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OBEler

Giving depressed girlfriend AL-LAD. Some experience?

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Hey everyone,

since one year my 26 years old small girlfriend (11 inches) is chronical depressed. Furthermore she had several big trauma from her childhood, but now she has suicidal thoughts almost every week for months because of her study. I went long time ago with her to a psychologist, he said she should look for a shaman because she could have special abilities. Then I went with her to a psychiatrist long time ago, he scanned her brain. found nothing unusual. she has no schizophrenia. He diagnosted psychosis, gave her pills, she took 1/4 of recommended pill and felt really bad and never took it again. Besides she doesn't  drink alkohol, takes no drugs at all just some coffee.

My girlfriend is spiritually gifted, can see auras and energys since childhood without any spiritual training. She also sees ghosts everywhere. My girlfriend told me also that there was one situation in where she became the whole room. Furthermore I saw her having a real life ego death in front of me while meditating for just 15 minutes (rarely she does meditating, I sometimes push her), glad I know what happend so I did not intervened, I just hold her in my arms during this and her eyes were complete dead for some seconds, she looked completely through me. As she came back, she told me she were in the ocean and she dont want to talk about because I dont understand it anyway. There was also some situations where she had clairvoiance abilities.  She also is very sensitive, feels pain extremely strong. Also when I give her a massage she can enter past lifes easily. When she uses healing stones, her reports from these sessions sound stronger than any lsd trip I ever had. Overall I think she is really tripping naturally all the time.

I gave her 2 years ago first time 35 μg AL-LAD. She was back then in normal mood. She said, she almost had no effects at all, just had one moment during the trip where she had a little panic because she had a very deep insight but she forgot it. 

Now she want to try AL-LAD again in stronger dose. I think about giving her 75 μg AL-LAD. But I dont know if it is too strong for her. I know I have many responsibility for her, nobody can give me the right answer here. I just look for some people with similar situations like my girlfriend. Are there some people here with  depression who took some psychedelics? Maybe also some girls here, who did this? What was the outcome? I know everyone is different but maybe I can learn something.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by OBEler

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When I lived in south america, I had a friend who had strong depression. He tried to kill himself 2 or 3 times I think.

I introduced him to magic mushrooms and later he told me they are saving his live. The last time I heard from him, he was still self medicating and it was going great.

I don't know how AL-LAD works in that regard, but my friend did NBOME a few times before the mushroom. He mostly enjoyed it but it didn't have the healing effect he got from the shrooms.

It's a tricky situation to give psychedelics to mentally ill persons. It certainly can trigger situations that could be hard to handle.
Personally If I was chronical depressed, I would try anything until something works.

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Giving my girlfriend a psycadelic would never happen, for some reason she almost hates spirituality or something. Just a day after telling here about this forum and the basic message of it, she told me to never talk about it again lol. But I love her never the less. 

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20 minutes ago, Higher said:

Giving my girlfriend a psycadelic would never happen, for some reason she almost hates spirituality or something. Just a day after telling here about this forum and the basic message of it, she told me to never talk about it again lol. But I love her never the less. 

Haha I'm in the same boat ??


 

Wisdom.  Truth.  Love.

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50 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

Haha I'm in the same boat ??

Haha ?❤️

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5
8 hours ago, OBEler said:

Now she want to try AL-LAD again in stronger dose. I think about giving her 75 μg AL-LAD. But I dont know if it is too strong for her. I know I have many responsibility for her, nobody can give me the right answer here. 

From the RELATIONSHIP point of view: While yes, it's great to be thoughtful, she should take her OWN responsibility for her body. Let her study about the drug, and decide on her dose herself. You can tell her your opinion. But she should decide. 

Depressed people can struggle with indecisiveness, so it that's a problem you can help her relax and get unstuck, but ultimately making a decision, even a small one, tends to be empowering & a stepping stone to being able to make bigger ones. 

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@Elisabeth you are a woman. May I ask you what is your psychedelic history?

I have the feeling on this forum psychedelics are using almost men and the tips which are given for psychedelic usage may not work for women or are total different.

 I dont know how woman react differently to men on psychedelics but they definitely must because of different brain structure. Would be exited to know from a girll here shares her experiences or some guy know another girl who did this.

My girlfriend doesnt inform herself what this drug is about, she trust me because she knows I used it a lot. She comes from another country where such thing does rarely exist and her language is not well enough for researching on her own. So I need to make the decision. 

 

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@OBEler My psychedelic experience is very little, so I can't help with that. Also, I'm sensitive to a variety of substances, but your gf is extremely sensitive. So a woman or not, you probably can't carry the experience over. 

If you really do need to make the decision for her, what you might want to think of, is her cycle. I'm almost sure the psyche will react way differently in the 2nd vs. the 4th week, if not during the experience, then in the aftermath. (But I don't have the experience to back it up.) Let her choose the best time to work with the substance according to her intentions.

The reason I'm stressing her own responsibility is, if something bad happens, your trust could be broken. I understand maybe she won't research herself, but make sure she can give INFORMED consent, tell her about your insecurities - perhaps that you're willing to go with a higher dose, but since reactions are highly individual, you have no way to foresee if this is a good dose for her - and the safety measures and attitudes you both can reasonably take. Let her decide if she wants to retry with less and build up to a bigger dose, or take it right away. 

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Update: My girlfriend took 75 μg AL-LAD on holy christmas day in the evening. She was in good mood but a little nervous therefore I gave her a special massage (look for emotional therapy massage) for 45 minutes in the come up phase. Setting was in my room, she cleaned the air with frankincense.

After massage I left her alone for 5 hours and waited in another room. It was extremely positiv she said. She wrote 54 pages during this trip and cried out of happiness and danced. She said her 3rd eyes were opened during the trip. She had many  insights, but just wanted to share some of them with me:

  • self love is the most important thing. Without self love you cannot really help others, You first
  • the body you have is somehow just borrowed

She wanted to know everything about AL-LAD and definitively try it again with same dose. She also said this is much stronger than anything she experienced with healing stones.

On the next day in the morning she had a little hangover and was afraid if she has brain damage (thanks to anti drug propaganda on internet she read). She still was feeling the drug and was not really in her body. When she looked at her body she could not say if it was hers. It was foreign and unfamiliar for her. But gladly this went away in the afternoon. Anyone knows if this is something serious? In the evening she was a little depressed again so this trip did not cure her depression.

Overall I think it was extremely positive for her with many insights about herself and she will definitively do it again once a month. 

 

 

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