assx95

How do you handle this? I might have an Ego Backlash

12 posts in this topic

I consciously let go of the girl I loved.  

She ignored my message. Seen but no reply for 5 days. 

While complaining on an Instagram story,  about how some guy she was interested in (not me) said that they couldn't be a couple cause she was fat (she isn't). 

Strange how it all works.  

The girl of my dreams whom I loved, seems indifferent to my existence. 

Honestly, I don't feel hurt, just a bit uneasy and concerned. I have already cried like 5 times in the recent past. I could disable my Instagram ( I don't need it) but that would actually hurt her ego and make her feel more unworthy and guilty if she thinks that I've blocked her. 

I'm not going to text her again. 

I think i'll just keep the app in case she needs me for emotional support. 

What do you think ?

Disable my Instagram ( I really don't need it besides for her) or just keep it in case she needs me? 

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be careful with that

i'm going through a similar story right now, there's a girl, that i'm 100% sure is in love with me (i just want to bust a nut more then anything else tbh)

she wanted me to get into conflict with her ex, because she was too afraid and ashamed to talk to him

after i told her that i will not fight him, we are good and gucci and it's her shame and fear that is blocking her, she blocked me everywhere

it might be trauma thing - she has self-worth issues and she needs to be with someone to validate her - and it's stronger then her, it actually controls her emotions 

so - let her go, don't contact her, don't trust her "ooo, i'm so sorry, i will not talk to him again", because whenever you and her will go back together and something bad will happen between two of you, she will feel abandoned and run to this/other guy again, just to feel secure and loved again

she has to deal with her own demons first, otherwise, you will never be able to fully trust her

 

(or  - in your case - it might be the other way around, contamplate on that, i don't know the full story, so i might be wrong)

 

Edited by 28 cm unbuffed

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16 minutes ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

i just want to bust a nut more then anything else tbh)

I'm now wondering if all men are the same. Same here. 

16 minutes ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

she has self-worth issues and she needs to be with someone to validate her - and it's stronger then her, it actually controls her emotions 

I can say the same for her. The first time I told her that I love her, she was like- I'm not worthy of all that. 

Yeah, hearing your response, I'll just be there in case she needs me. 

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still - be aware of the fact, that you are a guy, that she needs just to "be there for her", an "orbiter", let's call it that way

when you are not around, she will look for someone else, to validate her

better if you just let her go so she can confront her trauma and herself

it's gonna be tough and she may just go and fuck some other dude to feel better about herself, but still - it's not your problem, it's hers

 

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@28 cm unbuffed

7 minutes ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

still - be aware of the fact, that you are a guy, that she needs just to "be there for her", an "orbiter", let's call it that way

when you are not around, she will look for someone else, to validate her

better if you just let her go so she can confront her trauma and herself

it's gonna be tough and she may just go and fuck some other dude to feel better about herself, but still - it's not your problem, it's hers

I understand, Survival at play. 

She needs to have some high value guy validate her and fuck her. Sounds funny and ridiculous when I think about it. But we are all blind when it comes to our instincts. 

 

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@assx95 Did you both have a relationship where she already confided in you for emotional support?

We're you connected?

If not, then she's not going to call on you for emotional support, she will only call on her friends.

If she is the type of girl who needs to have sex with a guy to feel better about herself then maybe this is the best thing that you two didn't take things further?

Sounds like a very low consciousness situation. 

Can you pull yourself out of this and raise your personal standards ? 

 

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2 minutes ago, Nickyy said:

Did you both have a relationship where she already confided in you for emotional support?

Yes. Sometimes. 

3 minutes ago, Nickyy said:

Can you pull yourself out of this and raise your personal standards ? 

Yes. 

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My suggestion to to get off this subject for a little while, plan your day around doing stuff that makes you feel great, even if it's cat videos on youtube. Sometimes that's what mindfulness (and self love)  looks like when something has really triggered us.  If there's any action or decision that is right it will come to you when you aren't stressing the subject so much. 


My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

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Dude, you don't need to block her or disable your instagram. Just hide her profile from your feed, stop seeing his story, just close your eyes. Ignorance is bliss, the less you know the better. If you keep to pay too much attention you are just going to get hurt, nothing good will come out of that. And if you really "consciously let go of the girl I loved" you wouldn't be making this thread. You really let her go when you close your eyes and stop watching. If you don't do this, you'll just knock your head against the wall until you start to hate her and things get really ugly without no turning back. I know it's hard, but you can do it.

Edited by oMarcos

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18 hours ago, assx95 said:

Yeah, hearing your response, I'll just be there in case she needs me. 

You seem very sweet? 

Hope you feel better soon.


“You don’t have problems; you are the problem.”

– Swami Chinmayananda

Namaste ? ?

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I’ve found it really hard to break up with gf that I still have feelings for and then pivot into some type of supportive friend. Especially if she is exploring other guys. It’s just heart-wrenching for me. I’ve found it better to get space and distance - to experience the sorrow, grow, do self love and reach out to others. Once I’m grounded again and the feelings have faded (perhaps after a month or so) I’ve reestablished contact and stayed friends. It’s hard because I don’t want to let go. Yet I’ve found it harder to try and halfway hold on. 

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Go do something else. You don't have to do anything for her or for anyone else. You're still under the spell of the status quo of the nice guy.

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