Can't focus in spite of doing 2 hours of mindfulness meditation everyday

[Sidra khan]

I am a very quit and introverted type of person. I have been meditating for more than over a year, only missed a few weeks, but not completely. There are definitely some great benefits (i dont ave hundreds of addictions ppl usually have) but I noticed at my workplace other employees are more present minded than me and conscious in day to day tasks, they dont know what meditation is. I try very hard toperform well but I miss things, and only because of less focus I get 70% - 80% quality score, my supervisor often ask me to work with more concentration, all other team x get above 95. It makes me sad when I listen negative compliments cz, I give more time to my work than others, I do focused meditation to improve my mindfulness, yet unable to get the results. People often blame me for not knowing/ listening /noticing things they notice. Its seems very hard to me to get out of my mind and live in the present moment. When I do nothing meditation , it even worsen the mood cz of flood of thoughts. People often call me dumb/naive/ the one who can be easily manipulated/simple/unintelligent. I just wanna know what are your thoughts, cz I don't have any likeminded friends,I live alone. BTW im 26 and not a depressed person

Edited November 6, 2019 by Sidra khan

[kira]

3 hours ago, Sidra khan said:

People often blame me for not knowing/ listening /noticing things they notice.

wow i can really relate to that right there buddy.

 what can you think of that they might be doing different than you ?

[Hello from Russia]

Feel for you man. It is really hard to have a good focus in nowadays time because of numerous things. Can you tell us more about your concentration meditation practice? What exactly do you do? Also, did you check your diet? What about exercising? Do you have unhealthy relationship with watching too much telephone or hectically checking new messages\notifications from your mobile? There are many things that can contribute to unfocusness, I'm struggling with it too with ups and downs

[Eph75]

What are the flood of thoughts usually about? Are there any themes or just random shit without patterns?

Maybe the lack of focus is a cue for you to fix something in your life, something within you or something around you? Stuff that you can't let go of in your current state.

Meditation isn't a fix all solution.

Edited November 6, 2019 by Eph75

[Sidra khan]

2 hours ago, Hello from Russia said:

Feel for you man. It is really hard to have a good focus in nowadays time because of numerous things. Can you tell us more about your concentration meditation practice? What exactly do you do? Also, did you check your diet? What about exercising? Do you have unhealthy relationship with watching too much telephone or hectically checking new messages\notifications from your mobile? There are many things that can contribute to unfocusness, I'm struggling with it too with ups and downs

Thanks Russia , I have a good diet, I walk a lot, and use my cell phone only for alarm or necessary phone calls, some times watch informational stuff.

Edited November 6, 2019 by Sidra khan

[Sidra khan]

1 hour ago, Eph75 said:

What are the flood of thoughts usually about? Are there any themes or just random shit without patterns?

Maybe the lack of focus is a cue for you to fix something in your life, something within you or something around you? Stuff that you can't let go of in your current state.

Meditation isn't a fix all solution.

I have already fixed big things, 70 percent of thoughts are day dreams, day dream is the only addiction I couldnt get rid inspite of. There are some 3-4 long day dream stories that run in my mind like a series. Anything in real life is emotionally stimulating gets connected to it and I love continue creating the story for hours doing nothing, at the end feel frustrated for wasting mymy time. In the past there was a story in which I was the male president of Asia doing VERY novel creative things for people. Thought of this story for years. Then another story came in which im a cute female victim house wife, who learns from the ups and downs of life, sacrifice alot, do meditation, etc. And hero is a man from real life who helped me 6 hears back. For him  I have no feelings at all in real life but in the story he has a special role. Apart from that there are small stories as well , related to my office, often think of them/create them while sitting in office chair, which distract me from my work. Outer distractions doesn't hinder my performance at all.

Other types of thoughts are about people while observing them, I often see people without listening to them, I automatically observe there moves, there looks, there feelings, face expression, pronunciation of words without understanding the meaning,  speed of talk, nervousness or confidence, there behavior of past and then compareing the past and present behavior, if its about dressing id start assuming what possible thought of him would have made him/her dress like that.

[Sidra khan]

2 hours ago, kira said:

wow i can really relate to that right there buddy.

 what can you think of that they might be doing different than you ?

They interact with other employees 10 times more than me, thatI might be the reason.

[brugluiz]

What kind of job do you do? If you're an introvert working as a salesperson, you gonna have a bad time.

I worked as an Animation Artist and a lot of interaction with other people meant less productivity. I also worked in a closed space because I'm also an introvert, which means open spaces are shit and almost unworkable for me.

When I transfered to a studio where we had to work in an open space, my productivity dropped drastically. A lot of chitting-chatting in the workplace also pissed me off.

Maybe, instead of just meditating, you need to assess your needs. What's bothering me in the workplace? What should get better for me to feel comfortable to perform my tasks?

Then talk to your superior about the answers you found.

[Leen1973]

4 hours ago, Sidra khan said:

They interact with other employees 10 times more than me, thatI might be the reason.

Hey Sidra, it strikes me how judgmental you are towards yourself. Maybe that is a problem for you. Not al nervous systems are the same. Dont compare yourself.

Only to yourself. You did learn some things already, right?

 

Dont be too hard on yourself. Everybody is different! Not all characters are the same. 

Ps I work somewhere where I can sit alone. Maybe you have to look indeed at those things. And btw a lot of people play rolls that are totally different than what the people behind it really are. And maybe you need a more creative job: when you make up stories, possibly you need more creativity. But you can also do these things in your spare time!! So indeed needs that have to be met.

Bless you. Dont be so hard on yourself. ??

Edited November 6, 2019 by Leen1973

[Good-boy]

@Sidra khan increase the omega 3 intake in your diet, do intermittent fasting(16-8) and take Ice cold showers in the morning. 

[Nickyy]

@Sidra khan You won't be able to reduce thinking if you continue to form an identity out if it.

Try observing "thinking" as an entity that's trying to possess you and keep you from experiencing real life.

This is a very useful strategy if regular meditation isn't working for you.

Once you get a glimpse of true peace that is generated by stillness, it will be easier each time to see that the mind is nothing more than a substitute for contact with actuality. But you need to be able to sense the difference. At the moment it seems as if you still believe that daydreaming is far more interesting than actuality. We need to get you to understand directly that daydreaming is actually nothing but suffering that is dualistic, fleeting, unstable, delusional.

So try to look at thinking as a type of seduction that leads to suffering. 

[kira]

@Sidra khan  thats what i though too. because its the same for me.
do you think that maybe you are too mutch in your head while your co-workers are benefiting alot more of the socializing they do with each other ?

as sad as it might be.. its all social games.. and if decide not take partake in social games … they are some risk that comes with that decicion.

being /feeling left out would be one of them… in a workplace where you work together with a number of other employees alot of "valuble" info is being passed around between chit-chats

of course is compleatly your choice if you participe on social games or not.

Edited November 7, 2019 by kira
grammer

[silene]

@Sidra khan hi, it sounds like sitting meditation is your main practice, however good this is you may find it hard to apply the benefits in a totally different environment, such as work. We all have strong habits to chip away at, which are connected with certain environments and people. 

I would recommend a mindfulness practice you can use in ordinary daily life, not just on the sitting cushion. I found the free online course on futurelearn.com good (Mindfulness for Wellbeing and Peak Performance) and it has a focus on performance at work. But there's other ways to learn mindfulness too. Just don't expect instant results, this work takes time, so learn to be patient and kind to yourself. And you will probably always be an introvert (I am too), I don't think this will change your basic personality, but help you to make the most of your natural talents. 

Edited November 7, 2019 by silene

[Hello from Russia]

Try to do specifically concentration based meditation technique instead of insight based technique  (which mindfulness meditation usually a part of). Leo has a pretty good introductory video on it, however I'd encourage to read books on meditation techniques aswell. In Leo's booklist there is one good book on the very top of meditation list, it's called .... teachings of Buddha. It goes well explaining Concentration vs Insights meditation and how the go hand in hand and especially how concentration helps with other things. You can't really do deep work in this work (nor in life purpose work) without deep concentration abilities.

[Sidra khan]

On 11/7/2019 at 1:43 AM, brugluiz said:

What kind of job do you do? If you're an introvert working as a salesperson, you gonna have a bad time.

I worked as an Animation Artist and a lot of interaction with other people meant less productivity. I also worked in a closed space because I'm also an introvert, which means open spaces are shit and almost unworkable for me.

When I transfered to a studio where we had to work in an open space, my productivity dropped drastically. A lot of chitting-chatting in the workplace also pissed me off.

Maybe, instead of just meditating, you need to assess your needs. What's bothering me in the workplace? What should get better for me to feel comfortable to perform my tasks?

Then talk to your superior about the answers you found.

Thanks for your response Bruigluis, im satisfied with my work. I write emails.

[Sidra khan]

On 11/8/2019 at 2:00 AM, silene said:

@Sidra khan hi, it sounds like sitting meditation is your main practice, however good this is you may find it hard to apply the benefits in a totally different environment, such as work. We all have strong habits to chip away at, which are connected with certain environments and people. 

I would recommend a mindfulness practice you can use in ordinary daily life, not just on the sitting cushion. I found the free online course on futurelearn.com good (Mindfulness for Wellbeing and Peak Performance) and it has a focus on performance at work. But there's other ways to learn mindfulness too. Just don't expect instant results, this work takes time, so learn to be patient and kind to yourself. And you will probably always be an introvert (I am too), I don't think this will change your basic personality, but help you to make the most of your natural talents. 

Wow thats what im practicing now I hope it  will work ill check out the link.

[Sidra khan]

On 11/8/2019 at 1:31 PM, Hello from Russia said:

Try to do specifically concentration based meditation technique instead of insight based technique  (which mindfulness meditation usually a part of). Leo has a pretty good introductory video on it, however I'd encourage to read books on meditation techniques aswell. In Leo's booklist there is one good book on the very top of meditation list, it's called .... teachings of Buddha. It goes well explaining Concentration vs Insights meditation and how the go hand in hand and especially how concentration helps with other things. You can't really do deep work in this work (nor in life purpose work) without deep concentration abilities.

I watch all of his free content but the books he suggests are never free /:

[Sidra khan]

On 11/7/2019 at 11:41 AM, kira said:

@Sidra khan  thats what i though too. because its the same for me.
do you think that maybe you are too mutch in your head while your co-workers are benefiting alot more of the socializing they do with each other ?

as sad as it might be.. its all social games.. and if decide not take partake in social games … they are some risk that comes with that decicion.

being /feeling left out would be one of them… in a workplace where you work together with a number of other employees alot of "valuble" info is being passed around between chit-chats

of course is compleatly your choice if you participe on social games or not.

That's exactly how I feel kira, im so much in my head peope even say this often to me, to be honest I dont feel left out but yes I try to listen to what they say but while looking at them soon  I find myself turning back into my head, its a painfulll process esp when I try to listen something important, but most of the time I intentially dont want to be part of social chatting. 

Edited November 10, 2019 by Sidra khan

[Sidra khan]

On 11/7/2019 at 8:07 AM, Nickyy said:

@Sidra khan You won't be able to reduce thinking if you continue to form an identity out if it.

Try observing "thinking" as an entity that's trying to possess you and keep you from experiencing real life.

This is a very useful strategy if regular meditation isn't working for you.

Once you get a glimpse of true peace that is generated by stillness, it will be easier each time to see that the mind is nothing more than a substitute for contact with actuality. But you need to be able to sense the difference. At the moment it seems as if you still believe that daydreaming is far more interesting than actuality. We need to get you to understand directly that daydreaming is actually nothing but suffering that is dualistic, fleeting, unstable, delusional.

So try to look at thinking as a type of seduction that leads to suffering. 

You're at advanced level I guess, 

[Sidra khan]

On 11/7/2019 at 5:45 AM, Good-boy said:

@Sidra khan increase the omega 3 intake in your diet, do intermittent fasting(16-8) and take Ice cold showers in the morning. 

Yesterday I saw this response and took a cold shower Brrrrrr.  Thanks I never thought about.