Do you control emotions by controlling thoughts?

[Ampresus]

Hello everyone.

Recently I, during the holidays as a matter of fact, decided to spend hours with no distractions. Just there, in plain boredom.

What I have discovered over the past few weeks is that I always feel terrible after having some kind of terrible thought. For example: I think about killing myself and afterwards I feel terrible. Or when I think about old times and afterwards I feel really bad and want to go back in time. Back when stuff was ''better''. Usually these thoughts used to come up and I would gladly join the path, with no ''taking a step back and look at what is actually going on''.

Meditating has helped me see this. Helped me see my thoughts for what they are. Thoughts. Ever since I haven't really dealt with my own build-up anxiety, depression or loneliness, but did try to process, mostly sadness, in case they randomly came up without my own ''contribution'' so to speak.

Now during this long boring session I noticed how many times those negative thoughts would try to come up. I didn't stop them, I just watched them. Without giving them much of my own energy, they quickly faded away into nothingness. Of course, me not being that experienced, I cant keep up ''watching my thoughts'' for longer than a view minutes.

This made me think: Are it those thoughts that cause the way I feel? And if I wanted to control my emotions, all I would have to do is learn to control my thoughts?

Your ''thoughts'' about this? Do you think I'm right?

Bonus: If I could somehow influence other people's thoughts, could I influence their emotions too? Sounds like devilry when I put it like that...

Sorry if this may come over as dumb for some people. I feel like I made a great discovery about my own emotions.

[arlin]

I don't think so. Personally i find that the emotions are what give impact to the thought. I could think of killing myself right now, and laugh about it. Or be neutral about it. If that thought has no emotions behind it, it will fade and not appear again. If you are depressed for example, you can not change how you feel by trying to think positive.

I think if you want to work with your emotions you have directly to wark with them. This does not mean think about them. In fact, thinking could be as well be a defense mecchanism to make you not confront some emotions that you really don't want to feel.

I would suggest you get in touch with what is really going on inside you emotionally and then start a releasing process.

[SoonHei]

Do you control emotions by controlling thoughts?

 

you cannot control the thoughts. thoughts simply appear to you.

for example if you were in a room where a piano, drums, violin, and a guitar are being played... can you control what sound is heard by you? 

same way, all thoughts are simply appearing before you.

you cannot control it... you can simply choose to let go identifying with it.

if i told you that table tennis is the worst sport in the world! would that upset you? (hopefully you're not a table tennis fan for this example I'm using )

but if i told you that Netherlands is the worst country in the world! that maybe will upset/anger you (seeing that you're from that country) 

same way. it's not the thought/comment which upsets you. it is your identification with it.

thought/comments made by others are just "sounds" which you assign meaning to and then identify with... simply let go... you are not your thoughts.

 

and trying to control causes more issues. if you were on a roller-coaster ride which is on a track and there is pretend steering wheel in the car you're in, does turning that do anything to control the roller-coaster ride? if one thinks they can control it, and when they turn the wheel and it goes no-where. that can certainly upset. but once you see that it is out of your control. you can sit back and enjoy the ride

[Ampresus]

7 minutes ago, SoonHei said:

same way. it's not the thought/comment which upsets you. it is your identification with it.

thought/comments made by others are just "sounds" which you assign meaning to and then identify with... simply let go... you are not your thoughts.

 

and trying to control causes more issues. if you were on a roller-coaster ride which is on a track and there is pretend steering wheel in the car you're in, does turning that do anything to control the roller-coaster ride? if one thinks they can control it, and when they turn the wheel and it goes no-where. that can certainly upset. but once you see that it is out of your control. you can sit back and enjoy the ride

@SoonHei This really makes it clear to me. Thank you so much for explaining.


I never play table tennis btw, but I understand what you mean.

[SoonHei]

@Ampresus

yes. and of course, it can take time with the dis-identification process... don't expect overnight. but you will find it will have a snowball rolling down the hill effect. just gotta get the ball rolling and as you notice and find the peace it will attract more of similar action on your part which brings it about.

best wishes