What is there to want other than it?

[Mada_]

Here is a question: What is there to want other than consciousness, this, and/or an alien banana peel (etc.)?

I cannot find want, but there is a force that drives this. 

And so I conclude that I must align with whatever is true. My question is, why would you do anything else? 

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I have so many objections: I am deluded (probably true), I do not deserve it as I have not done enough work to subscribe to any insight; all insights are illegitimate because of this, I am not psychologically ready nor physically ready, I have do not have any success so I will constantly be faced with the pressure of leaching on society as opposed to pulling my own weight.

(I am working on all these things at the moment)

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Perhaps I'm talking shit. And I assume I am in dangerous waters as I came to this conclusion in my notebook and not looking at my hand, but then again I do look at my notebook.