Limitation of Attraction Skills?

[Leo Kaminski]

Hey Leo & Guys

I was wondering lately up to which level I can develop me own attraction skills with girls to. I am a genuine looking guy, in this work for quite some time, have a wonderful girlfriend and am very fulfilled with the girl experiences I have had so far in my life. 

Lately I was engaging with girls a little more again. No cheating or anything but just engaging in conversation and reading there attraction. In comfortable settings I am getting great responses.

Naturally there are not that many very engaged responses from girls I have met for a few minutes if it is in a more random setting (cold approaching). I don't want to fuck them or something since I am very happy, just wanted to understand to what level I could develop my skills to create very genuine, authentic connection with girls in very short amount of time (like a 5 to 10 minute conversation). 

This post is not so much about my own stage, level of skill or situation, but more about understanding what high developed people are able to create. 

By creating genuine connection I mean: 

- The Girl showing attraction

- Being very authentic about who I am 

- Being light hearted

- Making her get interested 

 

I know that there is a plenty of pick up and dating material out there so no need to explain any techniques or stuff I find that myself. More interest in hearing what some of you guys are able to do on high level (no states or one timers, but stage like development and high percentage of positive responses you can create). 

Appreciate it! 

[Leo Gura]

You can get so good you can sleep with a new girl every week.

But that takes a lot of work and training.

Not saying you should do this. Just saying what's possible.

Keep in mind what you probably just want is to get a nice girlfriend. So that's probably your best goal.

[Leo Kaminski]

Thank You @Leo Gura

Yeah I am well aware about that. Being in a happy relationship already. 

I am also well aware that sleeping with a new girl each week is more than reasonable. 

The thing I mean specifically, if that makes sense, is what are the limits to creating a fast and lasting connection with a girl in the first place. Like first 5 to 10 minutes you meet her. So far this always came naturally to me at times and sometimes it doesn't which I am generally fine with since you don't connect with everybody. But I wanted to understand to which degree I got to develop myself to being able to have lasting connection with a girl within these first minutes and if I am maybe trying to create something that is stupid, since it is not really important. 

I know that if I would date a girl I would have dates etc. and it be on. But randomly without the direct intention of sleeping with her next days to create a connection that she is naturally attracted and kind of in (love). That is what I want to understand, wether I am still lacking this kind of fast connection skill at times. I also don't want to fake anything but be myself for sure. 

By the way I see that this is highly egoic intention for validation seeking. 

This whole description might be hard to put into words, because it is not so much about the "fuck a bunch of hot girls" thing. But more about my ability to show up as myself and be able to game or attract girls passively while creating a genuine attraction from my side. 

Any further advice on this particular thing?

Thanks 

 

 

[universe]

This guy has a technique you might be interested in

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ui7h8CTSD_8

Someone shared the video here recently, I dont know if it really works!

[Knock]

@Leo Kaminski You are not good enough. If you can't connect with 90% of girls within 35 seconds, you are less of a man than you could be. You need to watch 10,000 more hours of content, approach 5,000 more girls, and buy my $2,000 super master attraction course before you become worthy. 

I hope you understand that was hyperbole and I was being facetious. 

I ask sincerely, what is your intention for this post? I don't understand, either than approval seeking or being some kind of self-help sadist. 

[Ananta]

12 hours ago, Leo Kaminski said:

Being in a happy relationship already. 

If this is true, then you're playing with fire...and will probably get burned.

[Leo Gura]

16 hours ago, Leo Kaminski said:

Thank You @Leo Gura

Yeah I am well aware about that. Being in a happy relationship already. 

I am also well aware that sleeping with a new girl each week is more than reasonable. 

The thing I mean specifically, if that makes sense, is what are the limits to creating a fast and lasting connection with a girl in the first place. Like first 5 to 10 minutes you meet her. So far this always came naturally to me at times and sometimes it doesn't which I am generally fine with since you don't connect with everybody. But I wanted to understand to which degree I got to develop myself to being able to have lasting connection with a girl within these first minutes and if I am maybe trying to create something that is stupid, since it is not really important. 

I know that if I would date a girl I would have dates etc. and it be on. But randomly without the direct intention of sleeping with her next days to create a connection that she is naturally attracted and kind of in (love). That is what I want to understand, wether I am still lacking this kind of fast connection skill at times. I also don't want to fake anything but be myself for sure. 

By the way I see that this is highly egoic intention for validation seeking. 

This whole description might be hard to put into words, because it is not so much about the "fuck a bunch of hot girls" thing. But more about my ability to show up as myself and be able to game or attract girls passively while creating a genuine attraction from my side. 

Any further advice on this particular thing?

Thanks

Why are you worried about this at all? Just go talk to girls and see what happens.

There are no limits. Attraction can happen in 1 minute and you can build deep rapport within a few hours of conversation.

You can make deep friendships with any random person if you really wanted to.

It does not really matter who the girl is, you can bond with her. It's just a matter of deciding which girls are worth your time and meet your standards.

Get clear about what you want and don't want. The rest will sort itself out.

[Elisabeth]

 

 

 

1

On 18. 10. 2019 at 2:59 PM, Leo Kaminski said:

But randomly without the direct intention of sleeping with her next days to create a connection that she is naturally attracted and kind of in (love). That is what I want to understand, wether I am still lacking this kind of fast connection skill at times. I also don't want to fake anything but be myself for sure. 

But why would you want that? 

Do you hear the contradiction in your statements? You wish for a certain outcome, but you want it to happen "naturally". What if the natural reaction to your authentic self isn't love, but hate? What if it's mild interest? What if it's indifference?

"Be spontaneous!" is an impossible order to fulfil.

Having someone fall in love means stirring up their unconscious. It means displaying qualities that they have repressed and would love to acquire back. It happens as a rather unwanted side-effect with teachers, artists, spiritual leaders and gurus, and more intentionally with rock stars and cult leaders. All of these play powerful, yet somewhat concealed,  personas on stage, a great screen for projection. 

I acknowledge this is a somewhat crude form and you may be producing a somewhat less one-sided connection even in your 10-min talks, but if you want someone to fall in love, this element is likely there. 

Why do you want it? Why girls, not guys? Why build a connection if you have no interest in continuing the relationship - is it a genuine connection from your side than? 

It sounds like you want power over girls. You want to know that you can have anyone you decide on. 

But don't you really want to relate with people who are as sharp & strong as you? Don't you want the 10-min connection, when it happens, to be as infatuating and meaningful for yourself, as it seems to be for the other? I don't think that's something you can produce on command. Not with everyone. 

It's possible that your shadow reason isn't power. Maybe you genuinely lack something which can be found - or which you think can be found - in that connection. 

Investigate! 

Somehow I'm genuinely interested in the answer

[Leo Kaminski]

@Knock There was no very serious intention behind the post. I had some thoughts about this topic the day I posted and wanted to understand in which direction I can develop myself further. Your question about my intention is actually very helpful question to ask myself. Anyways thanks for the grounding post Really appreciate it.

@Anna1 It could develop into a dangerous game I noticed as well. However at the moment I am not interested in that, which is why I am not creating any burning situations. But still a great reminder.

@Leo Gura Getting clear on what I want is the key. That is causing the main internal problem. Loved the if a girl meets your standards spend time with her.

[Leo Kaminski]

@Elisabeth 

On 20.10.2019 at 11:57 AM, Elisabeth said:

Why do you want it? Why girls, not guys? Why build a connection if you have no interest in continuing the relationship - is it a genuine connection from your side than? 

 

Great point. It again refers to not being clear about intentions. I noticed lately that there is a growing fear of missing out a little on actively creating my social circle (especially girl friends) and I believe I just wanted to make sure that I am not holding myself back on that end. As I mentioned I am no really interested in sleeping with other girls at this point. Still I want to have some in my social circle, but can't get around this annoying standard for girls to be attractive in order to get my full attention. Not very proud about it, but that is what programing creates I believe. I guess I misconceived wanting to widen my social circle with doing some minor pick up in my post.

But as intention clarifies. I also noticed that there is this internal pressure I put on myself that says "You always have to be able to attract any girl you like." It is not ruling my life in any bigger way then thinking about it once a month for a few minutes  or so. So please don't think it is a big thing for me. Actually it is not. 

And regarding the power thing. I am not really into having a lot of power over people consciously, though my ego wants to be able to handle all situations with ease and success when it comes to having the intention of manipulating situations with beautiful woman if that makes sense.

Another good lesson for becoming clear of what answers you would like to hear when posting. With this one I had no serious which creates an unclear message and question I believe. Still thanks for your answer. Grounded me.

[Elisabeth]

@Leo Kaminski Good answer. I get it's not a pressing issue. 

I think the pointer for development in this conversation might be to observe the forms of connection which are not based on physical attraction. Could be interesting