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UDV Ayahuasca Journal

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So I finally found a great community of amazing people who do ayahuasca ceremony, I love reading my trips after a while so I intend to post my experiences here, the sessions take place twice per month, so I'm guessing this is going to be a long and beautiful journey for my future elf to read.

I've had several psychedelics experiences before this first one, being 3 of them with ayahuasca itself, but this group is really really structured, solid and fucking amazing.

Seeing back all my experiences this one was by far the most profound and meaningful, I feel like I was exploring another random realities like a blind zombie walking around looking for brains, my search for truth started 3 years ago, and since then I've had tried LSD and its "cousins", mushrooms, nn-DMT, 5Meo DMT, ketamine, etc, but haven't gotten close to anything, I mean I don't see everything as a waste of time but I need to admit that I was walking in the dark, all my previous psychedelics taught me a lot but I was not always receiving the light, I was kind of lost and I totally see the danger of exploring psychedelics without clear intention and focus, all this to say that in this ayahuasca ceremony I was literally guided to the light. And I love how every psychedelic substance helped me but I found my thing now, and I'm beyond happy to have found this amazing little plant. 

I take the tea, 5 minutes in I'm already in outer space seeing all the cells of my body disintegrating and every time I try to zoom in I realize they are infinite, I see all the colors that exist in the world, rainbows, shapes all infinite, I see all the parts of my body, my cells, my atoms being rearranged, rewired and put into its right place, my whole body is vibrating in a high energy and it's so difficult to maintain my shit together, so I realize why reaching and MAINTAINING that frequency is difficult, a lifetime of meditation to prepare the body/mind to receive all of that, much respect for the work.

The more I resist the more I suffer, whenever my monkey mind wanders, I feel like throwing up, so I surrender to the plant, and I'm reminded of one of the most basic teachings, the more you surrender to life the better life will treat you, the more faith you have in the universe, the better the universe is gonna treat you, but the ego is a bitch and wants to control, so my work from here on is mostly to relax and take my ego out of the way so the plant can do its job, and man when I finally relaxed, omg my body started being covered by a sensation that I can only describe as HOME, like a million hands were over me, hugging me and giving me love, and I later recorded the same sensation described in the book DNA cosmic serpent from Jeremy Narby, where he says "when the plant takes over, she embraces your whole body, like a snake tangling around you, covering every little piece of your skin" and I felt so protected, all the lack of love I had not received in my life and specially childhood were being given to me right at that moment, like a blanket with love, unconditional love, I've never felt so safe and protected in my whole life. 

At that moment I knew I could surrender because I was being taken care of, it was divine love, and suddenly the image of Jesus came to my mind, a vision of Jesus in his little crib with all the masters around him, giving him unconditional love, and I saw so much light coming out of him, a gold light, it was so fucking beautiful, no words to describe but before I get all religious let me clarify that I'm not a religious at all, I'm actually kind of against it because I was raised in the catholic church and had so much guilty, shame and fear growing up, so I would say my view on Jesus was terrible and I would even say I'm somewhat traumatized, but yes I saw baby Jesus and gosh, so much love coming out of that little creature. 

And after that I had another vision of a little naked baby, learning how to walk and it didn't matter if the baby would fall or no, cause all around him there was the energy that was covering my body, and I thought for a moment that the baby was me, and baby me didn't receive the divine love and neither felt safe, and there was I experiencing all of that light and love, it was one of the cutest things in the universe, it reminded me of a vision I had once on al-LAD, I asked the substance to show me god and it showed me, an imagine of an old man in a cabin in the woods, holding those old pens with tint, he dipped the tip of the metal pen in the black tint and was bout to touch the paper, then the image froze, and I got the message, that exact moment was the clear representation of god, which I read as an empty canvas, where everything is possible, any idea can surge, any word, any person, any story, oh gosh, it's actually this reality we are experiencing here right now, thats why we are all so different, shapes, colors, textures, smells, sounds, that moment before putting the pen on the paper was the precise definition of god, an emptiness where everything is possible.

So this was the initiation and the most beautiful part of my session (we call it session not trip) I had several visions of old people, like old grandmas, like the Oracle from Matrix, they were all working on me, it was a mother energy straight out of nature, taking care of me. 

One thing I noticed that differentiates ayahuasca from other psychedelics (if I were to compare it with LSD for example) how both work with body and mind but LSD is amazing for the mind, I see my habits that I want to change, I THINK a lot while on it, have ideas etc but ayahuasca was working mainly in my body, it was rewiring everything every little inch of my body, all my cells, all my muscles, the buzzing was crazy, oh talking about buzzing, my goodness, from 4 hours of the session, 1 hour was only for the bees, I knew bees were important but man, the bees are the thing, but also ayahuasca is very junglish, I saw so many animals but the bees were working hard in my visions and they were EVERYWHERE and I was it, very fascinating!! So yes, ayahuasca really heals the body, that was one predominant difference I had not seen in other psychedelics, the power of healing. 

I think that's it for today, just wanted to write down so I don't forget anything, and as I write it reminds me of things I forgot, amazing. Can't wait for my next session of mama medicine. 

I will keep working with my LSD microdosing too, it's great for my awareness in the daily life, and since aya does not build tolerance I think I will be fine, oh talking about tolerance there was a pregnant woman taking aya too, and an old lady, even kids take it, sooo cute, what took me so long?





"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." Shakespeare


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