Why it has to hurt so much?

[EddieEddie1995]

  You know that feeling when you already know the answer, even though you didn't have the time to think about it. The feeling when you see someone and you know that you need to start a conversation, the urge and hunch that you need to do something? Intuition and instinct that is always here to give us sense of direction, and if we could only trust it and give in, our life's would be incredible?

   But NO, after few seconds our Mind takes over. Our Mind that is clouded with Beliefs, Religion, Social Media, Culture etc. scared  of any kind of unpleasant situation, in that given moment we freeze and Fear takes over. We say NO, because its easier. Its easier to delay the Pain which  is usually indication where we need to go. Its easier to lay down, eat snacks and watch movies then going to the gym and eat healthy. Its easier to go out and party when we feel bored or have some problems. Instead of quitting our job that we don't like, we stay there because of fear that we can't find better? We stay in relationships that give us comfort and escape,and stay there because of fear that we will be alone, knowing that we will never have true love and happiness  ? We say NO to all opportunities that will make us grow. We say NO, all because of illusions that we create in our minds: What will everyone say? What if i Fail? What if I get hurt again? What if i get embarrassed ? Why we don't take the steps of a fulfilling and successful life so when we are on our death bad we don't regret it because we said NO, only because of fear that we could stay alone, temporarily  comfort and what would others say, knowing we had more in us ?

  Why are we deluding ourselves even though we know, (or we don't) what we have to do? How our Parent's, Culture, and Society affected us, and why is so  hard to say YES? What affected us to be where we are now?  What is the best way to accept our Life Calling and Intuition , Authenticity that is buried inside of us, waiting to be discovered? How can we go over this FEAR AND PAIN that can be so FUCKING HARD, that make us go hide in our comfort nook, and live mediocre life ? Bitter and disappointed, we point fingers on others, knowing that we could be Invincible ? 

Hey Guys! I wrote this right after a 4 year relationship break up, even though i knew i had to do it, i couldn't imagine it will hurt so much...Reading this I realized that some things you just can't write down  ... But I guess this is where i need to lick my wounds and continue my Life Journey and road to Self-Actualization 

Its my first essay written in my whole life, and i liked it  The POWER OF JOURNALING

[egoeimai]

Τhats amazing and the biggest realizations are when we feel the pain. Your case was a break up. 

You see, these words are hiding experience. It shows. 

??

Edited November 8, 2019 by egoeimai

[EddieEddie1995]

@egoeimai Thank you !