I know that the best way to attract friends/relationships

[Nivsch]

to your life is to show that you dont need them but just like/want.

But someone I know for couple of years and I like [in this case not romanticly but just friendly. He is straight, so even if i wanted (and i want) something more, i cant] replied to me right now in a whatsapp group after i wrote a general message (not for him but to a message was mentioned to all the group). 

My authentic self wants to always/most of the time reply to him back and in warmly and friendly manner.

So yes, if i really wasnt needy at all, what would i do? Maybe i wouldnt reply back in this case. Maybe i would anyway. Its confusing.

I understand the non-needy approach and way of acting, but right now, after he already replied to me in the group, I think the authentic urge/voice is the most important.

Because the voice i feel right now that tell me to reply back, is not anxiety/needy voice, but a 'love' kind of voice. feels very positive. I think this is the best indication to know if to reply or not (yes, in this case).

And as i write this line right now, i think i got the conclusion and dont need to ask it anymore haha. but if you want anyway to say what you think, or to be helped by my conclusion i just got, go ahead

Edited December 9, 2019 by Nivsch

[universe]

The very act of you overthinking this now makes you needy.

You can write 10 texts in a row to him. Its the thought process and energy you have behind your actions that makes them needy. And it will show to the other person eventually. As long as this does hold so much meaning over your head you will be needy. You will stop being needy when you dont give a fuck anymore. Like you dont look at you texts, as if they were tools for you, to manipulate him, to get sth from it. Something for your ego to feel good. Thats why you cant just fake it. You have to release the emotion behing your needs.

[Nivsch]

On 9.12.2019 at 11:29 PM, universe said:

The very act of you overthinking this now makes you needy.

You can write 10 texts in a row to him. Its the thought process and energy you have behind your actions that makes them needy. And it will show to the other person eventually. As long as this does hold so much meaning over your head you will be needy. You will stop being needy when you dont give a fuck anymore. Like you dont look at you texts, as if they were tools for you, to manipulate him, to get sth from it. Something for your ego to feel good. Thats why you cant just fake it. You have to release the emotion behing your needs.

What do you mean? What can I do to feel less needy that i will be able transmit to others something more attractive?

Note i do inner work every day (mindfulness, yoga, books, videos...)

I have also feeling of jealous and triggering when someone that i want to be more close to him shows (in a whatsapp group) more warm words to someone else, or that he says in humor "me, y, z can open a political party" (in joke) and doesn't mention myself. Its triggering me very strongly and feel not fair! EVEN after all the development i did from many videos and thinking... it still very strong.

Edited December 14, 2019 by Nivsch

[universe]

You are on a good path here.

A more direct way to work on your needyness ist to release your needs for validation, protection and control. Try the sedona method. Basically just feel the emotion behind your needyness fully. Note: this can take several hours and continous sessions. You can learn it yourself but its also good if you could find a coach to do it with you (definitely faster!).

[Nahm]

Videos & thinking does not equal development. 

Experience teaches. Suffering teaches.

Loving without is the suffering which directs to the love within.