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Unwiring

How does one practice self-love?

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A heavy psychedelic experience some time ago led me to feel what I can only feel as total love. I was almost in hysterics laughing at how ridiculous I have been every second of my life. The only word I could really think of to describe this state is Perfection. Everything is and always was exactly the way it should be. 

 

This was definitely the most powerful feeling I’ve had in my life. Nothing mattered anymore, it was already perfect. At the same time I felt the deepest love imaginable for my family and friends, everyone who has ever helped me, etc. I even felt immense gratitude for people who have done the worst things to me, as they led me to where I was and helped me grow. The worst situations and emotions I have been through in life lost all the bullshit I wrapped them up with, and I felt blessed that I was ever there to experience them. I had no more concept of “myself” or “outside of myself”, it was just all perfection, and it felt amazing. There was nothing at all to change, being in that state for eternity would never bore or disappoint me. The words I’m using to describe don’t do it an ounce of justice. I don’t think I could communicate it fully to someone unless they have experienced the same.

 

Of course I don’t expect getting to this state in normal everyday life to be an easy fix, even something I could achieve in 5 years. However, I’d like to re capture some of these feelings. I’ve lately been making a lot of progress in a lot of aspects of life from relationship, spirituality, career/school, ending bad habits, etc. However, I feel like I’ve reached a new equilibrium. I feel heavy gratitude for all my blessings, but I can’t compare it even 1% to the feelings I felt during my psychedelic experience. In my reflection, this was like God showing me “Here is what life can be, go discover it”. 

 

My baseline state feels a lot better than a year ago, and I think I’ve incorporated parts of this experience after months of reflection. But now I look to expand. The funny part is that this is the opposite of what I experienced, I had no desire to change, grow, or anything; just complete and utter acceptance of reality. Despite this, since that day I always kinda wished I could recreate that state. 

 

I don’t know what method or practice I can use to increase my consciousness of this perfection inherent in the world. I try some of Matt Kahn method, but I feel like my mind uses it in an egoic way. For instance, I have become aware of my spiritual ego trying to use some methods in order to achieve some physical goal, e.g. I want people to like me, so I spend the day practicing his self love methods and gain a better response from people, then face an egoic backlash in the coming days. Metta meditation is what I have been trying the last couple days and it seems to be along the lines of what I what to achieve, especially blessing people I dislike, which exposes me to new parts of my ego.

 

I am just curious that if some of you get what I’m saying if you can share your ways to feel deeper self love and perfection. I’ve been meditating for a while now and continue my practice daily , but I feel like I need something more to push me.

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@Unwiring  Does using Matt Kahn's methods actually result in getting people to like you more? I have actually never thought of that as a possible use. xD

I've been writing and thinking about this self love thing a lot more lately in a very personal way, in both of my main journals. You might find some useful ideas or practices in the last two posts in this one:

 

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@modmyth Thanks for the share! I’ll definitely read through your journal posts and try to gain some knowledge.

 

Also, in my experience, 100% yes.

Most notably for me was the “perfection” thing Matt Kahn speaks about in one of his videos. Just simply labeling every experience and thought that you go through as perfect. It’s so simple it almost seems like you aren’t doing it right; he calls this something like re programming yourself. I re visited this method today with no desire other than to just try to be happy and spread happiness ( as opposed to doing it for more egoic reasons like improving my relationships), and had some fairly interesting results and coincidences that I noticed. It’s powerful stuff.

 

@Mada_

I’ve experimented with my fair share of psychedelics. I found LSD to be a lot more recreational for me, like it’s more of a fun trip. Shrooms seemed a lot more intense and solemn to me, like my body was taken over by the shrooms and they pulled anything they feel needs to be seen out of my subconscious. However this may just be that I’ve done a lot larger doses of shrooms when I compare to acid.

 

My main thing is that I’ve gained countless invaluable experience from psychedelics, but incorporating them seemed a lot more difficult than the craziness I experience when tripping. It was easy for me to say “Ok, I have found it, my life is complete” on numerous trips. Waking up the next day and applying my lessons are what I find the real difficulty to be. It’s been a while though, it’s definitely time for a trip again soon.

 

Thank you guys for your replies :) 

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@Unwiring This is a great topic. I think practicing self love can be doing something simple that makes you feel good. Like going for a walk, or doing push ups. I think when we recognize that we are in need of more love, by asking the question how do i practice self love, we recognize we're in negative momentum then we have to do something that makes us feel good to move momentum is the positive direction.

I am also looking for more ways to practice self love, this is advice i got from someone else.

Edited by Raptorsin7

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Kriya yoga every day if you are serious about love.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo Gura.

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1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Kriya yoga every day if you are serious about love.

Do I need to get initiation for starting it leo? Or I can just start by myself ?

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1 hour ago, Fede83 said:

Do I need to get initiation for starting it leo? Or I can just start by myself ?

You can start yourself.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo Gura.

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@Unwiring ask yourself:

"What someone who love himself would do RIGHT NOW?"

And do it!

For example:

1. prepare yourself a cup of coffee and drink slowly.

2. Go to a calm and slow walk outside.

You decide. Listen to your intuition. Even more subtle and immediate stuff. 

Do it at least couple of times during the day. As much times as you want. Don't limit yourself.

Do it everyday.

Edited by Nivsch

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Conscious labour, deliberate suffering. You'll find the place you are looking for when you have earned rest and comfort through your hard work. 

There is a tendency among many to seek this place via drugs. You'll find it more naturally with a proper balance of work, rest and play.

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You are on the right track. You just need to trust your instinct.

I have a tendency to be hard on myself and push myself to perfection. Now I have a habit of sitting down every morning and asking, "How can I be good to myself today?" I'll write down 1-3 things and do that. But, I make sure that it comes from the heart. Typically it comes in some form of responsibility (taking care of my life) or taking care of my health.

You may want to check out Sharon Salzberg. She's the queen of self-compassion and loving kindness meditations.

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On 12/9/2019 at 7:36 AM, Unwiring said:

@Unwiring Do you know what video it is where Matt Kahn mentioned the perfect technique? I've been looking for it since reading your comment but can't find it. I'd be really grateful if you could help me out! =)

 

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@Unwiring
First of all the best thing you can do would be to really realize that Love is taking something in as part of yourself unconditionally, without judgement with full acceptance no matter of the state of the matter, because every state is just a made up duality which does not mirror "God" in any sense.
It's not about doing the action of loving yourself so to speak but about losing all the resistance that you have towards it, because it's not an action it is what's always there without needing any action you are just blind to it because you are resisting parts of yourself.
Of course also considering that true Self-Love is not only for you but to the all to everything.
So simply getting to really know yourself, shining consciousness upon these hidden parts letting people trigger the shit out of you in all the ways possible so that these parts come to the surface and you can start accepting and loving them, which doesn't mean they can't change, they will change on their own if that's the right thing to bring your Self-Love to the next level.
I think what really makes it easy to accept and love everything is when you start being grateful for everything, so that's kinda my advice on top of all that. It's really hard for us to understand sometimes how things are serving us even though they seem so wrong, but if you really start trusting God trusting the universe, see that it really has always been on your side, the puzzle pieces will start coming together.
Last note on that, never forget that Love is infinite, you can never ever reach a limit on loving yourself and others, which is really beautiful.

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On 2019-12-07 at 2:22 AM, Unwiring said:

I'm just curious that if some of you get what I’m saying if you can share your ways to feel deeper self love and perfection. I’ve been meditating for a while now and continue my practice daily , but I feel like I need something more to push me.

Its all practice and routine. Ironically enough, the illusion is believing that you need more now. Can you be content now?

For me, its jits. Its the gym. Its meal prep for work. Its approaching the cute blonde sitting in her car eating sushi because wtf is the alternative? Its going through the Gates of hell fire to get there the place of being.

2020 marks a new decade. There's nothing to stop you but you. There's contentment and action. I learned from Owen Cook about freedom from outcome and intent. I took more value after reading the gita, Tibetan book of the dead, meditation, and psychedelic tripping. There's more to be had living at your edge but, I am going through the Gates of hell fire to get there.

There's irony at every stage. Paul said, "I have learned to be content." I continue to be content or cycling through the process. In my situation, moves are being made. Freedom from outcome and intent. Make moves. Non attachment. Repeat.

I have the self love to go make money. I have self love yo go to the gym, to meal prep, to eat healthy, to approach a beautiful girl, have sex, meditation, travel, and read to update beliefs. Its cyclical. Its a necessity but it must be renewed often. Its not straight line.

 

There's a time to sow and a Time to reap. Decide where you are.

 

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On 12/9/2019 at 10:47 PM, Nivsch said:

@Unwiring ask yourself:

"What someone who love himself would do RIGHT NOW?"

And do it!

For example:

1. prepare yourself a cup of coffee and drink slowly.

2. Go to a calm and slow walk outside.

You decide. Listen to your intuition. Even more subtle and immediate stuff. 

Do it at least couple of times during the day. As much times as you want. Don't limit yourself.

Do it everyday.

The OP meant Self-love, not self-love.

You can do the examples you mentioned for 10 years and you will still lack self-love, even have much self-hate. Because  they are manifestations of self-love, not how to acquire it. You focus on how to acquire self-love first. After that, you will naturally manifest self-love in ways you mentioned.

How is self-love attractive to women?

Because if you have much self-love, you will be independent and self-reliant. You will also have high self-esteem and self-confidence. And you will be ok with or without women. Women drool over those characteristics. How sure am I about what I said? It's my direct experience. :D 

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Thank you guys all for your replies. I had the epiphany that there isn’t anything I “need to do”, love is constant. More of what I need to not do, like surrender my attachment to these thought patterns. It is very incredible to watch all the stories going on in our minds, and how they change reality.

@Ryna

I believe it is this:

Good luck :) 

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Read - love yourself like your life depends on it 

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Esther (Abraham) Hicks makes a crucial point in this video. 

(around 8:00) "This self love is the thing that you're looking for is not love of self, it's love that is self. There's a difference between 'loving me' and 'being me who loves'. And when you're 'me who loves' it's easy to love that one and that one and that one... then it becomes irrelevant what your object of love is if you're loving."

 

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YOU = LOVE

Self-Love


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo Gura.

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On 26.1.2020 at 9:49 AM, en-el hak said:

 

 

i tried to understand what they are saying but am not really ok with all of it - of course a process means, it is in a sense growing incremental (i guess we could say that in some generalized way) but i must def deny that there are no quantum leaps that’s neglecting the importance of cause and effect. you can set a high culture back to zero with an atomic bomb. i would not say: not throwing it means there was no quantum leap. i would say: it’s existence alone created a change in the matrix - even though the mental process towards understanding it probably was an incremental process. but „it is not“ vs „it is“ is a quantum leap, it might also be one to understand „it is“ vs „it is not“.

this is a general observation - be careful to understand what a process really is. it’s not just always in the + field.

Edited by remember

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