Inner Child Work

[Raptorsin7]

Does anyone have experience with inner child work? What techniques have you used, and what's the best way to engage with and heal the inner child?

I read about the concept a bit and I have an idea of how to proceed but i'm not sure.

If you could share your experience with inner child work that would be great too. What did you do? Did it work? What are some pitfalls to avoid? Or pressure points to attack?

[Forestluv]

In terms of releasing / healing previous conditioning from childhood, I’ve found EMDR and holotropic breathing to be helpful at the level of body memory. At the cognitive level, talk therapy and openly sharing with people that had similar experience. In terms of getting connecting with inner innocence and vulnerability: psychedelics. 

Ime, there seems to be childhood conditioning that can persist and re-appear in patterns (such as anxiety in certain situations). For me an image of myself as a child arose during EMDR which was helpful to work through feelings and triggers. Yet a thought story about an “inner child” would inevitably lead me to attachment/identification to that thought story - which then becomes yet another thing that needs to be worked through and transcended. After a while, I got tired of perpetually working through stuff and having an “issue of the week”. I just wanted to be free of it. That’s one reason I resonate well with holotropic breathing, EMDR and psychedelics because they dissolve thought stories and go to deeper levels. 

[Raptorsin7]

So EDMR and holotropic breathing will just naturally get to the root of the issue, that inner child work is also trying to address?

Did you find any value in going inside and just speaking to, and imaging your inner child?

[Raptorsin7]

@Serotoninluv Can I practice EDMR on myself or do I need to go to a therapist? I've looked for a detailed explanation on what exactly is it, and how to do it but i can't find a good one? Can you elaborate on this?

[mandyjw]

This is something that for awakening purposes you want to become conscious of on it's own or it can be like needlessly creating your own drama, which is fine, but not if you're not having fun with it.  With that said, there is value in having the intention to address these things, you just want to let them arise when they are ready. Ask yourself, or whatever, I'll ask you,  what are you seeking from doing this? What is the outcome you want?

The inner child was a big aspect of the psyche I became conscious of with my shadow work experience. It's all tied with recognizing the stuff your parents left you to deal with and how it was dealt with, how smooth your transition from childhood to adulthood was, what parts of your inner child you disowned or traded in in favor of "maturity" and acceptance from others. Going through your old bedroom, or else old stuff from childhood, and really considering the things you either strongly loved or hated as a child can all be good places to look. 

In my experience it was a like a collapse of time or life flashing before my eyes and seeing how puzzle pieces fit in together kind of thing. I also realized that the most traumatic experiences I had had as a child were actually self created near awakenings that I lacked the understanding, support or maturity to follow through with. 

Go into it with the assumption that, it was all for Good, it was all Love and it all lead you to and is this very moment. You are the child, you will always be the child, the child never was. 

[Forestluv]

52 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

So EDMR and holotropic breathing will just naturally get to the root of the issue, that inner child work is also trying to address?

Did you find any value in going inside and just speaking to, and imaging your inner child?

Holotropic breathing (aka shamanic breathing) is easily done solo. Leo has made an instructional demo that O followed. You could do it tonight if you want. . . EMDR is simple and straightforward, yet I don’t think I could have done it in my own at first. I probably could now though. 

Part of the EMDR was to re-visit childhood events. Entering as an adult and speaking to the child was helpful.
 

[Raptorsin7]

@mandyjw I want to grow past my depression and unhappiness. 

A lot of what I've been doing has been surface level busy work. Posting on the forum, yoga, "meditation". it's like im removing diseased flesh over and over. I have to get to the root. The real cause for my unhappiness. inner work is what actually works imo.

Also ive had tremendous progress with happiness in the past and i did some ad hoc inner work back then. Then i got cochey and thought I was done. Now im back unhappy again so i think this is the path. 

[remember]

@Raptorsin7 for me one of the most important parts of inner child work was archetype work of feminine and masculine especially regarding the representation of them, of my parents in me. the entrance can be a feeling, a memory, a relationship things you liked to do as a child places you went to, times when you started a bad habit. when you are a child you start out as a watcher and only later you come up with your coping mechanisms and solutions. some of them are a copy of what you have seen. be aware that you will also reenter the story you`ve spon so be careful to reenter and then let go again, don`t cling. meditation will help you a lot to find back if you get lost. try to not only go into the memory. actively working on solutions parallel will support you a lot finding your way. maybe a journal would be helpful as well, you can even invite people in, sometimes it`s easier with the help of others. entering childhood memory is opening the door to the world of mysteries, don`t only go back to the traumatizing events, especially also find your sources of happiness.

Edited December 29, 2019 by remember

[Nahm]

Where is pressure, responsibility, dwelling, loathing, achieving, strife, striving?

[Raptorsin7]

@Nahm In thoughts.

[Nahm]

@Raptorsin7  They just don’t resonate with the inner being (Truth).   

[Average Investor]

@Serotoninluv How do you usually set up a psychedelic trip to work on that type of stuff? I thought about writing a biography during it. 

[youngshinzen]

During a talk therapy session I looked for a situation in which I felt first negative emotions towards women. A situation in kindergarten came up where girls did a catwalk and one came up to me and said: "You‘re strange, what are you looking at?" My younger self was overwhelmed by all the "powerful" girls and I observed him as the adult self. As I could see his traumatized gaze, I took him into a room, locked it, hugged him and said I love him. This calmed him down and I could see his eyes becoming alive again. He hugged me back and after a few minutes he wanted to play. I felt how his and my emotions are in sync, since the inner child is just a symbol for an emotion happened in the now. I don‘t even know if this situation in kindergarten ever happened, but it was the key to dive into the emotion without being blocked by thoughts that say the adult should be strong and not feel that way.
The effect already started to show when I walked out, when I looked at women it was more intimate and loving.

[studentofthegame]

I received attachment based therapy for around three years. It is about gently discovering early trauma, feeling the feelings (grieving / angering) and healing as a result. I'd recommend it.

A related book i am slowly working through is 'homecoming' by john bradshaw. Also recommended to me on here is a great book by pete walker 'the tao of fully feeling'. I'd encourage you to research these books and give them a go.

A journalling practise may be useful. Feel the feelings as they come up. A sign you are on the right path is when you begin to talk to your child state with compassion.

Good luck

[studentofthegame]

@youngshinzen

That is inner child work if ever i have seen it. Beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

[Michael569]

The book "healing the shame that binds you" talks about how to talk to the inner child and how to heal any internal wounds. I'd highly suggest you read it. 

[Raptorsin7]

@Michael569 Does the book give exercises? I actually heard someone recommend it a while back and i kept repeating that title during my LSD trip lol. Thanks

[Michael569]

@Raptorsin7 it does, there are few in there and he also has other books with exercises.