your mind and body may be a better route than chasing an idea called “enlightenment” that appears in your mind. 

If I was so hungry that all I could feel and think about was hunger pain and eating food - it would probably be best to first take care of my mind-body and eat a healthy meall before trying to accomplish something like running a marathon. 

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2 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

@AwakenedSoul444 Based on your posts, you seem highly oriented toward seeking relief for your symptoms rather than transcending your symptoms. Your motivation seems yo be an idea that a thing called enlightenment will rescue you and relieve all your symptoms. 

Perhaps focus on being kind to your mind and body. You often write about how you crave peace. Perhaps spend some time practicing activities that promote peace, without any expectations of 100% relief and what it should look like. Find what allows you relative peace. Stretching, a hot bath, creating art, walking in nature, yoga, holotropic breathing, watching nonduality videos, candles and soft music. . . . While trying new practices, observe the mind and body. Perhaps yin yoga or holotropic breathing reduces anxiety by 20% for 10min. That may be it. Be grateful and appreciate it. After a few weeks, there may be a 30% reduction for 20min. . . Or perhaps while sitting in nature, there is a two second glimpse in which there is no anxiety - then the anxiety returns. That two second glimpse is a treasure and can provide a brief insight into what is possible. Or at the very least, knowing that you have tools for partial relief can itself reduce anxiety. 

Yet you seem to have an idea that a thing called enlightenment will suddenly give your mind and body 100% symptomatic relief and full motivation to achieve personal success. 

For where you are, it seems like being kind and getting in touch with your mind and body may be a better route than chasing an idea called “enlightenment” that appears in your mind. 

The paradoxical thing is that there is a state that can provide relief from all of the burdens of the human mind and it does exists, no doubt about it. What's the problem with wanting that when you're in a total state of chaos in life?

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Posted (edited)

4 minutes ago, AwakenedSoul444 said:

The paradoxical thing is that there is a state that can provide relief from all of the burdens of the human mind and it does exists, no doubt about it. What's the problem with wanting that when you're in a total state of chaos in life?

Because it's not what you think it is.

You would still be miserable with that state in your current position.

It would be even worse, because it most likely won't stick and you will be even more psychologically fucked afterwards, chasing the next mystical experince like a cocaine addict seeking his next line of coke.

Edited by Shin

If you want the moon, do not hide from the night
If you want a rose, do not run from the thorns
If you want love, do not hide from yourself

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1 minute ago, Shin said:

Because it's not what you think it is.

You would still be miserable with that state in your current position.

It would be even worse, because it most likely won't stick and you will be even more psychologically fucked afterwards, chasing the next mystical experince like a cocaine addict seeking his next line of coke.

This is bullshit. Why would anyone be miserable with an enlightened state of awareness if it's your true nature and liberation from the ego.

"Psychologically fucked" doesn't tell me anything? Care to elaborate on what you're talking about?

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4 hours ago, AwakenedSoul444 said:

The paradoxical thing is that there is a state that can provide relief from all of the burdens of the human mind and it does exists, no doubt about it. What's the problem with wanting that when you're in a total state of chaos in life?

The problem with wanting that state is that state is not Here and Now. This is a major source of suffering- the extreme wanting for an imagined state that is not Here and Now. 

You are seeking a relative, temporary relief - which is fine. Yet there is also an unconditional peace that is always Here and Now - it is not dependent on circumstances. It is present during wonderful relaxation and present during extreme anxiety. My impression is that you are seeking relative relief, rather than unconditional peace. 

Ime, it’s best to be aware of one’s orientation. If someone wants relief from discomfort, that’s totally cool. It is very loving to the mind and body. Yet seeking unconditional peace with this orientation will cause a mess. It seems very clear that you want relief and want the discomfort to end. I would be true to that desire and work toward that desire. Once the level of discomfort is significantly reduced, it will likely allow space for insights and awakenings. 

Image being in a movie theatre and you need to use the toilet so bad that you can’t even watch the movie. What would be the most important action to take? I would say to use the toilet and then return to the movie. You won’t be able to engage with the movie until you relieve yourself. 

Your imagination of enlightenment is an imagination and you don’t know if its true or not. You don’t know if this imagined thing called “enlightenment” will eliminate suffering or not. You do not seem oriented toward awakening to Truth.  You seem oriented toward ending suffering. I would be true to that desire and focus on healing and loving your mind and body. 

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18 minutes ago, AwakenedSoul444 said:

The paradoxical thing is that there is a state that can provide relief from all of the burdens of the human mind and it does exists, no doubt about it. What's the problem with wanting that when you're in a total state of chaos in life?

The 'problem' is escalation. Life usually in nearly all aspects work as steps. It's not very realistic to try to go from a low place of alignment with Truth (neurosis, mental problems that you may have) straight to a very high alignment with Truth (that thing that you call enlightenment). 

I apply this to myself too, I want to transcend the mind, but I Am aware I still have plenty of unresolved 'shadow work', emotional blockages, and very, very attached tonanxious desires and material achievements. 

If would be ludicrous to me to complain why I am not 'enlightened'. 

Life, usually, goes in steps. It maybe exceptions like the one you said like Eckhart Tolle. However that is a rare. 

 

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Posted (edited)

41 minutes ago, AwakenedSoul444 said:

This is bullshit. Why would anyone be miserable with an enlightened state of awareness if it's your true nature and liberation from the ego.

The real you will be blissful yes, but your ego won't be.

So yes and no, it will still be shitty but not really, but still shitty.

Quote

"Psychologically fucked" doesn't tell me anything? Care to elaborate on what you're talking about?

Because after  you had the awakening, or the mystical experience, or whatever you want to call that, you will feel like shit.

You already feel like shit, now imagine that time 10.

Why ? Because you would had experienced something you won't have anymore (that you feel you need to be happy), then you'll chase it like a coke addict like I said.

Edited by Shin

If you want the moon, do not hide from the night
If you want a rose, do not run from the thorns
If you want love, do not hide from yourself

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To the OP,

You mentioned your life is full of problems. I have been in that position before, although we might not share the same problems, I can identify with being in that state of helplessness, not knowing how to dig your way out. For me they were self created problems, problems of not taking responsibility. I was trying to escape or deny reality, when reality was coming and slapping me in the face, a surefire path to disaster if you don’t confront your problems and fix them. My problem was in my head, I was a procrastinator, and wanted to escape my problems by immersing myself in another world, so I could deny my own reality. My problems were pressing, but, not insurmountable. I had to learn to face my problems, and solve them, one by one. By facing them, and looking at my problems, it made them smaller, not so looming. I focussed on one problem at a time, and broke the problem into steps, and focussed on one step at a time. Slowly, the problems grew smaller and more manageable, it wasn’t easy, and I had to let go of things I was attached to along the way, but slowly the problems were solved, and I was able to live without a great looming cloud always following behind me.

 

i think this is an essential first step, because what the work of enlightenment is aimed at is about seeing things for how they truly are, but if you are too fearful of looking at yourself, you will never get there. This makes me think you might be using this as an escape method or a way of coping. What you really need to do first is the hard thing if facing your problems and resolving them. Then you will be able to see more clearly, without fear getting in the way.

What helped for me was listening to the work of Jordan Peterson, his maps of meaning lectures were helpful for me, because they are a framework for taking responsibility and facing problems, which it sounds like is what you need to do. Another mentor that helped me was Jocko Willink, who is very big on taking responsibility and doing what needs to be done.

my suggestion is find something like this, which you can use to reframe your mind, to look at your problems differently, so you can confront them and overcome them.

Good Luck!

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Posted (edited)

22 minutes ago, Shin said:

The real you will be blissful yes, but your ego won't be.

So yes and no, it will still be shitty but not really, but still shitty.

Because after  you had the awakening, or the mystical experience, or whatever you want to call that, you will feel like shit.

You already feel like shit, now imagine that time 10.

Why ? Because you would had experienced something you won't have anymore, then you'll chase it like a coke addict like I said.

So I guess this is why eckhart tolle said that after his enlightenment he had to learn how to stop "chasing it" because it was a temporary state that he was in which he dropped out of.

But he didn't say that at all, he said he was in a constant state of peace that lasted for several months before it faded a bit because he got accustomed to it.

It's not a state but its permanant liberation, what are you talking about dude

Edited by AwakenedSoul444

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14 minutes ago, Spaceofawareness said:

To the OP,

You mentioned your life is full of problems. I have been in that position before, although we might not share the same problems, I can identify with being in that state of helplessness, not knowing how to dig your way out. For me they were self created problems, problems of not taking responsibility. I was trying to escape or deny reality, when reality was coming and slapping me in the face, a surefire path to disaster if you don’t confront your problems and fix them. My problem was in my head, I was a procrastinator, and wanted to escape my problems by immersing myself in another world, so I could deny my own reality. My problems were pressing, but, not insurmountable. I had to learn to face my problems, and solve them, one by one. By facing them, and looking at my problems, it made them smaller, not so looming. I focussed on one problem at a time, and broke the problem into steps, and focussed on one step at a time. Slowly, the problems grew smaller and more manageable, it wasn’t easy, and I had to let go of things I was attached to along the way, but slowly the problems were solved, and I was able to live without a great looming cloud always following behind me.

 

i think this is an essential first step, because what the work of enlightenment is aimed at is about seeing things for how they truly are, but if you are too fearful of looking at yourself, you will never get there. This makes me think you might be using this as an escape method or a way of coping. What you really need to do first is the hard thing if facing your problems and resolving them. Then you will be able to see more clearly, without fear getting in the way.

What helped for me was listening to the work of Jordan Peterson, his maps of meaning lectures were helpful for me, because they are a framework for taking responsibility and facing problems, which it sounds like is what you need to do. Another mentor that helped me was Jocko Willink, who is very big on taking responsibility and doing what needs to be done.

my suggestion is find something like this, which you can use to reframe your mind, to look at your problems differently, so you can confront them and overcome them.

Good Luck!

So did you eventually pursue enlightenment successfully after you solved your problems?

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13 minutes ago, AwakenedSoul444 said:

So I guess this is why eckhart tolle said that after his enlightenment he had to learn how to stop "chasing it" because it was a temporary state that he was in which he dropped out of.

But he didn't say that at all, he said he was in a constant state of peace that lasted for several months before it faded a bit because he got accustomed to it.

It's not a state but its permanant liberation, what are you talking about dude

Eckhart Tolle is an exception.

He only got enlightened in one swoop because he was in deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep suffering.

It was either that or no Eckhart Tolle at all.

 

Most likely what will be happen, is that you will have a few hours or days awakening, then you will go back to AwakenedSoul444.

If you're used to be miserable as AwakanedSoul444, and you experienced that much peace for that long, and you come back to AwakenedSoul444

It will fuck you up big time.


If you want the moon, do not hide from the night
If you want a rose, do not run from the thorns
If you want love, do not hide from yourself

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